Chapter 3

Eleven year old Tom slowly walked into Dr Jeffries’ reception room, followed by his parents. After they checked in, the three sat in a corner of the room.

“I’m nervous,” Tom sighed.

Angela took his hand. “Hey. Nothing to worry about, honey. She’ll just talk to us, okay? Ask some questions, ask about things that you remember. Just try to remember and answer what you can, okay?”

“I guess...”

Angela looked at her husband. “Duncan, our appointment was for an hour and a half, right?”

“True—I think it’s a long appointment—maybe because it’s his first visit. Ah, just heard a door close, so I guess we’re next.”

In another minute, the receptionist called them. “Dr Jeffries asks that Mr and Mrs Armstrong go in first. Tommie will be okay waiting out here for a few minutes.”

They rose and Duncan laid his hand on Tom’s shoulder. “You good, sport? Hang in there; we won’t be long.”

Tom smiled faintly. “Sure, Dad, I’m okay.” He held up the tablet with his game in progress.

Duncan gripped his shoulder, gave it a little shake, and grinned. “Good man.”

When the adults entered Dr Jeffries’ office, she rose to shake their hands. After a few brief pleasantries, she remarked, “Dr Gleason sent over some notes from Tommie’s records; he’s written that Tommie is excessively shy about body exposure. He’s tried to talk to Tommie about it and says that Tommie seems to know that his extreme reluctance to be unclothed with anyone is unusual and Tommie appears to be concerned about it too. Dr Gleason notes that he resists taking off his shirt for his exams, for example.”

“Correct,” Duncan agreed, “He won’t take off the shirt at the beach either, or even around home when it’s hot. We recently had an experience at an amusement park that triggered our request for an evaluation.”

“Hmmm, we’ll get to what happened there in a few minutes; first I’d like to go in order and hear about any prior examples of his modesty, to see if there may be any changes over time, and later I’ll talk to Tommie about them. Just so you know, kids Tommie’s age sometimes do have problems with modesty but in his case, it appears to be more severe, perhaps involving some body-image issues. The most common problems like this happen with the onset of puberty but from Dr Gleason’s notes, he’s not there physically yet. Let’s start—personal modesty issues can be associated with social interaction problems. How is he in school? Any reports of his not participating in class, like avoiding verbal presentations or not asking questions?”

Angela shook her head. “Not at all; he’s a good student and the teachers say he participates quite well. He had a big social studies project with two classmates finish last week and they got an ‘A’ on their presentation.”

“Oh, good. What about in social settings? How does Tommie interact with peers?”

Angela nodded. “Well, he only has one real friend—someone who I’d say was a ‘close’ friend, another boy. He’s the only kid who comes to our house. Maybe he doesn’t have more friends because he and his sister—stepsister actually—are so close. They’re always together.”

“His sister is...?”

“Lynette.” Angela offered.

“Lynette is how old?”

“Almost eleven; same age as Tommie; in fact he was born December 10 and she on the twelfth.”

Dr Jeffries nodded. “And how is Tommie with you and other family members? Well behaved? Any unusual behavioral problems?”

“No,” both parents shook their heads. “He’s a good kid. Does his schoolwork and chores without much complaint. Um, usually,” Angela grinned.

“Is he modest with you at home too? Like when bathing or just lounging around?”

Duncan shrugged. “I guess. He never appears out of his room unless he’s fully dressed. I rarely see him wearing his pajamas—and then only in his bedroom. He won’t let his brother or me into the bathroom with him.”

“Does he get along with his brother? How old is he?”

Angela smiled. “Andrew is 13—almost exactly two and a half years older. Andrew dotes on his little brother. He’s very protective of him. And Tommie loves him fiercely.”

Duncan nodded. “After my ex-wife left us, when Tommie was two, Andrew sort of took on the role of his brother’s protector.”

Dr Jeffries made some notes. “May I ask why their mother left?”

“Um, no problem,” Duncan responded. “We met in college; she was a communications major but was really into theater and acting in school performances. After graduating, she got into the local community theater and was quite good, actually. But she wanted to spread her wings and see if she could go pro. There wasn’t much in Toronto for her; she wanted the big time, like Hollywood. Her friends, and also the directors of the plays she was in, told her she wasn’t at Hollywood level but she wouldn’t hear it. My own career opportunities relied on my staying here; I couldn’t think of relocating to the west coast of the U.S. for the remote chance that she’d succeed, and my moving there would net the family a huge pay cut. She was also ... how should I put it ... very self-centered—I guess that’s kind of common in actors ... and ... um ... really wasn’t a very good mom to the kids. She kind of made it clear that they were a drag on her. She became very ... ah ... distant, both to the kids and me, and we parted before our sixth anniversary. Um ... she wasn’t abusive, if you were going to ask that, just very aloof with the kids ... and me.”

