Chapter 16

Epilogue

... wait, you want a denouncement?

UGH!

Fine.

But, like, the story’s over! They got the bad guy, and the evil plot was over. But okay, I guess I can tell you what happened next. Lord Thompson and Sir Starfellow were both taken out before the courts of the law and every single news media publication in not just the British part of the Concert, but every single entire part of the Concert, went absolutely bugfuck. There were angry shouting, furious condemnations, agreements about increased security in certain kinds of technology, exploration of how this evil plan could have gotten so far without people noticing. The two of them weren’t the only ones that had been doing evil shit, they had had allies and partners, who were also rounded up.

So, like, good thing Albert wasn’t in this universe anymore, huh?

Meanwhile, the good guys started to rack up victories too: The Eves and Adams and other machines who had been controlled by the jerkbags had been deprogrammed. Since the intrusive programming had been layered over their brains, they still had their personalities underneath, and were all very happy to be freed.

Also, we went and rescued Amelia, who had managed to limp himself to port. But, like ... I at least got to make out with him a lot, and apologize about getting his ship shot up. And he took me on a few dances, and dates, and “fox hunts” (which was another way of saying me fucking her silly with her hands tied above her head.)

All my machines hugged me like crazy, and I got absolutely pampered...

And that’s kind of the problem now.

Like ... it’s not a problem for me.

For me, it’s fucking awesome! I get everything I ever wanted, I get hugs, I get snuggles, I get pets, I get fucks, and I get to just live my life as I want to be, in a body I adore. I have girls that love me and girls who I love, and we have a nice house, and I get to just ... chart my own course now. It’s fantastic.

But it’s kinda boring, now that the bad guys are gone ... for you.

The reader.

So, like, how do I even wrap this?

I started this story by sticking my head directly into a mysterious glowing orb.

I guess I’ll end it by sticking your head into a glowing orb. But ... this one is ... metaphorical? I guess? So, like, okay, uh ... like, I took a risk, and it changed my life for the better. So, look around yourself. See what is making your saddest, and think about the most radical way to improve your life for the better.

Stick your head into that orb.

Take that leap.

Kiss that girl.

Be yourself.

Okay?

Okay.

You got this.