Chapter 25: A Potential Disaster of Epic Proportions

July 28, 1985, McKinley, Ohio

For the first time, I received the Eucharist in the altar, not by a spoon, but from the bishop's hand and from the chalice.

"Deacon, draw near," Vladyka ARKADY said quietly when it was my turn.

"Lo, I draw near unto Christ, our immortal King and our God," I replied quietly. "Master, impart unto me, the unworthy Deacon Michael, the precious and all-holy Body of our Lord and God and Savior Jesus Christ, unto remission of my sins and unto life everlasting."

The bishop placed a small portion of the 'lamb', the square section, bearing the seal 'IC-XC' as a box, cut from the center of the prosphora bread, in my hand.

"The precious and all-holy Body of our Lord and God and Savior Jesus Christ is imparted unto thee, the Reverend Deacon Michael, unto remission of thy sins and unto life everlasting."

I kissed the bishop's hand, then moved to the east side of the altar table, where I carefully ate the portion the bishop had provided. I took my place once again and waited until it was my turn to approach the chalice.

"Deacon, draw near," Vladyka ARKADY said quietly.

"Again, I draw near unto Christ, our immortal King and our God," I said quietly. "Master, impart unto me, the unworthy Deacon Michael, the precious and all-holy Blood of our Lord and God and Savior Jesus Christ, unto remission of my sins and unto life everlasting."

"The precious and all-holy Blood of our Lord and God and Savior Jesus Christ is imparted unto thee, the Reverend Deacon Michael, unto remission of thy sins and unto life everlasting."

The bishop held the chalice and gave me three sips, after which I wiped my lips on the red communion cloth.

"Lo, this has touched thy lips and shall take away thine iniquities and cleanse thee of thy sin."

Once I had received from the chalice, Protodeacon Seraphim stepped to the Altar Table, divided the primary chalice into two additional chalices, and then divided the portion of the 'lamb' with the seal 'NI-KA', placing some in each of the three chalices. Once he finished preparing the chalices, it was time to serve the Eucharist to the congregation. It was a very strange experience, as was being in the altar with no restrictions, save reverence and liturgical practice, as to where I could stand, where I could walk, and what I could touch.

And, even more awe-inspiring was Vladyka ARKADY handing me the primary chalice to carry through the Royal Doors to begin serving Eucharist to the congregation. Given the number of people in the nave, both Protodeacon Seraphim and Deacon Vasily brought secondary chalices through the Royal Doors after me, and we stood a bit apart to allow three lines to form.

The Subdeacons and Acolytes came out via the Deacon's Doors to hold the red cloths under the chins of the recipients to ensure no Eucharist was spilled. Normally, the children went first, but the first person in the line in front of me was my wife, with my family behind her. The kids were at the head of the other two lines.

Elizaveta stepped up to the chalice, a big smile on her face.

"The handmaiden of God, Elizaveta, partakes of the precious and all-holy Body and Blood of our Lord and God and Savior Jesus Christ, unto the remission of sins and unto life everlasting."

I very carefully used the long-handled spoon which was in the chalice to scoop a portion of the Eucharist, then carefully tipped it into Elizaveta's up-turned mouth.

"Amen," she said quietly, then kissed the base of the chalice before moving off.

Next came my grandfather and my grandmother, then my mom, my dad, and, to my extreme surprise, my sister. I doubted she had been to confession recently, but that was between her and God and was Father Herman's responsibility, not mine. After my sister, came my godparents and then the Sokolovs.

I noticed that most of the teens and young adults were in my line as well, including Mark and Alyssa, though, but there was one worrying exception — I saw both Nik and Tasha standing in the back of the nave, and neither approached the chalice. As far as I could remember, Tasha hadn't missed receiving the Eucharist since she'd come to Saint Michael and had always partaken at Holy Transfiguration. I pushed that thought aside and finished serving the Eucharist.

When we completed serving the Divine Liturgy, Father Nicholas made a few announcements, the most important one being that elections for the Parish Council would be held in two weeks' time. He also let the congregation know I'd be serving at the Cathedral for three weeks so I could train with Protodeacon Seraphim. After the announcements, the clergy went back into the altar and into the vestry.

