Chapter 2

“Mister editor, does the colony accept teachers and their family as colonists?”

“Most definitely! They are always looking for teachers, particularly for primary schools in villages.”

“I thought that might be the case. The fact that my husband is in the military shouldn’t affect that option, should it?”

“Madam, we don’t care a damn what a spouse’s former occupation was. If you are a teacher, he comes with you and your children, if any. He can look after the kids while you are at work; that is useful for everyone.”

“We only have the one boy, aged three, so Alastair can certainly babysit instead of staring at the stars. Put us down as volunteer colonists, please; and I am NOT petulant!”

“Oops, sorry Melissa. I didn’t intend to offend, but I am not who you apply to. You ask The Personalia, and they will pass on the request, along with their recommendation if they approve.” She raised her voice: “YOU: Joe Bloggs or whatever. Can we apply to emigrate?” Joe replied, “You can, Mrs Melissa Johnston. Can you assure me that you do not lose your temper with the schoolchildren?”

“Yes. I can promise that. Sorry about the outburst. I was more annoyed at my thick husband than anyone. Children, I just adore. I have only been able to have one.”

“Is there a known reason for that?”

“It is not really your business, Mr spaceship, or Joe Bloggs, but I will tell you. The doctor said I had problems with my uterus and it would not be safe to try for another one. Why do you want to know?”

“Sorry. I was simply seeking data. If you would like more children in your family, add another wife who can have babies, and you can expand your family that way.”

“Eh? Are you not aware it is illegal to have more than one wife?”

“That is true where you live at the moment, but if you move to Rehome, it is legal there.” There was a short, what might be called a pregnant pause, then Melissa said as an aside to her husband, “Alastair, do you think Jane would like to come with us and be a second wife?”

“Jane? What do you mean, Jane?”

“Jane Connors; your bit on the side, that’s who I mean. Did you not realise I know about her?”

“No. I mean, how do you know anything about her?”

“She teaches at the school where I do relief teaching for illness cover and so on. The other teachers know about you two – she must have talked to them - and they told me about it, in case I wanted to break it up and dump you. You never show me any less love than before, so I tolerate your peccadillo. If she wants children and is willing to marry you as number two wife, we can emigrate together. Does that satisfy your libido, darling?” A shocked Alastair stammered, “Umm ... It could get complicated, possibly ... You see ... I would need to speak with her. There may be other problems to sort out, but if she is agreeable, I would be all for it. Presumably you would both teach, and I would be the house husband, looking after our children?”

“That is the general idea I presented to you. Go phone her now on your mobile, while I negotiate with Joe Bloggs, the spaceship.” She talked more with Joe about possibly bringing another woman with them, to add to the family in the colony. He/it was not fazed in the slightest.

“If you can persuade her to join you, then we will ship you out as a family unit. You can confirm yourselves as a formal marriage once you get to the colony.”

“How do we get to your spaceport, or wherever your Landership takes off from?”

“We make a booking for your household on a charter flight to Ascension Island. It takes off from Brize Norton RAF base, and the military personnel on that island will arrange your transfer to the next available passenger Landership – some of them take cargo only. Baggage is restricted to one suitcase, rucksack or similar; much like airline travel. Furnishings of any kind are not tolerated. You can buy what you need on Rehome. On finances, you can move your financial assets to Rehome by a bank digital transfer at any time.” How do we do our advance booking? It takes a fair bit of time to make arrangements and to get to that air base, you know.”

“Sorry, I don’t know about such human matters. I am sure it depends on your own surface transport arrangements.”

“Oh yes, I keep forgetting you are not human; you sound human.”

“We have had experience of many human voices, and merely adapted some to our needs. It is helpful when using the telecoms systems. By the way, you have so many of these! It would be more sensible to have a single system operating.”

“That may be so, but we work on a capitalist economy, with companies competing for customers.” She ceased her explanations for a moment, to call to her husband.

“Alastair! It can’t take that long to ask her to marry you, can it?”

“Sorry, Melissa my love. Jane has a complication she has to resolve at school. She will phone us back as soon as she can get the time between classes.”

“Damn silly girl! What sort of ‘complications’ can she have? She has no husband or kids; or has she? Alastair? Has she any children I don’t know about?”

“No, love; no children. She has to consult with another teacher.” Melissa suddenly twigged that work at school was not that easy to abandon. She probably had to check on how to give notice and so on, and arrange for temporary relief cover until they could find a replacement. Well, that was acceptable. She informed Joe Bloggs of the unexpected delay.