“You’re saying that your sons didn’t really have the influence of a loving mother.”

Duncan nodded his head. “Not at all. But I tried to give them as much love as I could, despite her coldness toward them.”

Angela broke in, “Duncan is incredible with the boys—with my daughter too. It’s what drew me to him. They all confide in him about everything; makes me a bit jealous at times,” she grinned. “They go to him first ‘cause he’s kind of a softie but he listens to them so well.”

“You mentioned that your daughter...” Dr Jeffries consulted her notes, “Lynette ... and Tommie are close. Your kids first met when the two of you met?”

“Pretty much,” Duncan agreed. “When we saw that the two of us were clicking, we began to have some ‘family outings’ all together.” He made finger quotes. “Lynette and Tommie, well, they seemed to gravitate together. You’d assume they were twins, they think so much alike.”

“So tell me, before the amusement park incident which you say triggered your seeking help, what prior instances of his modesty can you recall?”

Duncan leaned back in his seat. “This also was earlier this summer. Here’s what happened. You’ll recall how really hot it was then...”

“Hey Mom, Lynette and I wanna go play in the park, okay?” Tom called.

“Just a minute, young man, remember your dad mentioned at dinner last night that he wanted you to help him and Andrew with the lawn?”

“Oh, gee, yeah. I forgot, sorry. Aww...”

Lynette came downstairs. “I heard, Mom. It’s okay, Tommie; say, I’ll stay home and help you. Can I, Mommie? I already finished my own chores. Maybe we’ll finish quicker so we can go to the park?”

Tom turned to her. “Would you help too? Super! Thanks!” He hugged her.

Angela nodded, “Okay, but only if your dad says you can. He should be back from his errand with Andrew any time now.”

Within a few minutes, Duncan pulled into the drive and Tom ran out to the car.

“Hi there, sport,” Duncan called. “Ready to get started?”

“Yeah Dad ... Lynette said she’d help so-if-we-get-done-quick-can-we-go-to-the-park?” Tom asked in a rush.

Duncan turned to Andrew. “What ‘ya say, son? If they work hard, can we let them go?” He winked.

“Sure, Dad,” Andrew smiled. “Not a problem.”

“Okay, you two.” Duncan looked at the ten-year-olds. “I’m on the rider mower and Andrew is using the push mower where the rider won’t go. Tommie, you’ve used the string trimmer before, so you’ll do that. And Lynette, can you do around the edges? Using clippers and this spade here?”

“Yeah, Dad,” she nodded.

Soon they all were at work and before an hour was up, so was the temperature, and Duncan and Andrew had removed their shirts; Lynette was just wearing a bathing suit top with her shorts. When Duncan rode past Tom, he stopped and looked at him. Tom was trimming the grass near a tree, wearing goggles, a tee-shirt, and shorts and sweating profusely.

“Hey, guy,” Duncan called to him, “it’s almost 34 degrees [93̊ F] now and getting hotter! Look how you’re sweating! Take off your shirt, son, and you need to put on your cap, too”

Tom stopped the trimmer. “Um, I’m okay, Dad.”

Duncan got off the rider. “I mean it, son. It’s hot. You need to cool off—you could get heat stroke, you know.” He reached for Tom, who pulled away.

“No, Dad! I’m okay! I’ll ... uh, just get some water—and a hat.”

He ran off to the house and returned several minutes later. When his father looked again, Tom had a cap on but was still in his shirt, so he swung around to him again.

“Aren’t you taking off the shirt?” he called.

“No! I can’t,” Tom responded.

Lynette ran up to them. “Dad, please don’t yell at Tommie; he has to leave his shirt on. Please don’t make him take it off, he can’t do it!”

“What’s this?” Duncan muttered. Aloud he asked, “Lynette, what do you know about Tommie’s shirt? Why he won’t take it off?”

She looked at Tom. “He’s scared or somethin’, Dad.” Tom nodded. “He told me he gets bad feelings if he has no shirt on. He won’t take it off at any time.” Tom nodded again.