"Deacon Michael, I think you can serve Vespers at Saint Michael on Saturdays," Vladyka ARKADY said to me as the clergy removed their vestments. "Just be at the Cathedral on Sunday morning in time for entrance prayers."

"That's right around 7:00am, Father Deacon," Protodeacon Seraphim added. "Please bring your red vestments."

"I will, Father Deacon," I replied.

That was an interesting tradition amongst Orthodox clergy — they always used titles and formal names for each other, except in private circumstances outside the temple proper. Thus, while we were alone, Father Nicholas could call me Michael, or even Mike, if he preferred, but otherwise, he would always address me or refer to me by my title. Even my wife would do that in public.

When we finished removing our vestments, everyone except the subdeacons, who had to fold the bishop's vestments and disassemble his liturgical staff and the trikirion and dikirion, left the altar and went to the parish hall for a reception. There would be a formal clergy dinner with the bishop, to which our wives were invited, hosted by the Sokolovs later in the evening.

"Good afternoon, Father Deacon!" my grandfather declared, rushing up to me as I entered the parish hall.

He'd violated protocol by hugging me and kissing me three times on my cheeks, earning an eye roll from his friend, the bishop, forcing me to fight from laughing out loud.

"Your friend is going to let you get away with the greeting, so it seems," I replied with a grin after the bishop continued into the room and was out of earshot.

"Bah, he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just as I do!" my grandfather laughed. "He is due respect, of course, but I am not one of his clergy to order around like so many army privates!"

"Mikhail," my grandmother warned. "you are not in private."

"And it is not every day that my grandson becomes a deacon of the Church! And I do NOT care who knows I am pleased!"

I received more properly restrained greetings from many others, and after getting a cup of coffee and a bagel, I went to talk to my sister.

"Interesting development," I said with a soft smile.

"Don't read TOO much into it, Mikey!" she smirked. "Oh, sorry Father Deacon!"

"YOU can get away with calling me Mikey in public," I chuckled. "Rumor has it the bishop's sister calls him Timmy!"

"No way!"

"It makes sense, if you think about it. So?"

"It just felt like the thing to do. I actually went to confession, though I'm not really sure it matters, if you know what I mean."

"I do, and I'll say the same thing we hear from Saint John Chrysostom at Pascha every year — even the workers who came at the eleventh hour received their wages in full, and so, too, those who come at the eleventh hour, no matter what their motivation, receive the medicine of immortality."

"Didn't you always say that the chalice would hold poison for those who didn't approach in a proper mindset?"

"Yes..."

Liz was quiet for a second, then smiled, "God meeting me where I am rather than where He wants me to be."

"Exactly. The church is full of stinking sinners, so none of us are actually worthy without God's grace."

"Go circulate!"

"I will. Would you and Paul be available for Thanksgiving dinner at our place?"

"Absolutely!"

"Elizaveta will be in touch with the plans," I replied.

"Thanks, Mikey!"

I left my sister and went to where Angie was sitting with her mom and sat down across from them.

"Hi, Ang," I replied.

"Hi, Father Deacon," she replied.

"You can call me Mike, if you want," I replied.

She smiled, "No, I should call you by your proper title. How was Europe?"

"We had a very good time. How are you doing?"

"OK, I guess. I suppose Doctor Mercer told you how sad I was after your wedding."

"She did, and I'm very sorry."

"It's not your fault," she sighed. "Even if you could change things so you could take care of me the way I want, the government wouldn't let you."

"No, they wouldn't," I agreed.

I felt that Angie blaming the government was a good sign in that she wasn't blaming me or her doctors or her parents.

"Will you and Elizaveta come visit?" she asked.

"Yes, of course," I replied. "Doctor Mercer told me you're going to take Aikidō."

"Yes. There's a club at UC which will let me join. The instructor is a professor who moved here from Japan to teach Oriental studies."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"Thanks for talking to me, Mike, but I know other people want to talk to you, so just come see me."

"I will."

Mrs. Stephens smiled and nodded, and I got up and went over to where Clarissa, Jocelyn, Sophia, Robby, Lee, and my other friends were standing because Elizaveta was holding court with her female friends.

"So, how does it feel?" Robby asked.

