Chapter 1

“That’s not much of a gift, you know. The gift of obedience! Ha! Who the fuck wants that?” I commented after watching Ella Enchanted with my eighteen-year old niece Tammy for about the thousandth time.

Why did I do this? Because it was her birthday, and I humored her every single birthday for the past decade by watching the same damn movie with her right on schedule. That was why! It didn’t hurt that I found Anne Hathaway hot, if a bit irritating at times, too, but I didn’t mention that to Tammy. By now, I was pretty sure that she grasped that fact, anyway.

“Oh, I don’t know, Uncle Frank. I kinda like the idea myself. I’d love to have that gift, and to think that she threw it away, though in a good cause here, I suppose. I would really enjoy seeing where that gift led me. Mum and Dad wouldn’t mind it, that’s for sure,” my eccentric British niece now observed.

“You’d want that gift for yourself? Why? I mean, people could boss you around, make you behave in ways that you’d never dare otherwise, all kinds of crazy crap like that,” I pointed out the definite downsides to such a “gift.”

“Exactly! That’s what I’d enjoy about it. Surely you know by now that I dream of being dominated and shagged good and rough by a bloke like you, right? Imagine what you could do to me, sexually, Uncle Frank, if you could only command me to do whatever you wished. What hot, sweet, sexy, kinky stuff you could make me do! In fact, I don’t think that women know what they’re missing when they don’t submit to handsome studs like you,” Tammy told me things that got my boner rising for sure.

“Whoa, what happened to you, honey? You’re barely eighteen as of today! Since when does a girl your age even know what half of this stuff is, let alone want to do it? I mean, really... , “ I started rambling.

Tammy shut me up with a finger to the lips and then a kiss, followed by a giggle.

“Promise not to tell anyone? My birthday wish tonight will be that every woman in the world will have the ‘gift of obedience’ from the time that they turn eighteen. Permanently. No woman that age or above will be able to reject a man’s sexual advances or disobey him at all. That should end the battle of the sexes for good. On behalf of womankind, I surrender. You win. You men, that is. Lots of women won’t like it, but fuck ‘em. This is what I want! It’s my birthday and that’s my wish! It probably won’t happen, but that’s my fantasy at least. Why not go for it?”

Tammy then yanked down my pajama bottoms and started to suck me as if there was nothing strange about a teenage girl giving her uncle some head. Damn, I thought, if we were caught, I could be the family pariah, but it was terribly hard (pun intended) to care about that too much while my pretty blonde niece had her soft, wet lips wrapped around my cock. Her wink told me the real story behind the situation. My niece had a serious crush on me, and it was both sexual and romantic in nature! Her amber curls looked more radiant than ever as she gagged on my stiff prick and even licked me from head to base. I held onto her head and tried to cum before I was caught, but damn if she didn’t back off a few times to extend the pure ecstasy of the act even more.

Finally, I exploded down Tammy’s throat and she rose to give me a snowball to hide the evidence, of course. We got decent in a hurry, as neither of us wanted me busted by my brother and his very English wife, to put it mildly. It would be tough for her to enjoy me and vice versa if I was kicked out of my brother’s flat for screwing his daughter, my own, barely legal niece. It was also technically illegal as incest, but I doubt that anyone would go as far as pressing charges for that.

“You know, if you’re going that far, if you gave everyone the gift of obedience, it would be less sexist and we could prevent both of your parents from doing something about what we just did,” I raised a point that made the lightbulbs go off in my niece’s head.

Tammy gave me a mischievous wink and then put a very wet kiss on my mouth all over again.

“I get your point, and I wasn’t trying to be sexist. I just didn’t want my girlfriends to boss me around when this gift is intended to give you power over me, not them. Not to mention the bullies at school. Plus it would make Aunt Karin treat you better, even if you’ve been separated since I was twelve. When are you going to divorce her, Uncle Frank? That no-good Swedish bitch used to be nice, but for the last six years, she’s been a royal pain for all of us!” Tammy scoffed now.

“So, what are you going to do? And no, I’m not ready for an international divorce, though thankfully, we never had any kids together. Biologically, that is. Her two daughters were rather attached to me, but too fucking bad,” I explained to Tammy now.

I didn’t mention the inevitable hate sex that I had with my ex on those rare occasions that we met. The bizarre love-hate relationship that my estranged wife and I had was stuck in some kind of holding pattern and had been for more than half a decade by now. Part of me wondered if Karin was afraid to upset my twin stepdaughters, Anna-Lena and Linnéa, both of whom were very fond of their American stepfather. It had started when I was predictably caught cheating, granted, but I furiously confronted Karin on her own infidelities. I was no hypocrite and I refused to tolerate them or suffer fools gladly, as the saying went.

