Epigraph

And so you keep the wonderful memories,
but find yourself moving on.

Nicholas Sparks

“So,” Alison asked, as she and Dan escorted Laura from her room, “how do you feel after all the rehab?”

The attending nurses waved goodbye, wishing her luck. Unfortunately, she was concentrating so much on the walking, she couldn’t really respond other than a few grimacing nods.

“At least I’m moving, but I’m still pretty stiff. I spent a long time lying flat on my back, and thought I’d be happy getting out, but ... it almost feels like someone else’s body.”

“That’s not just being in the hospital for so long,” Dan advised. “It’s typical after near-death experiences.”

“But...”

“No,” he clarified, “you nearly had one before, but we stopped you, and its different when viewed from either end. However, the transition itself dramatically changes you. Despite having experienced it several times, I’m dealing with it again.”

She studied him. “So will it improve, or will I always feel like this?”

“No, it definitely gets better, but the feeling never completely vanishes. Instead, you feel caught between two separate worlds, never feeling completely comfortable in either one.”

“Isn’t that what you’ve both been dealing with?” Alison offered. “She’s never been quite the same since those last couple times on the other side.”

“No, like he said, it’s worse now. Before, I felt comfortable because I felt so welcome there. I doubt it’ll ever feel quite so familiar now. Now I feel like I’m living on borrowed time, housed in this body, but not quite belonging here.”

“Still, he said it gets better the longer you continue.”

“He also said—”

“So, now you’re like Dan.” She chided. “You’ll always feel like an outsider, ill at ease in your own skin or with those around you. However, he can help you deal with it, and my job now includes pulling you both out of your shell to begin living again. But more than anything, you need to reconnect with you family. Because, trust me, they’ll notice the difference, and it’ll affect both them and all of your relationships moving forward.”

“It already has. The kids and Leon have trouble speaking to me, unsure where my mind is and whether I’m still the person they knew.”

“You know what Dan was like when we first met: constantly challenging everyone and pushing them away. But you also know how much he changed once he felt comfortable and trusted someone. We’ll get you through this.”

“Maybe,” she countered, “but what about him? How’s he doing?”

Alison readily took her up on the challenge. “That’s a good question, Dan. Rather than celebrating a victory, you’ve been more remote than usual. How are you coping?”

“Actually, I’m doing quite well. The ceaseless voices asking for my assistance are gone. I don’t know for how long, but they’ve finally granted me my life again. And while I’ve mostly contemplated my existence once again, it’s not the same. In fact, while visiting you, Laura, I casually mentioned how I’ve been spending time visiting the various parks. Leon asked which one, and he and the kids showed up the next day.”

“I can imagine how well that went over,” Alison said, rolling her eyes.

“Not as bad as you think. Adam and Peter have changed. They’ve witnessed what death is like watching Laura and it’s affected them.”

“We now meet regularly, whenever they return from visiting you. They’re quiet, reserved and thoughtful. Rather than the usual horseplay, we mostly sit, observing and cherishing everything around us. That includes Leon, and it’s not in deference to me, as we’ll at peace during those moments, with little nervous fidgeting.”

They’d paused several times on the way out to provide Laura a break. While normally patients were required to leave in wheelchairs, her doctor wanted her to walk as much as possible—especially when accompanied by people to support and encourage her.

It was to give her time to rest, regain her strength and recommit—she was nothing but determined to overcome her adversities. But now, they’d both stopped, captivated by Dan’s revelations, even as nurses, patients and their families streamed past, never taking their eyes off him.

“And when we talk—mostly about you or those private moments we shared—they ask genuinely probing, inquisitive questions. They’re more introspective now, not like I was. When we’re done, we still play like we used to, and they seem more alive than ever. They’re ... thankful and truly appreciate every waking moment—especially those spent with you, Laura.

“Leon’s also mentioned they’re like that most of the time. Around the house, outside on the street, even in school. Their teachers ask how they’re coping, and he assures them they’re doing fine. Rather than playing ball with the other kids, they tend to walk, just like we did. It’s not that they no longer appreciate their friends, but those friends just haven’t experienced what they have. They aren’t as appreciative of those experiences, and don’t see the wonders surrounding them that they do.

“By revealing what you did with them, even without specifying the details, they’ve glimpsed something very few children have. And luckily, they weren’t traumatized by the experience.” He chuckled. “You should see when they encountered older people sitting on the park benches. They readily talk, pulling them from their shells. Because those people, through their own struggles, have a greater view of the fragility of life. They’re especially wonderful with anyone who’s suffered a recent lost. They no longer dream of being baseball phenomena, they’re now examining careers in counseling, actively discussion religious concepts and are seriously considering how they can help the most people.”

“Wow!” Laura exclaimed. “Talk about being unobservant. I’ve been worried about them, but never noticed any of that.”

