Chapter 17

Zoe and Cynthia blamed me for getting their husbands back.

“Hey!” I said, “You wanted me to come. If you didn’t want them back... ?”

“But ... we were having so much fun.”

“Really?”

“Something new to complain about.”

“Why?”

“Wives complain ... it’s a law.”

“Really?”

“How else do husbands know they’re idiots if wives don’t complain?”

“Yeah,” said Zoe.

“The rule,” said Cynthia, “is this ... men marry hoping their wives never change. Wives marry to change their men.”

“I must have missed something when we were children.”

And Tyche said, “According to mom and Auntie Cyn ... you missed out on lots when you were growing up.”

Then she said, “Yup ... that’s why you were a virgin when you were 22. What’s a virgin?”

“You ... and you’re going to stay that way,” JW said, “Until you’re 40.”

“What about... ?”

“Forty!” said JW, determined to have the last word.

“Now you got my curiosity bump interested,” said Tyche.

Cyn said, “JW? We need to get going, Or I’m going to be having a Russian citizen.”

“How soon?” Billy asked.

“Could be as long as three weeks or tonight. I’m not positive of the date.”

“What does the doctor say?”

“Mozhet byt’ skoro ili tri nedeli,” said Tyke.

“What?” JW said.

“Could be tonight or as long as three weeks,” Tyche interpreted.

“How far can we get in three weeks?” JW asked.

Billy was already in panic mode. Decapitated chickens ain’t in it.

Junior ... you remember Junior ... she who fetched me from Ludington ... Junior ... that Junior ... princess, ruler, pregnant ... just like the majority of women present in the companionway? Yeah ... her ... Junior ... the General Admiral who defeated the US of A piped up with the clincher... “How far do you want to go?”

And we all turned to look at her.

“Well?” she said.

Clusterfuck of dithering. Nobody KNEW about her watch. The MOTHER OF ALL WATCHES!

“How about the middle of Lake Michigan?”

“Uhh,” I hemmed. “Probably bot a good idea. The Coast Guard...”

“Oh yeah ... they’ll shoot.”

“Huh?” many iterations of the word ... by those who didn’t know.

I explained, “After the surrender...” I held up my hand. “I’ll get back to that ... after the surrender ... the Great Lakes had a spate of piracy. Miss Princess, there...” I pointed at Junior. “ ... decreed open season on ‘em. No exceptions.”

“We almost got sunk ... because Mary and her bunch showed up...” I pointed to the Scientists... “and the Coast Guard helicopter has Infrared ... and thought we had been boarded.”

I shut up, nodded to Junior and she proceeded to explain about the Princessapality ... including the Letterman TV fiasco ... and The Bomb.

“I went a little nuts,” she said. “Just a little.”

We triplets looked at each other and said, like the triplets we are, “I thought mom went a little overboard. Now I don’t.”