Chapter 1

The phrase “Boardies are for Bogans” is what started one hell of a fun (and naughty) Easter Monday afternoon/evening.

Let me start by making sure everyone knows the definitions. Boardies, refers to board shorts, what I often call dork shorts. Bogan, I feel like is an Australian slang word which I don’t think I’ve heard else where in the world. It will take a little more explaining but here is the online dictionaries attempt:

bo·gan
/?b??(?)n/
noun
INFORMAL•DEROGATORY

an uncouth or unsophisticated person regarded as being of low social status.
“boardies are for bogans”

Yesterday, was Easter Monday and was a lot quieter than in usual years of course. I always have work to do so was sitting around the house doing some work, jumping in the ocean every hour or so and generally just chilling out. I was wearing AussieBum speedos and nothing else all day (photo of me wearing them posted yesterday).

Later in the afternoon, around 4pm or so I felt like a swim so walked down to the ocean and 10 minutes later walked back. As I approached my little pad the neighbour chicks were on their little deck having a drink.

The neighbour chicks (I’m going to call them Ashley and Madison, not their real names but I’m sure you can understand me being discrete) are two Aussie sheilas my age, have lived next door for years. They are great, super nice, we hang out and party a bit and since they have day jobs, they aren’t around most of the time. I have had some drunken naughty experiences with Madison but the next day we both just seem to pretend it didn’t happen and nobody ever talks about it.

I’m not out to any of my local friends and I am pretty discrete even with the neighbours so I don’t think they know of my ‘homosexual habits’. They do see me in my speedo a lot but that isn’t too big a deal here in Australia and I have shagged one of them so I can see them thinking I’m 100% straight.

Sorry for the interlude, that info was for those of you who aren’t regular readers of my blog. Back to Monday afternoon...

Walking up from the beach after my swim I see Ashley and Madison sitting out on their little deck area having a drink and one other person, a guy there as well. The girls were wearing shorts and bikini tops, the guy was wearing boardies and no shirt. He was pretty hot, the girls were looking pretty hot as well but I seen them all the time so didn’t notice as much. They saw me and invited me over for a drink.

I might have had a drink or two already Monday afternoon and I was feeling brave, braver than usual.

So, I just grabbed a beer from my outside fridge and walked the three steps to the neighbours. I was introduced to the shirtless guy, lets call him ... Luke (again, not his real name).

I pulled up a chair and settled into the conversation, which these days is all about the ‘Rona (Aussie’s always shorten names). It was nice just sitting there in my AussieBum speedo and nobody cared or mentioned it. To me this is the way it should be all the time, girls get to strut around in tiny bikinis all the time and nobody cares.

Over the next three rounds of beers I learnt that Luke is the new man in Ashley’s life, but is very new (like two weeks new). There are always new guys coming and going with these two.

Luke seemed like a nice guy and really funny.

As we finished our third beers it was my shout (that is a colloquialism for it being my turn to get beers from my fridge). Since the sun was getting low one of the girls suggested we go for a quick swim before it get too late. Everyone agreed.

I was dressed for a swim wearing nothing but my speedo. The girls both whipped off their little shorty shorts and there was Luke in his dork shorts.

It isn’t my place to hassle anyone, except my friends. But I didn’t have to, Ashley and Madison both started hassling Luke about wearing dork shorts for a swim. It was fun and Luke was taking the joke.

Both the girls were saying how speedos are the new thing and it was Madison who said something that has been burned into my brain “Boardies are for Bogans.”

The girls weren’t going to let him get away with it though. Luke didn’t have any speedos with him, the girls didn’t have any at their place so asked me to go and get Luke a pair.

Sure thing I replied. Ashley said ... make sure they are red and tight Dave.

I was back in a flash with a pair of red speedo solar speedos that are a little too small for me to wear at the pool but I figured would fit Luke perfectly.

Solar is the model name for a type of Speedo brand speedo that has been around for ever. The sides are just 1 inch where normal speedos are at least 2 inches and there is a seam down the middle at the front and back which just somehow seems to accentuate ones butt. I’ve owned several of these over the years and currently have three pairs of solars in my collection.

When I threw them to Luke I expected him to go inside and change, but nope, all three of us were in for a lovely surprise. Luke just dropped his shorts right there in front of us. He didn’t put on a short or stand up and give us a real good look, but he just dropped his shorts and put on the little red speedo.