Chapter 1

The home I grew up in had, to say the least, a relaxed attitude toward nudity and sexuality in general. As far back as I can remember, my parents had no issue with exposing their bodies at home. They weren’t nudists, but they weren’t modest in any way.

My parents also never tried to hide their feelings for one another. They were in love and they expressed it. Seeing them kiss and hug and grope each other was not a big deal. They weren’t overtly sexual in the open, but from the sounds I heard from their bedroom, they were very compatible.

I was fourteen when my dad died in a car accident. My mom and I were both devastated. But we helped each other in any way we could. We talked a lot. And even though we had always been close, we spent more time together than ever. It really helped both of us grieve. But my mom wasn’t able to move forward in one area. I would hear occasional moans coming from her bedroom, but they were nothing like the things I heard when she shared her bed with my dad.

When I turned sixteen, possibly because she thought I was independent enough to handle it, my mother spent more and more nights out. I’m not sure where she would go. Bars and clubs, I supposed. Sometimes she would come home late, sometimes not until morning. She always made sure I was OK and I could call her cell at any time. But I rarely did. I wanted her to have the space she needed to get herself straight without my dad. And I really was doing fine.

After about six months of her new lifestyle, my mom started bringing some of her new partners home. She tried bringing men (and a few women) in through the back door, then out the same way. I never met any of her hook-ups. But I caught glimpses of some of them. I missed spending time with her. But I hoped all the activity would make her happy again. But just the opposite happened. She seemed more sad and distant than ever.

One afternoon she sneaked in through the back with two men. That was a first. She took them to her room and after a couple of hours, out the way they came. I was curious enough about her whole situation, as well as about the guys she was, to venture down the hall, past her room and toward the back door. There was my mom, in her white cotton robe, kissing both of the men as she shooed them out the door. Neither of them seemed to want to leave, but my mom was insistent. She was ready for them to go.

Before she turned in my direction, I made my way back to her room and sat in the side chair next to her bed. It wasn’t long before she came in. She was startled to see me sitting there.

“Oh!” Allie exclaimed. “Honey! You scared me! Uh ... what are you doing here, Danny?”

“I saw your friends leaving, Mom,” I said.

“Oh,” she said, seeming suddenly nervous. “Yeah, I know I don’t usually bring my friends home in the afternoon. But it just worked out that way this time.”

“I always thought you were meeting these people at bars and places like that. But I don’t know that those places are really hopping this early. Did you meet them at the riverboat casino or something?”

“It doesn’t really matter, Danny. But yes, I happened to meet them at the casino. I go there once in a while.”

“I know why you bring people here, Mom. You’re not exactly quiet about it.”

She looked genuinely surprised and a little embarrassed at my comment.

“You ... did you ... do you... ?

“You’re not usually as loud as you always were with Dad. Although today you didn’t seem to be trying to keep quiet at all.”

“Danny, I’m so sorry. Oh ... I should have talked to you a while ago. I’m really lonely Honey. But I never meant to make things uncomfortable for you here at home.”

“That doesn’t matter, Mom. Not in the least. But the truth is, I’m worried about you. I know you miss Dad ... especially in here, in your bedroom. For one thing, I really miss hanging out together. And now it’s like you’re never home.”

“I said I was sorry, Danny.”

“It’s not about sorry, Mom. But the other thing I wanted to say was, I don’t see all this hooking up with people making you any happier.”

“Hooking up? You have no idea what I’m doing when I go out. And honestly, it’s none of your business. You’re my son. And even though you’re very mature for your age, I’m still the parent and I’m still in charge here. And I’m totally in charge of myself, thank you very much!”

She was getting an attitude, which I knew sometimes happened when my mom was very tired. More so when she had been drinking, which I assumed she had.

“Really, Mom? You’re going to try and sell me that? I suppose the two guys you were kissing a minute ago, as you were seeing them to the back door, in your robe, were just members of your chess club. Judging by the sounds, you had one wild match going on in here.”