“Me neither,” Laura confessed. “I mean, they’re continually asking me what it was like—especially my adventures in the spiritual realm—but ... I was reluctant to discuss it, not wanting to scare down.”

“Trust me, those kids are probably the healthiest I’ve ever met. They’ve faced adversity head on and having come out with their mother intact, they’re incredibly thankful for every moment. And when they’re not with me, Leon says those discussions continue between them. They are even more probing. While they’re reluctant to press, they ask him all the questions they’re afraid to discuss with us. Questions like what it all means, asking about both of your religious beliefs, and more precisely, how they’ve evolved. You should be proud of those boys, but this has been a powerful, instructive event in their lives, and will flavor their entire lives moving forward.

“Leon even admits that rather than playing with the other boys, they’re spending time with their female classmates, not trying to put the moves on them but asking equally penetrating questions about their lives. They aren’t quite as forthcoming with them, but supposedly, they don’t hide what they’ve been through either.”

Dan finally got them moving again, as each was reexamining their own assumptions and reevaluating their previous observations. They mostly walked in silence, though they both responded when the various doctors or nurses wished Laura good luck.

She was moving more steadily now, as if gaining her second—or thirteenth wind—as her determination was apparent in her walk, her eyes focused and her mouth locked in concentration. Rather than struggling, unsure of her future, she knew where she needed to be, and what she needed to do.

Dan hesitated, looking apologetic. “Pardon me, I’ve got to make a short pit stop.”

Though they both glared, Alison had a firm grip on Laura’s arm, she he turned and entered someone’s private room. Though the door was open, the curtain around the bed was drawn.

Intrigued, Laura edged forward so they could both observe. He reached through the curtain, surprising he patient, who gasped, drawing back, giving Dan time to grab the needle and drug paraphilia he’d prepared.

“Sorry, but this was laced with ... something. If you took it, you’d be dead in minutes. I’ll turn it over to the police, without revealing where it came from. With luck, they’ll announce what it was laced with. But you can’t allow your parents to return to find your body without at least saying your goodbye. That’s ... beyond cruel, and would haunt the rest of their lives.”

“Who the—”

“This is what he does,” Laura advised, chuckling softly. “Accept it and be thankful for your second chance.”

“The police will likely want to know where it came from. Can I tell them—assuming they promise not to file charges—so they can prevent other deaths. If not, you can tell me, so we can bypass your involvement.”

“It’s from my usual source, and he’s always been reliable.”

“Fine, I’ll see you in another couple days,” he said, slowly backing away. “I know it’s a long time to wait, but trust me, it’s worth it. There’s more than just your life at stake here.”

The poor kid seemed baffled, unsure how to respond, so Dan and the others continued on their walk.

“So, I’m guessing you can still communicate when needed,” Laura ventured.

“I still do what I need to,” he assured them. “But I don’t like presuming anything, and they’re not as presumptuous as they once were. It’s a nice compromise, and we’ll see how long it remains, but...”

As they passed through the lobby, Dan stepped aside as his companions waited, and delivered his little drug raid to the shocked receptionist.

“If you could be a dear and turn this over to the police for me.” He handed her his business card. “Ask for Detective Araceli. We’ve been working together and he’ll know how to deal with it, but it’s contaminated with something. So, once they determine it, we can proceed.”

The poor receptionist hurriedly removed it from the counter, struggling to find somewhere to secure it, her eyes wide as she studied him, possibly memorizing his features.

When they finally exited the hospital, Laura walking confidently, Peter and Adam scampered from their father’s van, hugging their mother tight before immediately stepping back and asking how she was feeling. Ignoring their words, she clutched them tight, as they made their way the short distance to the vehicle and eventually home.

Rather than stopping to talk, Laura walked around to the front passenger seat of her own volition, settled herself and buckled in before smiling at her ex-husband, her eyes awash with love. “Let’s go home, Leon. I’ve been gone for much too long.”

Rather than starting the vehicle, he studied her. “Uh ... which home?”

“At this point, either. I’ll need to start acclimating myself to my own apartment, but it doesn’t matter whether I do that today, tomorrow or next week.”

Starting the car, Lean turned and flashed Dan a thumbs-up sign, grinning joyously, before slowly pulling out into traffic.

“So where does that leave us?” Alison asked, turning to kiss Dan for both women. “As you know, my cars in the employee parking lot.”

“Luckily, you aren’t charged hourly.” He leaned in, kissing her tenderly and holding it before pulling back and staring into her eyes. “Personally, I’d rather walk. Not to consider the nature of the world, but to honestly converse, describe your experiences, and share your thoughts. As you’ve observed, I’ve been much too self-absorbed, not just with myself, but with everything we’ve been through.

“It’s time we got to know each other. And while I trust Laura’s going to be busy reconnecting, you need just as much time as she does. She’s finally on the right track, but you’ve been holding just as much in all this time. It’s time for you to explore your life and reflect on what’s changed and what remains intact after the emotional carnage.”