Adele reached menarche so her mom had “the talk”. Even before getting into the biology and other nitty-gritty of sex, she started with the history of the farm handed down thru four generations of women. While the men went off to the city and other careers, the oldest female offspring inherited the big place.

The house and the barn had been built by Adele’s great-grandfather and were just as sturdy as new because they had been cared for. She’d played in that barn many times, exploring all the interesting things that could be found there but there was one special room she’d wondered about and which her mother had never explained. It was located deep within the barn in the most sheltered spot with a small door sporting an antique lock.

After the history lesson, almost a genealogy, her mother took her to the barn to that very door, handing her a key on a little necklace and said “Open it”.

The room was cozy but furnished with antiques which looked handmade. Her mother assured her they were made out of native wood by her great-grandfather. There was a double bed covered by a quilt made by her great-grandmother. Upon a shelf was a down comforter. There was a small dressing table and a mirror and a chamber pot. Pegs on the wall were apparently for hanging up clothes.

Mom and daughter sat on the bed as mom reviewed the basic biology from a book. Adele had had a sex-ed course at school which was reasonably thorough and not too tinted by religious views. When the book was finished, Mom said there was more that would never be found in books. There was a culture in the family that started back in those early pioneer days when things were much different, but the family liked tradition so much they had kept it through the additional generations and now was her turn to become aware of it and decide if she wished to continue the traditions.

“We have long believed that sex is a necessity, like breathing and eating and even urinating. Preachers were scarce out here in those days and that was a blessing because the messages they had were often unpleasant and unsuited to our needs. Because of that, some of the things you may have learned about relationships between men and women, including marriage, are more restrictive than what we believe.

“Your great-grandfather and mother were never married because there was no way to do it out here at that time. But they were more devoted to each other than many couples who have elaborate ceremonies and then go out not much later and violate their vows. Because they were practical people, they also didn’t get wrapped up in excessive restrictions, many of which are put in place to control people rather than help them.

“Neighbors were precious so you did everything you could to help them when they needed it and could count on them to return help when you did. With the distances involved when horses were the fastest means of transportation, social events were rare and treasured. Once a month people would travel to another’s farmhouse on a rotating basis, bringing along any kids and some food to share. Early potlucks, you might say.

“People helped each other out, raising houses and barns, working on harvesting, and helping any way they could. It was just natural then that if a woman were not able to conceive any of the children essential for perpetuating the farm, that help would be sought. My grandmother, and her three siblings, were all fathered by different neighbors because my great-grandfather was sterile. Once that barrier had been breached, and the wives had been advised beforehand of its happening, the sharing of spouses became common.

“In order to facilitate that, great-grandpa built this special room where a couple could go for privacy. There is a huge history of men and women loving each other in this room and bed. You are not the first of a new generation to share this treasure and I expect you will do it with the spirit and respect it deserves. I gifted, notice I didn’t say ‘lost’ my virginity in that bed and you were likely conceived there too.”

That was a lot for a young woman still a virgin to absorb so Mom called it enough for one day. They went back to their regular life with, “When you feel ready for sex, let me know and we will take the necessary steps to control pregnancy.”

Adele assured her mother that she would. There were no prospects at the moment, but her interest in boys was picking up. They were teasing her at school and it made her crotch tingle sometimes. Maybe someone would ask her for a date like some of her girlfriends had been on.

Before that happened, unlikely since her peers couldn’t drive, there was a traditional barn dance. It was a family event with a potluck and good old country music featuring banjo and fiddle music with square dancing. She had always enjoyed the energy and people interaction of that.

This time an older boy seemed to be her partner most of the time and when the band took a break he offered to get her a lemonade. He lived on the next farm to the north and she was shyly thrilled for the attention.

When the music started again he asked if she’d like to take a walk with him. Ooooh! The beginnings of romance! There was nearly a full moon and it was comfortable fall weather and they walked and talked. When he reached for her hand she tingled all over.

