Chapter 3: First Impressions

Sophia looked down at the round platform in front of her with a strange mixture of hope and trepidation.

It didn’t look like much. It was perhaps a quarter meter in height and maybe 3 meters in diameter. Lit a soft white by some light source within it, its upper edge was lined with a light green light. Sophia had seen the ring change to red as it was transporting others up.

It was probably large enough for three to five people to fit upon it with little problem, but while Calix had been changing, the eight women had decided to use the pad in pairs. Well, seven of the eight had agreed. Alicia had just worn a scowl the entire time. As the eight began pairing up, Sophia had immediately grabbed Whiskey’s hand. Sophia wasn’t sure if it was the girl’s youth – she’d just turned fourteen a few weeks earlier – or because Whiskey just hadn’t bonded as closely to Calix as she and Brianna had, but the younger girl was noticeably nervous. She returned the girl’s grateful smile as their hands entwined.

Sophia pulled the younger girl along as she mounted the platform. She could feel the girl’s grip tighten as Whiskey worked to fight her nerves. Her eyes turned just as Whiskey’s eyes closed so she completely missed the transition from Earth to the Moon. Only a light tingle along her skin and a slight popping in her ears made her look up from the younger girl’s face. The change in light had her befuddled for a moment but then she gasped and her eyes grew wide.

She hadn’t known what to expect but it wasn’t this. This was almost – mundane. They were in a rather large circular room. The pad they were standing on sat somewhat off-center with another, somewhat larger pad a short distance away. Glass extended away from her on both sides, clear panes displaying a panorama of stark gray sand and some mountains of various shades of gray off in the distance. Above those peaks, the sky through that glass was blacker than anything she’d ever seen, but it was also nearly aglow with pinpoints of light of various sizes.

Above and below the glass was shiny metal, its color tinged slightly red, providing an accent to the stark, almost black and white landscape it displayed. It was as if someone had decided the dearth of color required an accent to prove eyes could still recognize the difference. Above the top metallic strip was an off-white wall providing a counterpoint to the depth of the inky blackness shown in the long window. Below the bottom strip was a seemingly incongruous panel of stark, shining wood.

Sophia shivered a bit. The air here was slightly cooler than where she’d left ... and then, it hit her. She’d left. She was no longer on the Earth. If she had any doubt, the large blue orb, speckled with greens and browns and swirls of white hanging in the middle of all the darkness cast it away. She was on the moon, looking down – up – AT her world far away.

Her dreams, and so much more than her dreams, were being fulfilled. Or would begin being fulfilled when the man she’d fallen in love with finally took her back to bed. She was still a little irked at him. He’d made her wait until he seduced Brianna and Whiskey into becoming his as well.

A man. Yes, Calix was a man. Even if he was eight years younger than her. Even if he wasn’t yet eighteen years old. Even if he would never graduate from high school. Calix was a planner. A thinker.

A doer.

Calix was a leader of men with the mind of a genius and the body of a god. She couldn’t help being thankful he was her man.

Her man. He was that, too – sort of. She’d never be his one and only – her dreams had failed miserably there – but then, such had never been a firm requirement. How could it be? She’d been used and abused by her mother and father since she was a toddler. Her family – her parents, her aunts and uncles, even her cousins and who knew who else – had molested her as long back as she could remember. They’d never bothered to keep themselves to one partner, no matter whom they married.

So she’d lost faith in the one-man, one-woman myth. For a while, she’d reveled in showing it to be the falsehood it was. She couldn’t remember the number of men she’d slept with. She’d gone through most of the entire Cholos crew and even some of their friends.

Then, she’d met Calix and despite herself she’d done the one thing she never wanted to do. She fell in love.

She lamented it. She didn’t want to love anyone. Love brought pain – she’d seen it in the death-spiral of her family’s lives. She tried to work through it, to get rid of it. She looked for flaws in Calix, looked for the similarities to her family she knew had to be there.

