Chapter 14

I examined myself in the store mirror. The letterman didn’t really suit me, but there had to be a jacket that would, against all odds, make Quinn Shen look cool.

As odd as it was, Milo’s little stint kind of brought Morgan and I even closer together, especially since no shit had hit the fan yet. At least, I thought it did, but maybe she felt differently. Though, if she did, she was doing a terrible job of showing it.

“Ooh, that looks so good on you!” she practically sang, eyeing my reflection in the mirror and hugging me from behind. “Tell me you’re going to get this one.”

“Really? This one? You think this is cool?” I asked, unsure. “I don’t think the letterman suits me.”

She cocked her head and gave me a puzzled smile. “Letterman?”

“Is this not a-”

Morgan burst into snickers. “Babe, this is a bomber jacket.”

I blew a raspberry. “Bomber, letterman, letterman, bomber. How am I supposed to know?”

“A letterman has a letter. Man,” she teased.

“Really?”

“Mhm! Riiiight ... here...” she said lightly, teasingly, while drawing a delicate circle around my chest. I looked down at her head, right near my shoulder, and she smiled and gave me a kiss. Satisfied, Morgan let go and went somewhere else, allowing me to re-examine myself in my bomber jacket. After a few more seconds, I decided against the jacket and rejoined her, finding her fiddling around some shirts.

“Where’s Lexi?” I asked, noting the one person we came with wasn’t with us.

“She likes doing her own thing,” Morgan replied, not looking away from the shirts. “But to be honest, I think she hopes she’s going to have a meet cute with some hunky sales assistant who’ll sweep her off her feet or something.”

“What’s a meet cute?”

“It’s, like, what people think of when – it’s like meeting someone cute for the first time, and you both can tell instantly that it’s going to be a thing.”

“Sounds sappy,” I chuckled.

She turned back to me and winked. “Yeah, I’d rather have what we have too,” she flirted. “So, what’s the verdict?”

“Death sentence,” I replied, taking the jacket off. “It’s not doing it for me. I think I’m just destined to dress like a nerd.”

Morgan gave me a laugh with another confused expression. “It was your idea to come here,” she replied, taking the jacket. “I told you, if you didn’t want to dress like I do, you don’t have to.”

“Yeah, but, I dunno, I want to make an effort. We’re doing everything together, I don’t want to ... make you lose street cred or something,” I replied, shrugging, feeling myself get more introverted by the second.

“Did I say I was losing my street cred?”

“Well, no, but-”

“Hmm, odd. I wonder where you could be getting that impression then,” she replied quickly, her tone losing emotion. I knew what that tone meant.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry for presuming. I just ... assume that I’m a ... you know, that I...” I looked away, scratching my head in nervousness.

I didn’t catch her response as I looked off to the left, finding some other racks. “Hey, what about this?” I asked in excitement, walking towards a display of jackets.

Morgan followed, looking them over. “This just looks like more bomber jackets,” she lightly protested.

“Yeah, but these look kinda neat,” I replied, picking one up and looking at the label. “I thought so: Harajuku style. They kinda look like a rapper or something might wear them.”

“Gonna drop some bars?” I heard Lexi joke near us.

“Check it out, Lex,” I replied quickly, putting it on. It had a neat pattern on it, with some explosive Harajuku-looking graffiti on the front. I posed in an over-the-top style for them. “So Morgan, what do you think?”

“Yeah, it looks good too!” Morgan said. “Do you want these because it’s, like, more your culture or something?”

I gave her a look. “Harajuku is in Tokyo, Morgan.”

She threw up her hands. “Oh great, now I look racist.” She laughed at her own comment, and I joined her. Quickly, I ran to the mirror, and examined myself.

“Oh yeah,” I told the duo, “I’m feeling this.”

A weird part of me felt excited. Like, I wore plain clothes and hand-me-downs and stuff for most of my life. But this was something I was going to buy for myself, something that made me look good, with my own money that I got from my job. More importantly, something that made me feel like I wouldn’t be embarrassing my girlfriend, even though bringing that up wouldn’t score me any points.

“You look great, babe,” Morgan told me supportively, without a smile, although that could just be because we weren’t alone.

“It’s a cool look, Quinn!” Lexi added happily.

“So after this, can we swing by the Sunglasses Hut or whatever they have here?” Morgan asked. “I gotta get some new ones for summer. My old ones fucking broke.”

“They got some near the food court, I saw them when I was going to the washroom, but I dunno if it’s Sunglasses Hut,” Lexi added.

