Chapter 7: A Change of Plans

June 16, 1984, McKinley, Ohio

"So that's it?" Clarissa asked when I hung up the phone on Saturday morning.

"Yes. After I talked to the investigators on Thursday morning, they closed the investigation, and late yesterday, the Base Commander told Maggie's dad he wasn't going to take any action. According to what Karl said, the Base Commander gave Maggie's dad an unofficial reprimand about what he said to me, but that won't have any negative effect on his career."

"And Maggie is going to see her parents tonight?"

"Tomorrow. She's staying at Hannah's tonight, and then Hannah will go with her tomorrow, then bring her home tomorrow evening."

"That seems to have worked out well, but does it matter?"

I shrugged, "I haven't made any firm decisions either way. The point you made about Lara keeping her word did shift the needle a bit, but Maggie has her own set of qualities. And what's interesting is that hers are very different from Lara's, but in the end, either one would very likely meet my needs."

"Red hair and green eyes trump being Russian?"

"Those are attractive qualities, but you know it's way more than that. If I were going purely on beauty, Tasha would have won hands down, but you know what happened there."

"Her needs and your needs don't line up in a way where both could be satisfied. And that's the real question for both Lara and Maggie — do their needs and your needs line up in a way where both are met."

"Exactly."

"How do you feel?"

"I'm comfortable with the situation. The real drama will come if both girls believe they can have their needs met, and I believe both can meet my needs. At that point, I'll have a difficult decision to make, and someone is going to be hurt by the choice I make. That does not make me happy. And honestly, I lay this problem directly at the feet of Maggie's dad because he delayed us for a year! If he hadn't, this dilemma wouldn't even exist."

"Are you sure?"

"If Maggie and I had been steady, I wouldn't have been receptive to Lara's advances, and she wouldn't have pressed the matter. Remember, she waited until she was sure I wasn't involved with Kimiko before she made her move."

"True."

I checked my watch and saw it was time to leave.

"I need to leave for my Saturday mini-golf game with Dona."

"So that's a regular thing now, along with your Tuesday chess match with Grace?"

"At least for the Summer, yes. Are you coming to church tonight or hanging out with Jocelyn?"

"We're double-dating — her and Bill and me and Abby."

"Cool. I want to meet them!"

"How about a triple-date next Friday? You know, like you used to do with Jocelyn and Dale?"

"Sounds like a winner!"

We hugged, and I headed back to campus to meet Dona. I knocked on her door and she opened it, we said 'goodbye' to Jocelyn, and then headed to the mini golf course.

"You can stroke your ball first," Dona teased.

"It's even blue," I chuckled.

"Which happens if you don't take enough strokes to finish!"

"Not to mention a disappointed partner!"

We had a fun round, bantering the whole way. When we finished, I added up the scores.

"58 for me," I grinned, "and 69 for you! I hope you enjoyed it!"

"My first 69 ever!"

"Mini golf? Or...?"

"Either. I wasn't very adventurous."

"And now?" I asked.

"A girl has to have some secrets!"

We began walking back towards campus.

"Same time next Saturday?" she asked.

"Absolutely. I've had a really good time these last two Saturdays."

"I appreciate you spending time with me."

"I don't have any specific plans for the afternoon if you want to do something together."

"Sure," Dona replied. "Anything."

I chuckled, "After all that banter, that statement could be dangerous!"

"That banter tells me that you and I both know that, at some point, we're going to end up in bed together. It's just a question of when. Or did I just totally step in it?"

"Well, that cut right to the chase! And yes, I got that idea from the banter as well."

"Then, if you're game, I can have my first 69!"

"Birth control?"

"I take it you have rubbers?"

"I do. I have a proposition for you?"

"Didn't I just proposition YOU?"

I chuckled, "Yes, you did. If you're satisfied after this afternoon, you're welcome to sleep with me as much as you want during the Summer."

"And what happens at the end of August? You turn into a pumpkin?"

"Maybe we should talk before we fool around. In fact, I know we should."

"Why does this sound like a kiss-off?" Dona sighed. "Did you just change your mind?"

"You kind of walked into the middle of the play," I replied. "Did Jocelyn say anything about my plans?"

"No. Well, about you wanting to be a doctor but nothing else."

"I'm a candidate for ordination, and in our church, you have to marry before you're ordained. That's probably a little over a year from now, and the girl has to be Orthodox. Sometime this Fall, I'm likely going to get betrothed, which is similar to being engaged. That means at the end of the Summer, I need to make some decisions."

"Engaged? But you aren't even steady with anyone!"

"It's not going to be like that," I said. "This will be closer to an arranged marriage, except the girls and I are doing the arranging instead of a matchmaker. Until the end of the Summer, I'm more or less a free agent."

"So what you're saying is you can't be my boyfriend."

"You knew I was dating."

"Sure. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to imply you were leading me on. I didn't ask you for any promises before offering to fool around, but what you're saying is, basically, we can fuck ourselves silly, but once the Summer session ends, that's it? Just friends again?"