Except, they weren’t. Her father was greedy and self-absorbed. He didn’t care about anyone but himself – and where he was going to plant his dick next. Calix was kind and gentle and – despite everything she tried – perfect. About the only thing he shared with her father was a certain handsomeness – but even then, Calix was never more than lightly tanned and sported short, sandy brown hair while her father wore his dark, almost black hair long and in a ponytail.

A white boy. She’d fallen in love with a gringo. She wondered what her family would say to that. There weren’t many white boys in her past. She knew what Maria, her surrogate sister, would say. Simpatico, she’d say, you should be with someone who is simpatico. You should be with someone who shares what and who you are.

Calix was simpatico.

Whiskey was nervous.

She could at least admit that to herself. Being nervous wasn’t a new thing. There were fairly lengthy periods of time – generally, whenever she had to spend over-long periods of time near her father – where she was pretty constantly nervous.

This was different. Her father was nowhere near. Instead, she was caught up in a host of girls who had dedicated themselves to a single guy. To add to her discomfort, she had no clothes on and she found she didn’t have enough hands to hide all of her hidden treasures, miniscule as they might be. She felt exposed and terrified and nervous and a whole host of other feelings she couldn’t even begin to classify.

She wasn’t even quite sure why she’d done it. She wasn’t sure why she’d agreed to travel to the stars with Calix. She’d really wanted to stay behind. She wanted to stay with her mother and to stay with the familiar life she’d already been living.

Her mother, however, had almost demanded this. Her mother had convinced her if Calix were to ask, she should go. If Calix agreed to take her away from Earth’s impending doom, she should go and not look back – and never lament leaving her mother behind. She’d obeyed her mother, naturally ... and now the die was cast.

She let herself be led up on the platform, certain she was going to heave up her last meal in nervous agony on its pretty, glowing surface. As she stood there, her hand clammy inside Sophia’s, she’d closed her eyes and clenched her teeth, doing everything she could to hold her food down.

She’d felt ... something. A difference. A change. A shift inside of herself that seemed both mundane and profound at the same time. She heard Sophia gasp beside her and, despite her growing discomfort, opened her eyes.

And then opened them even wider.

The room she was in was beautiful. Stark, severe but alive with rounded edges and swirling strokes. The first thing her eyes took in was the panoramic view of light glittering off a grayish sand which seemed to shift and move in front of her. Further off, stark peaks of darkness and light were set against a backdrop of deepest black. In the center of the darkness, almost directly in front of her, a rounded blue orb alive with greens and browns and tans and yellows, with a swirling, chaotic vortex of clouds providing dramatic counterpoint to the pitch black carpet flecked with dots of light hanging behind it.

She turned a circle, temporarily releasing Sophia’s hand but then clutching desperately at it again as she came back around. The window shone in almost a complete circle around her, the sand and mountains and flecks of light changing as she moved. The scale of the beauty took her breath from her.

Above and below the glass, a shiny mirror-like metal with a rose hue set off the stark landscape. It was a mirrored surface, reflecting a transcendent awe of gaping faces and flashing lights. It was a reminder of the insignificance of the people staring transfixed at the vista presented to them. Below rosy metal lay the glossy sheen of wood, counterpoint of the lifelessness in the landscape itself. Above it, an off-gray wall incompletely mimicked the bright gray of the moon’s sandy soil.

She was still mesmerized by the artistic beauty in front of her as she let herself be led by the hand off the platform and down onto soft, velveteen carpet. For a moment, caught in the beauty of the lunar base, she’d forgotten she was nude but the feel of the carpet on her naked feet reminded her. She suddenly pulled her hand from Sophia’s as she tried desperately to huddle and hide, even as she tried to follow the older woman.

Yes, she still followed Sophia even as she broke her hand free – but then she’d been doing it a lot lately. Following Sophia. Listening to her. Taking the woman’s advice. Even more so than Brianna, Sophia had been her friend. Of the two, she trusted Sophia more.

She considered the thought, realizing it was true. She wondered when it had happened. She couldn’t quite determine the exact moment when Sophia had become more trustworthy than Brianna. She’d known Brianna longer – they’d gone to school together since the third grade – but Sophia had just naturally taken over. It was a mystery.