“So, what’s your solution?” I asked Tammy now, returning quickly to the present.

“Giving everyone the ‘gift,’ Uncle Frank ... except you,” Tammy licked her lips as she peppered my face, even my beard, with kisses.

I chuckled at that idea, even as my brother Ernie returned from the supermarket with his wife, Olivia. Tammy was practically a carbon copy of my sister-in-law in looks at least, though she had my brother’s hazel eyes, of course. Otherwise, yes, she could pass for Olivia’s much younger sister. At least I had the familiar eyes to gaze upon, though they were far more charming in Tammy’s face than in Ernie’s. They had the birthday cake ready and all that jazz, though the cake nearly fell when Ernie slapped his wife one time too many on the tush and she broke into laughter.

“Thanks for saving the cake, Frank!” Ernie chuckled while Olivia lightly tapped my shoulder with the sort of casual affection that came with my easy acceptance of her.

“For Tammy, it was nothing. I would move Heaven and Earth for that girl,” I admitted freely.

“Yes, you spoil her rotten, but that’s what uncles are for,” Olivia smiled at me now, her delightful Manchester accent coming out very strongly.

“And daddies ... and grandpas!” Ernie added with a belly laugh, “I’m glad that I know where you are and Olivia is now, because if she ever had an affair, it would be with you!”

“Oh, and with whom would your affair be?” Olivia demanded to know in her occasional mock jealous tone.

“With Tammy, so you’re perfectly safe,” Ernie told her, “because she’s the only girl who I love as much as you.”

We all burst into laughter, though I saw a look on my niece’s face that spoke volumes ... she wanted her parents, both of them ... and me ... and she wanted us badly. Tammy had a serious family jones going on, the major and primal urge to mate with her own kith and kin.

“Well, if you ever did that, you’d both be grounded ... for at least a month!” Olivia thought of a rather odd punishment for a cheating hubby and a Daddy’s girl.

“I’m not sure that would stop the affair, though,” I noted with an obviously bawdy insinuation.

“Well, why would I want that? No, if my husband’s gonna cheat on me with our daughter, I’d want to be able to watch! Maybe even join them,” Olivia continued her rather salacious joke.

“So that you’d benefit somehow from it?” I winked at my sister-in-law.

“Undoubtedly!” she winked back playfully in a way that caused Ernie to raise an eyebrow half-seriously in response, “my own personal porn flick!”

Oh, God, I thought ... Tammy didn’t get that family kink in a vacuum ... she got it honestly. By Jove, there was more subconscious truth to those jokes than my brother, his charming British wife, or my niece cared to admit! Hell, I myself just came in my own niece’s mouth and accepted a snowball kiss from her not that many minutes earlier. Clearly, especially given the way that I flirted with my brother’s wife, I had the incest jones, too.

“By the way, did you know that your ex left you a Valentine’s card, forwarded to us for some God awful reason? Do Swedes even celebrate Valentine’s Day, anyway? What’s next, a Saint Lucia Day card to Karin and the girls this year when you find the time, sent through us, of course? The two of you need to fish or cut bait or something? We can’t all have international romances work out splendidly for us, you know, not as well as Olivia and I have it, that is,” Ernie guffawed now, even as we all got busy prepping the birthday supper for Tammy.

“Bangers and mash? With a proper onion gravy? Oh, Mum, Dad, you’re the best!” Tammy literally did cartwheels.

For whatever reason, Tammy, while no traditionalist about other things, loved classic English cuisine, despite its bad reputation in culinary circles. She was a very odd duck about such things, to say the least. She was also a very hardcore Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stones kinda girl (great taste!), even though such bands were long since split up. I, of course, could appreciate British pub grub as easily as American or Aussie or whatever.

What I really couldn’t stand were two foreign dishes, and neither were from the UK: foie gras and shark fin soup. It wasn’t rocket science that animal cruelty was the stomach-churning aspect for me. As for American dishes, I was good with most things that weren’t tuna, chicken, potato, or macaroni salad. As for singers, one just never asked me to listen to Snoop, Enimem, or Blackeyed Peas. Otherwise, you were fine. If one found me some Steppenwolf, Steely Dan, the Eagles, or Blue Oyster Cult, I was good.

Supper turned out very nice indeed, even if I was often the butt of some jokes, though so were the others. It was all in good fun, including the parts about me and my hesitation to finalize the divorce from Karin, some of which cut a little closer to home than I might like. For instance, Olivia joked that I probably still had ex sex with my wife, something that was very true as I noted earlier, though I didn’t admit it yet at my brother’s place in Merry Ole England. There were also Brexit jokes, tankie jokes about Jeremy Corbyn, sex jokes about Boris Johnson, implied abstinence jokes about Theresa May, and jokes about the royals, of course.