Chapter 38: Hell of a First Day, Isn't It?

August 31, 1985, McKinley, Ohio

"I was surprised the bishop didn't say anything about your cassock," Elizaveta said as we relaxed with lemonade in the garden outside the cottage.

"He made his point, and in his mind, it's forgiven and forgotten, so long as I don't screw up again."

"So what do you think?"

"I think I'm very glad I'm not a bishop! I would not want to have to deal with the things he has to concern himself about. Not to mention the whole celibacy problem."

"I can see why you would think that was a problem," Elizaveta said flatly.

"Would YOU want to be chaste?"

"No way!" she giggled. "And I shouldn't have used that tone of voice. I'm sorry."

"It's OK, Kitten."

"What was the point of saying he'd approve a 'non-penitential' marriage?"

"There is actually a separate set of prayers for a betrothal and crowning for those who remarry. Strictly speaking, Orthodox Christians are canonically permitted one marriage, and it's for life; not just the life of one spouse, but the life of both. Widows and widowers were expected to remain chaste, as they were already 'one flesh' with someone. The Church, in an exercise of «ekonomia», permits widows and widowers to remarry but uses alternate prayers.

"With regard to divorce, generally, neither spouse was permitted a remarriage after divorce. Over time, the notion that a 'wronged' spouse could be granted permission to remarry became a general agreement, and now, it's up to the bishops to determine who is permitted to marry a second, or possibly third, time. Third marriages are rarely granted, but it has happened in the case of the death of a spouse. Normally, those marriages, even for the 'wronged' spouse, used the alternate prayers. In egregious cases, such as my dad's open adultery, the bishops will often grant the right to someone like my mom to use the normal prayers.

"In modern times, with marriage being a secular event, most bishops will allow a divorced person to have a private crowning ceremony if they have a civil marriage, so long as they are properly reconciled to the church. In the case of someone like my dad, it would be difficult, if not impossible, for him to ever have an Orthodox marriage unless my mom remarried, and even then, it would be extreme «ekonomia» on the part of the bishop."

"Because he more or less rubbed everyone's nose in it and publicly sinned?" Elizaveta asked.

"Yes. While there is no doubt he could repent, confess, and receive absolution, I think you can see how blessing a marriage without a long waiting period could potentially bring all kinds of trouble for the bishop, the priest, and the parish."

"I hadn't even considered any of that; I don't think anyone who was young and married has died at Saint Michael. Do you think your mom would remarry?"

I shrugged, "I have no idea because I never contemplated what would happen after a divorce. I was focused on doing what I could to prevent one."

"What would happen in the case of clergy?"

"There are no possible options other than laicization or lifetime chastity. Clergy aren't permitted to marry in the first place, so a second marriage isn't possible under any circumstances. The «ekonomia» granted by Vladyka ARKADY for me was at the extreme limits, and I was a subdeacon.

"Most bishops don't permit even that, but there is a tradition of that happening on occasion in modern times with the orders of reader and subdeacon being considered minor and, in many cases, falling into disuse. There are relatively few subdeacons and even fewer tonsured readers in the churches in the US. That's not a good thing, but it does give the bishops a bit of leeway to exercise «ekonomia» for the minor orders."

"Can I ask?"

"I don't even want to contemplate it, Kitten. You and I are going to grow old together, with lots of kids and grandkids."

"I saw on the calendar that you have class on Monday. You don't take holidays off?"

"Only Thanksgiving and Christmas," I replied. "If you think about it, hospitals don't close on holidays!"

Elizaveta laughed, "True. I guess I didn't realize that started in medical school."

"And remember, it's very likely that during my first year or two of Residency, I'll end up with shifts on the big holidays so that the more senior people can have those days off."

"You spoke to the bishop about that, right?"

"Yes. He knows I'll likely not be able to be at Nativity services, and I'll likely miss some Holy Week services as well. I'll do my best to trade shifts, but as an Intern or first-year Resident, that's supposedly very difficult. But at least for the next two years, I should be able to serve.

"Holy Week will present the biggest difficulty with the liturgy on Holy Thursday morning and services all day on Holy Friday. We're five weeks off from the West next year, so I'll need to discuss with my professors and the dean about missing classes. Of course, studying that week will be difficult, so I just hope there are no exams. I won't know about that until after Christmas break."

"May I change subjects?"

"Of course."

"I haven't heard you practice the balalaika since our wedding."

"In my copious spare time?" I asked with a silly smile. "Not to mention, the balalaika belongs to Anicka."

"You should get your own, if you're going to practice Lara's Theme for the next concert. We have plenty of wedding money left to spend. I'll take care of getting it."

"You might talk to Anicka or my grandfather about the best place to purchase one here in the US. I've never seen one in any shop here in McKinley."

"OK. You know, I was also thinking that if Joel can sing, he and Milena could sing Endless Love and I could play the piano while you and I sing Up Where We Belong. I'll need to practice, but I have time while you're studying in the evenings. I put my lessons on the calendar. I figured Tuesday afternoons were best based on your schedule."

"I'd say that sounds good."

"What are we doing before Vespers?"

"What would you like to do?"