“Ooh, fuck, washrooms. Speaking of, I’m going to go. Can you two wait here for me?” Morgan asked. She didn’t even wait for our answer before walking off. My eyes followed her. God damn, she had a great butt.

I admired myself, not used to the guy staring back at me, for a few more seconds. After a bit, I eyed Lexi. “So, the washrooms, huh? Did you find a guy to go there with?”

“I wish,” she grumbled.

“Morgan thought you were trying to find a cute sales associate to seduce,” I added.

“It would be cool if the world worked like that,” she replied dryly. “I’m alone, Quinn. Always will be.”

“You won’t be alone, Lexi, come here,” I coaxed her, bringing her in for a side hug as I continued checking myself out. “We’re eighteen, we’ve got so much time it’s crazy. What if you find the love of your life in college? All the waiting will have been worth it.”

Lexi hugged me back, sliding her arm up my back, letting me know with her hand that she appreciated it. “Can I say something, like, maybe weird?”

“When do you not?” I joked.

“I’m just saying ... if you weren’t dating Morgan, I totally would ... y’know, accept it if you asked me out.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle, and let her go from the side-hug. I saw it coming a mile away. Lexi would date a gym bag if she could, and plus, out of the three girls in the group I connected with (I was still working on Crystal), Lexi was the only one where any theme of sexuality and romance didn’t come up out of nowhere. She and I were close, there was no doubt, and she was boy-crazy. She was bad at hiding her feelings.

“You’re bad at hiding it,” I replied.

“You’re not mad at me?” she asked incredulously.

Lexi may have been easy, but there were worse things to be. It felt nice, and almost confidence-boosting, knowing three of the girls in the group had some kind of drawing to me. All the more reason to dress less like a nerd. I was leaving that life behind. “Well, it’s not like anything is going to happen,” I told her. “You wouldn’t want to hurt your friend and I’m with her. And truth be told, you’re pretty cool, Lexi. If I wasn’t dating Morgan ... who knows?”

A silence passed between us. I dryly giggled and added, “But if you try to break us up, it’s off.”

Lexi giggled back, just as dryly. “Well yeah, duh,” she replied. “You’re a cool boy, Quinn. I’m glad I got to, you know, know you better.”

“If it’s the looks that are doing it, I do have a twin,” I joked again.

“Eww, fuck no. Not Kevin,” she insisted.

“What’s wrong with the guy? He’s charismatic, he’s got connections, he’s-”

“Slimy, that’s what he is,” Lexi added.

“Hey, honestly, be careful. He’s my brother,” I said with a more serious tone.

“He just comes across as more, like, desperate. Fake. Like he’ll do anything for the time of day, I dunno. It feels like he’s there just to get what he wants from people and leave.”

“He has his ... own version of empathy,” I replied thoughtfully. “Not unlike Taylor, actually, now that I think about it. Hell, she’s more of the ‘I just want something’ type, not to gossip.”

“Real talk, I totally thought you were...” Lexi trailed off, looking around to see if Morgan was on her way back. “I totally thought you were dating Taylor or at least fucking her before you started dating Morgan.”

I was taken aback, hopefully not for the reason she thought. “M-me? Dating Taylor?”

“I know, it’s crazy, but there was something about your energy together ... like, for the longest time, I thought there was something there.”

Wow. Look at Lexi. She had more going than I gave her credit for.

“Of course, it was, like, super obvious after that you were just helping her to get closer to Morgan,” she continued.

I turned to her and grinned. “Is that what you think happened?” I challenged her.

She grinned back. “And that confirms it,” she told me. “It can be our secret if you want. I just can’t believe it fucking worked. You. With her. She, like, doesn’t date anybody, Quinn.”

If I knew one thing about Lexi, it was that if she believed in something volatile, even the truth, it could spell trouble. If she believed in something harmless, well ... there were worse things than to just...

I nodded. “Our secret,” I repeated, letting a pause pass. “But yeah, I’m the luckiest guy in the world.”

It was only after the conversation finished and Morgan rejoined us that the gravity of what Lexi said truly hit me. Did she have a crush on me, or did she just make this offer to every guy that got close enough with her? Did I cause this by calling her cute...? Was I making a mistake?

“Calling my friend ‘cute’ isn’t cheating on me,” Morgan laughed as we laid out her purchases in her room. “You’re so paranoid.”

