Chapter 2: Rigor Mortis

Everything was dark, not completely though, he could see shifts of light behind his eyes so he knew when the light in his room was switched on and off.

His consciousness came and went in waves, drifting in and out on unfathomable tides. He sank and surfaced at the whim of forces he couldn’t even begin to comprehend. All he could do was ride with them and hope that it wouldn’t be like this forever.

He had no feelings which didn’t help with his sense of time either, so he could not determine how long he would be in this state for. It felt, almost as if he were floating, like he was on a puffy white cloud. Floating in that murkiness, James slept a lot. Or at least he thought he did. Gradually, he became a bit more aware of something outside his thoughts. He couldn’t see or feel per se, but he got the sensation of static ... as if his ears were stuffed with cotton. He gradually became aware of sounds, occasional noises, and voices. He particularly liked the voices--almost all of them women’s, he thought.

It was like he was swimming, when under water, bits and pieces managed to get through and suddenly, as he surfaced, gasping for air, he was suddenly able to breath.

So he was aware of someone entering the room, the person, female from the tone of her breathing and the lightness of her step, walked in and closed the door with a click. Another click, signified the locking of the door.

‘It’s a hospital,’ he mused, ‘why would she need to lock it?’

“Good morning Mr. Smith.”

‘Hello,’ James thought, he couldn’t even speak yet, let alone sit up and have a conversation with him, but he figured that wasn’t the point. The point was, she was having a conversation with him so that if he was aware, which he was, he wouldn’t be quite so bored.

“How are we today?”

‘Good,’ he mentally chuckled.

“Me, not so much.”

‘Why?’

“Well,” she shrugged, he could hear it. “My husband’s being a dick again.”

‘Oh?’

“What an asshole,” she shook her head. “I know I’m not a beauty queen but I’m good in bed and my blow jobs are to die for.”

‘Curious,’ he mused.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “I smelt perfume on his clothing, he thought I couldn’t tell but as soon as I watched his shirt I caught a whiff of it. Idiot, and yet, he still expects me to be at home and have dinner ready for him.

‘What a dick,’ James thought. ‘On that note, if I do ever cheat, I’m washing my clothes beforehand. Might be wise to locate a twenty four hour laundry service.’

He snickered at that thought.

First he needed to get out of hospital.

“I washed his clothing,” she continued, “But revenge is a dish best served cold.”

‘Oh?’

“I put itching powder in his underwear,” James’ mind went blank at the thought. “When his whore comes to suck him off, she’ll think twice about it when she sees him scratching his balls.”

James burst into laughter.

“He asked me about it,” she said. “I told him it was a change in the soap powder.”

James couldn’t stop laughing, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, nice - he’d have to remember that one.

James tagged her as Lips.

Justification for the name, was the fact that she seemed to like to talk, although she didn’t sound to happy though, he supposed she used him to vent.

At least she would get to hear the answer she wanted.

Lips’s husband was called Tom, they had been married for 12 years. James knew this because from one snippet that he could remember, Tom had apparently gone out with his friends to the local sports bar and forgotten their 12th anniversary.

He heard sheets being pulled.

“Speaking of ‘shitty’, we need to change your diaper.”

What the fuck? What do you mean ‘my diaper’? James thought that they used catheters on people in hospitals. That’s what they showed on TV shows and movies, right? Bloody hell! Hollywood’s fucked it up again!

He could hear something rolling above him, then some clicks and a winding sound. He heard the rip of what must have been resealable tape on the diaper.

“There we go. Let’s wash this piss and shit off, shall we?”

James cringed at the thought. Sorry, Lips. It must really suck having deal with a cheating husband, then have to go to work to change the diapers of some teenage boy in a coma.

For a while, there was the alternating sound of splashing and some sort of wet cloth being wiped across a surface. As an adult man, James couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. I guess that she really is wiping my ass.

“There we go ... Now let’s take care of that morning wood.”

What? What do you mean, ‘take care of it’?

There was a regular tempo of ‘slishing’ and sucking sounds for what seems like several minutes. “Mm, hmm ... you’ve got such a lovely piece of meat. It puts my dickhead husband’s to shame.”

Is she doing what I think she’s doing? Holy shit! Man, it sucks to not feel anything.

“Well, you certainly are building up your endurance. Well, I know how to take care of that! We’ll just stick my finger in your rectum and ... rub your prostate gland. Uh, huh, there we go. I can see your nice heavy balls drawing up now.”

