This is a 750 word story full of mirth and joy. Okay, maybe not. But it is 750 words.

Jan and Nyelta were precocious and inquisitive children. With their unfashionably long blond hair and delicate features, they looked as if they could have stepped out of a commercial for Ikea or Ricola. They were also evil little shits. Their disposition shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone: they came from a long line of evil shits.

The children’s father was still in prison. Rumor had it that the sentencing had to do with cannibalism. Their grandfather was a renowned hunter. That wouldn’t have been an issue if he hunted for food or skins; but no, he hunted the poor and lame from neighboring villages. He learned his skills from his own father and so on back through generations.

Hewing close to the Old Ways, the children had little use for traditional schooling, movies, and television. They did, however, love the internet. It supplemented and refined what they learned from their elders. Runes, appeals to the Eldritch Powers, and blood sacrifices were made more potent by sluicing off the sloppy mastication of hags[a][b] who sucked on the bones of tradition.

There was nothing that the twins hated more than being treated as if they were what they were, children. They grew keen of mind and bold of spirit and decided to upend the apple cart of precedent. The time for the elders was done while Jan and Nyelta’s time was at hand.

In the caves outside their village, they traveled down and down and down some more. The rolling of the bones guided their steps, pausing here and there to determine the next direction. Finally, they came upon a small hot spring that smelled of sulfur. To its side stood a cage of cold iron, its door ajar, and runes covering its bars.

This was what they needed.

All of the family would be in the glen that weekend. There would be rituals, bloodings, and sacrifices. As children, they would again be shunted to the side, not to partake and counted lucky to witness. Well, not this year. This year they would have their own sacrifice that would bring them more power than any of the adults.

They laid their traps and backed slowly from the cage, letting the ethereal whispers tempt and lie in the ears of Powers of the Northern Winds. A Sylph would fill them to overflowing and they would never be looked down upon again.

Friday morning they returned, avoiding the drudgery of chores the elders put upon their shoulders. Others could set up the makeshift camp; Jan and Nyelta had more important things to attend to. Hiking to the caves took much of the day. It was dusk by the time they got down to the hot spring.

He sat in the cage, hands obscuring his face as he stared at the dirt.

Looking at the long white beard and red suit, Jan was the first to speak. “No way!”

His sister whispered back. “It is, Jan. It is him. Think of the power!”

The cookies were gone and the plate was clean of crumbs. Looking up at them with a baleful glare, the elf didn’t seem so jolly.

“You are the ones who sought to capture me?”

“Y ... yes,” Nyelta said.

Jan strode closer. “We’re not afraid of you! We know how this works. You’re ours!”

“Oh, you are definitely going on the Naughty List.”

Santa rose to his feet, towering over the children. He stepped close to the gate that was closed and sealing him in.

“Why, look what I have!” A large red bag was pulled into view from behind him. Reaching in, he took out a golden key. “Looks like it will fit just about any lock.”

It certainly fit that one. The gate swung open, Santa stretched and walked out of the cage. The children’s eyes grew wide with fear.

“Not to worry. I never harm children, even the naughty ones.”

Nyelta put her hand on her brother’s shoulder in relief. The boy smiled. Santa continued, pointing behind them.

“That’s what he’s for.”

Krampus grabbed Jan and bit off his head. Nyelta tried to run but was grabbed and stuffed into the wicker basket with the other bad children.

Again reaching into his red bag, Santa pulled out a large gleaming ax.

“Well, what a wonderful and sharp ax. The elves have been extra good this year!” Eyes narrowing, he looked to the horned creature munching on Jan. “Let’s go say hello to the rest of the family.

“Ho, ho, ho!”

With thanks to Nora for the editing and the Adepts of Alderwood for their feedback. Happy Holidays!