“Mr Bloggs? It may be some time, perhaps a day or two, before we can confirm our numbers. Is that all right with you?”

“Perfectly all right, Melissa Johnston. We are used to the instabilities of human families; these oddities are peculiar to biological life, but we can put up with it.” That conversation ended, and Melissa told George Plummer, “George, Alastair and I have to sort out a few family matters, but it looks like we will come to the new Colony as well as you and Julie.”

“Fine, Melissa. We’ll look forward to that. You have a small boy, don’t you?”

“Yes, a lovely little boy, Timothy, but just the one child at the moment; I am working on it. Goodbye for now.”

“Goodbye, Melissa.” Melissa closed the call, and sat to think. There was still the remote possibility of a scam, as it was all on the telephone, but the claimed spaceship character had not asked anyone for money or to do anything silly; not even mention of a charge for travel costs: she should have asked about that. Even the digital transfer of assets was left open; they could deal with that from the Colony, if it was real, it seems. If anyone was telling lies, they could back out; but there was a ring of truth to the whole thing. She could probably get Alastair to check with someone in his army hierarchy who was high enough to know what was happening with these aliens. Someone had to know. She decided she would be better working on what they would have for their evening meal. She had some cod that would do for a soufflé. They had not had that for a while, she decided. Later, as she was collecting the ingredients, the phone rang. Instead of a call from Alastair, she got a call from Jane Connors.

“Mrs Johnston? This is Jane Connors.”

“Oh. Has Alastair been asking you a very important question?”

“Yes. I think I am in, if what he said was true, but I had to talk with Effie.” Melissa stopped short. “Effie? Who is Effie, Jane?”

“Euphemia Templar; she teaches at the same school. A divorced lady, much the same age as myself.”

“Oh, I think I know who you mean. You were speaking with her about having to hand in your notice and so on, were you?”

“No. I wanted to find out if she wanted to marry Alastair as well.”

“Marry Alastair? Why would she? I don’t understand this.” Melissa suddenly had a sinking feeling that there were things she really didn’t know after all.

“Alastair is fucking her too. She blackmailed us into letting her fuck Alastair at my home, or she would tell you about me and Alastair. Alastair was not happy at the time, I can tell you, but he has since been happily fucking her for the past month. You didn’t know, did you?”

“It is news to me; not that it would bother me. She had no need to try blackmail. Oh, now I see where you are going. The blackmail part has evaporated; she just enjoys the fucking and wants Alastair.”

“You have it, in one. I asked her how she felt about Alastair, and would she be willing to put it on a permanent basis, having children and so on. You see, there was some loose talk by her recently of perhaps wanting a baby from Alastair. My question stopped her thoughts and she demanded, ‘How?’, so I told her if we emigrated to this human colony, we could all marry Alastair and be a family together. She is still worried what you might think of her and her blackmail efforts, so I phoned Alastair and got him to invite the two of us to your house for dinner tonight, so you could meet her and vet her as another potential wife. No use her coming to the colony with us, unless you can put up with her. Alastair claims you were fine about accepting me as a second wife.”

“He was telling you the truth. Pity he didn’t tell me about Euphemia; does she go by ‘Effie’ at work?”

“Yes, among the staff, but to the children, she is Mrs Templar. They have no idea she is divorced.”

“If I am thinking of the right person, she is blonde, about five feet seven, slender but with a big bust and behind as well?”

“Yes, that’s her, but she is actually a brunette: dyes her hair, did it to suit her now ex-husband. I think she likes sex, by the way. This why she blackmailed us; she was getting desperately lonely and horny.”

“So do I like sex; that is not a defect in my eyes. I presume you like sex as well, if you have been having it off regularly with Alastair. I presume you are his ‘Astronomy Club’ that he goes to every week?”

“Yes. Good choice, eh? I am glad you knew about us and didn’t complain: you are a kind and generous woman, Melissa.”

“Thank you, Jane. I think you and I will get along together fine. We’ll see about Mrs Templar tonight.”

“Do you need me to bring something for the meal? Pizza, fish and chips, or something we can reheat quickly?”

“Thanks for the offer, but I was already planning on a fish soufflé. It normally does us two days, but instead it can do the four of us tonight. Timothy can either have a small portion or he can have one of the snack dinners that kids love; things like chicken dippers and beans. It is easy to prepare.”

“Great, but I can help by clearing up and doing the dishes afterwards, if you want to quiz Effie a bit more. We are talking about a completely new life together, aren’t we?”

“Indeed so. What do you think about Effie? Is she a possible sharer, or is she a non-starter for a multiple marriage?”