Except, it wasn’t. Sophia was her friend without strings. Brianna, she recognized, had ulterior motives. She’d often glanced at the diminutive redhead when the girl didn’t know she was looking. She’d seen the looks and recognized them – from boys, and a few other girls. Her father. Brianna lusted after her – and she couldn’t trust someone who lusted after her.

Except Calix. But, then, Calix had never ogled her. She’d never seen the speculative look in his eye or the anticipating smirk on his face. Oh, he’d made it clear he cared for her and she could tell he loved her, though he was a bit wary of her. She also wasn’t foolish enough to think he didn’t want her body – there’d been enough clues and blushes but the older boy had never done anything more than hug or kiss her.

He worried for her. He was worried about her. It was a good thing. It was something she’d never thought she’d ever see in a man’s eyes or face. He was genuine with her – and genuinely cared about her. She found it a strange sensation – and one she wasn’t prepared for. She had no defenses against it – which scared her.

All Calix had offered her, since she’d met him, was protection. Comfort. Space. He’d been her guard and her savior ever since – that weekend.

She never thought she’d survive that weekend. Each moment brought something new, some new pain. They’d raped her – Tomas and Torino, the new leaders of the Cholos once Rico was dead – they’d raped her over and over and over. Sometimes together, sometimes separately. They’d tied her to the bed and spent the entire weekend with their dirty, stinking cocks in one of her holes. They’d cut her and ripped her and made her bleed – and they didn’t care. ‘Blood in,’ they’d said as she watched the blood streaming from her torn and violated cunt.

She’d tried to scream but Tomas just filled her mouth with his cock. She’s bitten down – but he’d seen her jaw tightening and punched her in the stomach, making her open her mouth in pain. Then, he’d pulled his dick out and put a gun to her head.

She’d stopped fighting after that. Mostly. They’d rammed their cocks down her throat. They’d rammed their cocks in her pussy. In her ass. Sometimes they did both at once. Torino couldn’t get enough of her ass but Tomas was more practical – he took whatever hole he was nearest to. Sometimes it’d hurt so bad, Torino in her ass and Tomas in her cunt – or Tomas in her mouth and Torino in her ass – or Torino in her mouth and Tomas in her cunt – or ... there were endless varieties and she’d lived them all over and over and over.

She wiped the tears from her eyes quickly. She still had nightmares of that weekend. She still relived it in her head sometimes. It was why she’d not tried harder to get into Calix’s bed ... into anyone’s bed. If that was sex, she didn’t ever want to experience it again. She couldn’t experience it again. She’d rather die than experience it again.

Calix had never pushed her. He was – he’d shielded her. He’d cared for her. He’d taken her to the doctor – things he didn’t have to do.

And he’d killed for her. Oh, she knew he had his own reasons – but she knew he had done it, at least in part, for her. He’d found the men who hurt her and – just like Sophia had related about Calix and Sophia’s abusive family – he’d made them pay. Permanently.

Sadly, it didn’t make the pain go away like she thought it would. Knowing Tomas and Torino were dead - knowing she’d been avenged – it didn’t make everything better. Sometimes, it seemed to make things worse. She had the nightmares more often now instead of less often. She wondered if they’d ever truly go away.

Calix. Her mind always thought back to Calix. She was going to have to fuck Calix. She knew it – she knew she loved him, felt love for him, but she just didn’t know how she’d be able to screw him and survive.

Brianna and Tamara watched Sophia grab Whiskey’s hand, and without thought and at about the same time, reached for each other’s hand. They fumbled blindly for a moment, their eyes watching the two women in front of them suddenly vanish and then – again at virtually the same time – turned to clasp hands firmly. Their eyes rose from their joined hands, and though for different reasons, the two young women started giggling uncontrollably. Brianna was laughing in relief at finally joining her parents in the stars while Tamara was laughing at the absurdity of the whole situation.

“Sometime today,” intoned the Marine at the two young women but it just started them giggling even harder.

Still, they turned, and though their giggles became more nervous, stepped up on the platform. Each of them took a deep breath, and braced for whatever came next.

