Chapter 4: Moses Grant Narrates

I slept with many a sweet dream in my head that night after meeting Ty and the few nights after. You know, I’ve been a miserable, lonely old bugger in my old age, since Mavis left me, twelve long years ago. I miss her so much. We had a lot of fun throughout our 46 years together but towards the end I let her down. All the magic I had at my fingertips and couldn’t save her. Dying at 68 and in pain, is too soon nowadays. Sure, I could give her a day free of pain, even day after day free of pain, but the agony always came back to hurt her more. Then one day she begged me not to try any longer. We accepted that I couldn’t save her life so we spent our last few days together, me trying to conceive of a time without her and she with accepting an end to the pain and utter helplessness and more worried about me getting by without her.

She always loved unicorns, so in her final hours I had a miniature flying unicorn hovering and circling over the bed. The look of wonder of her face made her more beautiful than she had been for twenty years.

I was tired after the trip to the shopping centre and meeting that earnest young man, Tyler, who reminded me somewhat of myself, in the days when I loved the simple life of performing card tricks.

When I awoke at 5am the next morning, I realised that I had gone to the shops to collect a pair of repaired boots and meeting Ty had put it out of my mind completely. I couldn’t face going back for them. I still remember the old comic’s routine on the ship, he never changed it from one performance to the next, ‘I was passing the cobblers on the way to the theatre and remembered the shoes I put in to be repaired last week, so I dropped in to collect them ... there’ll be ready next Tuesday!”

I remember Mavis, still in her little white bikini, her red hair plastered to her lovely head. I remember when she burst into my little dressing room. Usually she changed separately, sharing a much bigger room with dancers and backing singers. Oh boy, she was red-faced with anger. My Lord, she looked lovely, though. Her fists were clenched by her side as if she knew if she lifted them she’d use them to punch me left, right, left until her strength gave out. And I was quite prepared to let her give me the lumps I deserved.

Instead, she cried huge wracking sobs, so I wrapped my arms around her, kicked the dressing room door shut with my foot and just held onto her until she was all cried out.

“I could’ve died,” she sobbed.

“No, honey,” I said as steadily and soothingly as I could, “you told me you can hold your breath for three minutes and you were in there for 90 seconds top. We could’ve done another curtain call and you’d even have made a name for yourself, better than Gerald the Snake. Do you need a good male assistant, Magic Mavis? I fancy a change, do you fancy seeing your name up in lights?”

When she peeled away and looked at me, I had removed the small smile that holding this angel had given me and put on what I thought might be a serious or at worse neutral face.

“You bastard, you’re enjoying this aren’t you?”

“Absolutely, I’ve never held a more beautiful woman, more angry than...” I replied. “Well, actually I have...”

Her face took on a frown.

“But,” I continued, “Never anyone as angry who has meant so much to me as you.”

“You mean, you like me?”

“Oh! Yes, I like you, I like you ... a lot,” I said. “Look, Mavis, it’s way after midnight, let me walk you back to your cabin, kiss you on your cheek goodnight and we can talk about what happened over breakfast in the morning.”

I put my dressing gown on her, it almost wrapped around her twice.

“You can’t go back to your cabin.”

“Ah, rising damp is it?”

“Very, more like dripping wet from the ceiling.”

“I can dry it off.”

“Really? Just like you could, you know, transport me, and all that bloody cold water, to your room?”

“Something like that. It’s unpredictable, magic. I could dry it but as soon as I dropped off to sleep it might all get wet again, or by gathering up all the moisture and sending it somewhere else, like overboard, I might get away with it. Magic is tricky stuff and you have to be careful how you use it.”

“It sounds like it’s tricky, even for an expert. So, could you have used this magic to have seduced me into your little bed a month ago if, as you say, you liked me.”

“Maybe I could’ve.”

“That means you probably could or definitely could?”

“I wouldn’t, Mavis, I could’ve I guess, but I wouldn’t want to.”

“Oh,” she sounded disappointed.

“Oh, it’s not that, Mavis. No, I mean you’re absolutely gorgeous, but you are way, way out of my league. No, I couldn’t.”

“Couldn’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t, then, was it?” she asked, brighter, placing the palms of her hands on my chest.

“No, absolutely couldn’t, Mavis, using magic like that, to weaken your natural reserve or revulsion reflex, it would be date rape. Even if I could make you forget that I had my wicked way with you, I couldn’t work with you, face you and have to deal with all the guilt. I like and respect you too much. No, Mavis I couldn’t, simply couldn’t.”

“Not even if I said I loved you, had fancied you from afar for years and talked my auntie into recommending me to you—”

“Wait, my agent is your aunt?”

“Yes, I was on her books ready to drop everything at the drop of a hat, but she kept telling me you had a harem of beautiful girls willing to be your assistant for free. She assumed as no expenses came through the books, pay, fees, gifts, hotel room charges per person, not even meals for two, that they were your girlfriends. I was sooo jealous. That’s why I made her book you on this cruise, thinking you might appear to have a tart in every resort in England, but you’d need me as your assistant for the Caribbean.”