"I think you know! Drink faster!"

September 1, 1985, McKinley, Ohio

Sunday morning was relatively routine at church, and when Elizaveta and I finished our light lunch, we headed home to relax before our Sunday dinner guests arrived. At Elizaveta's urging, I got out my guitar and played for her for about an hour, which also served as a bit of extra practice for Code Blue.

After I played for her, I played with her, and afterwards, we took a bubble bath together, then showered together. After we dressed, Elizaveta started making dinner while I set up the card table and chairs so we had enough room for eight. It would be a very tight fit, but we would make it work.

"What else do you need me to do?" I asked once I had the tablecloths on the tables and had set out plates, glasses, and flatware.

"I'm nearly done, so just put on some music, please. They'll be here soon."

I went to the living room and turned on the stereo, then thought about what to put on. I briefly thought about Dare to Be Stupid by Weird Al but decided against it and put The Dream of the Blue Turtles by Sting into the CD player. There was a knock at the door and I went to open it, letting Serafima and Elias into the cottage. Elizaveta offered them drinks and while she was getting them, Mark and Alyssa and Nik and Tasha arrived.

"I spoke to the new girl today, Deacon," Serafima said. "She said she's part of your study group."

"Yes. She saw my cassock and decided to talk to me at orientation."

"She seems really nice, though I guess she won't have much time to spend with the young adult group."

"She'll be studying as much as I will, so she won't have much free time. But you and Tasha should encourage her to participate. I'll suggest it, too, as she's going to need some time to relax and forget about school, even if it's only for a few hours at one of your activities."

"We're going to invite anyone who's turned fifteen," Tasha said. "And try to schedule joint activities with Holy Transfiguration at least four times a year."

"I assume you spoke to Father Nicholas about changing it from High School Seniors and college-age kids?" I asked.

"Yes! Otherwise, Matushka couldn't participate!"

We all laughed.

"I hadn't even considered that," I said, chuckling and shaking my head.

"But it makes sense, too," Tasha said. "It's not like things are going to get out of hand or we're going to do anything inappropriate. I'm sure some parents will worry about mixing people in their twenties with teenagers younger than seventeen, but I think it's good for the teens and so does Father Nicholas. I know normally you would be the leader of the young adult group, but that can't happen because of your medical training, so Father is going to ask Johan and Kelly to do it."

They were a married couple who were both around twenty-five and who hadn't started a family.

"What do you have planned, Tasha?" Alyssa asked.

"It's in today's bulletin — a picnic with the group from Holy Transfiguration at Milton Lake on the 21st. Mike, I mean, Deacon, I made sure to invite Liz and Paul, and I'm hoping they'll come. Sasha and Yaroslav will be there with Viktoriya. Invite your study group, if you like."

"It's OK to call me 'Mike' in private, Tasha. I won't be upset. I'm not wearing my cassock. I'll invite the study group, and I'll mention the picnic to Liz when I see her. My mom and Liz are coming to dinner on Thursday."

"How are things with your parents?" Alyssa asked.

"Not good," I replied. "My mom is filing for divorce."

"It's none of my business, I know, but..."

I shook my head, "No gossip. I'm sure there will be enough. All I will say is that she has sufficient grounds. She's going to move in with Liz and Paul in December."

"That entire situation is just so sad," Tasha observed.

"It is," I agreed. "Changing subjects, Mark, Alyssa, how was your first full week at Taft?"

"You were right about there being WAY more homework than we had in High School," Mark said. "I think I was assigned more calculus problems in the first class than I did in a month before! And that doesn't even count physics, chemistry, computers, or English!"

Alyssa laughed, "I just have lots of reading and writing! I don't have any science classes unless I want to take them as electives, and that is NOT happening!"

"What's your major?" Serafima asked.

"Psychology. I want to at least get my Master's so I can do counseling and eventually get a PhD."

"Mark?" Serafima asked.

"Physics, with a goal of doing some kind of research and probably teaching. After talking to Deacon Mike, I'm actually interested in nuclear medicine, which would mean getting a PhD in physics and an MD, but I'd do research rather than be a practicing physician."

"You can do that?" Elias asked.

Mark nodded, "I talked to my advisor and there's a specific course of studies that I could follow. I'd do all the schooling, just like a doctor, then do one year of Internship in a nuclear medicine department to get licensed. Once I was licensed, then I'd work in a lab or hospital or university doing medical research."

"I met a couple of students at the medical school who are going into pure medical research," I said. "They'll do something similar to what Mark just described."

"I thought you were interested in ordination," Nik said.

"I am," Mark replied. "But I don't see any conflict with being a subdeacon and my studies. I don't think I'm called to be a priest, and I understand from Deacon Mike that the norm for the permanent diaconate is either seminary or ordination much later in life. He was an exception, if I understand things."

"Yes," I replied. "A confluence of factors, and with some nudging of the bishop by my grandfather and Elizaveta's dad, Vladyka elected to exercise his authority to deviate from the norm for our synod. He chose to wait until I graduated because he didn't wish to deviate from that requirement and set a bad precedent."

"Why would it be a bad precedent?" Elias asked.