“I have my reasons to be,” I defended myself as I looked over the sunglasses I bought. They matched hers. I wasn’t about to tell her that Lexi gave me the “If you weren’t with her” speech, but I could tell her everything else.

“Why, did she blow you or something?” she asked as a joke.

“No, of course not! I’ve remained faithful t-”

“Shut up,” she laughed, kissing me. “Honestly, I’m glad that you can be friends with my girls and not be weird about it.”

“What’s weird?” I asked.

“Well, for starters, having sex with them and not telling me about it.” She let a beat sink in. “And hey, you got over your weird phase there, so that’s all good.”

I felt my cheeks redden, and let out an uncomfortable growl.

“For second, believing guys and girls can’t be friends without something sexual going on between them. Believe me, so many guys I thought were good would be, like, proud of how they’re not friends with any other girls, as if every girl is someone I could lose to or something.”

“And you win against all of them anyways,” I replied, grabbing her around the waist and kissing her neck.

She lightly moaned, pushing her butt against my crotch. She lost herself for a few seconds, rubbing her ass against me, then pulled herself out of my grasp. “Hey. Parents are home. Keep it together,” she half-joked. “Anyway, speaking of, you wanna come to Crystal’s tonight?”

“I thought it was girl’s night,” I replied.

She shrugged. “They all okay’d you, even Milo, and he’s not a girl either, so fuck the rules,” she replied. “If you’d rather not, that’s cool.”

My tone turned to mild disappointment. “And when you say, ‘all of them... ‘“

She read my thoughts. “Yeah, Taylor is a no-show,” she replied in an equally bummed voice. “Sorry, Quinn.”

“You know if I said no she’d happily be there,” I replied, only realizing the implications once my words sank in. “Is that why you keep asking me? So that you can tell Taylor if I’m not coming?”

She sighed. “Look, Quinn. You’re important to me, but so is she. These are her wishes. If she doesn’t want to see you ... Yeah, that sucks, but what can you do?”

“So that’s a yes,” I grumpily observed.

“It’s a yes.’’ She paused, then sighed again. “If you’re not coming anyway, I want to see her. I miss her. I’m asking you first, that’s got to mean something. Milo is cool with you now, that has to mean something too.”

“‘Cool with me,’” I replied, making air quotes. “In that ‘I’m not cool with you’ way.”

“Welcome to Milo,” she replied.

“Sometimes the politics of your group are exhausting,” I mumbled.

“I don’t disagree,” Morgan replied, starting to hang up her clothes, but stopping once she saw how much it was affecting me. Slowly and tenderly, she gave me a kiss. “Do you want a little break from them? Maybe I could hang out with you and your friends for a while.”

I chuckled sadly. “Morgan, I don’t have a friend group. I have a circle of people I sat with at lunch, maybe, but I won’t ever see those people again. You actually have a friend group. I have, like, Kevin, and...”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t like to hang out with Kevin if that’s okay,” Morgan mumbled.

“Did he poison half the school when I wasn’t looking or something?” I asked.

“He’s just one of those brown-noser types. Clings to the most relevant one in the room and leeches. It’s weird. I get you’re his brother and I’m sure he has other good qualities, but ... I’m someone he thinks has power, so he’s kind of draining as a person.”

“I feel like you should give him a chance out of school, especially when you’re dating his brother,” I told her seriously. “I can accept if he rubs you the wrong way, but your whole group kind of ... they’re all mean to him, and it gets a bit much when I have to constantly hear that when I keep getting nothing but, ‘I don’t like how he acts.’”

“We can have this conversation another time when I’m more ready,” she told me. “Anyway, did you need a break from my group?”

I huffed. “No,” I admitted. “They’re a bit much too sometimes, but they’re basically my friends too at this point. Though maybe I can skip out on Crystal’s so you can see Taylor or something. Just, uh, you know ... say hi to her for me.”

“It’s bothering you,” Morgan said nurturing, stopping again. We both were sitting on the bed by this point, and she was stroking my cheek.

“Of course it is,” I told her. My cheeks were welling up. I felt like a lame-o. “I mean, she was the first person I was ever intimate with like that, and I knew what we had wasn’t going to last forever, but just ... it feels ... weird now that we’re not having sex and she just pushes me away like I’m nothing.”

“You don’t mean weird, don’t say it,” Morgan supported me.

I looked at her. “It hurts,” I admitted, blinking the tears away.

Morgan pulled me close and we hugged for a little bit. After the hug finished, we shared a short kiss. Morgan softly chuckled. “It’s kind of funny, isn’t it? You get maybe the one girl in the school that’s cool with you doing stuff with her hot friend, and it all goes to shit. That’s Taylor for you.”

