Chapter 1

I held Beck in my arms and stroked her hair gently. She seemed deeply troubled by her talk with Roberta. Whether that was because she had bad news to break to me or because she’d had to give her some, I didn’t know.

“You talked to Roberta,” I said softly, getting things started. I was deathly afraid she was going to ask for her key, but she needed me to coax her out right now and support her. “What did she tell you?”

She shrugged. “You know already,” she mumbled and pointed to the note on her desk. It was the one I’d written and given to Roberta.

I nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you directly,” I said quietly. “That secret wasn’t mine to tell though. It had to come from her.”

She nodded. “I know. I’m not mad. It just ... It took me by surprise.”

“So how do you feel about her?” I asked, my chest constricting in fear of what she might say. God, I hated panic attacks. I knew she loved me, but did she love HER too? I couldn’t say in that moment.

“I feel ... mostly sad for her,” Beck said, and I felt some hope that she’d chosen us. “She’s been chasing this crush forever. If she’d told me...”

“Things might have been different?” I asked delicately.

She shrugged. “I guess we’ll never know,” she said. “If she’d told me last summer, before all this happened, it might have been her and me or she might have joined us and all of us would have been together. Now, though?” She shook her head. “She hurt you, she hurt me, and she hasn’t done anything to help either of us. She keeps hurting you and that makes me want to hit her.”

I hugged her tight and she held me just as tightly. “Does that mean you DO have feelings for her?” I asked her softly.

“Not really,” she said. “Last summer, if she’d asked me before you sent Lana to talk sense to me, I might have said yes. I might even have been happy. I belong to you, though. She thought she could pull me away. Why did you write that note?” she wanted to know.

“Because I trusted that your heart would lead you back here,” I told her. “But if I was wrong and your heart led you to her, I didn’t want to hold you back from being happy. Even Bad Matt wouldn’t have held you back. He might have wanted to chase you for half a block with a paddle, but he’d still want you to be where you were happy.”

She laughed at that and squeezed me harder. “You really wrote that because you wanted me to be the happiest?” she asked, a little surprised.

“Lana wanted to skip practice and come looking for you to stop you,” I told her. “I told her that we needed to trust you.”

“I love you,” she said happily.

“I love you too,” I told her, and I could feel that panic attack start to loosen its grip on my chest. We stayed like that for a while, just holding each other quietly. “Did she ask you to tell her about what’s happened?”

She nodded. “That’s what we talked about first,” she said. “I didn’t tell her anything about Miranda, but I told her about Dr. Collins and about Dr. Spencer and the study. I told her about the divorce and Dr. Saddler’s cancer, about the rumor ... I told her about the party. She knows I was drugged and raped and sold. I told her about everything you’d been through with school; your fight with your mother; Lilly making things worse; about watching out for all of us; about how you lost Zoe; getting shot by Vance; having to do physical therapy for your arm and paying for the cheerleading team. I told her a lot of it. Pretty much anything that’s common knowledge, I told her about. I told her you were in a lot of pain and had a full-time therapist because of everything you’ve been through.”

“Did you tell her about Cheryl?” I asked. It was the one major tragedy in my life that she hadn’t mentioned.

She nodded. “I didn’t tell her she’d been at the party, but that you’d agreed to be the father of her baby even though you weren’t. I told her about how Cheryl freaked out and left us and how much you were looking forward to being a dad. I told her how people keep hurting you and coming back looking for you to clean up their problems like Zoe did and we did and like Cheryl’s going to.”

That surprised me. She expected Cheryl to be back and to want my help with her problems. I wondered about that and couldn’t honestly say how I might react when that day came. I didn’t really think she was wrong about it, but now I needed to consider how to handle it. “Well, hopefully Roberta gets the message and stops pushing my anxiety,” I said and kissed her forehead. “Thanks for doing all that. I know it’s not easy for you to talk about, but I couldn’t. She keeps saying she wants to get to know the new me and understand what I’ve been through, so she can make things right somehow.”

“Are you going to let her?” she asked. “I told her about the list I had of things to do to make it right.”

“I don’t see that turning out the way she wants,” I shrugged. “What’s your suggestion?” I asked. “You know her better than I do. Do you think she’s going to march into the dungeon, ask for Bad Matt and take that kind of punishment?”

She shrugged. “I think she’d do just about anything to get what she wants,” she admitted.

“She wants you,” I told her. “No matter what she promises me, that’s not on the table. That’s not mine to give.”

“Isn’t it?” she asked, looking up at me. She touched her collar softly.

“I would never compel you to have sex with anyone, collar or not. If you want her, tell me and I’ll make it happen for you somehow. If you’re not interested in her that way, then that’s the end of it.”

“What if she wanted to join the Sorority?” she asked.

“Did she ask about that?” I deflected the question. Somewhere, I knew Victoria was smiling.

“She asked a lot of questions. Did you really tell her you were dating all the cheerleaders?” she asked, grinning.

