Chapter 1

This is the story of how my life turned around and got better. We begin with a look back to where my life was at rock bottom. That would be the day that my wife, Rose, gave birth to her second child. This boy couldn’t have inherited his caramel-colored skin from Rose, whose skin was like pale porcelain, and he didn’t get it from me. I’m pale, myself, with sandy hair and blue eyes. It wouldn’t take a genius to determine he wasn’t mine. I took one look at him before turning to Rose and said, “I don’t think you can explain this, and I really don’t want to hear it right now.” I walked out of the delivery room without looking back. Everything had gone cold inside me, as if all my emotions had been short-circuited.

I stayed calm until I left the hospital, at least. I drove around town aimlessly for over an hour, muttering and sometimes screaming in rage at the woman I left in the delivery room with the child I had thought, up until the last moment, was mine. I was wrong about him, which means I had been wrong about Rose for about the last year. I thought she was as faithful to me as I had been to her. It was over between us now, with no going back. If this boy had been the only child, I wouldn’t have even stayed in town. If it wasn’t for my daughter, Ellie, even a double homicide could have been an option. I’ve read stories where someone took off, assumed another identity and lived happily ever after and, even though it was unlikely to be a successful option, I fantasized briefly about grabbing Ellie and going on the run. My little girl deserved better than being a four-year-old fugitive. I needed to have a better plan. I needed it now. The analytical side of my brain took over, and I started forming a course of action for the coming days and years.

Yes, it pissed me off to no end. Being pissed off is unavoidable, but what you do with your anger is key. I could scream and rage or I could do something about it. That something could be a double homicide in the maternity ward, or kidnapping my daughter and becoming a fugitive, or it could be finding a way to cut my losses and move forward without Rose. I made myself calm down so I could channel my anger into more productive pursuits for the sake of my daughter. I couldn’t do what I needed to do for Ellie, or for myself, if I was depressed, or screaming in rage, and I certainly wouldn’t be any good to my daughter if I ended up in jail.

My calm in the face of tense situations is what my bosses liked at work. Some of my coworkers call me the calmest man in the world. I was the negotiator, the fixer, the guy who got everyone to calm down and get back to work when something disrupted the normal peace and, a couple of times, I had been the first aid guy when someone got hurt and everyone else in the building was panicking. I’m skilled at dealing with tense situations. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was going to put a lot of those skills to test over the years as I dealt with the aftermath of my wife’s cheating.

Some people think I’m lying about simply walking away. Others think I’m lying about what I did in the days and years following. Nobody believes it when they learn I didn’t exact some terrible revenge on Rose for her sins. I concentrated instead on keeping my balance, making sure my daughter was provided for and staying out of any situation that involved a gun and Rose’s face.

It’s said revenge is a dish best served cold, so maybe I was waiting for just the right moment to deliver the frozen goods. At least it was that way early on. Over the years, an opportunity with cataclysmic portent never presented itself, so I quit holding my breath. I did my best to love my daughter and live my life, as I hope you’ll see in this story.

Some say the best revenge is living well. That’s what finally happened, but not through any planning on my part. In fact, I don’t feel as though ‘living well’ happened for at least ten years, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself in the story.

It’s also said your sins will find you out. Rose’s sins certainly found her out in the delivery room, but that was between her and God, and she had to look at the consequences every day, so I think she was punished in good measure, only it didn’t come from me. God has His own way of dispensing justice, and its wheels grind slow but fine, as you’ll see.

Once I had screamed myself out, I started developing a plan for going forward. I went back to the house and sent the babysitter home, gathered up some clothes and necessities for both of us, and took Ellie with me to a hotel. I couldn’t make myself stay in the house my cheating soon-to-be-ex-wife called home. Once we were checked in, I called Rose’s mother and told her it was a boy. I didn’t know at that point what Rose was going to name him, and I didn’t care. I just told my soon-to-be ex-mother-in-law that she needed to be there for Rose because of reasons she’d understand better when she got to the hospital. I didn’t tell her more. I just hung up. Yes, it was rude, but I wasn’t feeling polite at the time.