I collected my thoughts for a bit. “I miss her, but if I’m being honest, I’d rather have just you. She’s too complicated, and you ... with you, it feels like everything I’ve been missing in my life floods back to me with every second we spend together.”

Morgan gave an uncharacteristic smile. “Holy shit, Quinn, that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard,” she said in an unusually high voice. She kissed me over and over again, clearly overwhelmed with what I said.

I had no idea why she reacted so strongly to that of all things. Clearly my social skills still needed sharpening.

“Boom!” Lexi celebrated as the ball took down all nine pins. She turned back to the group. “Eat my entire ass!”

“You granny-bowl,” Crystal dismissed her. “I could get a zero and still win.”

“Points are points!” Lexi protested, sitting back down, snuggling up to me. “Back me up here, Quinn.”

I shot Morgan a look. I wanted to be as impartial as possible towards Lexi after knowing what I knew, but I think Lexi took the fact I didn’t fully shoot her down a little too optimistically. Unhelpfully, Morgan just looked on coolly.

“You two make a cute couple,” she chirped as Milo stood up, his turn approaching. He did his ceremonial dance, grabbed his favorite blue ball, and tossed it down the aisle with the grace of a seasoned professional. Instant gutterball, no points.

“I swear to God I’m good at bowling,” he mumbled as he sat back down. He saw Lexi plastered to me and his expression turned to annoyance. “Can you cut that out? He’s in a relationship.”

“With me, yeah,” Morgan replied emotionlessly, turning to him. “I’m cool with it. Got something to say?”

He stared at her for a long time before his expression softened. “Sorry,” he admitted. “I guess the competition is getting to me.”

“The loser just buys the wings, it’s not like you’re not playing for the Nationals,” Crystal laughed.

“Is there a national bowling team...?” Lexi wondered, still snuggled up against me.

“Alright, give me some room, I’m getting too hot,” I told her, trying to keep some humor to my tone.

“Yeah you are,” Lexi giggled back sexually.

“Lexi,” I replied with some heat, and she moved off. I gave Morgan another look before she got up and grabbed a ball. I turned to Milo and figured a change of conversation was in order. “How are things, you okay?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” he assured me – or himself. “Just a lot going on.”

I figured it wouldn’t hurt to be genuine. “For what it’s worth ... I’m glad we’re talking again.”

He gave me a side eye, then eyed Lexi, then back to me. I rolled my eyes and did my best to tell him with my expression that whatever he was feeling about the Lexi situation, I was feeling it too.

Unhelpfully, despite zero attraction being present between us, Crystal was beginning to learn she could tease Morgan with me too. Anytime that Lexi grabbed on to one side, Crystal would jokingly grab on to the other, just in time for Morgan to turn around from whatever she was doing or whatever.

“Spare, more like ‘spare me,’” Morgan mumbled, turning around to see Lexi latched back onto me, with Crystal’s head on my shoulder. “Boy, you two really want to see me jealous, don’t you?”

I was honestly more worried about what this was doing to Milo than Morgan, especially since Crystal and Lexi didn’t know exactly what flames they were stoking here. Milo and I clearly made some kind of peace, but ... it was an uneasy peace.

After the first game, the girls all went to the washroom, which just left Milo and myself. He clearly took the opportunity, and as soon as they were gone, leaned over to me.

“I don’t know either,” I preemptively told him. “I know what it looks like, and we didn’t plan this, and there’s nothing going on there. Lexi is just Lexi, and Crystal likes teasing Morgan. I do really feel bad about what you’ve told me, and ... and I know, okay? Please, just ... please.”

I stared down at the floor for a bit, then looked at Milo, who was just viewing me with a smug yet weirded out smile. “I was going to ask you to pass the chips.”

“Oh.” My cheeks got hot. “Uh, yeah, here you go.”

“It seems to be affecting you more than me at this point,” he observed. “I thought we were behind that stuff now, but you’re holding a grudge.”

“I bet Joel is holding a grudge too,” I defended myself.

“See? It affects you,” he replied, cool as a cucumber.

“So it doesn’t bother you when Lexi and Crystal do their ... thing?” I asked.

“Why would it? Both of them are single, Crystal is clearly doing it for a joke, and your girlfriend is right there,” he reasoned. “It’s like you think I only told Joel to punish you.”