“I am not certain, but I think she quickly changed from a taker, to a lover, with Alastair. He changed his tune as well, from resentful to aquiescence and then to enthusiasm. He enjoys making love with her now – sorry to say this, Melissa, as I love him immensely, and I was jealous for a while – but it is really up to you to decide, as top wife. What time do you want us to arrive?”

“Is five o’clock too early? It would give us time for a chat while the soufflé is cooking.”

“No. We are usually finished about four, so we can make it for five. We will come in our own cars in case Effie turns out to be a problem and has to leave on her own. Do you have an evening appointment that we have to depart by, so we don’t get in your way?”

“How considerate of you, Jane! As it happens, not tonight, and as you know, it is not Alastair’s Astronomy Club night...” Jane laughed delightedly. “No. He can’t get his rocks off tonight, can he? Not with me, anyway.” Melissa said thoughtfully, “It depends on how things go, over the meal. If all turns out well, I may ask Alastair to perform with me watching him, to see if we can be a family without embarassment.”

“You mean, me and him, or me and Effie and him, or all of us together? It has always been one-on-one at my place.”

“I don’t know quite what I mean. We may have to take it slowly, for this is new to all of us.”

“True. Alastair has been fucking all three of us; I am surprised he hasn’t been exhausted on his ‘club’ nights by the time he got home.”

“Actually, I found him even more loving on these nights. It must have been guilt driving him to make it up to me.”

“I can believe that. He really loves you; keeps talking about you; obviously feeling guilty at loving me too. See you at five, Melissa.” Come five o’clock, two cars drew up on the street outside. Melissa watched as a woman got out of each car, and stood on the pavement looking at the house. She was far enough back from the window that she was not visible to them, but it gave her a chance to get a first view. The taller buxom one looked apprehensive, but was reassured by the other woman, who led the way to the door. At the sound of the doorbell, Melissa checked her clothing and hair in the hall mirror before opening the door. The two visitors stood there.

“Come in, come in, ladies,” Melissa welcomed them. Jane came in first, and Melissa kissed her on both cheeks, but Jane switched and kissed her on the mouth. Jane then whipped her outer coat off and hung it on the hall rack of coat hooks, leaving Melissa to welcome the new woman. Surprised, Melissa then greeted Euphemia.

“Welcome, Mrs Templar,” and kissed her on both cheeks. The tall woman responded in embarrassment, “Please call me Effie. I am divorced from Templar. I just use my married name at school, for convenience.”

“Fine. Effie it is.”

“Do I call you Mrs Johnston, or Melissa?”

“Melissa. Mrs Johnston is so formal, and we don’t want to be formal together from now on.”

“From now on? You don’t hate me?”

“Why should I hate you, Effie? Let me take your coat and hang it up.”

“Because of what I did with Alastair. I am sorry about that, but I was desperate.”

“You must tell me more. Your blackmailing of Jane was completely unneccessary.”

“How is that?”

“Alastair and I have only one child, and I can’t have another. I would like more, so I tolerated Alastair having a bit on the side, in hopes of getting more children that way. I didn’t tell him that, of course!” She paused before adding, “I didn’t know about you as an extra though, Effie. That was a surprise.” While Effie stood with her mouth open, Melissa was aware of the rigid tableau, and moved it along.

“Please, ladies, come through to the living room and sit down wherever you want, except for that armchair: that is Alastair’s favourite seat. An aperatif? Sherry? We have an excellent dry sherry that we need to open.” Both accepted the offer, and Melissa went to the drinks trolley to open the bottle and pour the sherries for the three of them. Alastair would not be home till his normal time of half five. Melissa handed Jane her sherry glass, then turned to Effie.

“Here you are, my dear. I must hear about your life, and what drove you to intrude on Jane and Alastair’s love trysts.” Efiie accepted the glass and swigged the contents down in a couple of gulps. She waved off Melissa’s eyebrow question of a refill.