"Requiring the college degree basically sets a minimum age and education requirement for those who don't go to seminary," I replied. "And it's usually only a substitute in specific cases like mine where there is no chance of advancement to the priesthood. It's effectively impossible to be a priest without going to seminary, though I do know of one exception. Personally, I think other factors are more important, but those are the guidelines our synod of bishops established."

"I would think it would be your calling that was most important," Mark replied.

"Me, too," I replied. "And nothing prevents a bishop from ordaining anyone he thinks is qualified. The guidelines are exactly that — guidelines. Vladyka ARKADY chose to follow them. Of course, I also had to marry, as there was no chance on this or any other planet that I would take a lifetime vow of chastity!"

Everyone laughed, though I wasn't surprised that Nik's laugh seemed a bit forced. He was still dealing with the fallout from his honeymoon, though he did seem to be making good progress.

"Not happening here, either!" Elias declared, causing everyone to laugh again.

"Ditto!" Mark added emphatically, causing the third round of laughter.

"Well, now that THAT is decided," Elizaveta smirked, "would anyone like to play Uno before dinner?"

There was consensus, so that's what we did. We had fun playing, then had a very nice meal, and after dessert, our friends left and Elizaveta and I spent a quiet evening together before my first 'real' day of school.

September 2, 1985, McKinley, Ohio

"Good morning. I am Doctor Dennis Nagle, and I'll be your main instructor for Foundations of Medicine. When we go to the anatomy lab, we'll be assisted by Doctor Helen Sparks, a pathologist, and Doctor Nathan Lane, a general surgeon, both from Moore Memorial Hospital. We will be going to the lab today, and I hope you all paid attention to the course syllabus, which was provided with your orientation materials.

"You will not be permitted to enter the lab without appropriate clothing. Scrubs are best, but jeans and long-sleeve shirts are acceptable, so long as what you're wearing doesn't obstruct putting on the aprons when we do dissections. Open-toe shoes are strictly forbidden. Whatever you wear into the lab is going to smell like formaldehyde, so I'd strongly suggest whatever clothes you wear are not meant to be worn elsewhere. You'll need your goggles as well, and long hair will need to be properly tied back or in a bun. Gloves and masks are provided in the lab. If any of you do not have the proper clothing, I strongly suggest you go now to get it, as missing the laboratory orientation will leave you at a severe disadvantage."

I, along with the rest of the study group, had all opted for scrubs, and we had confirmed at breakfast that each of us had everything we'd need. I had to fight not to roll my eyes when about a dozen students got up and left the classroom. No attendance was taken, and our grades would be based solely on exams and lab reports, so they'd, in effect, 'get away with it', at least so long as they managed to get back before we went to the lab.

"One important point about anatomy lab — some percentage of you will become nauseated. There are emesis bags in the lab. Use them, please. If you need to leave the room for the restroom, that will be accommodated. There is no shame in having that reaction to the sights and smells of the anatomy lab. That said, you cannot graduate from this school without successfully completing cadaver dissection. Most people who do become nauseated the first time quickly overcome it. We have had students who did not, and they left the program.

"A final point before we begin our first lecture on gross anatomy is about proper decorum. You will meet your subject cadaver today, and you will treat him or her with the utmost respect and dignity. Each cadaver came to us as a result of someone, either the individual themselves or their family, making a donation to further medical education; your medical education. Please do not disgrace their tremendous contribution with childish, puerile, or immature behavior. It will not be tolerated.

"Each patient, male or female, will have one or two 'modesty' cloths meant to cover their genitals when those areas are not being observed or evaluated. Please use them. On that note, at various points, you'll be called to observe the work of other groups, mostly relating to differences between primary and secondary sex organs but also for abnormalities which are discovered.

"My teaching assistant is now handing out packets with today's lesson procedures and a list of approximately one hundred and fifty medical terms which you'll need to memorize, all relating to external features and structure of the human body. You will be expected to know them and use them starting on Wednesday."

Doctor Nagle continued with a description of basic lab safety procedures, most of which were familiar from the animal dissections we'd done at Taft. Once he completed that part of the lecture, he went to a chalkboard which had an outline of a human body, front and back. He discussed basic note-taking, as well as defined various terms we'd use, such as anterior, posterior, bilateral, medial, and lateral, and indicated them on the body outline. I quickly sketched two outlines in my notebook and wrote down the terms with arrows pointing to the outlines, even though I knew the terms.

The lecture continued until 10:15am, when we took a fifteen-minute break, after which we reassembled in the locker rooms to change clothes. Most students had opted for scrubs, but a few wore blue jeans. After changing, we went to the lab, looked up our table assignments, and went inside.

The smell of formaldehyde was overpowering, and putting on the surgical mask did not help much. Several of my fellow students looked a bit green, and I could understand because the smell had roiled my stomach a bit, though it quickly calmed. I went to the station where the boxes of gloves were and put on a pair of medium gloves, then went to my assigned table, joined by my study group, standing around the metal table with a sheet-draped cadaver.

"I'm not sure I'm ready for this," Maryam whispered.

"Me either," Peter whispered back.