Brianna’s eyes were wide when the transition came. She was slightly disappointed when the dark, muted colors of the restaurant just sort of lost focus as the brighter room of the moon base seemed to solidify around her. She’d expected something more monumental, and the subdued change was anti-climactic.

In stark contrast, the room itself was incredible. She saw wonder and majesty in everything around her. She’d had little time to dream recently and even less time to read, but when she was younger she was an avid science fiction and fantasy fan. She’d grown up on the wondrous tales by Heinlein and Azimov and Zelazny and Brooks and Eddings and Asprin and Anthony and Rowling and Breaker. Her father had spent hours tucking her into bed, reading to her until her eyes would close and she’d be whisked off to dreams of other worlds, of other realities, of science and magic.

Now, here, all around her was the culmination of all of those hopes and dreams and flights of fancy. She was out there, out amongst the stars. Just a small step for now but it would lead to bigger steps and bigger things and further adventures. Her recent life had been one of hardship and sacrifice, because while the Confederacy had paid off her parents’ house so she and her sisters could live there and had even given the young girls a stipend, Detroit had taxed the money – they called it the Confederacy tax – until there was nothing left. So, she’d had to struggle and work so her and her sisters could survive.

She’d never complained. She’d never even thought of complaining. She was more than willing to sacrifice everything she had and everything she was so her sisters could live without pain or worry. It was her duty to them. It was her duty to her family.

It didn’t escape her that her family had become so much bigger no more than a few hours ago. At least, it was how she’d chosen to look at it. Her family had gotten bigger. Not a conventional family by any stretch of the imagination but then she’d never been quite a conventional girl. She looked over to Sophia and Whiskey, and moved towards them as she stepped off the brightly lit pad.

She couldn’t help the hunger she felt, the anticipation that washed over her face. Sex wasn’t a small thing to Brianna. It didn’t consume her or anything, but she’d been free to sample deeply of her libido since her parents had been picked up. She’d found a power within her, a power to control others. It was – difficult for her to resist.

She was small. Tiny. She’d been laughed at and overlooked for most of her life. So, when her tits had grown and her figure molded, she found the ability to control all of these bigger people – these people who had discarded her earlier in her life – a heady enticement. She’d reveled in it for a long time.

And then realized it was empty. The sex was awesome and a pleasant diversion but going through boys and girls – and even some men and women – wasn’t fulfilling her. The people she’d slept with ultimately didn’t care about her. She’d just traded one form of being discarded for another.

It wasn’t easy to put the genie back in the bottle – and she’d found she had an incredibly over-active libido - but she’d stopped. She put away the hyper-sexed part of her. She wanted the brass ring. She wanted to be with a man or woman who was going to treat her as an equal. She wanted someone who would sleep with her and still care about her afterwards. It was clichéd but someone who would make love to her and still respect her in the morning.

She’d found everything she could want in Calix. She’d not slept with him – not yet – but she found she didn’t need to. He respected her already. He treated her as an equal from the start. His presence had assaulted her from the beginning of their sophomore year of high school and she found herself unable to form words around him. Every time he was near – in the classroom, in the hallways – she found herself tongue-tied, unable to form a complete sentence around him.

And he’d been similarly enamored of her, she’d found later. Neither could voice what they wanted around the other. It was a vicious cycle. It was a terrible circle.

Which made this room, this circular room, absolutely perfect. A good omen. A sign of the journey she’d begun with the man she’d wanted almost from the first moment she’d met him.

Eyeing Sophia and Whiskey again, she couldn’t help but smile. And there were fringe benefits. Sophia. Whiskey. Heather. Others. She doubted she’d ever feel the ache again. She would never again feel the need in her loins she’d spent so much time ignoring and leaving unfulfilled. She’d ignored the sexual part of herself for so long, thanks to prejudice and rumor, the world had started to become a very bleak, dark place.

