Chapter 59: Sweet Sixteen

April 19, 1985, McKinley, Ohio

Elizaveta drove my car to Pizza Inn, where her friends had reserved the small banquet room for the party. She'd be taking her driving test on Thursday and wanted a bit more practice. I was sure she'd pass, but with BMV employees, one never knew what might happen. When we arrived, Elizaveta backed into the parking spot just as I'd taught her, and after locking up the car, we went inside to where ten of her friends and their boyfriends or girlfriends were waiting, along with Mark and Alyssa and Tasha and Nik. We'd invited Clarissa, but Abby wasn't gung-ho about spending the evening with a group of mostly High School Sophomores and Juniors, so Clarissa had declined.

I knew most of the girls who were there — Oksana, Britney, Johanna, Serafima, and Viktoriya, who had been at lunch that day at Elizaveta's, along with Yuliana and Angelina from church. She introduced me to the other three girls — Suzie, Carol, and Hope, who were other friends from school. I didn't bother with the boys' names as I noticed three of the four who had been at lunch that day had been replaced.

"Do we have to behave with Subdeacon here?" Yuliana asked with a silly smile.

"I'm not going to report you to your mom for saying that my future wife is going to enjoy our wedding night!"

I saw Nik grimace, but I also saw Tasha's hand on his arm. She was working on him to loosen up, and I was absolutely sure his attitude would change in a major way near the end of July. If his wedding night was anything like the 'wedding night' I'd had with Tasha, he wasn't going to know which end was up!

"I got a lecture about 'ladylike' behavior. I swear, she's still living in Russia!"

"No, that's MY dad," Tasha declared. "You don't speak Russian at home, and I bet you don't have a picture of the Tsar in your house!"

"No."

"And talk to your grandmother," I said.

"I did!" Yuliana exclaimed. "That was a fun conversation! But if I tell my mom what my grandmother said, my mom will lose her mind!"

A bunch of us laughed.

"I'm not surprised," I said. "And do not share, please. That's private between you and your grandmother."

"I'll tell you now, and you'll see later, she helped me pick out Elizaveta's birthday present!"

The twinkle in Yuliana's eyes implied that it was going to be an interesting gift. She stood up and tapped her glass with a knife.

"They're going to bring in salads for everyone first, then there will be three kinds of pizza, plus lasagna and spaghetti with meatballs, all served family style. Everything is covered by what I collected from you, including the pitchers of soft drinks. Enjoy!"

The salads were brought in, and Yuliana asked me to give the blessing.

"O Lord, bless the food and drink of Thy servants, for Thou art holy unto the ages of ages."

Everyone responded, "Amen!"

"Christ is risen!" I exclaimed.

"Truly He is risen!" everyone replied heartily.

Thirty minutes later, with everyone having eaten their fill of salad, pizza, lasagna, and spaghetti, Yuliana stood up and once again tapped her glass with her knife.

"Mike, Tasha, would you please lead us in Happy Birthday and Many Years?"

I nodded, and we both stood up and moved next to each other. I hummed two notes, one for her and one for me, Tasha nodded, and we began, with the group joining in for both songs.

"Now, we have a few gifts for you," Yuliana said. "Mike?"

I reached into my shirt pocket, pulled out a soft jewelry bag, and handed it to Elizaveta. She opened the drawstrings and extracted a long, gold chain with a heart on it.

"Why is it so long?" Elizaveta asked.

Tasha giggled, which was something of a rarity for her, "It's a waist chain!"

She knew because she had been the one to suggest it, privately, of course. I wondered what Nik thought, but that was between Tasha and him.

"So I'm supposed to just take off my blouse right here and put it on?" she asked petulantly.

"No!" Yuliana tittered. "You wear it under your wedding dress..."

The rest of the girls laughed, and the guys all looked disappointed that they weren't going to see her put it on. I, on the other hand, certainly would! And the look exchanged between Tasha and Yuliana told me that, at a minimum, Yuliana was involved in making the suggestion. And if they were like this in public, Elizaveta's bridal shower was going to be very interesting, and unfortunately, I wouldn't be allowed to attend.