Since it was only about mid-morning at that point, I was able to get a referral from my regular attorney for someone to handle the divorce. His name was Roger Briscoe. On his advice, I took exactly half of the money Rose and I held jointly and put it in a separate account with only my name on it, after which I took my name off the formerly joint accounts. Also, at his suggestion, DNA tests were scheduled for Ellie and me, and my attorney said he would ask the court to compel Rose and the baby to be tested as well, so my daughter’s paternity could be established before any discussion of child support and custody began. I had little reason to doubt whether Ellie was mine so I think Roger just wanted to twist the knife a little.

I called my insurance and changed the beneficiary on my life insurance, naming my sister for the time being, until a trust could be set up for Ellie. I called my regular attorney and started him drafting a new will, including ways to keep Ellie’s inheritance safe from her mother or anyone else in case anything happened to me before she was an adult.

I called my twin sister, Rhonda, and gave her the short version of what was going on. Her reaction was not something I would put in print. She offered several remedies to the issue which could result in prison, including an offer to commit the double homicide herself. I told her I basically agreed with her, since I felt the same rage, but I was trying to stay calm for Ellie’s sake. Rhonda offered to take Ellie if I needed but, since she lived a thousand miles away, I thought it would be less disruptive for Ellie to stay closer to home. My parents lived even farther away than my sister, so they weren’t an option either. Rose’s parents were only an hour away and could take Ellie if need be.

The next step was to find a place to live. By dinner time, I had lined up a couple of places to look at the next day. Ellie and I were eating in a fast food place when my phone rang. It was Rose’s mother. Things were about to get interesting.

“Hello, Jeanelle,” I said.

“I’m so sorry, Ron,” she sobbed. “I just don’t know what to say. I’m so furious with Rose that I can’t even put it into words.”

“You and me both, Jeanelle,” I replied. “I had no clue until this morning. I just told her I didn’t think she could explain this away, and I left because I didn’t want to hear it if she tried. Ellie and I are staying in a hotel and I’ve got my attorney working on things, including a divorce.”

“I understand,” she sniffed. “I don’t like this one bit, Ron. You’ve always been our favorite son-in-law. It hurts to know we’re losing you.”

“I’m still Ellie’s father, at least until proven otherwise, and you’re her grandmother. It’s not like you’ll never see me again.”

“God,” she groaned. “This is such a mess.”

“That it is, Jeanelle,” I commiserated. “That it is. It’s an ugly business, and about to get uglier unless I miss my guess. Rose and Ellie and the little guy…”

“She named him Randall,” Jeanelle informed me.

“Rose, Ellie and Randall are going to need your support for the immediate future, no matter how furious you are with her. As much as I would love to punish Rose, I don’t want Ellie to be hurt in the crossfire.”

“Gary and I will be there for Rose,” Jeanelle assured me. “She’s going to get an earful from us over this, but she’s still our daughter and we’ll make sure our grandchildren are cared for.”

“Thanks, Jeanelle,” I said. “Speaking of which, could you take Ellie for a few days? I have a lot of business to take care of.”

“Anything you need, Ron,” Jeanelle said. “She needs to meet her little brother. As hard as it is for me to believe it, he’s still her brother, no matter what color he is. How about I pick her up about 8:30? Visiting hours start at nine.”

“Works for me,” I agreed. “And thanks again, Jeanelle. You’ve been the best mother-in-law a guy could ask for.”

After I told Jeanelle where Ellie and I were staying, we said our goodbyes and hung up. Turning to my little girl, I said, “That was grandma. You have a little brother. She’s going to pick you up in the morning and take you to see him and Mommy.”

“We can’t go now?” Ellie asked.

“Not tonight,” I told her, even though I knew visiting hours were still open. “It’s late, and you need to get some sleep. Tomorrow’s going to be a busy day.”