"That would pretty much be it unless you had some burning desire to become religious."

"Not a chance! I haven't set foot in a church except for a funeral or wedding in my entire life."

"Do me a favor, please."

"What's that?"

"Think about it, and we'll just hang out with Clarissa and Jocelyn this afternoon. If you decide that what I can offer meets your needs, then stay tonight. If not, we'll play mini golf next Saturday, and no harm, no foul."

"Can I ask one question?"

"Sure."

"Do you fuck as well as you tease?"

"Reportedly so," I replied.

"And the equipment?"

"That's two questions," I replied. "And after all, a guy has to have some secrets!"

She laughed and squeezed my arm, giving me a strong indication that her answer would be 'yes'.

Late in the afternoon, I walked to the Quick Mart so that Tasha and I could ride to church together. As usual, she gave me her keys, and I drove her Volvo out of town towards the church.

"I should have asked before," Tasha said, "but do you mind if I talk with Nikolas after the service? It'll most likely only be about fifteen minutes."

"If it takes you that long to snare him, you've lost your touch!" I teased.

"Very funny! I'm going to do this in a proper way."

"I wouldn't ever doubt that," I replied. "But you are very beautiful which makes you very hard to resist!"

"Thank you! And you know very well that the next man who makes love to me will be my husband on my wedding night! You were a very special case."

"And very privileged," I replied.

"Are we meeting Clarissa and Jocelyn for dinner?"

"No. They're on dates tonight. We can have dinner together if you like."

"It would need to be someplace public for appearances."

"Yes, of course. We can eat at the Chinese place."

"Good!"

We arrived at church, I got my cassock from the back seat where I'd stashed it, put it on, and we went into the church. Just over an hour later, after the service finished, I went to sit on a bench outside the front door of the church to wait for Tasha.

"Subdeacon?"

I turned to see Elizaveta Kozlova.

"Hi, Elizaveta," I said. "How are you?"

"Good. May I sit?"

"Of course."

She sat down on the bench, about six inches away from me.

"May I ask a question?"

"Sure," I replied.

"Is there something wrong with the girls here at Saint Michael?"

"Why would you ask that?"

"Because you're always bringing different girls to church with you. First it was Angie, then Clarissa, then the Japanese girl, and then another girl, and now the girl with red hair. And you and Tasha are not a couple, which everyone thought you were, at least at one point."

I was sure she meant Maggie, with the comment about red hair, and the other one had to be Lara. Elizaveta had a good point, but it wasn't that anything was wrong; it was just timing and circumstances, as well as age, at least for some of the girls like Elizaveta.

"No, there's nothing wrong with you and your friends," I replied.

"Then why not ask one of us out? Yuliana, Oksana, or I would love to have you ask us out."

"You and Oksana are a bit young," I replied.

"We're not little girls, Subdeacon!" she declared fiercely. "And we're faithfully Orthodox, understand what it would mean to be a deacon's wife, and like the idea of being a doctor's wife."

"Is that a proposal?" I asked lightly, with a smile to show I was teasing.

Elizaveta laughed, "Perhaps it is! But I would have expected you to at least ask Yuliana on a date because she's a Senior now. I'd prefer you to ask me, obviously. But I think you don't think any of us are interesting."

"I suppose you could just chalk it up to the randomness of life. I did date Katy Malenkov before she went to college in California, and I dated Janey from Holy Transfiguration for a bit. I met these other girls in a way that kind of led me from one to the next."

"Do you think I'm pretty?"

"Very," I replied truthfully, for she was very pretty.

"And you think I'm nice?"

"You're very sweet," I replied.

"I think you're handsome and very nice, and I think I could make you very happy if you gave me a chance to try."

"You're going to be a Sophomore, right?"

"Yes."

"You're six years younger than I am," I replied gently. "That wouldn't be a big deal if you were, say, nineteen and I was twenty-five, but now?"

"And when you're seventy, I would be sixty-four! I know how to cook, bake, clean, do laundry, sew, care for babies, and I am quite sure I can figure out how to make them!"

I laughed, "I think everyone can figure that one out, even without health class."

"I do know how it works!" she giggled. "I was being silly. But even so, I have all the qualities of a good wife, don't you think?"

"Those are indeed very good skills, but the true qualities of a good wife are faithfulness and supporting her husband, just as the true qualities of a good husband are faithfulness and supporting his wife. The division of labor isn't important to me."

"And Doctor Michael Loucks, Deacon of the Church, will have free time to cook, clean, do laundry, and all those other things? Or will he need a faithful Orthodox wife who is skilled in those things and who is willing to do them?"

"A reasonable point," I said with a smile.

"My parents like you, which is important as well."

"That does help, but it's not a requirement."

"But you agree it's better if they do, right?"

"Yes, of course."

"And did you know our house has a cottage which would be perfect for a medical student and his wife to live in? And it would even be sufficient for a baby if they had one?"

"I didn't know that," I said, laughing softly. "How much time did you spend planning your argument?"