"Thank you," Elizaveta said to me, then winked and kissed my cheek.

Several of the other girls had gifts for Elizaveta as well — a pair of sweaters, neither of which were like the one I'd purchased, some scented candles, and a nice shoulder bag, which I was sure would be useful on our trip to Europe. Yuliana handed Elizaveta the final gift, and Elizaveta removed the wrapping paper and opened the box, blushing deep crimson upon seeing the see-through purple lingerie.

"For your wedding night," Yuliana tittered.

"Show us!" Oksana, Serafima, and Viktoriya demanded in unison something which was clearly planned in advance.

Elizaveta blushed even deeper, something I wouldn't have thought possible, and held up a very sexy, sheer 'babydoll' negligée. Left in the box were equally sheer panties. All the girls applauded, and the guys' eyes bugged out. I thought I might have a heart attack when I saw Elizaveta wearing them, which would defeat the entire purpose!

"No advance peeks!" Yuliana teased. "You have to wait until five weeks from tomorrow!"

"You're just no fun!" Elizaveta replied with a silly smile, returning the garment to the box and putting the lid on.

I leaned close and whispered into her ear, "But I bet you are!"

She giggled softly, then kissed my cheek, "Just wait!"

A few minutes later, everyone was served dessert — a brownie topped with a scoop of ice cream with fudge drizzled over it. When we'd finished eating our dessert, all the girls hugged Elizaveta. Yuliana promised to take the gifts to Elizaveta's house, and then Elizaveta and I left so I could take her to see Ladyhawke. We both very much enjoyed the film, which had a wonderful score and featured gallant knights, fair maidens in distress, and bad guys who made you want to do them in yourself. I very much enjoyed the fantasy of a world where chivalry — love, honor, and courage — were rewarded.

"I loved it!" Elizaveta gushed when we left the theatre. "True love which conquers all and where the two love each other more than life itself!"

I took her hand, and we walked back towards Pizza Inn, where we'd left my car.

"Despite their curse of lycanthropy?"

"You mean changing into animals?"

"Yes."

"But it was broken at the end, and they were together through all the adversity!"

"That's true. I very much liked the contrast between Navarre's faith and the pure evil of the Bishop of Aquila."

"Even though it portrayed clergy in a poor light?"

"More so than the icon of The Last Judgment, which shows clergy, including bishops, in Hell? Father Herman, in one of his homilies, relayed a story about a monk who visited hell and saw his former abbot up to his neck in fire, and when he wept for the abbot, the abbot said not to weep only for him but also for their former bishop on whose shoulders the abbot was standing."

"I suppose not, no. Does that worry you?"

"Constantly," I replied. "You know my past failings."

"But properly confessed and with appropriate repentance, right?"

"I believe so, yes, but we're all pretty good at deceiving ourselves."

"But you're not saying you have no sin!" she protested.

I nodded, "1 John 1:8. But I think it goes deeper than just denying our sins to the core issue — do we truly acknowledge them, and are we truly repentant? If you go back two verses, John writes, 'If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth', and that informs his statement that 'If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness'. He goes on to say, 'If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us', and taking all of that together, not being properly repentant is not all that different from denying that we've sinned. And remember, I KNEW that what I was doing was sinful, and yet I did it anyway."

"Doesn't Paul teach that sometimes we're unable to resist our desire to sin?"

I nodded, "He does, but don't you think that could be used as a cop-out? You know, I'm not able to control myself, so it's OK? Or thinking that you can, in effect, get away with it because of that."

"I would say that if you confessed, and Father Nicholas didn't feel your confessions were heartfelt and that you were truly struggling, he would never have told the bishop he supported your ordination."

"Yes, but don't you think it's possible that clergy do things with less than pure motives? Or do things which might not be perfectly theologically sound to keep the peace and for the overall good of the church?"

