Chapter 27: Peaceful Coexistence

August 1, 1985, McKinley, Ohio

"What did she say?" I asked when Elizaveta came back into the bedroom late on Thursday morning after I'd returned from my golf lesson.

"It's touch and go, and he wouldn't make love with her, but he did sleep in the same bed with her last night."

She took off her robe and got into bed with me and cuddled close.

"I suppose that's a start."

"She's going to see Doctor Mercer again next week, and he didn't try to talk her out of it, but he's not willing to go."

"He's skeptical of mental health professionals the way some of our monastics are," I replied. "Part of that distrust is warranted because of the way the Soviets misuse psychiatry as a way to control dissidents. That really doesn't happen here, but it's hard for many people to see past the way the church is treated in Russia."

"But she doesn't work for the government!" Elizaveta protested.

"I agree with you, but think about what's happened with Angie and how the State of Ohio involved itself and put severe limits on her freedom."

"I hadn't thought about that."

"Me neither, really, until the situation with Nik and Tasha arose."

"Can I ask you how Tasha found out about all those things?"

I chuckled, "There are these big buildings called 'libraries', and in these libraries, they keep things called 'books'. and in these books, you can find information about just about anything, including sex!"

"Seriously?! She went to the library?"

"Yes. Jocelyn actually bought a copy of the book, but she didn't have the concerns that Tasha did about her parents finding the book."

"Why?"

"Jocelyn's parents were OK with us going to Cincinnati together because they were convinced Jocelyn and I were going to get married. Deacon Vasily, on the other hand, would have had a stroke."

"I'm curious; what else was in the book?"

"Threesomes."

"In your dreams!" Elizaveta exclaimed. "That was really in there?"

"Yes, but with a warning about the emotional complexities. There was also some stuff about the things we saw in Amsterdam. But those sections were actually pretty brief. Mostly, it was about what I guess you'd call 'normal' sex, which is what you and I do together. There was some stuff about positions, too, and we've tried a number of them."

"What do you like best?"

"Anything I do with you!"

"No, seriously, Mike."

"I was being serious! I enjoy everything we do, and I believe you do as well."

"I do, but I do really, really like when you lick me. A lot!"

"No! Really?" I teased.

Elizaveta smacked me lightly on the shoulder.

"You're so silly at times!"

"Life is more fun that way, don't you think?"

"As long as it's not overdone. You and Clarissa seem to tease each other a lot and make lots of goofy comments. Was it like that with your sister?"

I shook my head, "No. Liz and I didn't really get along until after I graduated from High School. Before that, the teasing was intended to annoy, not be silly."

"So more like Joe and me, I guess."

"Probably, but also like me and Liz, Joe loves you."

"He sure has a funny way of showing it!"

"I think it's pretty common between brothers and sisters. I'm sure Liz would have said the same thing before I started college. That's when things changed."

"Well, I do NOT have it out of my system!" Elizaveta giggled. "In fact, I'd like you IN my system!"

I was more than happy to oblige, and after we'd made love, we showered, then left the cottage to head to West Monroe for lunch with Jocelyn and Gene. Jocelyn was continuing to do better, and she and Gene were making preparations for the simple wedding they'd have at her Lutheran church. We made it back to McKinley just in time for me to join Viktor for a round of golf and dinner while Elizaveta hung out with her friends.

"How did your round go?" Elizaveta asked when I walked into the house just after 8:00pm.

"About like usual," I said. "Honestly, it's not really my game, but the social time is nice. We played with two of your dad's friends."

"Mr. Franklin and Mr. Sheridan?"

"Yes. I guess he's played with them for years."

"He has. I'm friends with Lola, one of Mr. Sheridan's daughters; she's a grade behind me."

"What did you and the girls from church do?"

"The usual! We went out for pizza and talked about boys, clothes, and makeup!"

"You don't wear makeup! Well, except for fingernail polish."

"But you've seen that my friends do, though mostly just eye shadow and lipstick. You don't prefer makeup, do you?"

I shook my head, "No, I don't. I'm guessing you had more to say about boys than in the past?"

Elizaveta giggled softly, "They might have asked questions I couldn't have answered before the wedding!"

"And did you answer them NOW?" I asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Yes, though with appropriate decorum."

"I can't WAIT to hear about that from Father Nicholas," I replied.

"What?! Why?"

"Because some parent will object to their daughter hearing anything about sex, even if stated appropriately. I'm not telling you not to, by the way, just saying that someone, at some point, will say something about it."

"Right, because giving correct information instead of the gossip in the girls' locker room is such a dangerous thing!"

"Think about Nik; there are plenty of fathers who have that attitude, especially when it comes to their daughters!"

Elizaveta rolled her eyes, "It's not like I suggested they do it! I know the teachings of the Church, and nothing I said went against them!"

"I'm sure, Kitten. But that doesn't mean nobody will object."

"May I say that fathers can be very stupid?"

"Yours isn't," I replied.

"But yours is!"

"Yes, that's true. And you and I both know we have to be on guard not to act like my dad or your mom when we have our own kids."

