Chapter 66: Vale Dicere

May 25, 1985, McKinley, Ohio

"In Psalm 8, we read — 'When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers; The Moon and the stars, which You have ordained; What is man that You are mindful of him; And the son of man that You visit him? For You have made him a little lower than the angels; And You have crowned him with glory and honor; You have made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet'.

"'Crowned him with glory and honor' — that is us, today, crowned with glory and honor, ready to move out into the world and take our place, be that a job, further schooling, starting a family, joining the military, or some other endeavor. Getting here was not easy; in fact, the best description comes from a song I'm going to sing with Elizaveta Viktorovna Kozlova at our wedding tomorrow — The road is long, there are mountains in our way; But we climb a step every day.

"We aren't done with that journey by any means, rather, we're at a significant waypoint, a milestone. We share many milestones — our first day of school; our first love and first kiss; our driver's licenses; graduating from High School; and now, graduating from college. But ahead lie many other possible mile markers — graduate school; marriage; the birth of a child; the marriage of a child; the birth of a grandchild.

"I look forward, and I remember back; that which came before informs that which will come in the future. I am not the same person I was when I left home to come to William Howard Taft, and yet, I am still Michael Peter Loucks. As Shakespeare wrote — 'All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts'. Today, I play the part of a young man graduating college; tomorrow, that of a husband.

"I arrived at Taft a naïve young man of eighteen, whose life was centered in Harding County, Ohio, and who, despite great desire, was unfit mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically to fulfill his self-perceived destiny — to be a doctor. I think, perhaps, that is true for most of us sitting here today. We are not the same persons we were when we came here, and, frankly, if we are, then we've learned nothing.

"Oh, most certainly, we learned material in our courses, but that is only part of what college is meant to be. But the grades and these gold or silver braids signifying honors are only a means to an end — entrance into a graduate program or an aid to getting our first job. Beyond that, except for pride in an accomplishment, they really are limited in their use and are perhaps even, ultimately, 'full of sound and fury, signifying nothing'.

"For if we are defined simply by our grades, we've missed the entire point of being here — to grow and to become the men and women we were meant to be. We've made new friends, had new experiences, and hopefully, have learned to think and act in ways which we might never have considered in High School. My goals have not changed, but I certainly have. And if there is one thing of which I am certain, it is that the phrase 'to thine own self be true' must guide us going forward.

"We will only achieve our true potential if we are true to ourselves. And sometimes, being true to ourselves means going against the crowd and marching to the beat of our own drummer. Know when to break the rules, for some rules were meant to be broken. On Sunday, March 21, 1965, when I was two years old, Greek Orthodox Archbishop IAKOVOS was one of the few whites who joined Doctor Martin Luther King to march from Selma to Montgomery. He said something which I think applies to all of us — that he and his archdiocese could no longer simply be a 'spectator and listener', but must work actively in pursuit of equality and justice. He broke the rules because it was the right thing to do. For this, he was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Carter in 1980.

"Archbishop IAKOVOS, by the way, graduated magna cum laude, but I only know that because I looked it up! Those grades didn't matter one bit when he was marching and facing down police with batons, dogs, and fire hoses. They didn't matter one bit when he led his congregation, mostly Greek immigrants, to support the civil rights movement. What mattered, to borrow a quote from Doctor King was the content of Archbishop IAKOVOS' character.

"And that is what is going to matter for us. Trust me, no patient in the ER is going to care whether I had this gold braid on my shoulder! As the joke goes, 'What do you call the person who graduates last in their class in medical school?' The answer is — 'Doctor'! What the patient will care about is my ability, with God's help, to cure them of their illness or repair an injury they've suffered. They won't care if I went to Stanford Medical School or Saint George Medical School in Grenada. They won't care if I have scores of awards on my wall. What they will care about is whether or not Doctor Mike has the compassion and skills to help them. That's going to be true for all of us, no matter what our endeavor — our passion, our skills, our compassion, all are going to matter far more than the grades or even the parchment which we're about to receive.