She laughed, "None! I mean, obviously, I've thought about it, or I wouldn't be talking to you, but I didn't write everything down or discuss it with anyone. Will you promise me one thing?"

"What's that?"

"You'll consider what I've said? Honestly?"

I smiled, "Yes, I will."

"Would you do something else?"

"What's that?"

"Take off your cassock so I can kiss your cheek?"

I nodded, stood up, removed my cassock, and then sat down. Elizaveta leaned over, kissed my cheek, then stood.

"See you tomorrow, Subdeacon!" she said.

"See you tomorrow."

She went back into the church, and I shook my head. I folded my cassock and waited for Tasha, who came out of the church about five minutes later. We walked to her car, and I got into the driver's seat after holding the passenger door for her.

"Did you put Elizaveta up to that?" I asked.

"Up to what?" Tasha asked.

"A full-court press, or maybe an all-out frontal assault!"

"What did I miss?"

"I came outside to sit on the bench as I told you I was going to do. She came out and spent nearly ten minutes giving me all the reasons I should ask her out, or really, why I should propose to her immediately."

"Mischa," Tasha said with a soft laugh, "Maggie wasn't here, so Elizaveta, recognizing the opportunity, decided to take the bull by the horns! She's been waiting for you to talk to her, or at least one of her friends, for ages. And I don't mean just the small talk at lunch after Liturgy."

"She basically complained that I was bringing outside girls to church and ignoring her, Oksana, and Yuliana. She said she had expected me to ask Yuliana out because she was older, but when I didn't, she decided to talk to me."

"And did she make a good argument? I mean, besides being a pretty, dark-haired Russian girl?"

"She did, for every practical issue."

"Which, I shouldn't have to remind you, is what matters in your mind!"

"You don't have to remind me," I said.

"I think the other girls all gave up, though I don't know for sure. Elizaveta appears to have decided to take matters into her own hands."

"And you had nothing to do with it?" I asked.

"No. Remember, I said she was the best choice for you, even though she's still young. But she'll be sixteen by next Summer."

"I still find that problematic."

"And when you are eighty and she's seventy-four?"

I chuckled, "She said seventy and sixty-four."

"I would say, unless you have absolutely decided on Larisa Sergeyevna, you should ask Elizaveta's father for permission to court her, the same as you did with my father when you and I started seeing each other."

"And what do I tell Maggie?"

"The truth, Mischa. I believe in any comparison she comes second. That's true of Lara, Elizaveta, Yuliana, or Oksana. I didn't suggest those girls' names lightly!"

"No, I'm sure you didn't. But I like Maggie."

"Yes, of course. I think she would make a fine girlfriend, but I don't think she's the one to be your partner as a doctor and a deacon. And Mischa, you should tell her before she's received into the church."

"You think she's doing this just for me?"

"I think it's possible, though not like your Japanese friend."

Our conversation continued at the Chinese restaurant after we placed our order.

"I believe Clarissa agrees with me about Maggie," Tasha said. "Doesn't she feel Lara is the obvious choice?"

"Yes. But I'm not sure I agree."

"I think you do, but you feel obligated to give Maggie a chance, to the point where you might be fooling yourself about how you actually feel."

"«Дерьмо» (dermo)," I sighed. ("damn")

"So you agree that might be the case? That you are trying so hard to keep your word that you've talked yourself into something that might not be in your own best interest?"

"Maybe. But it's going to hurt her badly if I tell her that."

"But which is worse? Now? Or later? Especially if you two become lovers."

"I've purposefully avoided that."

"To avoid hurting her even more, right?" Tasha asked.

"Yes," I replied.

"Talk with Jocelyn and Clarissa and tell them what happened and what I said. See if they agree with me. If they do, it will confirm what you know to be true in your heart. Now, let's eat and talk about other things."

We had a nice meal, but I was distracted by the events of the evening, and I was sure Tasha noticed. When we finished eating, I drove us back to the Quick Mart and parked in Tasha's reserved spot. I walked her to her door, we exchanged a chaste hug, and I headed back towards the dorm. I remembered my conversation earlier with Dona and wasn't sure being with her was a good idea, so I continued past the campus and headed for Doctor Blahnik's house.

I let myself in and found the house completely dark. I turned on the light for the stairs and went up to my room. I shut the door and leaned against it in the darkened room. After a few minutes, I felt my way to the bed and turned on the dim lamp on the nightstand. I used the pale light to turn on the radio, then decided to soak in the tub. I went into the bathroom, opened the taps, closed the drain, undressed, and got into the tub.

As the water rose around me, I contemplated my conversation with Tasha. I couldn't dispute her logic any more than I could dispute Elizaveta's logic, though at least with Elizaveta, a simple 'no' wouldn't be devastating. I did find it interesting that she'd decided to take matters into her own hands, as it were, and make her case clearly and succinctly. And while there was no way I was going to say it to her, she was only about eighteen months younger than Lara. And if I were to seriously consider her, I would likely have to postpone my ordination, which was not out of the question but also not what I wanted to do if I could help it.