"I did discover something, though."

"What's that?"

"Johanna isn't NEARLY as experienced as she claimed to be."

"I'm not sure I need to know," I replied.

"Let's just say that if she'd actually done the stuff she implied, she'd know what it's actually like rather than just repeating the inaccurate gossip."

"Then the advice she needs from you is to not lead guys on because that could turn out quite badly."

"You mean what they call 'date rape'?"

"That's basically what I was thinking. I'm not in the business of blaming the victim, but common sense tells me she shouldn't put herself in a dangerous position, which you've implied she does."

"I'm not even sure about that," Elizaveta replied. "I think even that might be her exaggerating to try to seem cool."

"And here I thought it was guys who did that!"

"Did you?"

"Brag about my sex life? No. Clarissa knows most of the girls because she was the one I confided in, and I was positive she'd never, ever break my confidence. But I didn't even talk to Dale much about it in detail, only in the vaguest of ways. And that usually resulted in him telling me I was 'doing college wrong' because I wasn't availing myself of every opportunity."

"Uh-huh."

"I've told you I turned down girls, and during my first year at Taft, there were plenty of opportunities to turn down. Freshman year seems to be when everyone goes a bit crazy, and then they calm down and hit the books."

"But not you?" she asked, sounding skeptical.

"I spent much more time studying than most people did the first year. There were only two girls I met at Taft who I was with during Freshman year."

"So more like Geno than Joe," I guess. "Geno dated a bit during Freshman year, but Joe was like how you imply your friend Dale was."

"Probably."

"So what do I do about the girls?"

"I don't think you did anything wrong, Kitten. I think you just do what you think is right, ensure you stay within the bounds of the teachings of the church, and let Father Nicholas deal with anyone who believes that communicating good information about sex is a problem. I believe he'd much rather the information came from you, who can put it in an Orthodox perspective, than from school, TV, or wherever else the girls might get the information."

"So it's OK to tell them that sex is awesome?" she asked with a smirk.

"Assuming you think it is, yes."

"Want to find out?"

"Absolutely!"

August 4, 1985, Columbus and McKinley, Ohio

On Sunday morning, we were up early and drove to Columbus so I could serve at the Cathedral and learn the intricacies of serving the liturgy as a deacon. I was happy that the usual practice at the Cathedral was to not do Hierarchical Divine Liturgies, which meant that the bishop simply stayed by his throne, wearing a ryassa, rather than vesting and leading the service.

"Good morning, Father Deacon," Protodeacon Seraphim said when we entered the narthex of the Cathedral.

"Good morning," I replied as we exchanged the usual clergy greeting of three alternating kisses on the cheeks.

"Good morning, Matushka," Protodeacon Seraphim said after our clerical embrace.

"Good morning, Father Deacon."

"Matushka Nicole is waiting for you in the small room next to the office. Do you know where that is?"

They'd had lunch on Friday, while I'd had lunch with Clarissa and planned to meet before the services as well. Both would be singing in the Cathedral choir, which was very, very good.

"Yes, I do!" Elizaveta replied.

She left us, and I followed Protodeacon Seraphim into the nave to wait for Father James to arrive so we could say our entrance prayers together.

"You've observed the Proskomide many times, so I suspect you know what to do at each step."

I nodded, "Yes, and I reviewed the Liturgikon last night before bed.

"Then I'll observe and provide guidance as necessary. During the Divine Liturgy, I'll guide you at each step. You've been doing the litanies, so other than you and me splitting those duties, you'll just do as you've done as a subdeacon. You used the censer on Wednesday night and last night, correct?"

"Yes. Father Nicholas gave me some pointers, including suggesting I not try to emulate Father Herman!"

Protodeacon Seraphim laughed softly, "'Fastest censer in the West' as His Grace calls it. Those full-circular swings to change direction always make me think the charcoal is going to fly out of the censer!"

"Inertia," I replied. "It's actually unlikely unless he makes some sort of abrupt movement while the censer is in flight. But I have no intention of finding out!"

"Good! That probably wouldn't make the best impression for your first Divine Liturgy as a deacon!"

"I think I'll stick to the Calvin Coolidge school in that regard — if nobody notices I'm doing my job, then I've done it perfectly."

"Now, if only ALL of our politicians felt that way! But yes, our role is not to attract attention, but to facilitate the worship of God."

Father James came in and we proceeded forward to the iconostasis to perform our entrance prayers. I had my thin, paperback copy of the prayers, which I used to ensure I gave the correct responses as appropriate, though under normal circumstances, they would mostly be given by the most senior deacon, which in this case would have been the protodeacon. Following the prayers, the bishop arrived, so all of us took our vestments to the bishop for his blessing.

We each presented our vestment to the bishop, who blessed it. We each kissed his hand after the blessing, then Protodeacon Seraphim and I fully vested, while Father James vested in his white sticharion, and because we were in the Dormition Fast, his blue epimanikia, epitrachelion, zone, nabedrennik, and palitsa.

"It is good to have you here, Father Deacon Michael," he said.