“That is enough for me, thanks. My life is terribly common, I am sorry to say. Charles and I grew up together as next-door neighbours, so we were friends all our lives. Our parents decided we would eventually marry, and got us to accept that presumption without questioning it. Eventually we married, but Charles was a great disappointment to me. He went through the routine of married life, but his heart was not in it; nor was mine. We both trained as teachers, but ended up teaching at different schools. Charles met a woman at his school, a widow with two young children after a car accident killed her husband, and she was a bit ‘needy’, constantly needing to be reassured. Charles filled that need and over time things developed and he fell for her and got her pregnant. He confessed to me that he wanted to marry her, and asked for a divorce. I agreed, with the usual division of assets to my advantage, even without children. That was a year ago, and I got more and more horny until I found out about Jane’s ‘man on the side’. I decided I wanted part of that deal, and that is why the ‘blackmail’ threat that I never intended to take further. It was merely a device to get access to a good-looking and generous man, and that man happened to be Alastair. Alastair turned out to be a great guy. He is devoted to you and was already feeling very guilty about loving Jane, but even more, he hated that I might destroy his marriage so acceded to my demands. I soon changed my mind about simply having sex and really took to him, seeing in him what Jane did; and what you must have done when you married him. Please don’t punish him for my interference. I couldn’t take that, as it would have been all my fault.” Melissa patted her shoulder, and said, “I know how Alastair feels. I was surprised when I found out about Jane, but was hoping we could persuade her to have a child for us to love, a sister or brother for Timothy. I know nothing about you, but you are fairly recent in Alastair’s life. How committed are you to Alastair, Effie? Enough to want to stay with Alastair, Jane and myself? Enough to have Alastair’s children?” Effie stared at Melissa in confusion, having arrived fearful of being rejected out of hand, but now being offered a place in a ménage à quatre ; one more than a ménage à trois. She stammered, “I would love to be with Alastair all the time, and have his children. Is that only possible as an extra to your marriage?”

“Effie, if what I have been told by a strange person is true, there is a distinct possibility of a multiple marriage between Alastair and the three of us. The thing is, we would have to leave England, leave the entire UK, and leave Earth itself, to move to another planet where I am told there is a thriving human colony. Apparently this colony has different rules about marriage: no restrictions to a single spouse, for example. Religion is another much simplified matter: one Church of Rehome, with a simplified credo, that of love; that one I do not understand, but apparently it is official colony policy.”

“I don’t know if I can believe that tale, as I have never heard of any colonies on other planets. Surely they are too far away to get to in a reasonable time?” There was a noise at the door, as Alastair opened it with his key and walked in. He called out, “I saw the cars outside, Melissa. Does that mean the ladies have arrived?”

“They have, and you neglected to inform me of the visitors being here for tea. Thank goodness Jane phoned me and told me all about it. I have just met Mrs Templar, or Effie as she prefers to be called. She is a nice woman underneath her criminal attempt at blackmail. Do you want her to join me and Jane in matrimony? She is aggreeable to having children, she says.”

“Good God! You have got that far already? You didn’t wait to hear what I might have found out?” He entered the room where they were.

“No, Alastair. You failed to keep me informed earlier of your paramours, so I am doing my own research face to face.”

“Sorry about that, my love. I was scared to tell you what was going on.”

“Go and wash your hands before we have our tea; it is fish soufflé; oh, and you can pop next door and collect our son from the neighbours. He will be glued to their TV, watching kids programmes. Tea will be a ready in a few minutes, so be sharp about it.”

“Yes, dear.” He hurried back out the front door on that errand. Effie asked, “How old is your son, Melissa?”

“As I am sure Alastair has told you, he is three, but is clever for his age. I am not too sure how he will feel about having three mummies in the future.” This started the other women on the subject of children. Effie explained that when she got married, they decided to put off having children for a few years so that they could both work and be able to pay off the mortgage much earlier.

“That has ended up with the marriage in ruins and no children either; perhaps best that way. Children are the ones who are most affected by a divorce.” Melissa contributed, “I got the impression that there is no divorce on the planet Rehome. I wonder how that works?” Jane suggested, “Perhaps a separation arrangement?”

“Perhaps, but in a small colony, it is not easy to maintain enough distance for that to work. You might be meeting every day, somewhere.” Alastair was soon back with Timothy in his arms. He passed her to Melissa, who asked, “Have you been a good boy, over at Mrs Ferguson’s house?”

“Yes, Mummy.” He looked at the strange women in his house, and asked straight out, “Who are these pretty ladies, Mummy?”

“They are friends of Daddy, my sweet. We might be moving home soon, and they might be coming with us.”

“Oh, good. I like pretty ladies, like in the nursery.” Melissa explained to the others, “He goes to a nursery class several times a week.” Jane smiled and suggested, “He has an eye for the ladies, it seems.” Timothy bobbed up and down in his mother’s arms. “I like pretty ladies!” Jane held out her arms. “Can I take him for a while?” Melissa handed over her boy, and he wrapped his arms round Jane’s neck to hold on tight, unsure of how safe he was, being held by this strange woman.