"Strange," I replied. "Very, very strange."

"Sophia predicted you would say that. I guess I find that odd because you've more or less been involved in the services for fifteen years."

"Not in this way," I replied. "Before, I was just a helper, so to speak. As a Deacon, I have actual liturgical duties, especially when the bishop is here."

"If you noticed," Sophia said, "the priests basically just stayed out of the way while the bishop and deacons did their thing. The priests represent the bishop, and the bishop is here, so the priests pretty much have nothing to do!"

"So what do we call you?" Gene asked.

"It's OK to call me 'Mike' if you're more comfortable doing that. My only request would be that you use my title here at the church so as not to offend anyone else."

"What do you want to be called?"

"Either my name or title, whichever you're comfortable with. Honestly, it won't offend me if you call me 'Mike'. And I wouldn't expect any of you to use 'Father Deacon' under any circumstances. Well, maybe Sophia, if she wants. Most Orthodox adults will call me either 'Father Deacon' or 'Deacon', sometimes using my full given name, sometimes not. I expect the teens and young adults to refer to me as 'Deacon Mike', and that's fine because I intend to be 'Doctor Mike' when I graduate medical school."

"Not Doctor Loucks?" José asked.

"Mike?" Robby asked with a laugh. "Never! He's very informal, which is why HE is the one who's more uncomfortable with the cassock and titles than most of us are!"

"Except at church or with clergy," Sophia said. "It's the same with him and tradition — at church, it's sacrosanct; in his secular life, he barely tolerates it."

"I do need at least one thing in my life that is stable and unchanging!" I replied.

"Says the guy who ate the same thing for lunch every day for all thirteen years of school we went together!" Jocelyn declared mirthfully.

"I happen to LIKE peanut butter and jelly!" I replied. "Not to mention that meant not worrying about which days were fasting days and which weren't when I made my lunch in the morning! And I like green apples. At least I didn't wear the exact same pair of earrings for ten years!"

"Hey!" she protested. "I liked them! And besides, I had several pairs! You never noticed!"

"Identical pairs," I smirked.

"Argh!" Jocelyn groaned.

"I take it this is what it was like with you two growing up?" Clarissa asked.

"Very much so," I chuckled. "We loved each other to pieces, but we teased each other a lot, too. Well, until High School, and then Jos put the kibosh on it."

"Because Mike and Dale, and later Carl, became obsessed with one thing!"

"And we girls weren't?" Sophia asked with a smirk.

"I told Mike and Elizaveta about something Mark Twain is reported to have said," Clarissa added. "That in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it was only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain."

Everyone laughed.

"That would explain a LOT," Dona agreed.

"Deacon?" Elizaveta said quietly from behind me. "Excuse me, but do you have a moment?"

I excused myself and followed Elizaveta out into the narthex, and then into the small conference room.

"What's wrong," I asked warily.

"Nik and Tasha had some kind of serious problem on their honeymoon. I think you should talk to her."

"Yesterday, that would have been OK; today, I have to refer her to Father Nicholas because it's a pastoral issue."

"Well, I've only been a Matushka for about an hour, but I think you need to talk to her. I don't think Father Nicholas is the right person to handle the problem."

I had a very uneasy feeling about what the 'serious problem' was, and if my suspicions were correct, I wasn't sure there was anyone who was in a good position to handle the situation.

"Is this what I think it is?" I asked.

Elizaveta nodded, "Yes, I suspect so. You really need to talk to Tasha, or rather, she really needs to talk to you, but she can't ask."

"I can't meet with her alone," I replied.

"I know. I think she'll be OK with me being there, given I know everything. But Nik can't know, at least not in advance."

"That's going to be tough to arrange."

"What about lunch tomorrow? We could go to her apartment. She has it until Wednesday. They moved most of her things before the wedding, so she just has some clothes, towels, and that kind of thing there."

"I'm concerned about basically violating the rules on the first full day I'm a deacon, but I don't know of another solution. And I'm going to have to explain it to Father Nicholas in confession at some point."

"What if you're not giving spiritual advice? I mean, she's just talking to you as a friend and former lover?"

"Oh, yes, that will go over SO well with the bishop!"

"But Father knows, right? And you can say, without fibbing, that she spoke to you simply as a friend."

"I could, but it doesn't really work that way. Sure, if Clarissa or Robby or Jocelyn needed advice, I could give it. But Tasha is not only Orthodox but a member of the parish."

"And if Nik asks for a divorce, how is THAT going to go over?"

"Not well," I sighed, "because I don't see how this can be resolved without talking to Nik, which would only complicate the problem."

"Just talk with her, Mike, please? You know she's not going to rat you out, and if you can help her solve the problem, then nobody will know except the four of us."

"It's not about being 'ratted out', per se, but about me confessing. Go ahead and set it up, but I have to be VERY careful about what advice I give her so I can avoid having to talk to Father Nicholas about it."

"Thanks, Mike. I'd kiss you, but I know that's not permitted."

"Later?" I asked.

"All over?"

"Yes!" I readily and happily agreed.

We left the conference room and went back to the parish hall to circulate together, and after about an hour, the bishop left for Father Nicholas' house so he could rest, which meant the rest of us could leave. Elizaveta and I picked up a few gifts which had been given in celebration of my ordination and carried them out to the car. We got in, and I drove home. When we arrived, I elected to take a nap and was asleep seconds after my head hit the pillow. I woke an hour later when Elizaveta tapped my shoulder and called my name.

"You need to get up and shower so we can get to the Sokolovs' for dinner."

"Thanks, Kitten," I replied, stretching.

"Why were you so tired?" she asked, sounding concerned.

"This morning was spiritually exhausting," I replied. "It's nothing to worry about."

I got out of bed and went to the bathroom, with Elizaveta following along.

"How are things with your friends?" I asked as I got into the shower.

"It's a bit strange; suddenly, I'm the leader of the group, and everyone defers to me even though I'm younger than most of the girls!"

"I think you may receive a very different reception from your friends at school who aren't Orthodox."

Elizaveta giggled, "Jealous that I'm not only legally permitted to fuck, but my parents can't interfere with me doing it!"

I chuckled, "You do seem to have a one-track mind, Kitten!"

"Are you complaining?"

"Never!" I replied quickly and firmly.

"I planned to wear my pleated grey skirt tonight along with the light pink blouse. Is that OK?"

"I don't see why not. It's tasteful and modest. I prefer the pink satin underwear!"

Elizaveta giggled, "But only you'll get to see that! And later, when we get home!"

"And your point is?" I asked, getting out of the shower.

Elizaveta handed me a towel so I could dry myself.

"I like that we can be silly together," she said.

"Me, too!"

We went to the bedroom to dress, and I decided on shorts and a lightweight blue T-shirt so I'd be comfortable, then put on my cassock. When Elizaveta was dressed, I put on my ryassa, and we left the house. Ten minutes later, we rang the bell at the Sokolovs' house. Alexey greeted us, as did his wife Yelena. Everyone except Father Nicholas, Matushka Natalya, and the bishop had arrived, and they were expected momentarily. When the bell rang, as was customary, everyone went to the foyer and sang «Τόν Δεσπότην» (Ton Despoton), which was always sung in Greek, no matter which jurisdiction or language was normally used either in the services or at home. The bishop blessed us as we sang.

"«Τόν Δεσπότην καὶ Ἀρχιερέα ἡμῶν, Κύριε φύλαττε, εἰς πολλὰ ἔτη, Δέσποτα! Εἰς πολλὰ ἔτη, Δέσποτα! Εἰς πολλὰ ἔτη, Δέσποτα! Εἰς πολλὰ ἔτη, Δέσποτα!» (Tón Despótin kaí Archieréa imón, Kýrie fýlatte, eis pollá éti, Déspota! Eis pollá éti, Déspota! Eis pollá éti, Déspota! Eis pollá éti, Déspota!)

Preserve, O Lord, our Master and Hierarch; many years to you, Master! Many years to you, Master! Many years to you, Master!

[ A video of the hymn being sung by OCA clergy and chanters: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFuto-SleUE ]

Once we'd properly greeted the bishop, everyone went to the dining room while Mrs. Sokolov and Matushka Nicole brought our dinner from the kitchen. After everything was on the table, the bishop gave his blessing, and everyone began to serve themselves.