Chapter 28: Remorse

Tamara stretched as she woke. She hurt – her tummy was tight and moving caused some discomfort. Below, her coochie seemed raw and she reminisced for a moment about how it had managed to get to such a state.

‘My pussy,’ she thought to herself, giggling. ‘It had been a coochie but Calix and I made sure it became a pussy last night.’

It hadn’t lasted all night, like she’d hoped, but had lasted until well into the morning. She really had no idea what time she’d finally passed out, but she was sure it had been late. She felt too well-fucked for it not to have been.

She liked the sound of those words. She’d been well-fucked. She’d been well-fucked by Calix. After all her time pining over him, she’d finally done the deed, and it was even better because she knew she’d be doing the deed with him a lot. She was going to have his baby, after all. Getting pregnant would take time.

She frowned. Only it hadn’t been fucking – at least, not all of the time. Alicia had told her it would be over in a few minutes. Men just took what they want and left the woman wanting.

Calix hadn’t. There had been times when the two of them simply went at it but she thought it had been more passionately than just Calix taking what he wanted. It had been... sharing, she decided. She shared herself with Calix and he shared herself with him. It made all the difference.

Not for the first time she noticed Alicia and reality didn’t often belong in the same sentence. An oxymoron. Her older sister lived in a self-centered fantasy world. Alicia didn’t appear to have any idea how the real world worked.

She rolled over slowly, reveling in the slight discomfort from her stomach muscles, the walls and lips of her vagina, and even the muscles of her thighs. It was deliciously painful – deliciously naughty. It was a pain she could definitely get used to. She sincerely hoped she’d get the chance. Maybe not every night – she wasn’t sure she could handle many nights like last night all in a row – but often.

Calix was gone – but she’d known it would happen. She didn’t think he slept much, always seeming to be up late and awake or gone early. Still, she pulled one of his pillows to her face and inhaled. It still smelled like him. She liked the smell.

She lay for a few minutes, reveling in his scent. Finally, with a sigh, she rolled over and sat on the edge of the bed. She didn’t want to get up – she wanted to just lay in bed, wrapping herself in Calix’s smell – but she knew it was time to rise.

She stood, absently fingering her collar, considering her options. She could take a shower – but she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to wash his scent away. She didn’t want to wash any part of him away. She wanted to feel the wonder of last night for as long as she could.

She opted for the shower anyway, mostly because she knew she had sweat quite a bit last night and she didn’t think it was fair for the others to have to put up with her stink. Besides, she’d always have the memories of last night.

Clean, she walked out of Calix’s room – and almost straight into her older sister.

“Finally finished being a fucking brood cow?” Alicia sniped.

Tamara had always lived in Alicia’s shadow. She’d always deferred to her older sister. She’d always followed the older woman’s orders. She’d always put up with her schemes and machinations.

It wasn’t any kind of respect. She feared Alicia. Alicia had always been older. She’d always been bigger. She’d always tormented Tamara. She’d always been the queen and Tamara had always been the peasant.

As Tamara stood there, looking up into her older sister’s eyes, she couldn’t find the ability to cower before Alicia any longer. She was still shorter than the older woman – she stood about a hundred sixty-five centimeters to her sister’s hundred seventy – but she didn’t feel ‘less than’ her any longer.

She suddenly realized she was a woman now in all senses of the word. She was an equal to her sister, not a frightened little girl who had to constantly defer. As the thought came over her, she realized it had been coming for a while. It had started when Calix moved in but had really become clear when he’d accepted her. It had become obvious when he’d told her she was his whether Alicia was here or not. She just hadn’t seen it at the time. Making love with him last night had just solidified it.

Even as she realized she wasn’t beholden to her sister any longer, she began to pity Alicia. She finally understood what Alicia’s problem truly was. The enmity between the older woman and Calix was all one-sided. At least, it had started out one-sided.

It wasn’t because Alicia truly hated Calix or couldn’t stand him. She couldn’t stand the thought she couldn’t control him.

Tamara understood it because she knew she was about to be placed on the other side of that enmity. Her older sister could control her no longer. Tamara wouldn’t allow it. She would never again allow herself to be the scared little girl who lived under her older sister’s thumb. Their relationship was going to have to change – and it was not likely to be an amicable change. Alicia hated what she couldn’t control – and Tamara would never allow herself to be controlled by Alicia ever again.

“I feel sorry for you, Alicia,” Tamara said sadly.

“You?? Feel sorry for me?” Alicia asked sarcastically. “That’s fucking rich.”

“I pity you because you could have whatever you want,” Tamara continued. “All you’d have to do is give up control and let someone else be in charge. You can’t, though. You’re willing to push things right to the very raggedy edge and beyond, because you think the world should revolve around you. It doesn’t. No matter what you think, it never has. Rico gave in to you because the things you wanted just didn’t matter to him. He was happy to let you live your life and give you whatever you demanded because all you wanted were things, and he didn’t care about things. The only arguments you ever had were about the Cholos or family. They were important to him. You thought you were in charge and graciously compromising on those – but if you’d pressed them, you never would have won.”

Tamara’s face grew firm. “Just like you’re never going to win now. What you care about now are also what Calix cares about. He will fight for them. You’re never going to be the queen of his family. You’re never going to be the one in charge. It boggles my mind you ever thought you were. It would have been better if you’d never come up here. At least on Earth, you had a chance.”

“Fuck you, little sister,” Alicia snarled. “You let that fucking dickhead between your legs and now you think you know it all. You don’t know shit. You think just because you gave him a little pussy you’re better than me? The fuck you are. You’ll never be better than me. You’ll always be my little bitch. I’ll have that fucker wrapped around my finger before this is all over – and I’ll make you eat shit every day just to remind you I’m the one in charge. So, fuck you and fuck your little feelings. I always get what I want.”

“You are such a bitch,” Tamara commented.

“FUCK YOU!”

“No,” Tamara shouted, her anger rising. “Fuck you! Maybe you should let him between your legs because it might give you some fucking goddamn perspective. Heck – just let him eat your fucking pussy. You’ll be so happy, you’ll go stupid and might get out of your own way.”

“Fuck you!” Alicia screamed. “That boy will never get between my legs.”

“Yeah, like he’d want to get between your rancid thighs!” Tamara retorted. “Heck, licking your pussy would probably poison him. No way he’d stick his head anywhere near your putrid cunt.”