“But I-”

“Quinn, we really shouldn’t be having this argument here,” he interrupted. “If you still have hangups ... give me your phone. I’ll give you my number, you can text me or call me or whatever. In private. Okay?”

“I don’t think I should,” I replied uneasily.

“Well, you’re my friend, so I’ll give you my number anyway,” he replied warmly. “How’s that?”

“Okay...” I replied slowly. “Okay. Friend. I like that.”

“Can I be gross?” he asked.

“Uh ... sure?”

“This group is like a case of irritable bowel syndrome. Shit passes right through us, it could happen anytime with no warning, and the only thing we all can do is live with it.” He gave me a playful shove. “If I didn’t enjoy spending time with you, I wouldn’t be hanging out with you.”

“I don’t get how you can say that after-”

“Text me, Quinn,” he reminded me.

“No, but, this doesn’t, like, it does not compute. You seemed angry with me, now it’s like nothing happened.”

“Yeah, after a whole week. Imagine that,” he quipped. “I can pretend to be angry with you if that helps. I just felt a way, and now I’ve gone back to feeling my normal way. The event has passed. The feelings have passed. If you’re talking about what I said to Lexi, that’s just me keeping her behavior in check. I do it all the time with her. Ever since middle school, in fact.”

“I guess ... I guess I feel things deeply.”

He took a swig of his soda. “That’s gotta suck in this group.”

I chuckled. “You’re telling me.”

“Well, okay. Quinn, I didn’t mean anything by it. People were told, but to me, that had to happen. I don’t want it to affect how I see you, is that good enough?”

“Well, now Taylor won’t bother being in the same place as me...” I trailed off. “It hurts.”

“Yeah, but, that’s not my fault. Taylor was planning on cutting things off with you for a bit. I didn’t only approach you, you know.”

“What?!” I asked in disbelief. Taylor definitely never told me this! What else was she hiding from me? “What did she say? Tell me everything!”

Milo sighed. “It’s great how I told you I’d rather call you about this, and you just ignored me.” He glanced at the washrooms and leaned in to me. “Okay. You know about the party at the Love’s place?”

“Wyatt Love? Yeah, I heard about it.”

“Right. So, everyone who’s anyone goes to that party. Go to it.”

“I was already planning to. Morgan’s going. She really wanted me to go.”

“Great!” Milo leaned back, as if the problem was solved.

“ ... I don’t get it.”

“It’s a party. A big one. Taylor will be there. If she refuses to talk to you, she can’t ignore you there. Just ... be tasteful. Joel will be there too. Get it?” he asked, an expectant look on his face.

“So ... you can’t tell me everything?” I asked exasperatedly. “I’d really like you to.”

Milo smiled. “Whenever I’ve told someone everything, it fires back in my face. So no, I’m shutting up if that’s cool.”

As weird as it was, in the moment it seemed Milo was ... understandable. Cool, even. I feel like I could have been him if shings swung another way or something. “Okay, I understand.”

“Can I ask for some info though? In exchange for my info,” Milo piped up, eyeing the washroom again.

“Weird way to phrase it,” I replied slowly. “What’s up?”

“Lexi. She’s real cute, isn’t she?”

“Um, yeah...” I replied uneasily.

“You two have been making real good friends since you got into our group, huh?” he pressed on.

I shrugged meekly. “I guess you could say that.”

“Did she give you one of those, ‘if you weren’t dating my friend’ speeches?” he asked.

“Does she give those to every guy friend she has?” I asked worriedly.

“Nah, not all,” Milo replied coolly. “Some. Some, for sure.”

“I would never do anything against Morgan’s wishes,” I added quickly.

“Relax, relax, I know,” Milo soothed me.

“Okay,” I exhaled. “You don’t miss much, do you?”

“I miss nothing,” he replied. “Nothing but net.”

“It was nearly ‘nothing but gutter’ in the last game,” I replied.

Milo smiled at me. “I’m gonna murder you next game,” he replied.

“Bring it on.”

The first time entering the Love house – yes, people insisted on calling it that – was like getting hit with a wall of sound. Apparently Wyatt and his older brothers were famous for throwing parties, so even though I didn’t know the guy, Morgan was going to be there and insisted I would be there too. From the noise, half of the school was there with us, notably the popular half.

Thanks to the other parties she dragged me to, I was finally getting used to a few familiar faces, and they got used to me too. After Morgan and I parted to mingle, I found my closest male friend, apart from I guess Doug, I had made through Morgan. “Hey, Thomas.”

