Chapter 99

She waved a hand at the Spad.

“Not yard art,” I said. “Flies.”

“Who is the pilot?”

“Me.”

To forestall the ‘your kidding’, I presented Elif the wallet size card issued to me by the Princess.

“Cracker Jack box?”

I took her into the home, seated her at the dining table, fetched my ‘Amelia’ jacket and fished the packet out of the inner pocket. The packet was still tied with a tattered ribbon ... it used to be pink. Now, it’s just dirty.

So the unfolding began, there were consequences.

Thank the gods for duct tape. Folded and creased tanned goatskin tears easily. The repairs are a demonstration of the number of times I have heard, “Prove it.”

After the new repairs, she started reading. Elif is a ‘finger’ reader ... she touched every signature and seal.

Finally, she said, “This is for real.” Not a question. “Number Nine. Signed by the Princess.” Again ... a statement. “You’ve met the Ruler of the Princessapality.”

“Hi, I’m Junior. Let’s get this show on the road ... Oh do get up. Tyche, fetch some water ... iced if you have it.”

I do ... but I’m not giving up my iced tea. I filled a tumbler at the sink.

“Oh no, Tyke. My responsibility. I should have knocked. Besides ... why should you have all the fun ... hmm?” She chortled.

During the splash I was in the bath getting warm towels off my heated hangers.

Junior has superior aim. I would have splashed the furniture.

A wet Elif spluttered.

I handed her a warm dry towel ... and another ... and my hair dryer.

The paint on the first towel was muddied ... the second ... Elif cleans up nicely. I had to change my guess at her age. Seventeen at the outside.

“Welcome back, Elif Van Oordt,” Junior said it.

“Your Highness.” She struggled to stand.

Junior extended a hand.

“Nope ... Junior ... I don’t react well to other names. It’s not what We are used to,” she said. “Tyche, who among us is her size? ... Ah ... Two! Two! Attend Us.”

Two lives with me.

“Hi, Junior.”

“This is Elif Van Oordt. Some sort of accident has wetted her. Have ... no ... you have clothes her size. Dress her ... strenuous exercise ... dance lessons.” Imperious decree. She spoiled it by, “Thank you.”

Two and Elif chatted while going to the back. It’s a hike to the back of the west side home.

(40 by 12 by 10 equals 4,800 cubic feet ... two of them end to end makes for a long narrow shed ... and 9 thousand 6 hundred cubic feet of enclosed space. Erect a clear span cover on parallel sets of containers big enough to park and turn a Sandy ... yeah ... big. Lots of reenforced concrete ... enormous canvas roof.)

(Before we get too far ... did anyone else notice the Royal We and Us. Junior is coming into her own.)

Elif was the only guest who came by the Bud Field entrance. Everyone else came by river canoe or Imperial to Lorado and parked in the woods.

By the time of the dance lesson, Two’s lurid four color Circus style posting on the Union bulletin board and internet site ... and word of mouth at the University meant there were over two hundred assorted people wanting to learn ALL the tricks showed up at my home. A very few actually had seen the movie ... but ... any excuse for a party.

People brought food, beverages, chairs and ... toys researched online.

I had room.

A call to Porta Potty and I had shitters.

CLANG

CLANG CLANG CLANG

“Lets do the TIME WARP AGAIN.”

Pandemonium!

It’s astounding, time is fleeting
Madness takes its toll
But listen closely, not for very much longer
I’ve got to keep control
I remember doing the time warp
Drinking those moments when
The blackness would hit me And the void would be calling
Let’s do the time warp again
Let’s do the time warp again
It’s just a jump to the left
And then a step to the right
put your hands on your hips
You bring your knees in tight
But it’s the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane
Let’s do the time warp again!
Let’s do the time warp again!

Repeat. Over and over again and again ... until everyone got it right.

I called the police station. They put me in touch with my date.

“I’m ready. Movie is my choice, right? ... right?”