“I told her that, as far as guys like the two jocks at lunch were concerned, I was, and that I was dating a lot of other girls in the school too if goons like that were trying to find party girls,” I clarified.

She nodded. “Yeah. I told her that’s the kind of thing you do all the time. You look out for people.”

I nodded. “You still didn’t tell me if she asked about joining, just that she’d wanted to know about it,” I prompted her.

“She wanted to know about the other girls. I told her that some of them had been hurt at that party, but that I wasn’t naming names. She asked how many of us there were. I told her that there were eight now, but that there had been two members who left. She wanted to know how we managed not to kill each other and stupid shit mostly. I don’t think she understands how it works, but I probably didn’t explain it well.”

“You probably did fine. Not everyone understands. Remember Manda?” I asked.

She giggled. “Of course. I wonder what happened to her.”

“Collie said she stopped partying,” I told her. “She’s doing better in school, keeping herself out of trouble and she’s asking about us every so often.”

“We should pick her up some weekend,” she grinned impishly and just that quick, the mood in the room was better. We both laughed and she kissed me. “Thanks for believing in me,” she said sweetly.

“Always,” I told her simply. The truth was, I’d believed in her to do what made her happiest. I felt strongly that we were what was best for Beck, but until she agreed, nothing had been certain. “Just one more question about today and then I’ll leave it alone.”

She nodded. “You could ask me a million questions if you need to. But, go ahead.”

“If she asked to join the Sorority, what would your vote be?” I wondered.

She looked surprised by that. “I’d have thought your vote would be ‘no’ and that would be the end of it,” she said.

“I vote last,” I told her. “That way no one feels bad about voting their conscience. I may present the case for or against someone, but my vote doesn’t matter if someone votes ‘no’. I usually start with the person that knows the girl best. When it came to Manda, Collie didn’t want her, so the vote stopped there. This time, you know her best.”

“I’d have to talk to her more,” she bit her lip, “but if she were to ask tomorrow, I’d vote ‘no’.”

“You think she’d view the Sorority as a necessary evil to get what she wanted: you,” I challenged.

She nodded. “Not just that. I don’t think she’s interested in guys at all. So, any sex that she had, would either be with the girls or would be something she wouldn’t want to do.”

I nodded. “I didn’t get into the details of her orientation when she confessed her feelings to me. I’d just finished calling Dr. Spencer because I’d been sorely tempted to kill her in the cafeteria, so I really wasn’t in as much control of the situation as I normally am.”

She nodded. “Well, that’s my vote. I bet it matches yours,” she said lightly.

I hesitated, but then nodded. “Just between us, what she did to you, specifically, was the single thing that hurt me the most. I didn’t tell you that before, but I think you knew. I think a lot of people would vote against her joining. If I had to guess, Tricia would vote against it unless she had to go three full days with Bad Matt as her initiation. Lana would vote against her and Gina’s probably none too happy with her, either. Even if all the other girls voted to give her a chance, your vote makes all the rest of the voting moot. Remember our policy. It only takes one ‘no’ vote to keep someone out.”

She nodded and kissed me softly on the lips. “So, your arm’s back to normal, huh?” she asked, deliberately changing topics.

I shrugged. “Not exactly normal, but I can start strength training again and return to Kung Fu this weekend, except for sparring. Diego’s amazed that I’m doing so well.”

“Good, then I can expect Bad Matt not to go easy on me next week when it’s my turn,” she grinned. “Let’s go back downstairs. I’m starving.”

I had to laugh. “Me too. I actually worked out today. It was good.”

We went downstairs and dinner was already underway. “Everything okay?” Patty asked tentatively.

“You’ve been told what’s going on?” I asked lightly.

“Lana’s been rather frantic,” Dan said. “She said you had trouble at lunch again today and that you and Beck were talking about it.”

“I told Lana that we had to trust Beck with this,” I told them. “She and I were going over what she was able to find out after school.”

“And?” Lana prompted, practically bouncing in her seat. “Spill it!”

“Beck feels that Roberta may ask about joining the Sorority at some point. She said that she asked a lot of questions about how it worked.” I summarized.

I was about to say more when I was suddenly cut off. “I vote ‘no’!” Gina said immediately. “I saw the look on your face after she talked to you. She’s on the list. Twice.”

Lana nodded. “I vote ‘no’ too,” she said. “I know what she did to hurt you. The only way she’s getting into the Sorority is over my dead body.”

“Agreed,” Tabby said. “If she’s this bad, she’s not getting in.”

I wisely shut my mouth and let the rest of the girls chime in, each of them refusing to allow it. Emma waited it out, giving me a small smile. “What was your vote, Slugger?” she asked.

I shrugged. “Beck and I both agreed that she didn’t have a place with us. Could that change in the future? Maybe. She only just found out about everything that’s happened since last summer. She may find a way to mend some of the wounds that she’s helped create, and we may feel far more welcoming down the road. Right now, though, if she asked, our answer was the same as all of yours.”