"I'm reminded of something Saint Paul wrote to the Corinthians — 'Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love I am only a resounding gong or clanging cymbal'. The kind of love he's speaking about is «agápē» — self-giving, self-sacrificing love. The love that Jesus spoke about when he said 'Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends'. Saint Paul used it in his letter to the Ephesians when he instructed husbands to love their wives, giving themselves up for their wives the way Christ gave Himself for the Church.

"That is the kind of love we need to have for each and every person around us. Race doesn't matter. National origin doesn't matter. Sexual orientation doesn't matter. Faith doesn't matter. Political affiliation doesn't matter. Wealth doesn't matter. If we don't do what Archbishop IAKOVOS did — put aside our theological, cultural, political, and spiritual differences and work together to make the world a better place — we'll all surely turn it into a preview of hell. I don't know about you, but that's the last place I want to be.

"Maybe, no, surely, some of you don't believe in Hell, and that's fine. There is an equation of 'Gehenna' with a perpetually burning dump, and that is exactly what we're going to turn this world into if we don't love each other. Or, maybe it will just be one massive, worldwide conflagration and then nothing, as thousands of nuclear weapons detonate, destroying the earth. That would follow the prophecy after the Flood when God promised not to destroy the world again with water, and the prophecy is that it will be destroyed in fire. Trust me when I say that is a prophecy I do not wish to be fulfilled!

"What is my charge for you today? To follow the basic principles of the 'Sermon on the Mount' — be the 'light of the world' and 'let your light shine'; 'let your yes be yes and your no be no'; 'turn the other cheek'; 'go the extra mile'; 'love your neighbor as yourself'. But it doesn't stop there because love can't stop there. Jesus says — 'You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you'. Not an easy thing, but it's the only way forward. Christian or not; believer in God or not; we are all called to love one another. As Doctor King said, we must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools."

"Lastly, it is the case that we will make mistakes, and I have made a number of them since I came to Taft. Each of those mistakes provided some kind of lesson, and my challenge, each and every time, was to discover the lesson, learn that lesson, and resolve not to repeat the mistake. Those times when I didn't learn my lesson, I made things worse when I repeated the mistake, and one of those times, I hurt someone I love quite badly. Fortunately, she forgave me, and she's here today. Learn from your mistakes; forgive the mistakes of others. If that is the only thing you remember from my speech, I'll be satisfied that I've done some good.

"I would be remiss if I concluded without remembering the friends I've made here at Taft and the friends from back home who are here as well. I can tell you with absolute certainty I would not be standing before you without their help. I'd give you a litany of names of new friends, but I'd leave someone out, and that would be hurtful, so I will name just one name, that of my best friend and the person most responsible for the man you see today before you — Clarissa Saunders.

"I also need to thank my parents and grandparents; my sister and her husband; my future in-laws; my therapist, who probably needs therapy after counseling me; my professors; my High School teachers, especially Mr. Black; and my two best friends from High School, Jocelyn Mills and Dale Melrose. Again, I could give a litany of names besides those two, but I'll name just one — Doctor Anicka Blahnik, without whom I probably wouldn't have survived college and who taught me to play guitar. And I would be remiss if I failed to thank Chancellor Evans for the opportunity to speak today.

"In conclusion, allow me to leave you with a final thought from Shakespeare, one with which I heartily agree — 'I count myself in nothing else so happy as in a soul remembering my good friends'.

"Therefore, I say vale dicere — 'farewell'. Thank you, good luck, and Godspeed!"

Chancellor Evans came to the podium, shook my hand, and put a gold medal around my neck. As the students and guests applauded and cheered, I left the stage to take my place amongst the graduating class. I was in the middle seat of the middle row of chairs, and unfortunately, the students to my immediate right and left were from other dorms, and I didn't really know them. I'd have strongly preferred to sit with my friends, but we were scattered through the alphabetically-seated student body.