Down by the river he turned to her and kissed her soundly. Recovering from her surprise, the second one was a lot better. “Making out” jumped to the top of her activities preferences. They walked back without talking and danced some more. She sneaked him a kiss as the dance wound down.

Ralph called to see if he could visit her at home and she squealed with delight when the phone call was over. Mom asked what was going on and recognized the first stages of infatuation from her youth. “Keep me posted,” was her advice to her daughter.

Mom recognized that Ralph was on full “get-in-her-pants” mode from her own considerable experience. That was not necessarily bad since he came from a good family, one from which she’d bedded several of the men in her own and an older generation. Her daughter could do worse for starters, if indeed it went that far.

To be the great mom hers had been she had to offer advice only when asked and be a shoulder for tears if needed. Adele, like she had done, had to find her own unique path to adulthood, stumbling and succeeding as she would.

The dating with Ralph seemed to be going as expected for an early adolescent girl. One day, as they were doing dishes, Adele spoke, “I saw Ralph’s erect penis yesterday. It was a lot bigger than I expected.”

Mom asked, “Did you touch it too.”

Adele nodded, “I don’t see how that could fit in me, even if I was ready, which I’m not.”

Mom smiled, “I’ve never found one that doesn’t even though some you have to go slow with at first.”

That got her daughter’s curiosity going, “How many have you tried?”

“About a dozen altogether. Much like clothes, it’s good to try before you buy.”

The young woman faced her mother, “That seems like an awful lot!”

“About half of them were before I decided on your father to wed.”

The implications of that dawned on Adele, “You’ve cheated on Daddy?”

“Not at all. Your father knows all about it because we have no secrets about sex. He’s had his share of experiences too. Fair is fair. Let’s get these dishes done. We’ve got some more talking to do.”

Mom took the lead as they sat on the porch, “First of all, how do you feel about Ralph?” In the back of her mind she wondered how her daughter would react to knowing that she had bedded Ralph’s father and uncle in the little room in her pre-marriage quest.

“He’s nice enough and interesting but I’m not feeling any desire to go any further sexually.”

Mom smiled, “Then don’t. It’s very important that your ‘gut’ feels right when you make those decisions. I didn’t a couple of times and regretted it later. It does sound like you might need to be prepared if the right feelings are there. If they hit very hard, saying ‘no’ isn’t easy. Let’s get you to the doctor.” Adele agreed with that course of action.

Next, Mom addressed the big ‘unsaid’, the family sexual customs. “You’ve already had several clues that monogamy isn’t one of our principles. If you look at the wedding vows we recite, ‘forsaking all others’ isn’t there. Starting long ago, as I mentioned, voluntary sexual activity regardless of marital status became condoned and popular. One cannot be careless or hurtful with such a powerful thing, but used responsibly it can bring great benefits to all concerned.”

Adele interrupted, “So you can go have sex with someone and Daddy won’t get mad or hurt?”

Mom smiled, “Yes and I have many times over the years. So has he. Do we seem like an unhappy couple?” The young woman shook her head. Continuing, “I know you can’t fully understand some parts of this until you have experienced them yourself. We’ll talk some more as you journey on your path.”

The doctor visit was just in time because Adele got very interested in a boy the next grade level up and broke up with Ralph. Paul was nerdy but sweet and shy. She could be the aggressor this time and loved pushing his innocent envelope. He’d ride his small motorcycle over after school and they would do homework together. At least that was the “cover”. Mom watched with amusement, recalling a similar scenario in her history. She’d been more experienced by then.

When he showed up on weekends, Mom knew it was getting more serious. They took horseback and 4-wheeler rides and were gone for quite a while. Finally her curiosity couldn’t be held back. “How’s it going with Paul?”

“We sure get along well. He’s getting a lot less shy and we are fooling around now. His penis isn’t as thick as Ralph’s but is longer. Does that make any difference?”