Chapter 19

At first, the depression was mind-numbing. I would sit for hours in front of the cold fireplace or on the porch. Doing nothing, just staring, and remembering. The only times I stirred were to take care of the animals. I could tell that Shadow was concerned about my mood. I also felt that he was confused and hurt that Suzy and Kathy were missing from our lives.

Others came up to the cabin. Paul came up as often as he could. But his visits were short. He had responsibilities and could not babysit me. John Wadsworth was a more frequent visitor. He brought several of his guide groups by and even tried to get me to sign on as a tracker, but I declined every time.

I was stunned when Bruce and Marsha Taggart showed up one day. They had their youngest daughter, Fran, with them. They stayed for a week, and Marsha was unashamed of her mothering of me. I appreciated her efforts and did everything I could to make their visit enjoyable.

I asked about Donny. Bruce chuckled. “Matt, that young man is turning into a real wrangler. He’s working the ranch right now on horseback and doing a damn good job of it too. I’m sure that he’ll be taking over in no time.”

“What about Carl and Amber? What are they up to?”

It was Marsha’s turn then. “Well, Carl is off to Farriers school. And Amber is staying at the ranch, keeping an eye on things. I think she’s got a young man in Cody that she’s got her eye on.”

Once Marsha saw what my recent diet had been like, she took over the kitchen, and I was happy to say that I gained a few pounds because of it.

Fran, meanwhile, was hardly around. She would disappear soon after breakfast and not reappear until suppertime. She explained that she was exploring. I could see the same fascination with the backcountry I’d had years ago. Thinking about that started another short-lived bout of depression.

It got worse when we trekked over to the landslide. I could not refuse them. They wanted to pay their respects, and they had that right. It hurt, but not for the reasons they assumed.

But as with all things, their visit had to end. They packed up, and with a tear-filled goodbye, they departed.

Following their visit, my depression did not return with the same force as before. I started working more on the cabin and the outbuildings. Do not mistake me, the depression was still there, but I now recognized that my life had to go on. I owed it to certain people.

When the weather started getting chilly and the wind whistling through the treetops, I knew I needed to take a supply trip to Elk City.

The trip was a good one. The weather, while crisp, was pleasant. When I arrived at Elk City, I turned Margarite and Jughead loose in Mables’s pasture and headed to the diner.

I was not surprised by the welcome that Mable and the other regulars gave me. What surprised me was that Mable was seated at the register while Tina Draper ran the tables and counter.

“What’s the deal, Mable? Taking a break?”

“Yeah, between my bunions and the damned arthritis, I can’t really sling hash like in my younger days. That’s why I’ve got the kid running plates.” She lowered her voice and leaned closer to me. “Don’t say anything, but she’s doing a damned good job of it too.” Leaning back, she gave me a big grin.

Then she gasped and said, “I almost forgot. You’ve got a postcard here.” She hit ‘No sale’ on the register and pulled the cash drawer out. She rummaged around for a moment and then pulled out a postcard.

There was no message, but a picture of the St. Louis arch was on the front. The caption was, “Wish you were here.” I double-checked the postmark. It had been mailed from St. Louis.

“Who’s it from, Matt?”

“Not a clue Mable. Probably some fan.” I tucked the card into my pocket.

I was finishing my cheeseburger when Paul came into the diner. He quickly scanned the room and then sat next to me. “Well, if it isn’t the missing child. How’s it going, Matt? Long time no see.”