The roll call of students began with John Ackerman, and eventually to me.

"Michael Peter Loucks, Bachelor's Degree in Biochemistry, summa cum laude!" Chancellor Evans announced.

I walked across the stage, shook hands with him as he handed me a diploma cover, as the actual diplomas would not be available until after final grades were recorded, and then I shook hands with the Chair of the Board of Regents, Dean Anderson, the Most Reverend James Anthony Griffin, and Senator Robert Taft, Jr, before returning to my seat.

Finally, the last student, Susan Zander, received her diploma, and once she had returned to her seat, we stood, and Chancellor Evans gave us his final charge.

"Students of the Graduating Class of 1985, I hereby declare that each of you has achieved the necessary requirements for graduation, and I discharge you from this university! Congratulations, and good luck! This commencement ceremony is now closed."

Caps flew into the air as the assembled students and guests roared and applauded. I carefully picked my way through the mob of students and found Clarissa. We exchanged a hug and a quick kiss and were quickly joined by Sandy, Pete, Fran, and Jason. The six of us put our arms around each other in a group hug, then everyone exchanged individual hugs. Fran produced a camera and got another student to take several snapshots of the gang.

"Holy shit!" Sandy exclaimed when the photos were done. "We actually did it!"

"And now it's 'Miller Time'! Pete declared. "Let's get out of these stupid robes and get to the lake for the party!"

"I'll see you guys there," I said. "There is someone I need to find!"

"Assuming you want to live long enough to go to the party!" Clarissa teased. "I need to go find my parents."

"I'm glad they came."

"Me, too."

I made my way through the milling students to where my family, both old and new, were waiting. I took Elizaveta in my arms, and we exchanged a soft kiss.

"Congratulations, husband!" she said with a huge smile.

We kissed again, and then I hugged my parents, my grandparents, my sister, and Jocelyn before shaking hands with Dale and Paul and then all of my soon-to-be in-laws.

"I'm going to go change," I said. "See you all at the lake?"

"We have picnic areas 2 and 3 reserved," Viktor said. "Mike, do your friends know where to come?"

"They know the party is at the lake, and I think they'll be able to find us! See you there!"

I took Elizaveta's hand, and Dale walked with us back towards Doctor Blahnik's house.

"When do you graduate, Dale?" Elizaveta asked.

"Next Saturday at Camp Randall Stadium in Madison. And then, two days later, I'm off to Seattle for my job with Boeing. I told Mike you guys need to come visit, though I know medical school makes the timing difficult."

"Do you have a steady girlfriend?"

"No. The girl I was dating is a Sophomore, and neither of us thinks a long-distance relationship will work at this point."

"Mikayla needs a date for the reception," Elizaveta offered. "She's cute and fun, and she's a Junior at Ohio State."

I chuckled, "We haven't even had the wedding ceremony, and the «бабушка» (babushka) shows up!" ("Grandmother")

"Oh, please!" Elizaveta protested. "Dale needs a date, Mikayla needs a date. They'll sit together for dinner and have a dance! I'm not trying to get them married! Anything more than dinner and a dance is up to them!"

"Dale?" I inquired.

"I don't see what it can hurt!"

"I'll tell my grandmothers, and they can move the place cards before the reception," Elizaveta declared.

"Mike, that was an awesome speech," Dale said. "Thanks for mentioning me."

"You're welcome, and honestly, how could I not mention my two best friends from High School? I owe you both debts I can never repay."

"Sure you can; you do it every day by being our friend."

We arrived at Doctor Blahnik's house, and I went upstairs. I removed my gown and hung it in the closet, putting the gold medal into my bag. I put the cap and diploma cover on the shelf, then changed into jeans, a T-shirt, and my Cincinnati Reds cap. Elizaveta had worn blue jeans and a blouse for the graduation ceremony, and Dale had changed into shorts and a T-shirt while I had been upstairs. The three of us left the house, got into my Mustang, and headed for Milton Lake, where we'd be joined by my friends and, for those who had graduated with me, their families and other guests.

