Chapter 40: Getting Into the Swing

September 4, 1985, McKinley, Ohio

Once all the quiz papers had been collected, Doctor Nagle put a video tape into a machine so we could watch a demonstration of dissection procedures. Our first dissection would be of the back and involved being able to identify the external 'landmarks'; skin layers; muscles, including their attachments, blood vessels, and relationships; spinal structure; and suboccipital region. I made notes as quickly as I could, hoping that between them, our text, and the anatomy atlas, we'd be able to successfully complete our assignment.

"I'm not sure I'm ready for this," Maryam said quietly as we left the classroom for the locker rooms.

"You'll do OK," I said, trying to reässure her. "We'll be right there with you."

She nodded, but she certainly didn't look reässured. When we got to the locker rooms, I touched Fran's arm, and she stopped.

"She's super nervous," I said. "I'm a bit concerned, so keep an eye on her, please."

"Got it. I'll talk to her."

"Thanks."

"Why me and not Clarissa?"

"Think about that, please."

"Ah, yeah, OK."

She went into her locker room, and I went a few more steps down the hall, went into the other locker room and sat down next to Peter on a bench in front of my locker.

"She's not the only one," he said.

"I think ALL of us are a bit off-kilter knowing what we're going to do in about fifteen minutes. But, fundamentally, all we can do is suck it up and get through it."

"But you seem solid as a rock."

"Mostly I am, but that doesn't mean it's not a bit unnerving. You heard me on Monday. That was the first time I ever touched a dead body. Today, we're going to cut into one."

We finished putting on our scrubs, grabbed aprons from a hook near the door, and headed to the lab to join our group near Caitlin.

"Mike," Clarissa said quietly, "we girls think you should be the first one to use the scalpel unless Peter objects. Maryam will take notes and draw first."

"OK with me," Peter said.

"Lissa, if you would hold my notes and Fran the atlas, that would help."

Doctor Nagle gave some final instructions and instructed us to begin.

"Lord have mercy on Caitlin," I said quietly.

We removed the damp covering sheet and both 'modesty' cloths, then carefully turned Caitlin on her stomach.

"Peter, would you make the markings per the instruction sheet?" I asked.

He nodded, picked up an indelible marker, and drew lines to divide Caitlin's back into sections.

"Sandy, would you spray, please?" I requested.

"How much?" she asked, picking up the bottle marked 'wetting agent'.

I shrugged, "In the video, it looked like a fine mist, just to keep the skin from dehydrating."

She did as I asked, I looked at my notes, at the atlas, and at the dissection plate for the back. I picked up the scalpel, and following the notes, I cut along each of the lines Peter had drawn, being careful not to cut deeper than the superficial fascia.

"I think that's right," I said when I finished.

"Looks good to me," Fran agreed.

She raised her hand to signal we were ready for our incisions to be inspected. Doctor Sparks came over to the table and looked over the incisions I had made.

"Very good for a first time," she said. "You may proceed. Pass the scalpel, please."

"I'll take it," Fran said.

Doctor Sparks walked towards another group where a hand was up.

I handed the scalpel to Fran, and she handed me the atlas. She took a deep breath, let it out, then proceeded to remove a section of the superficial fascia and peel it back. I raised my hand, and this time Doctor Nagle came to the table.

"Nice work," he said. "Pass the scalpel, please, and finish with the superficial fascia."

Fran handed the scalpel to Clarissa, and she repeated the procedure, then passed the scalpel to Sandy. After Sandy finished, she passed the scalpel to Peter, who, when he finished, passed the scalpel to a clearly nervous Maryam.

"Just take a deep breath and let it out," I said quietly as Fran moved next to her.

"You can do this, Maryam," Fran encouraged.

Maryam nodded and carefully completed the last of the six procedures, leaving Caitlin's trapezius muscle and latissimus dorsi muscle exposed. Fran raised her hand again, and Doctor Nagle came over to our table.

"Well done, all of you. And you are?" he looked at me.

"Michael Loucks."