Duncan shook his head. “Okay, but I don’t want you to get overheated, son—say, take the hose and wet your shirt—is that okay, sport? That should cool you off a bit.”

Tom nodded and smiled. “Thanks, Dad.”

Duncan finished his recollection, “I told Angela about it later, and she told me she’s noticed that Tommie never goes without a shirt.”

Angela nodded, “I had a similar experience about a week earlier when I took Lynette and Tommie to the beach. It was another pretty hot day. When we got there, it was past noon and the temperature was already pushing 32 degrees [90̊ F]. We were wearing our suits under our clothes, so we took them off, except Tommie kept his shirt on. I asked him if he was planning to go in the water wearing his shirt and he said he was. I couldn’t convince him to take it off and Lynette came to his defense then too.

“Oh, that reminds me; at the neighborhood pool too, he keeps his shirt on. And we’ve tried to give him swimming lessons but he refuses. He’s content to just stay in the shallow end. I know why he’s afraid of the water; he almost drowned when he was eight when some kids pushed him into the pool.”

“Oh really—what happened then?” Dr Jeffries asked.

Angela responded, “He was at the municipal pool with two of his school friends back then and the mom of one of them. Some older kids, maybe 11 or 12 years old and known bullies, as we found out later, began teasing the three 8 year olds, and then they threw Tommie into the deep end of the pool. The deck was crowded and the kids—his friends—didn’t know Tommie couldn’t swim but when they didn’t see him pop up in the water, they got help. He got pulled out but he wasn’t conscious; he had swallowed a lot of water and the lifeguard had to pump it out of him. Getting water in the lungs is really serious! Tommie was in the hospital for three days.”

“Oh my. How was he after that experience?” Dr Jeffries asked.

“Anxious. Withdrawn,” Duncan said. “We got him some therapy, that got him to go back into the water and he got used to it, but he won’t go near water above his waist. He still refuses to learn to swim. The therapist told us when he’s a teen, he’ll probably agree to learn then. I think it’s a high school requirement anyway.”

“Perhaps he will agree to learn,” Dr Jeffries mused. “I think that was good, to expose him to getting back into the water so quickly ... And you mentioned an amusement park incident; one that was the main impetus for bringing Tommie to be seen about his modesty, right?”

“Correct. Let me set the scene; this was about a month ago. We were visiting that big park, you know, Canada’s Wonderland. There was a swimming pool and the kids wanted to use it and unlike the water rides, bathing suits and showers were required. So we told the kids that they needed to go to the locker room to shower and put their suits back on before going in the water. Angela was with Tommie and Andrew and she pointed them to the locker room...

“Go ahead, dear. Andrew will go with you,” Angela said. “You have to take a shower with soap, it’s the rule here.”

Tom frowned. “Um. I changed my mind. I don’t want to go in the water.”

Andrew looked at his anxious brother. “It’s okay, trooper, they probably have shower stalls for privacy. I’ll be with you and watch out for you.”

He reached his hand out and Tom reluctantly took it; then they walked to the locker room. Entering the room, Tom looked around. One half of the room had small lockers and the rest was filled with rows of showers, ten heads along each wall and four heads on each one of four posts which stood in a row down the room’s center. There were about a dozen men and boys showering in the room.

“Andy—wait,” Tom stammered, covering his eyes. “Look, I ... it’s all open! It’s a big room and the showers are ... uh, it’s all open ... no curtains...” He turned away from the showers, still holding his hands over his eyes, and started to cry.

“Oh, okay, you’re right,” Andrew replied as he looked at the large open shower area. He noticed several shower heads in one far corner of the room; none were occupied. “Look there, bro, you can shower in the far corner there and I’ll stand in front of you and hide you, okay?”

Andrew looked at his brother, who had a distressed, no, it was a panic-stricken, look on his face. Tom looked like he was about to throw up.

“No! No ... I ca ... can’t d ... d ... do it, Andy,” he stuttered and sunk to the floor.

“Sure you can ... you can be brave, guy, right? I’ll even hold my towel in front of you, see, like this, okay?” he said, spreading the towel widely.

Tom, sitting on the floor, peered up at his brother and then glanced at the corner shower. Andrew shook the towel temptingly but Tom shook his head and looked down again.

“How’s about if I shower and change first? You can hold the towel for me, then you’ll see there’s nothing scary, okay?”

“Um ... maybe ... I guess...”

Andrew held his hand down and Tom took it, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet.