Chapter 21: Doctor or Not?

It seemed like only moments later that a hand was on his foot, vigorously shaking it. “Wake up, Agent MacFarlane. We need to take some blood and give you some medication. Then you need to get fitted for your helmet.”

David opened his eyes. He saw a small black woman, who looked to be about 12 years old, wearing a stethoscope and a white coat whose name tag read, “Dr. Neeland”.

“Dr. Neeland, I already have a helmet.”

“How’d you know my name?”

Daid rolled his eyes. “Name tag.”

“Oh!” She looked down at her nametag before continuing. “It’s not a football helmet, it’s a cranial injury helmet. It’s to protect you while your skull heals.”

“I’m sorry, ‘while my skull heals’? What do you mean by that?”

“We believe that skull fractures of the type you suffered will benefit from the protection of a cranial injury helmet to be worn over the next 3-4 weeks”.

David held Del close while he formulated his thoughts. “Let’s go back to the beginning. Hi, I’m Special Agent David MacFarlane. I know I’m in a hospital somewhere in Atlanta. I know I’ve had some kind of a head injury and was airlifted here from somewhere else. The somewhere else bit is a little fuzzy right now. No one has spoken to me regarding my injury yet. I’ve not consciously seen or spoken with a doctor other than you. Dr. Neeland, are you my Attending Physician?”

She looked a bit taken aback. “Well, no, I’m not. Dr. Petersen is your attending.”

“Would you ask him or her to please wait upon me at their convenience?” When David saw her nod her head slightly he immediately said, “Thank you. Perhaps we’ll speak again after I’ve met with this Dr. Petersen.”

Dr. Neeland opened her mouth to say something twice, but then closed it again. She soon turned and left without another word.

“Teach me to do that!” Del said.

“Do what?”

“Dismiss a busybody with authority!”

“Delilah, how old are you?”

“I’m 16. I’ll be 17 in November.”

“Then you’re old enough to stand up for yourself right now. You don’t have to ‘learn it’. You just have to decide that as much respect is required of you, you shall require of others, including adults. The downside of doing this, however, is that you must behave like a responsible adult in order for other adults to treat you like one of them. And you have to make the first move, by first behaving as an adult worthy of respect.”

He licked his dry lips. “Do you know what happened to my motorcycle and duffle bag?”

“The motorcycle is next door to the restaurant, in our garage. Mom had Mr. Dooly push it over there so we could lock it up. That sure is a cool bike, Mr. MacFarlane.”

“I think that since you’re sharing my bed, literally, not metaphorically, you should probably call me David, or you can call me “Coach”. It’s what most of the kids call me back home, anyway.”

“I thought you were some kind’a government agent?”

“I am, but I’m also a volunteer coach at the high school back home. I coach the Women’s Swimming team, and the Women’s Volleyball team. I used to also be the assistant head coach for the mean’s football team, but after we went to state two years in a row, the high school hired a full-time football coach.”

“Don’t you mean the girl’s teams and the boy’s team?”

“Nope. You stopped being merely girls and boys when you went through puberty. 150 years ago, Del, you’d likely be married already and starting a family and running your own household. You’re a woman, not a girl, even though you’re not a legal adult. I even convinced the county school board to officially change the names of the teams from boy’s and girl’s to men’s and women’s teams. I mean, if you qualify to compete in the Olympics, which you can do at age 12, you compete as a man or a woman, not as a boy or a girl.”

“Del, our town is so small, we don’t have a public pool, so the high school swim team practices at my house, where I have a half and half Olympic-sized pool. Half and half means only 4 lanes wide instead of 8, and only 25 meters instead of 50 meters long. They sometimes call it a short course pool. Do you swim?”

Del nodded her head against his chest. “I just joined the swim team this year. Even though I’m gonna be seventeen, I’m only a sophomore. I got held back a year in 2^nd grade because I was so tiny. It’s not fair because I could do all the schoolwork, but that’s what they did. I’ll be19 when I graduate.”

At that moment, the door opened again, and in marched Dr. Neeland, followed by three more doctors in white coats with stethoscopes, a man in suit, and Marybeth Finch, wearing a bright yellow floral sundress with a form-fitting bodice.

Dr. Neeland opened the ball by saying, “Your patient, Dr. Petersen, has been singularly uncooperative, and this is twice now I’ve found him with a young girl in his hospital bed!”

“Hello, Neeland” David replied softly. I see you’ve brought reinforcements. Good for you.”

“That’s Dr. Neeland to you!”

“No, it’s not. Because while you may be a medical practitioner and physician, you’re not actually a doctor, regardless of whatever your silly piece of paper may say.”

“I most certainly AM a doctor!”

“If you are, then pray tell me what completely NEW knowledge or understanding you have contributed to your chosen field of study?”

“What on earth are you prattling on about?”

“Miss Neeland, and I assume it is Miss, the very definition of a “doctor” is someone who has demonstrated mastery of AND contributed something new to a given body of knowledge. It is, in fact, what the word ‘doctor’ actually means. Mastery of a field of knowledge alone is why they give out master’s degrees. Except in medicine. In medicine, they give a paper that says “Doctor”, when in fact it should say ‘Master’. And unlike you, I actually have earned a true doctoral degree in my chosen field. And now, I would like you to leave my room and not come back. You will turn over all your notes and records concerning me and my medical case to the Attending Physician of record and have absolutely nothing to do with it henceforth. Any further involvement on your part WILL result in your being disciplined. Is that clear, Miss Neeland?”

Dr. Neeland looked stunned after David delivered this monologue in a steady calm voice, standing there with her mouth open, turning to look at one of the older physicians who had come in with her.

That physician had stood there listening to the interchange saying nothing but observing carefully. He was a medium size graying man who looked in fit condition and to be around 60 years old. “I’m Dr. Petersen.” He had a twinkle in his eyes. “I happen to be the aforementioned Attending of record. I’ll speak with Dr... Miss Neeland a little later. But I am curious as to your chosen therapy of ... cuddling ... with your alleged assailant.”

“Oh, this therapy’s not for me, Doc, it’s for her!”

“Ah, now I understand. Actualized forgiveness therapy, is it not?”

“Exactly. I’m glad you understand. I want Delilah to have no doubts that she is both forgiven and loved, if only by a stranger she beaned in the head.”

“By the way, Del, what DID you hit me with? I don’t remember.”

Del blushed and tucked her face into his chest. “It was a cast-iron frying pan” she said in a meek voice.