"Wait! You don't think you're qualified to be a deacon?!"

"I've NEVER thought I was qualified to be a deacon, a subdeacon, or a reader. The bishop, Father Herman, Father Nicholas, my grandfather, and your father all thought I was. As did the Parish Council when they petitioned to have me ordained a deacon as soon as I married. I didn't seek any of this, ever. Not even to be an acolyte. Father Herman asked me one day, and I agreed out of obedience. The same was true when he made me head acolyte."

"Hang on! You don't WANT to be a deacon?"

"I'm being obedient to my bishop and using my gifts in the Church as best he sees fit."

"You would never say 'no' to him?"

"I objected, saying I wasn't worthy, and he made a point that nobody is worthy. You know we have but one High Priest, one bishop, if you will — Jesus Christ. Vladyka ARKADY is an icon of Christ, just as the priests are when the bishop isn't present, and only then if the antimens is on the altar. We serve as clergy not because we are worthy but because Christ is worthy. It's also the case that the Church rejected Donatism as a heresy — the sacraments are neither degraded nor debased if the priest is a sinner. And that is because they derive their efficacy from the worthiness of Jesus Christ."

"Does anyone else know how you feel? I mean, besides Father Nicholas and the bishop?"

"My mom and I talked about this when, just after my ordination as a subdeacon, my dad said that I got what I wanted. My reply to him was that if he thought that, then he didn't know me at all. I also talked with Tasha about it when we were dating, and Clarissa because she's Clarissa."

"You love her very much, don't you?"

"I do."

"Would she convert?"

"You can't convert from being lesbian to being straight," I teased.

Elizaveta dropped my hand and smacked my arm, "You know what I meant!"

"No," I replied. "I don't think she would. And don't ask what she would do if she were straight because she's not and can't be. Remember we talked about desire, right?"

"Yes. And speaking of that, how did Tasha and Yuliana know what the chain was?"

"Tasha suggested it, and I'm guessing it was Yuliana's idea, but she didn't feel right coming to me directly."

Elizaveta laughed, "She is SO bad! That nighty is outrageous!"

"She's only bad in public, which you know very well is why she gave it to you tonight!"

"The boys' heads looked like they were going to explode!" Elizaveta said with a soft laugh.

"I noticed. I think they're all jealous because I'm marrying the most beautiful girl in the church!"

"Oh, please! That's Natalya Vasilyevna, and everyone knows it!"

"I disagree. YOU are the most beautiful girl in the entire church, «Котёнок» (katyonak). Period. End of discussion." ("Kitten")

"You really believe that?"

"I do because it's the truth!"

Elizaveta took my hand again and squeezed it. May 26th couldn't arrive soon enough for either of us.

April 20, 1985, McKinley, Ohio

"Good morning, Doctor Blahnik," I said when she came into the classroom.

"Good morning! And you know I expect you to start calling me Anicka once you graduate!"

"It just felt a bit too familiar while I was a student."

Her eyes twinkled, "Or not familiar enough..."

"You and your daughter are certainly cut from the same cloth!"

"Is that any surprise, really?"

"NO!" I chuckled.

José came in a moment later with Dona in tow, followed by Sticks and Kim. Elizaveta arrived just after them.

"I didn't realize we were inviting an audience!" Sticks said as he uncovered the drums.

"I made him bring me!" Dona declared. "Well, once I heard that Elizaveta was here last time."

Once we were all set up, we played through our repertoire of seven songs, though all of them were pretty ragged except Piano Man.

"I'd say mostly what you need is practice," Doctor Blahnik declared when we finished. "I think your rendition of Piano Man is very good."

"That's because it's simple!" José replied. "We also aren't using the full complement of instruments that Billy Joel used — piano, harmonica, bass guitar, acoustic guitar, accordion, mandolin, and drums."

"My point is," Doctor Blahnik continued, "that you have the timing and instrumental harmony down for that song. I suggested to Mike, and I want to suggest to the four of you, that you do this one piece at some point during the concert which José and Mike are giving in two weeks."