Now, though, the world was brighter. She was free. She was free to live her life the way she wanted. She was free to share her joys and happiness with her sisters – and the rest of her suddenly huge family. She was free to be the only thing she’d ever truly wanted. She was free to be a mother and wife and mate – mate to quite a few very attractive women as well as one very manly man.

She giggled a joyous sound, as she thought back to the tall, amazingly wide young man with short blonde hair. It wasn’t exactly as she’d dreamed. Life had thrown her a curve ball or two. Instead of being a solitary mate to a solitary man, she was just one of many.

Yet, it didn’t matter. It was actually better than she could have possibly imagined. It didn’t matter because the man whom fate had placed in her path had a heart large enough to love a great many. He was everything she’d dreamed of in those long-ago days when she was listening to Corwin walk shadow or Belgarion falling in love with Ce’nedra or Stile finally saying “thee, thee, thee” to the Lady Blue. He was a hero made of flesh and blood. He was her own glistening white knight taking her to the heavens.

In truth, being one of many was going to be a magnificent benefit rather than a troublesome burden. She’d played with her sisters in those long-ago days, their dolls lying around them taking the place of the children they each hoped to have. The three girls had always played with their dolls together even though she was eldest by three years and they’d always spoke of raising their children together, of being in the same household. Only now, when she was older, did she realize what it would mean – and she shivered in delight there might be a way for it to become a reality.

Brianna shook herself from her musings, the smile still brightening her face, and took careful inventory of her surroundings. The room she found herself in was rounded – maybe circular or possibly ovoid. While magical in the sense of her final freedom, she found it was – functional was the only word which came to mind. It seemed not too different than her grandfather’s office in Belfast she’d visited two summers before but she found it a benefit rather than a detriment. She’d loved her grandfather’s office, and the similarities between the two places added warm feelings to this place. Her grandfather’s corner office had windows on two sides similar to the long window which seemed to wrap around the room.

Of course, her grandfather’s office’s windows were composed of separate panes while this one appeared to be one long, unbroken pane but it wasn’t really so different. The office windows even had the same kind of steel casing above and below, though the ones around this room were wider and more decorative.

The wood paneling under the windows was different. Her grandfather’s office was more of a no-frills version of this room – it had only white walls above and below the windows. She could also sit on the small bay area beneath her grandfather’s windows. It had a small, shallow area where the buildings heat came up through small slits in the bay. The window here was fairly flush with the wall itself. To make the comparison complete, there were several grouped seating areas scattered around the room similar to the waiting area in her grandfather’s offices.

Tamara was struck by how new and ordered the room was. Not necessarily the occupants who were largely scattered around the room, some laughing and some arguing and some doing who knew what, but the room itself was ordered and organized. She could tell great thought had been given to every single detail, from the view which greeted her to the placing of the platforms, and even the almost haphazard way the seating areas were scattered around the room. The seating areas were so obviously random they were actually ordered, almost equidistant from each other.

It reminded her, oddly enough, of the many sides of Calix himself.

She’d not really known Calix long and she wasn’t even sure she could claim she knew him now, but she’d listened at the awe and pride in Rico’s voice when he’d often talked of his step-cousin. She knew of Calix from the conversations Rico had with his parents and with her sister. She knew of him from the way he talked to Rico and Alicia. She knew of him from the way he’d handled Alicia in the recent months and she knew of him from the way he played with little Amelia.

She had studied him lately. If she were forced to be completely truthful, she had studied him for as long as she’d known him. There was always a rather one-sided attraction between them – she mooned for him and he remained clueless. As she studied him, she became puzzled at his economy of motion.

When Alicia walked it was expansive, her arms wide and always moving. When Rico walked, it had been like a general, his motions furtive and cautious. When Calix moved, there was no superfluous motion. He kind of glided, his arms making a minimum of motion, his stride purposeful and no-nonsense.

The room was like Calix. It had a purpose and it would perform its purpose no matter what. Calix had a purpose – whatever that purpose was, and Tamara was aware it changed from time to time – but like the room, he’d fulfill it no matter what. Capable of amazing feats of savagery but also amazing acts of gentleness, Calix was a living, breathing mass of conflicting points.

