Chapter 1

It will come as little surprise to the public that the women’s professional tennis tour has its share of lesbianism. Some of this is upfront, as with Greet Minnen and Alison Van Uytvanck who in 2018 shared a very public kiss at Wimbledon, and were very proud of their relationship. So they should be. However, that did not stop them breaking up in 21, with Alison this year announcing her marriage to non-player Emilie Vermeiren (and pretty, actually). Greet has gone on to ‘play the tour’, as we like to put it – which does not mean the obvious, since all we players obviously play the (tennis) tour – but is our slang for dating and/or sleeping around with our fellow pros be it the guys or girls. By all accounts she is experimenting with bi, for now – as with myself I suppose.

I am Sorana Cirstea – pronounced ‘Sor-ran-ya Kurrstayah’ – from Romania, and it’s going well this week at the US Open. I’m into the third round, which will protect my ranking in the top 30, which is a pretty good place to be at the age of 33, and I’m proud of this big ‘veteran’ (I guess) effort I’m putting into my career, but I would just love to get into the second week of a slam; it hasn’t happened for a long time, this sport is tough. I’m playing Elena Rybakina, the current world number 4, who is great form, so I’m up against it but we will see. She’s fucking beautiful, of course – and I’d love to have a go with her - but she’s strictly for men as far as we all know. Anyway, the girl (Miss X) with me right now in my hotel room is also beautiful, in a different but no less fantastic way. She’s a famous player, and I might tell you who she is later.

I am torn, oh so torn, between pushing things on with my current lovely best friend or trying out with Greet. Greet is not as pretty, but she’s perfectly okay (I could not do the very masculine-looking women), and what’s more she has lots of lez experience so I am sure it would be hot. She’s just made the third round here as a qualifier; great effort. However, I don’t want to hurt Miss X, who may or may not want to move on to something more physical with me. I would rather have Miss X (I think I should protect her identity for now), but if it is not to be then I need an outlet. A lot of us use sex as a stress-reliever, simple as that, as well as an encouragement, cameraderie, reward type of thing for each other, plus of course the usual human foibles of falling in mad lust or love.

Talking of the last two, I’ll digress onto Katie and Alex; that’s the Brit girl, Katie Boulter and her Aussie boyfriend De Minaur. Plenty of the girls are in relationships, of course, including the sweet ever-so-well-spoken Brits. Do you think perhaps they’re quite chaste in their relationship, though, what with their upbringing and the responsibility of not getting pregnant and keeping focused on their careers type of thing? Well, you couldn’t be more wrong. A few, maybe, but make no mistake, most of them bloody well love a good dose of hot sex, and regularly. It’s just a question of whether it’s gotten via being faithful to one person. With these two, by all accounts, it is – for now – and their sessions are enough to make an ordinary person’s eyes water.

Whatever, it works for them. They’ve spurred each other’s games on big time. Both are into the third round here. That’s to be expected for him, a solid top-15 player these days and getting better all the time, but for her it’s a real breakthough year. She’s only ever done this well at Wimbledon, and has been stuck outside the top 100 or even 200 for the last few years, not able to get her fitness right. Now, it seems, she has, finally, at age 27. They’ve made a pact: if she gets into the second week (meaning wins her third round match), he has to service her vaginally with his mouth for 2 hours solid, in whatever position but including lots of her sitting on his face; if he makes the semi-finals, he gets to fuck her anally, which she reckons would be a first for her (we’re assuming he’s done the same with other girls, but he’s a bit cagey about it).