“Yo, Quinn, what’s happening?” he asked, giving me a fist bump. “You just get here?”

I looked back to the living room. We were in the kitchen, but it was kind of an open concept type of house, so it was easy to see a lot of the house from any one point. “With Morgan, yeah,” I replied, gesturing to her in the living room, chatting it up with some hunky guy.

“Man, if I saw my girl talking to Arin that close, I’d fucking punch his lights out,” Thomas observed, looking at her.

“Do I look like I can punch anyone out, d-dude?” I asked, stuttering my way through ‘dude.’ I hadn’t fully worked out the nicknames and terms of endearment or whatever people used with each other.

The guys with us gave a polite half-chuckle at my comment. “Maybe not, but hey, I dig the jacket. Way cooler than a fuckin’ tux.”

I wore a suit jacket to the last party Morgan dragged me to, and because she found it cute that I chose it, she didn’t correct me. I was the main attraction of the whole party, in a ‘zoo animal’ sort of way. “I told you, former nerd. I don’t know what to wear to parties.”

“Well, you’re getting better at it,” he replied.

“Speaking of, who the hell is Wyatt? I’ve never actually met him,” I continued.

“Wyatt? Tall guy, baby face. Ginger as fuck.” Thomas whirled his head around, looking for him. “He’s probably in his room with some girl. The dude doesn’t stop flirting. It’s why he even has these parties.”

“So he lives up to his name, huh?” I asked. When Thomas just gave me a blank expression, I pressed on. “You know ... Love ... Wyatt Love...”

“Yeah, welcome to grade six, dude. That’s a good joke,” Thomas replied condescendingly. “None of us ever even thought of that before.”

“Whatever, man,” I shrugged it off.

“Anyway, if you want a beer ... yo Mitchell, where’s the supply?”

A douchey-looking guy with dark hair replied. “Keg’s already floated, but Calvin’s gone off to get some more. I think there’s a cooler on the deck, but you’ve gotta get it yourself. First two are free, then you gotta pay. That’s usually Love policy.”

“Wait, Mitchell?” I repeated, knowing that name.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“Were you the guy that dated Crystal this year?”

He laughed to the group. “Yeah, fuck was that ever a mistake.” He turned his attention to me. “You hang out with her a lot, right? You’re fucking brave, man. She’s so-”

“You shouldn’t have sent her underage nudes around the school.”

He stopped in mid-sentence. “Is that why you came here, to start shit?” he asked with some heat. “Time and place, man. Butt out.”

“Yeah, time and place, Quinn. Not at a party,” Thomas added. “No need to white knight for her.”

“She was really upset by that. I hope you haven’t done that with anyone else,” I continued.

“Wasn’t this like five or six months ago?” one of the guys chirped.

“Who even is this guy?” Mitchell asked Thomas.

“Quinn, not cool. Just ... lay off the offense, we’re here to have a good time. We got some dirt on your girlfriend too, but that’s in the past. I think you’ve been hanging around the girls too much if you get what I’m saying,” Thomas replied.

“I just wanted to say that. It felt important to say,” I half-mumbled. I did feel cringey, but at the same time ... I wanted to say it.

Clearly none of the guys were as affected by my words as the girls usually were. They just stood around, taking sips of their beers, clearly not impressed with me. “Maybe you should go say hi to some other guys or something,” one of the guys suggested.

I sighed through my nose. “I just wanted to say that, that’s all.”

“We get it, dude. You said what you wanted to say. Now why don’t you fuck off? Go get a beer, loosen up.” another guy piped up.

I stood dumbly for a second or two. “See you later, Thomas,” I finally sighed as I walked past them. I had no regrets saying what I said, and maybe it wasn’t right to bring up an old wound like that, but what was I going to do? Not defend my friend? I had to say something.

Despite not planning on drinking, I wandered out onto the deck anyway. It was a quieter part of the party, and of course, sitting on the cooler was, who else, Taylor Wise.

I looked at the ground as soon as I saw her, but it was clear she already saw me, and for whatever reason, wasn’t at all pretending to look anywhere but at me since I arrived. Joel was nowhere in sight, so at least I knew she wasn’t ... planning anything? Would she do that?

“Hey,” I awkwardly began.

She gave me a polite smile but didn’t respond in any way beyond that.

“It’s nice to talk to you again,” I continued. She still didn’t reply, so I pressed on. “Right, yeah, sorry. I heard you were thinking of cutting me off even before it hit the fan, huh?”