"Michael, anatomically, two triangular-shaped spaces can be identified: the triangle of auscultation and Petit's triangle. Can you tell me what those are?"

I nodded, "The triangle of auscultation is bordered by the trapezius muscle, latissimus dorsi muscle, and the medial border of the scapula. Petit's triangle, also known as the lumbar triangle, is bordered by the latissimus dorsi muscle, external abdominal oblique muscle, and iliac crest."

"Very, very good," he said, making a note on his clipboard. "Continue."

I checked my watch and wondered if we'd complete the remaining four steps of the first half of the 'back' lab before the scheduled end of the period. In the end, we did finish the reflection of the trapezius muscle, the exposure of the spinal accessory nerve and transverse cervical vessels, the reflection of the latissimus dorsi muscle, and then reflected the rhomboid, major and minor, and levator scapulae muscles, just on time.

"I'm beat," Sandy sighed as we left the room.

"That was pretty draining," Peter agreed. "Up next — a long, hot shower, some lunch, and a HUGE cup of coffee so I can get through our practice of medicine class."

"How are you doing, Maryam?" I asked.

"OK, I think, Deacon. It was pretty unnerving."

"For all of us, I think," Clarissa said. "But we all got through it!"

"Shower time!" Fran declared.

"More like 'Miller time'!" Peter suggested.

He and I went into the locker room, showered, dressed, and met the girls in the cafeteria for lunch.

"Mike, how did you manage to answer that question from Doctor Nagle?" Peter asked.

"This morning, after Elizaveta left for school, I read through the dissector text and studied the atlas. I did it this morning because we were going to do our first actual dissection, and I wanted to be ready. I think I'm going to do that every morning before anatomy lab."

"Our entire group is graded based on your answer, right?" he asked.

"So far as I know, yes," I replied. "Exams are individual, but all lab work is group."

"That's my understanding, too," Fran added. "Which means we all need to be at the top of our game. We all have to find time to read the day's lesson beforehand."

"Ugh," Sandy groaned. "As if we didn't have enough studying already!"

"Don't forget to find time for 'stress relief'," I chuckled.

"Oh, right, in all our free time when we're not in class, studying, doing our Preceptorship, or trying to find time to sleep!"

"This is our first week of serious classes," Fran said. "We'll get into the swing of things."

"Sandy, one thing Doctor Mercer suggested when Elizaveta and I were seeing her for our pre-marriage counseling was to block out some time just for us. We also make sure we have breakfast and dinner together."

"You didn't go to your priest for counseling, Deacon?" Maryam asked.

"We had both religious and secular pre-marital counseling," I replied. "I'd been seeing Doctor Mercer because I was trying to help a friend with her mental illness."

There were other reasons, too, but those I couldn't share publicly.

"Jason and I didn't do anything like that," Fran said.

"Your pre-marital counseling was a bottle of Jack!" Clarissa teased.

Fran laughed, "Everyone just loves that story! We didn't get drunk!"

"What did I miss?" Peter asked.

"Mrs. Fredericks here was studying and Jason said he had a bottle of Jack," Clarissa explained. "She disappeared with him, and they were basically engaged at that point!"

"Oh, we were not!" Fran protested, laughing.

"Uh-huh," Sandy smirked. "You basically moved into his dorm room at that point! The only time you weren't there was when Dean Bitch instituted bed checks!"

"You complained just as much about not being able to sleep with Mi ... uhm, sorry."

Even though Fran hadn't said my name fully, I was sure she'd just managed to reveal something to Maryam which Elizaveta didn't know. A few seconds later, the look on Maryam's face confirmed that the cat was out of the bag, so to speak. The question in my mind was whether or not the 'leak' would go further. On the plus side, Fran and I had never once been involved in any way except as study partners, and Elizaveta would never think I'd been with Clarissa, so the revelation I'd been with Sandy probably wouldn't create difficulties for our study group. I didn't think Maryam would say anything, but I couldn't be sure. Fortunately, nothing more was said about it.

We finished our lunches and headed to our afternoon class.