And Tamara could tell the room had a duality to it as well. It was meant to awe with its vistas of the moon and the sight of the Earth hanging in the distance. It was also meant to welcome people into their future.

Sadly, duality described Tamara’s sister as well and the thought brought a knot to the pit of her stomach – a knot which just wouldn’t go away. She knew she was here on borrowed time. She knew Alicia had browbeaten Calix into bringing her along. Sure, Rico had often spoken of taking her with them to the stars, but she knew his promise had died with him. She’d not expected Calix to take up his mantle. She’d not even considered it until Alicia had proclaimed it a done deal.

She loved her sister. She loved her with every fiber of her being, but she didn’t like her very much. Alicia was temperamental, self-centered, and conniving and her fantasy world didn’t often coincide with reality. It was all the more impressive that she got away with as much as she did. Tamara’s older sister didn’t seem to care for anyone but herself. Yes, the older girl made allowances for her younger sister but Tamara was convinced it was merely so she didn’t look bad to others.

Tamara looked around but only peripherally. She wasn’t sure how this was going to work. She knew Alicia was going to mess it up, so she didn’t want to get too comfortable. She hoped Calix would at least have them take her back to Earth where she could live a few years before the Sa’arm came - but she wasn’t holding her breath. Calix was honorable, and he’d do what he could but there was only so much the older boy could do. In the end, neither choice would make a difference. Dead was dead, after all.

Her thoughts brought the latest image of Calix to her mind, the sight of him dressed in that form-fitting black Navy uniform. Black was definitely Calix’s color. He had looked so strong in that suit, so – controlled.

When he looked at her, there had been such a look of compassion on his face. He’d looked so concerned, and it warmed her to know he was worried about her. She knew it wouldn’t last, though. She couldn’t count on her sister for much but she could certainly count on Alicia to ruin this chance at happiness. Calix had called her pretty and taken her with him – but Tamara knew it was only a matter of time before Alicia destroyed any concern the boy had left.

Tamara knew his sense of honor would force him to do whatever he could to help her. It was just she knew the one thing she wanted – the one thing she needed – he couldn’t do. Not once Alicia fucked it up ... and Alicia would fuck it up. It was what Alicia did.

Still, it was her birthday and tradition stated she got a birthday wish. She knew what her birthday wish was – and what she hoped her future would be, too.

Alicia watched furiously as the tiny redhead and her traitorous sister disappeared. She grit her teeth impatiently, waiting for the platform ring to turn from red to green again. As she waited, she wondered yet again when she’d lost control of this whole situation.

She’d been so sure she could eventually wrap Calix around her finger. She’d thought the addition of Francesco and Bob had been masterful. She’d planned to use them as bargaining chips, arguing for their inclusion but eventually compromising and dropping Bob while keeping Francesco for herself. It would quickly establish her dominance as they moved forward and certainly Calix wouldn’t ever think she’d let him crawl between her thighs. She shivered in disgust at the thought.

Alicia was also fairly certain Tamara wouldn’t be treated too badly. Calix kept himself rather clean, and she was half convinced he was probably gay or at least bi so Tamara wouldn’t have to put out for him very often. The way Rico talked about him, Alicia was fairly sure the two of them had been lovers.

It wasn’t like she minded. As long as Rico came back to her every night he could fuck whomever he wanted – male or female. She knew how marriages worked. She’d seen it with her own parents, her father fucking everything that moved and her mother remaining faithful.

So how had she lost control? The Calix at the pick-up had not been the one she’d dealt with for the past few months. The Calix of the past few months had put up a good show of fighting her but he’d always folded like a cheap shirt. She had been certain she’d get her way. Heck, she was half convinced she wouldn’t even have to compromise about Francesco or Bob.

So where had this Calix come from? Had he been hiding the entire time? Had he been playing her??

Alicia’s eyes narrowed shrewdly. That was impossible. No one played her. She was the puppeteer, never the puppet. She’d led Rico around by the nose for the past few years; she was certain she could do the same with his cousin. It would just take some work. Probably he’d been showing off for the Marines at the pickup.