“For us, sex is a full body experience and I’m thrilled you want to try it with me. I’ve heard humans have two subspecies. You’re the one with the penis and no vagina, correct?”

“Uh, yeah. I’m male.”

“May I see it? Oh. That’s disappointing. The ones on your films are larger. Are you certain that is your primary sexual organ?”

“You can call it a penis and it gets bigger.”

“Excellent. Since you only have one, diminutive, penetrative sexual organ– sorry, penis, I’ve brought what you would call toys. Since you mentioned your penis, when describing body parts, do you mind if I use nearest translations? What I thought we would do, since your flexibility is restricted by a spine, is you manipulate my primary penis with your mouth. I will then insert my smaller one in your anus. If I bend, and you stretch your spine a foot or so, our length difference should be fine.”