September 5, 1985, McKinley, Ohio

"How is school going?" Mom asked when she, Liz, Elizaveta, and I met for dinner at Ponderosa.

"So far, so good," I said, "though I'll spare you the details of anatomy lab."

"Yuck!" Liz exclaimed, making a face.

"That might be best, given we're about to cut into steaks!" Mom observed.

We went through the line and selected our items, I paid, and then the four of us found a table to wait for our steaks to be brought. I prayed, and we began eating our salads.

"Is it what you thought it would be like?" Mom asked.

"If you mean non-stop classwork and studying, then yes."

"And you, Elizaveta?"

She shrugged, "I'm a Junior, so it's basically just more of the same!"

"What did the other girls say?" Liz asked.

"My friends all are cool, but the head cheerleader tried to start some nasty rumors about me having to get married. I'm just ignoring her because it's pretty obvious I'm not pregnant!"

"I always hated that catty bullshi ... crap," Liz said.

I laughed, "I don't think Mom can ground you at this point, Lizzy!"

"Are you sure about that, Deacon Michael?" Mom asked.

"Positive! Even after you move in with them, you don't have THAT authority!"

"Well, I can do without the swearing."

"How are things otherwise?" I asked.

"The private investigator has photos of your dad's car parked in the lot at the apartment building overnight and of him entering in the evening and leaving in the morning."

"Wonderful," I sighed. "Do you have to make that public?"

"You're worried about Mrs. Vogel's reaction?"

"And that of the County Board of Supervisors."

"You're worried about your dad's job?"

"Yes, of course," I replied.

"Mike isn't going to pick sides," Elizaveta said, "even if he disapproves of what his dad is doing."

"Even if?" I asked.

"Even though?" Elizaveta offered.

"Better," I replied.

"I suppose I shouldn't have expected otherwise," Mom said.

"Please don't be vindictive, Mom. Ask your attorney to find a way to resolve it without it being adversarial."

"That's up to your dad."

"Then get me the pictures and let me approach him."

"Do you think that's a good idea?" Liz asked.

"What's the alternative?" I asked. "Divorce is public, according to Jocelyn, which means as soon as the case is filed, someone at the County Courthouse will make sure Mrs. Vogel finds out. And make sure the County Board of Supervisors finds out."

"I don't think they can fire him for having an affair," Mom said.

I shrugged, "I have no idea, but I don't want to take the chance. And, honestly, Holly is eighteen, so really, it's not her mom's business."

"I'm not sure that's true."

"Mom," Liz said. "It is. Holly is an adult."

"Think her parents will see it that way?"

"No, but that doesn't make it any less true."

"You're really going to confront your father, Mike?" Mom asked.

"Somebody has to," I replied. "And honestly, if he'll talk to anyone at all, it'll be me. Well, unless you want to try one of his friends. But that would just make it public."

"What do you plan to do, Mike?" Liz asked.

"Skip next Thursday's afternoon study session and go to his office."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," Liz replied. "That could really backfire if Dad got angry."

Our steaks arrived, and the server left our table.

"Let me think about it more," I said. "But that's my initial plan. Anyway, how is school for you?"

"Good. It's not all that different from High School, really, except that I don't go all day."

"Mike," Mom asked, "did you get your time in the ER on Tuesday?"

"Yes, and that was totally cool. I'm not really allowed to do anything except observe, but the doctor to whom I'm assigned seems pretty cool, too."

"So, like, you just stand there and watch?" Liz asked.

"Yes. But I get to ask questions afterwards. The point of what is called 'Preceptorship' is to introduce us to how medicine works. So once my stint in the ER is done, I'll go on to something else like a GP or a clinic or some other part of the hospital. It helps people to decide what specialty they want, or to figure out they chose the wrong one to shoot for."

"What else are you learning."

"How to take medical histories. We also have a physiology class, which goes along with our anatomy class. We're studying the back and spine first."

"The, uhm, anatomy lab, who do you, uh, experiment on?"

"Bodies donated to medical research or medical education. Ours is a young woman who died of ovarian cancer at age thirty-two."