"You can't be serious!" Sticks objected.

"Why?" Doctor Blahnik replied. "You sounded great! Just practice that one song. Call it a teaser for after Mike comes back from his European vacation!"

"I saw trailers for that movie," Kim interjected. "I just don't see Mike as Clark Griswald!"

"I didn't see the first one," I replied. "Slapstick just isn't my thing."

"Oh, man, you HAVE to see it if you can," Sticks said. "It was absolutely hilarious!"

"You really think we should do that, Doctor Blahnik?" Kim asked.

"I do. It'll be good for you to do a public performance, even if it's just one song. And it's one that's part of the normal sets Mike and José do."

"Then I'm in," Kim replied.

"Me, too," José said.

"Sticks?" I asked.

"What the hell? Why not?"

"Then I guess we'll do it," I replied.

"What about a name?" Sticks asked.

"I think 'Code Blue' is the best one," Kim said. "I have a cool royal blue miniskirt and blouse set I could wear. I guess Mike is going to wear scrubs?"

"I was thinking that, yes, and I can get blue scrubs."

"If we do that, I think I'm going to go for a DePaul basketball jersey," Sticks said. "The Blue Demons."

"If you don't mind the duplicate theme, I'm going to get a Chelsea football jersey," José said.

"Who?" I asked.

"They play in the top division in English football, what you call soccer. I have to see if I can get the sheet music for Blue Is the Colour!"

"Their fight song?" Sticks asked.

"Basically," José replied.

"How do you watch that here?"

"It's tough, but the Spanish-language option from the cable service carries games, and there's a bar which shows them on Saturday and Sunday mornings. They also get South American team games and some other European ones. ESPN has carried a few games on tape delay, but not many, and I don't think I've seen any recently."

"I've seen Australian Rules football on ESPN in the dorm," I said. "But I don't recall seeing any soccer."

"That's the crazy game with referees wearing butcher coats, right?" Sticks asked.

"Yeah," I chuckled. "And they don't wear body armor like you used to!"

"I wish! Or my knees do!"

"Let's run through everything again," José said. "And then we'll practice Piano Man for the rest of our time."

We did that, and by the time everyone else packed up their things, I thought we sounded pretty good for only having practiced on three occasions.

When everyone else left, Elizaveta and I stayed so we could practice Up Where We Belong with Elizaveta playing the piano and singing the female parts while I sang and played my guitar.

"May I make a critical observation?" Doctor Blahnik asked.

"Sure," I replied.

"I strongly prefer the version you did at my house where Milena played, and you two sang to each other. The instruments take away some of the chemistry and energy you had. Can we try it with me at the piano and you two just singing to each other?"

"It's up to you, «Котёнок» (katyonak)," I said. ("Kitten")

"Let's try it Doctor Blahnik's way," she said, then lowered her voice, "it made me tingle!"

I had to use every ounce of self-control not to burst out laughing at Elizaveta's oblique way of describing the effect our singing had on her. She got up, and Doctor Blahnik sat down at the piano.

"Mike, the same way you sang Just the Way You Are with Milena, please."

I nodded and took both of Elizaveta's hands in mine, something I couldn't do when she was playing piano and hadn't done with Milena. I looked deeply into Elizaveta's eyes, and we waited as Doctor Blahnik played the intro. Elizaveta led off, and we sang the duet, holding hands and looking into each other's eyes the entire time. When we finished, Elizaveta threw her arms around me and put her lips to my ear.

"Mike," she demanded in a husky whisper, "I'm sixteen today! Take me somewhere and make love to me!"

I wanted to do exactly that, but the little angel on my right shoulder reminded me of my promise, and his voice was just slightly stronger than the combination of my own desire and the devil on my left shoulder encouraging me to do it.

"I think that answers the question!" Doctor Blahnik said with a soft laugh.

Elizaveta blushed, and her hand flew to her mouth.