I noticed the parents had stayed out of it. We had Miguel, Louisa and Hector. Frank was absent, but Mom, Dan and Patty just sat back and watched while we solved it.

We chatted normally after that and I excused myself after eating. “I need to make a phone call and I need to do it before Emma wins a bet we have,” I explained, letting myself out and crossing the yard to get Dawn and take her for her evening walk. She was overwhelmed with glee at the sight of me and we took off at a walk while I talked to Mark. I had a plan for poor Emma.

“Hi, Mark,” I said when he answered. “I needed to call you as soon as possible. Emma’s really on the hunt for what my costume is.”

“Don’t worry,” he laughed. “All the plans are locked in my safe and Gina’s been good about staying out of the design room.”

“Awesome. I want to take it a step farther though. I want to start another costume to throw them off the trail.”

“What sort of costume?” he asked.

“You suggested a Batman outfit when we first met. What about the armor from the new movie? It would explain everything that she’s been able to gather from the conversations I’ve had with her father. He and I were talking about the weight of the suit. If you had Gina make a cape for that costume, she’d be able to run that information back to Emma.”

“That’s pretty devious,” he admitted.

“Yeah. Let me know costs and we’ll build the whole suit. I’ll need a costume for next year anyway, right?”

He laughed. “You’re gonna be the death of that poor girl,” he said. “The helmet design is going well, by the way. I’m actually on a slow spell, so I’ve got some CAD work done for it. It’s going to be pretty impressive.”

“Were you able to get the titanium for it?” I asked, wanting to make sure we had the materials nailed down.

“No,” he admitted grumpily. “That’s the other thing I’m trying to take care of. The supplier I use for materials is getting testy about what he gives us that’s out of the norm. I don’t know whether he caught a kick in the ass for the shield or if he’s just trying to get me to give him a kickback of some kind, but he’s grumbling about it being on back order.”

“If you can send me the exact specifications on the armor plating in the shield, I think I can get what we need,” I said, thinking about how I could get the materials. I couldn’t believe it didn’t occur to me before.

“How?” he asked, surprised. “It’s military grade armor.”

“I go to Harvard,” I said simply. “I can put in a request for it for experiments and testing.”

“You’re taking a metallurgy course?” he asked, surprised.

“Not this semester, but the professors all seem to like me. I’m sure that if I ask, and tell them what I’m building, they’d be willing to order it for me. If they can’t, then they can definitely get me titanium. That shouldn’t be hard,” I explained.

“That’s true. You might want to consult with a few of their robotics professors too. They might be able to give you credit for the project toward some of your courses.”

I laughed. “Because if someone needs extra credit, it’s this guy,” I said dryly.

“Smart-ass,” he laughed with me. “Alright, I’ll start work on a suit of Batman armor that should throw the girls off the scent. I’ll start leaving little clues around the shop for her to find. Nothing too obvious though. You don’t want Emma to get suspicious that they’re a plant.”

“Alright,” I said. “Thanks, Mark. I’m serious about the costs on the Batman suit. Send me a bill with Gina and I’ll get you the money.”

“Alright,” he said. “I think what you already gave us is more than enough for that, though.”

We said goodbye and then I put my phone away so that I could concentrate on Dawn. We ran for a bit until we were both ready for a rest and headed home. I was feeling like I was on top of the world when I got home. My leg was recovered, my shoulder still felt good, my scars were about to become a thing of the past. I was out with my dog and we were both having a good time.

When we got home, I took her to the back yard to do her business and then let her in to have a drink and settle down with one of her bones. She’d adjusted remarkably well to not having me around during the day and I was glad. By the time we’d gotten back from our walk, the girls were set up at the dining room table, working on something.

“What’s up?” I asked lightly.

“We’re making sure everyone knows about the party this weekend,” Lana said, tapping away at her laptop diligently.

“I sent Lilo and Stitch to warn everyone on late lunch. They even talked to Cheryl,” I told them, not thinking about what I’d just said.

“Lilo and Stitch?” Gina repeated with a laugh. “When did you start calling Janice ‘Stitch’?” she wanted to know.

“Just now,” I admitted. “It’s better than calling them ‘Night and Day’. Besides, her last name is Link. A stitch is just a specific kind of link, right?”

“Can I tell them that’s their new nicknames?” she asked, still giggling.

I shrugged. “Sure. Why not? Just make sure they know it wasn’t meant to be mean.”

“I will,” she assured me, as I kissed the top of her head.

“You guys ready for the assembly tomorrow?” I asked.

Lana nodded. “The three of us are gonna run the cameras so there’s a pan of the crowd, a close-up on you and a wider angle of the stage. Emma’s charging the cameras and dumping the stuff on them to the hard drive so we can wipe them clean before bed.”