"Thank you, Vladyka," I replied.

Matins began, and after Father James prayed, I censed the church, then sang the litanies as appropriate. Once the reader and chanters took over, we began the Litany of Preparation, or Proskomide.

The five loaves of prosphora we'd use for the Proskomide, which represented the five loaves Jesus used to feed the multitudes, were set out on the Altar of Prothesis, as was the small pitcher containing sweet altar wine and a cruet containing water. Subdeacon Alexi, who had arrived early, had prepared the censer, which was hanging near the Altar of Prothesis. As the bishop hadn't arrived, we began with me standing next to Father James and Protodeacon Seraphim standing close behind me to offer guidance as necessary.

There were a number of responsorial prayers which I said with Father James as he took up the first loaf.

"Take up, Master," I said.

"For his life is taken up from the earth," Father James responded, cutting the 'Lamb', the center of the first loaf of prosphora, containing the seal 'ICXC' and 'NIKA' around a Greek cross, with the liturgical 'spear'.

"Sacrifice, Master," I continued.

"Sacrificed is the Lamb of God, who taketh away the sin of the world, for the life of the world and its salvation," Father James responded as he cut a cross across the bottom of the 'Lamb' and then placed it on the diskos, or paten.

"Pierce, Master," I said.

Father James pushed the 'spear' into the side of the 'Lamb' and said, "One of the soldiers pierced his side with a spear, and at once there came out blood and water; and he who saw it hath borne witness, and his witness is true."

Next, I poured a bit of water from the cruet into the small pitcher of wine, and Father James blessed it, saying, "Blessed be the union of Thy holy things, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen."

I poured the wine and water from the pitcher into the chalice, saying, "Always, now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen."

Next, Father took a second prosphora loaf, which was offered on behalf of the Theotokos, blessed it, then cut a triangular piece from it and placed it on the diskos next to the lamb. From the third loaf, which was offered on behalf of the Nine Ranks of angels and the ranks of the saints, Father James took nine small particles. From the fourth loaf, offered on behalf of the living, he first took a particle for the Metropolitan, then for the President of the United States and the Governor of Ohio, then for Bishop ARKADY, then for the brother clergy who were celebrating with him. Father took one additional particle for the living, at which point Subdeacon Alexi began reading the names of the members of the parish, which would take him until the end of the Proskomide service.

The fifth and final loaf was offered for the departed, with particles taken for anyone who had died in the past year, for the deceased founders of the Cathedral, and for the deceased clergy. A final particle was offered for all the departed souls who were not named. Finally, retrieving the very first loaf, he offered a final particle for himself, saying, "Remember, O Lord, mine unworthy self, and pardon me every transgression, whether voluntary or involuntary."

I retrieved the censer, added some incense and held it up for Father to bless, which he did. He then took the astericos, or 'star', which had four legs and which was meant to support the covering that would later be placed over the gifts, and held it to the censer.

"The star came to rest over the place where the young child was," he said.

"Let us pray to the Lord," I said.

Father James took the cloth which would cover the astericos, which was blue to match his vestments, and held it to the censer.

"The Lord is King, he is clothed with majesty; the Lord is clothed with strength, and he hath girt himself up. For he established the world which shall not be shaken," he prayed, then draped it over the astericos.

"Let us pray to the Lord. Cover, Master."

Father James now took the blue cloth which would cover the chalice and held it to the censer, saying, "Thy virtue hath covered the heavens, O Christ, and the earth is full of thy praise."

He draped it over the chalice, then took up the aer, a larger cloth which would cover both the chalice and paten.

"Let us pray to the Lord. Shelter, Master."

Father James held the blue aer to the censer and prayed, "Shelter us, O God, in the shelter of thy wings; drive away from us every enemy and foe; make our life peaceful; O Lord have mercy on us and on thy world, and save our souls, for thou art good and lovest mankind, and art a merciful God."

Father James draped the aer over the gifts, then took the censer and used it to bless the gifts, then handed it to me to perform a complete censing of the altar and nave while I quietly recited a lengthy prayer of commemoration followed by Psalm 50. When I finished, I returned to the altar and handed the censer to Subdeacon Alexi. Two acolytes had arrived, so I got the prosphora loaves, put them in a basket, and handed it to the eldest so they could cut the bread for the antidoron.

Father got his «фелонь» (phelon), which was similar to the chasuble used by the Roman Catholics, though, in Russian tradition, it had a high, stiff neck in the back, was open in front from the stomach down, and draped nearly to the floor in the back. He put it on, and a few minutes later, it was time for the Matins Gospel to be read, which I proclaimed after receiving a blessing from the Bishop. There wasn't much left to do for Matins, so I simply stood quietly and prayed.

For the Divine Liturgy, at least for the Liturgy of the Catechumens, I only had a few extra duties over and above what I'd done as a subdeacon — a few prayers became responsorial, and I used the censer. That all changed during the Liturgy of the Faithful when I took my place next to Father James and directly assisted with the anaphora, or 'Eucharist Prayer' as it was known to the Roman Catholics.