We returned to the hotel, and I got Ellie settled in for the night. While she slept, I toiled on my laptop to get as many details taken care of as I could. I stayed up way too late and couldn’t sleep well once I finally lay down, but morning finally came.

Ellie and I got ready for the day ahead and had our breakfast downstairs at the hotel, after which we had just enough time to clean the pancake syrup off her face and hands before her grandmother came to pick her up. Jeanelle’s face was bleak when she walked into the hotel lobby, but she brightened considerably when Ellie hugged her.

“Gary and I can keep Ellie as long as you need us to,” she said.

“Thanks, Jeanelle,” I answered. “I’m looking for a place to live and setting everything in motion for, you know…”

“I know. And I don’t blame you for it,” my mother-in-law growled. “Not one bit!”

“Thanks. I know this can’t be easy for you.”

“No, but it’s got to be ten times worse for you,” Jeanelle shrugged. “Rose completely betrayed you. I’m only her mother.”

“I’ve got enough of Ellie’s things upstairs to last a few days,” I interrupted. “Do you want them now or do you want to pick them up later?”

“I’ll pick them up later,” Jeanelle responded. “Maybe we could have dinner this evening and I’ll get them before I take Ellie back to our house? You can fill me in on things.”

“I’d like that,” I said. “You need to be in the loop.”

I knelt down and gave my daughter a hug. “You be good for grandma,” I told her. “Go meet your baby brother and I’ll see you tonight.”

“OK, Daddy,” my little girl said. With a kiss on my cheek, she took Jeanelle’s hand and skipped out the door.

“On with the day,” I sighed.

My appointments with the leasing agents weren’t for a couple of hours, so I used the time to stop by a clinic and get tested for diseases, including AIDS. Since Rose, at some point, had unprotected sex with at least one stranger, I had to make sure she hadn’t given me anything. The nurse told me that the results would be mailed to me within a week, which gave me yet another errand. I asked if they could hold off sending the samples to the lab until I could provide them with a Post Office box rather than the street address I had given them. She looked at me oddly and asked if I was trying to hide something from my wife.

“Quite the opposite,” I said. “Yesterday my wife gave birth to a baby that was obviously not mine since both she and I are white, and the baby is black. I had no idea she cheated on me and I’m moving out.”

“Holy crap!” she yelped before she could help herself. It took a minute to regain her professionalism. “The lab picks up at four. If you can give us an address by then, we’ll change it on the form. Otherwise, we’ll just trash these samples and you can get another test when you do have an address.” I thanked her and headed straight for the post office. Within a half hour, I had the key to a mailbox and an address for my mail. I stopped back by the clinic and changed the address for my test results. The nurse who had taken the sample wished me good luck and sent me on my way.

I spent the next couple of hours meeting with leasing agents and looking at possible apartments. I finally settled on a two-bedroom place halfway between work and my former home. The place wasn’t going to be available for another week, but I could live with that. I didn’t have stuff to move into it at this point anyway.

Jeanelle sent me a quick text with baby Randall’s full name, weight and length. I don’t know why. I didn’t think anyone would be interested hearing in those statistics from me after I told them that he wasn’t mine, but grandmothers are a funny breed.

After a late lunch, I stopped at a self-storage lot and rented a small space to hold things while I waited to move in. The storage company conveniently had rental trucks available on-site. I went back to the house and started the sad business of deciding what I would take with me to my apartment. All my clothes and personal items would be going, of course, along with anything work-related. I needed a bed, so I decided to take the one in the guest room. No way was I taking any bed that Rose had slept in. I made a mental note to get a bed for Ellie’s room in the apartment. Custody was something I know would have to be decided, but either way, my little girl needed a place to sleep.

I made a quick call to Jeanelle to find out when Rose and Randall were going to be released. She said that the hospital was keeping Rose an extra couple of days because of high blood pressure. “The constable served papers on her in the hospital,” my mother-in-law said, “so it’s no wonder her BP is up.” I thanked her for the information and hung up. Knowing Rose would be out of the house a couple more days gave me time to get some of my things moved out. I called my secretary, Marie, thinking her husband might be willing to help.

