Chapter 41

“Very funny, mom.” Ooo ... the sarcasm.

“So ... how long can I stay?”

“The University wants to test me,” Alice said.

“No mom, at the Testing Center ... not at the Health Center.”

“I’m already on the pill...”

“OOPS!”

“Of course you didn’t know.”

“Students have rights ... privacy is one of them.”

“It’s the Princessapality.”

“Ask Junior.”

“She’s the princess.”

“No mom ... not for two years.”

“She hung up,” Alice looked shocked. “Tyche ... she hung up. She’s never done that before.” Alice looked like she was about to cry. I hugged her.

My phone rang. I have a private number.

“Who is this?”

“Hello, Mrs. Olsen.”

“Mrs. Olsen ... how did you get this number?”

I glared at Alice.

“I DID NOT lead your daughter astray ... she did it on her own self.”

“Mrs. Olsen...”

“Mrs. Olsen...”

“Marjory ... SHUT UP!”

“I am intact!”

“Mrs. Olsen ... how old were you when you...”

“I know it’s none of my business ... but ... You hung your marriage certificate on the wall in the den ... and I can add.”

“Seven months between license and birth of twins...”

“She hung up ... Alice ... your mother hung up.”

Alice wasn’t interested in the hang-up. She said, “Seven months? Mom was pregnant? She had to get married?”

Then she said, “Ya know ... mom looks like she might be thirty ... and IF she is ... I’m 16...”

“Alice ... don’t go there.”

“Alice!”

“Tyche ... shut it...”. Alice turned to the Dean of Women. “Does the computer ... never mind ... I’ll check it myself.”

And she did ... she vaulted the counter and sat at the keyboard, typing.

“Ah hah! She’s 33 ... pregnant at 16. I, at least, aren’t ... pregnant.”

She typed in a number ... it rang... “Mrs. Olsen. You are not Holier than Thou ... I am not pregnant at 16. I’m staying ... age of consent.”

I leaped the counter and disconnected. “Alice ... don’t say anything you’ll regret later.”

Four or five minutes later ... her phone rang.