Nervous? Yeah I was nervous, super nervous. My gut was turning over and over and over. I wished I hadn’t had such a big breakfast. The TV was on but I wasn’t hearing or seeing any of it. I knew I shouldn’t be there. I shouldn’t be waiting. I should never have said I would do what I had said I would do. It was so, so wrong, and in a miliion million ways.

Tag is my brother, my “big” brother. He’s one year older than me. I was waiting to jerk him off. I have never, ever done anything like that. Not to Tag. Not to anybody. I am not that kind of girl. But, maybe I am. Maybe, since I had finally agreed to what Tag wanted, maybe I am that kind of a girl.

I hear sounds. It’s got to be Tag. He’s home. I am practically paralyzed with fear, with anticipation, with curiosity, even with lust maybe. All of a sudden I know I’m going to need to pee before we do this. I hurry to the bathroom before he comes into the room.

A minute or two later, maybe less, and I am back. Tag is already there. He’s sitting on the couch waiting, for me I guess. He looks up at me and smiles. It’s his ‘I know it all’ laconic smile. I’m perspiring. I’m a bundle of quivering nerves. I’m not just perspiring, I’m sweating. My mouth is dry. He taps the couch with his hand. He want’s me to sit, sit there. So I’ll do what I’m supposed to do, I guess. I sit beside him.

I smile a little. It’s probably an ‘I’m so terrified’ smile, because I am. I try to swallow, but my mouth is too dry. I’m thinking of what I should say.