“So, Dad,” she giggled. “Tell me about the baby.”

“It’s a boy. His name is Randall Jacob,” I said. “Born yesterday at 7:41 AM. He’s eight pounds, six ounces, twenty-three inches and black. He’s not mine and Rose and I are getting a divorce.” I stopped there, and I’m sure Marie was waiting for me to let on that I was joking. I just waited for it to sink in.

“Oh my god,” Marie gasped. “You’re serious!”

“Completely serious, Marie,” I sighed. “In fact, I was calling to see if Rob could help me move a few things this evening.”

“I’ll make him help you,” Marie said, “and I’ll come along. What time?”

“Let’s try for around seven,” I said. “Ellie’s with her grandparents. I have an apartment lined up but can’t move in for another week. I’m putting stuff in storage, so I’ll need Rob’s help again later.”

“You got it boss!” she said. “Meet you at your house, er, I mean, your old place?”

“Thanks, Marie. You’re the best.”

Jeanelle and Ellie met me for dinner at 5:30, another fine repast of my daughter’s favorite fast food. Ellie was looking pensive.

“Daddy?” she said. “Why is my baby brother so dark? He’s not pink like you and me and mommy.”

Oh boy… how do I explain this to a four-year-old? I looked at Jeanelle and her smirk told me I was on my own.

“Honey,” I began, “what do you know about how babies are made?”

“Kissing!” my little girl said. “Mommies and daddies kiss and make a baby.”

My mother-in-law grinned at this, but I was glad I had been explaining baby-making to my daughter in an age-appropriate way once Rose had gotten pregnant.

“That’s right, sweetie,” I praised. “Well, mommy did a bad thing and kissed a different daddy and they made little Randall. He’s your brother, but I’m not his daddy.”

“Mommy’s been bad,” Ellie hissed. “She needs a spanking!”

“Maybe so,” I said as I tried not to laugh at my daughter’s outburst. “Daddy is very mad at mommy right now, that’s for sure. Now, I need you to be a big girl for me and be brave for a while. I won’t be living with your Mommy any more, but I will always love you. I want you to know that.”

“I want to live with you, Daddy,” Ellie scowled. “I’m mad at Mommy!”

“I know, Ellie. I want you to live with me, too, and I’ll try to make that happen. She’s still your mommy, though, and she still loves you.”

My daughter settled down enough to finish her chicken strips and fries. Afterward, she wanted to play in the kids’ area, so Jeanelle and I followed her in and sat off to the side where we could talk while keeping an eye on her.

“Rose is really scared, Ron,” my mother-in-law said. “Not that I’m totally sympathetic, given what’s happened. She’s terrified of what you might do to her.”

“I’m not going to do anything to her, Jeanelle, much as the thought has been on my mind. I’m certainly not going to assault her,” I shrugged. “I’m just leaving her. I won’t do anything stupid and end up in prison, because I want to be there for Ellie. I’ll even try to be even-handed in the divorce, for Ellie’s sake, but I’m not going to live in that house with Rose and be reminded of what she did every time I look at Randall. I just can’t.”

“I know,” Jeanelle sighed, “and I understand. I’m angry, too, though maybe not as angry as you and Ellie. I’m also terribly disappointed in her.”

“I need your help with Ellie, Jeanelle,” I told her. “No matter what Rose did, or what happens from here on out, Ellie needs to know that I love her, and that Rose loves her. She needs to know that Randall is her brother and she should love him and her mother and me. It’s going to be very rough on that little girl. I don’t want to make it worse by letting Ellie get caught in the middle.”

“I’ll do everything I can, Ron,” she answered. “Gary and I will keep Ellie for now. I called Rose’s sister, Dianne, and she’s coming up to help when Rose and Randall come home from the hospital, even though she’s more than a little pissed off at Rose for this. Do you have a place to live, yet?