Man, she’s something else! Why the hell would her husband cheat on her?

James heard the wet sound of sucking again. Oh, man! I really wish that I could feel what she’s doing...

Suddenly, he heard the sound of rapid swallowing for a few seconds before he heard ‘Lips’ pull off with a final suck.

“Whew! Delicious as always, Mr. Smith.” There was the sound of some wiping. “ ... And there we go, all nice, clean, and dry. Yes, I know you’re still hard, poor baby, but you know the rules. Just one a day or I’d be tempted to do a lot more than clean your wick.”

‘Oh fucking hell! If there’s any justice in this world... ‘ James complained before he fell asleep again. The next time he woke, he heard someone else open the door and push another wheeled cart inside.

He still couldn’t move, but was getting the odd spark here and there, frowning, he tried to move his fingers and gave up from the exertion.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Smith! Why are you still in bed? It’s a wonderful day outside!” She continued exhorting him as she positioned something by his bed. “It’s nice and cool, and without a drop of rain in sight.”

This one he tagged as ‘Happy,’ because she was nowhere near as loquacious as Lips, but even more cheerful.

‘Sorry, Happy. I had a late night bender with the boys and I’m not feeling up to it’. James mentally joked.

“It’s lunch time, lazy bones. And here is your favorite flavor, vanilla!”

‘Damn it, that isn’t my favorite flavor and you know it. Isn’t there any chocolate?’

James could hear what sounded like a lift-top can opening. Ah, it must be some sort of liquid food, like baby formula. There some other sounds that James couldn’t identify including, perhaps the liquid being poured into a bag.

“And let’s set the pump ... and there we go!” A very small electric pump started running. It was so quiet that it would be easy to miss amongst the low background noise of the hospital.

‘Hmm, as I guessed, they’re feeding me through a tube’.

James was very familiar with tube feeding, having lived off of a tube for the last years of his previous life. It probably hadn’t changed very much over the decades, beyond becoming more automated. It probably seemed a bit primitive to have to manual start each feeding, but there was a comforting aspect with having some sort of human presence nearby, even if James couldn’t interact.

“And while we’re here, let’s check your diaper...” There was the tearing sound of the resealable tape being pulled away.

‘Ah, hell. I’m going to have nightmares about wearing giant baby diapers.’

“You’re such a big boy, aren’t you? You’re just getting bigger and bigger every day. At this rate, we’ll have to get you a bigger bed before too long.”

James wanted to cringe at the baby-talk. ‘Happy, I might be in a coma, but I haven’t regressed to infancy.’

“Well, let’s go ahead and change you, first. We wouldn’t our little angel to get diaper rash.”

James mentally groaned at her ‘little angel’ comment. Leave a guy some dignity, won’t you? Please?

There was some rolling above him and then some winding. James heard the splashing and wiping of a sponge bath.

I’m definitely going to have nightmares about this. This sucks!

The washing noises eventually stopped ... to be replaced with sucking and ‘slishing’ sounds.

‘What the heck? Is she doing that as well? Damn it, I’d classify this as hell, because apparently I’m getting more action now than I’ve had in the last forty years of my previous life, but I can’t see or feel any of it!’

“Mmmph!” Eventually ‘Happy’ made some decidedly satisfied, swallowing sounds, followed by some licking. “Baby, your milk is so deliciously yummy, I’m just so glad that you don’t mind me drinking so much of it. Maybe if I have time, I’ll come by and have some more. You wouldn’t mind that, would you?”

‘Noooo, ma’am!’ James agreed. ‘I wouldn’t mind that at all! I just wish that I could see and feel what you ladies are doing to me.’

Happy finished with some cleaning noises and taping down his fresh, clean diaper. He could also hear her open some cabinets, probably to check supplies. James fell asleep listening to the bustle of her work and wondering what sort of extraordinary things had passed since he entered this body.

James awoke to someone bustling into the room, as if in a rush.

“I’m so sorry that I’m late, Sweety!”

James wanted to smile at the apology. That’s okay Sugar.

“One of the children, Sally, was feeling particularly sad because her parents called and said that they couldn’t it make it for her birthday today. They only have one car and her father had to work late at the plant, so I stayed and had a caterer bring in a birthday cake for her.” James heard a rubbery squeaking sound. “I asked for a clown, but they said that they couldn’t do it on such short notice, even when I told them it was for a child in oncology.”