"So, how does it feel to have graduated?" Mom asked when we arrived.

"I hope you'll forgive me for saying so, but today was the second-most important event this weekend!"

Mom laughed, "If you had said otherwise, you'd be dead where you stand!"

"I'm happy," I said, "but my entire focus for the past six months has been on tomorrow afternoon, though obviously I spent time studying and going to class."

"Are you still planning on visiting Niagara Falls next week?"

"Yes. And then we're off to Europe, though fortunately, not until after Jocelyn has her surgery."

"Surgery?"

"She needs spinal surgery to relieve pressure on a compressed nerve. It's something that was expected at some point because of the reconstruction they had to do after her accident. Fortunately, she can have it done before I leave, and obviously, Gene will be here for her while I'm in Europe."

"Is he the 'real deal'?" Mom asked.

I nodded, "Absolutely. I don't expect them to get married for three or four years, but they're every bit as serious as Elizaveta and I are."

"Is it true that Vladyka ARKADY will join us here?"

I nodded, "Yes. He'll come for about an hour, and then he and Father will leave for Vespers. I've been excused from serving tonight and tomorrow."

"The one time, except perhaps at clergy conventions, Mike and I will get to stand together in church!" Elizaveta said. "And even then, I bet the Bishop selects him to serve at those!"

"That was one thing which bothered me about my dad," Tasha said, coming up to the small group. "He could never worship together with the family. Well, he did, but you know what I mean — stand with us."

"Don't look now," I said quietly, "but your dad just arrived!"

"Ugh," Tasha groaned. "And he's wearing his cassock!"

I chuckled, "You know the bishop wants his clergy to wear their cassocks unless their work requires civilian clothes. I escape because I'm minor clergy, at least for now."

"Will the bishop wear his normal ryassa and kamilavka?" Tasha asked.

"Yes, though he has lightweight ones for Summer."

"May I ask what he wears in his office?" she inquired.

"Just a cassock, usually, from what Subdeacon Alexi told me, and that's what he was wearing when I was in his study at the chancery in Columbus. Mom, Dad, if you'll excuse us, I need to get something to drink for Elizaveta and myself, and then we need to circulate."

"Of course," Mom replied.

I took Elizaveta's hand, and we walked over to where the coolers were. I got a Dr Pepper for myself and a Coke for her, and we walked over to where Mark, Alyssa, José, Dona, Robby, Lee, and Sophia were sitting.

"Robby said your speech was going to be awesome," Sophia said, hopping up for a hug. "He was right!"

"Thanks," I said, giving her a tight hug and receiving a quick kiss in return.

"Careful, Greek girl!" Elizaveta teased.

"Bring it, Russian girl!" Sophia teased back.

"Now, this could be VERY interesting," Pete declared from behind me.

Sandy, Clarissa, and Abby were with him.

"Ignore him!" Sandy said.

"Men can be real pigs at times!" Clarissa declared, winking at me. "But I'm not sure who I'd bet on in that fight!"

I laughed when both Elizaveta and Sophia put their hands on their hips and turned to stare at Clarissa.

"Now you've stepped into it, Lissa!" I chuckled. "I'll leave you to sort this out! I see Anicka and Derek have arrived."

I walked away from the silly face-off and moved over to Anicka and Derek. He shook my hand and offered congratulations, and then Anicka gave me a hug.

"How does it feel?"

"Amazing!" I replied, squeezing my arms slightly to hug her more tightly. "And it feels good to have graduated!"

Derek laughed, "Milena always said he was a tease and a flirt!"

"Oh, don't I know it!" Anicka replied, releasing me from the hug. "Congratulations, Mike."

"Thank you. You were instrumental in helping me get this far."

She smiled, "Students like you, Clarissa, and José are what makes teaching so rewarding. I hope you'll continue to visit, at least from time to time."

"We will. I wanted to let you know that I'm going to give the balalaika to Clarissa to bring to the reception."