Chapter 81

Well ... he seems like a nice guy, I wonder...

“Why do you let her boss you around?” Jimmy, the nice guy, said.

“Respect for my elders,” I said ... and kept a straight face saying it.

“She’s what... 23?”

“Seventeen,” I said.

Jimmy did a double ... almost tripped over a stray paddle ... and then looked at me. The look was ‘Don’t go down into the basement.’

“If she’s your elder ... and just seventeen ... how old are you?”

“Sixteen ... and a couple of weeks, she’ll be 18 in six months.”

“Oh lord ... Bobby is 25,” Jimmy said. He hadn’t volunteered his age ... yet.

“She mentioned she likes older guys ... they have more experience,” I said. “On the other hand ... I don’t have any experience.”

“May I be frank?”

“Sure,” I said, “Frank.”

“Ya know, one of the reasons I like having you around?”

“What?”

“You’re a nut ... certifiable.”

“What are the other reasons?”

“Like I said, frank ... you’re possibly the most beautiful girl in the world.”

“Possibly?”

“My statistical base is limited.”

“Ah ... you haven’t met EVERY girl in the world.”

“Yup.”

“Any thing else?”

“Your voice reeks of unrequited lust.”

“And...?”

“You always look like you just got out of bed with your lover.”

“I look like my grandmother and SHE ... drove the male population of western Virginia bonkers. I look like My aunts, too.”

“Aunts? As in plural?”

“Triplets ... two girls and a boy.” I said, “Say, my Auntie Surprise is teaching at the University ... she’s living on campus. Go to Faculty Housing and ask for Surprise Me Flintkote ... you might like her.

“Although ... Surprise is Old ... she must be in her ... hold on ... good lord ... she must be 35 ... she might be too old for you.”

Too late ... I heard the 302 powered Volvo come over the hill and navigate its way to the hangar. One thing for sure ... I’d have never slept through the door slam.

Fairly soon ... too soon ... Auntie Mom and Two found me.

Two said, “See ... there she is.”

“Tyche?”

“Yes, mom?”

And both men heard that voice ... just like mine ... only older and more experienced ... a deeper throb and longing. They turned ... and totally forgot I was standing there ... Alice was instantly abandoned, too.

“May we be of some service?” Like twins.

Two is a man magnet and Auntie Surprise ... well ... yup.

Two spun and that impossible hair somehow was unbraided, loosed and the morning sun haloed it.

“Why, yes, boys. We’d like lessons.”