"Whoa!" Liz gasped.

"Yeah. I pray for her before each session."

"How is Clarissa doing?" Mom asked.

"Just fine. Our study group gelled quickly, but that's mostly because Clarissa, Fran, Sandy, and I are all close, and our two new people fit right in."

"One of them is Orthodox," Elizaveta said. "She saw Mike's cassock and asked to join their group right away. She started attending at Saint Michael last weekend."

"I can't believe the bishop is making you wear your cassock to school!" Liz declared.

"And yet, it paid dividends already," I replied.

"Do you have to wear it in the hospital?"

"I wore scrubs in the ER. That's pretty much standard. The only doctor in a white lab coat over a shirt and tie was the Attending who was there. And he'd put on scrubs if he had to assist rather than supervise."

We finished our meal, and when we walked out of Ponderosa, Liz touched my arm and nodded, indicating I should walk with her.

"What's up?" I asked.

"I've been thinking about something that's bugged me for a long time, but it never made sense, and I didn't believe it, but now I'm not so sure."

"What?"

"Dad and Becky..."

"No way!" I exclaimed, interrupting her before she could complete the sentence.

"Think about it, Mike! He called her 'Becks' and was awfully friendly with her, if you know what I mean."

"Come on, Liz! Seriously?"

"She came to visit a few times after you moved out. Did you know that?"

"I remember one for sure because she called me. That was after Elizaveta and I were betrothed. Becky said she was bored, so she came to visit."

"Mom and Dad? Why?"

"Because they were nice to her and helped her when her parents fled and were arrested."

"Mike, it was after one of Becky's visits that Dad started acting weird."

"It has to be a coïncidence. I can't imagine Becky doing that. And there's no way to find out; it's not like you can just call her and ask her if she had an affair with Dad! And even if you could, it doesn't change anything. You didn't say anything to Mom, did you?"

"No."

"Then don't, please. Just let it be."

"I will, but I think you should forget about confronting Dad. Let Mom file the papers without the proof and without naming names. I'm pretty sure she can do that and then provide the proof later, if necessary."

"I don't know enough about a divorce proceeding to say."

"I think she can from what she said to me about it. Then we can just wait and see what Dad does. Just hold off until that happens so you avoid making a scene."

"Because you asked, I will. I am going to try to call him again. It's about time."

"Thanks, Mikey."

"Keep me posted about any updates?"

"I will," Liz agreed. "Grandpa wants to have Thanksgiving, but I let him know that we're coming to your place."

"They aren't going to St. Louis as they planned?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's because of Mom. Could you invite her?"

"Of course. We can have five; that's not an issue. My mother-in-law might object, but things have changed since Elizaveta and I put our feet down about the holidays. Let me talk it over with her and I'll call Grandpa and discuss it with him, then invite Mom."

"You're the best, Mikey!"

"You sure didn't think so five years ago!"

"We've both grown up."

"True," I agreed.

We hugged, then went back to where Elizaveta and my mom were chatting. We all said 'goodbye' and hugged, then Liz and my mom got into my mom's car and left for Rutherford.

"What did Liz want?"

"Just to talk about my dad," I replied. "Liz is worried that basically confronting my dad could turn into an ugly argument because Liz thinks my dad might have cheated before Holly."

"Whoa!"

"I know. So I think I'll just make a call and see if I can get him to speak to me. The problem is, he's basically never at the house, and my parents never had one of those answering machines, so I have to call him at work. He doesn't have a direct line, though, which means going through Mrs. Vogel."

"I'm not saying you should, but could you get the girl's number from Information and call the apartment?"

"I could, but I don't think I should. I'll just try calling from school tomorrow at lunch."

"When do you give up?"

"Never. Liz also let me know that my grandpa invited her and Paul to Thanksgiving dinner, but they said they were coming to our place. My grandparents were supposed to go to St. Louis, but I guess that changed because of Mom. I'm going to talk to my grandpa about it and maybe invite Mom to come to our place so my grandparents can go to Missouri."