A couple are lying together after a vigorous bout of sex...

Him: “My dear wife, I was wondering how many male organs have visited this place I just had such a good time in?”

Her: “Oh honey! That’s a hell of a question to ask a woman whose been screwing for 40 years. Why would you even want to know?”

Him: “I don’t know. It was just a passing thought. Some silly male curiosity, I guess. Men do wonder about such things, in case you didn’t know. I realize it’s all in the past, like yesterday’s meal, but history is a fact. I love you for who you are, but who you are is also what you’ve done. Does that make sense?”

Her: “Yes, I can see that. I don’t mind telling you, but for that many years it’s hard to remember with a lot of details. Many were like an average meal and not memorable but I’ll share things as I recall them if that’s OK?”

Him: “I can’t ask more than that. What come to mind?”

Her: “Just a vague guess, there must be more than a hundred.”

Him: “No shit!”

Her: “That’s probably low. Now that I think about it that’s less than three new cocks a year. Seems way low to me. Maybe I should have said 300? You of all people, know how much I like sex. Some years I stuck with a few guys, like since we’ve been married, but there were other phases where I got lots, like those college orgies I told you about. And the times I escorted to pay the bills.”

Him: “Good point. OK, I’ll accept that.”

Her: “You’ve got me thinking now. Let’s figure how many times I’ve been laid. I’ve been a horny chick ever since I started. Hell, I’ve often screwed right through my periods. No babies to interrupt either. So, if we figure an average of once a day, and that’s real low in some phases of my life, that’s 365 times forty equals 14,600. It’s extremely rare that a cock that gets in me doesn’t shoot, and two or three loads per fuck aren’t uncommon, so let’s say 1.1 semen loads per fuck. The average volume is about 4 ml so let me do some work on a calculator.” [a few minutes later] “Well sweetie, your favorite pussy has pulled about 15 gallons of cock juice. I’d say three-quarters of that splashed on my cervix too. That doesn’t count what got popped on my tits or swallowed either. Damn, I’m even more of a sexpot that I thought!”

Him: “Wow, you’re more of a slut than I thought. No wonder you are the best piece I’ve ever had. Way better than that sister of yours I was dating when I met you. I never thought she was a big fan of fucking.”

Her: “No, she wasn’t. I don’t know how many times I banged her husband cause he wasn’t getting enough off her. I’m so glad you felt sorry for him.”

Him: “It was the least I could do after you had that hot cousin of yours stay here when you went on those mission trips. That preacher thanked me profusely for allowing you to accompany him and I know exactly why.”

Her: “Yep, he didn’t want to be tempted by any of the local women he was trying to save and I made sure he couldn’t have done much if they even offered.”

Him: “You are such an angel in disguise. I bet he wishes he could visit your heavenly gates back here.”

Her: “Who says he isn’t?”

Him: “I should have known. Spread ‘em; I’m ready to add to your lifetime total!”