Chapter 55: Challenge Accepted!

March 28, 1985, McKinley, Ohio

On Thursday, after my lesson with Doctor Blahnik, I met with Mark and Alyssa for our final catechism class. We finished reviewing the Nicene Creed and then went over the baptismal rite to ensure they knew exactly what would happen on Holy Saturday morning.

"Seriously?" Mark asked. "A horse trough?"

"It's painted gold with three-bar crosses on each side," I offered. "The only other options are a river or a lake. We could probably arrange that, if you felt it was important."

"No," he replied. "I was just surprised. I guess it makes sense because you need something large enough for an adult, and the baptismal font is designed for babies."

"Yes. And remember that you should fast from the end of Vespers on Holy Friday, which is the second-to-last service that day. I understand from Father Nicholas that he instructed you to eat a good breakfast on Friday morning, then have a light lunch. Did you work out with your school to have the day off?"

"Yes. The principal said that because they give Good Friday off, they'll allow us the day without marking us absent, so we'll still have perfect attendance. We just have to make up any work. There are no quizzes or tests, so it's basically just making sure we get the homework assignments. We both have friends who will get them for us for each class."

"Good. Any other questions about the baptismal rite?"

"No," Alyssa replied, and Mark confirmed by shaking his head.

"OK, then, about receiving the Eucharist. You two will be first in line, as there are no other baptisms that day, because I don't think Mrs. Bentzinger will have her baby in the next couple of days. Anyway, just cross your arms over your chest, right over left, tilt your head back, open your mouth, and allow Father to serve you the Eucharist from the spoon. The spoon won't touch your mouth — he'll just pour the Eucharist in. Then wipe your lips on the red cloth being held under your chin and kiss the base of the chalice. Then move to your left, take some of the blessed bread, and drink a sip of warm wine to wash it down. If you want, you can take that antidoron to your parents. It's not Eucharist, but it allows them to share in the «agápē» meal."

"I'm not sure mine will take it," Mark said. "Though I'm sure Alyssa's will."

"I think they're going to talk to Father Nicholas about becoming official catechumens," Alyssa said.

"That's great! Any fallout from your old church?"

"I think they're afraid of you!" Alyssa said with a soft laugh.

"I doubt that," I replied. "Tim Saddler was an unprepared lightweight. I am sure your Senior Pastor would have done a much better job. I'm not saying he could have won, but he sure wouldn't have lost quite so badly."

"All three of those guys who were arrested are back at church, according to my mom," Mark said.

"Normally, I'd say that's a good thing, but in this case, I think it just means they'll hear more of the same. In the end, what I care about is the safety of my friends, so hopefully, those three learned their lesson about acting on that teaching. Anyway, do you have any other questions about baptism or receiving the Eucharist?"

"How do I do a life confession?" Alyssa asked.

"I've never done one," I replied, "because I started going to confession when I was seven. I can only give you pointers; Father can answer any direct questions you might have. Basically, he does this as a conversation, and you should come prepared to discuss any areas where you've fallen short of living the Gospel. He's not going to ask for names or places or anything like that, but he will ask questions to be sure you've covered the major issues. And remember, the point is, you want to start with a 'clean slate', so to speak."

"What if we forget something?" Mark asked.

"The prayers make the point that forgetting is OK, so long as you aren't trying to deceive yourself."

"What about, uhm, making out?" Alyssa asked, blushing slightly.

"Kissing is generally OK, as is cuddling, hugging, or holding hands. Anything beyond that you should discuss with Father Nicholas."

"What happens if you commit a big sin?" she asked.

"It depends on the person and the sin," I replied. "Remember, confession is akin to going to the doctor. Sin is a symptom, and Father will provide guidance on how to deal with those symptoms. The actual disease, if you will, is mortality. Death is our true enemy, and the Eucharist is the medicine of immortality. The doctor doesn't condemn you for an illness, though he might give you guidance on how to live a healthier life. That is exactly what confession is, and when combined with the Eucharist, it is for the healing of soul and body.

"As for what happens, most often Father Nicholas, like most priests, will adjust your prayer rule and your fasting rule, with the goal of you learning spiritual discipline. In some extreme instances, he might ask you to refrain from coming to the Eucharist. I've also known him to suggest outside counseling when necessary."

"Extreme cases?" Mark asked.

"Call it anything for which you could reasonably be sent to jail or something which might cause a scandal if it were known publicly. There are other things, such as being responsible for a death in combat, for example, which would lead to refraining from the Eucharist for a year. And before you ask any specifics, please don't because I can't answer. How Father Nicholas deals with each individual is directly related to what is necessary for their salvation. And I honestly do not need to hear anyone else's sins; I have sufficient sins of my own to deal with."

"That's something the elders and pastors at our old church would never admit publicly."

"We aren't Donatists — clergy do not have to be sinless for the sacraments to be efficacious. When I objected to being ordained because of my sinful ways, the bishop pointed out that if that were a disqualification, we'd have no clergy. One important thing about that — do not take that as a license to sin, nor should you view confession as a way to 'get away with it'."

"You mean like thinking it's OK to do something because you can go to confession later?" Alyssa asked.

"Exactly. Personally, I don't believe God accepts us trying to 'game the system', as it were. Also, remember that confession isn't meant to embarrass you. In fact, Father Nicholas has probably heard anything you're likely to confess before and likely on multiple occasions. And probably from the people you think are least likely to sin! But that's also not something you should worry about. Worry about your sins and being healed, x and let others worry about theirs."

"What about accountability?" Mark asked. "Our old church had this thing called 'accountability partners'."

"In the Orthodox Church, that is first and foremost your pastor. It's also the role your godparents take on," I replied. "And each other, if you're in a relationship."

"How often are you supposed to go to confession?" Alyssa asked.

"I know it sounds trite, but as often as you need to. Some people go weekly; others go just once a year, during Holy Week. You should listen to your conscience. Father Nicholas will have some guidance for you based on where you're struggling. Anything else on confession?"

"No."

"Then make sure you speak with Doctor Evgeni and Maria about your Pascha basket. For this year, you might just share with them, though if your parents will be at Pascha, Alyssa, you might want to prepare one for the two of you and your parents. Mark, are your parents coming to your baptism?"

"Yes. I invited them to the other services, but I doubt they'll come."

"Don't push," I counseled. "Just witness by your life and see where things go. I'll see you tomorrow night at church."

"Can I ask why you haven't been coming to the Friday Compline and Akathist services?" Alyssa asked.

I nodded, "Yes. Father Nicholas felt it was better for Elizaveta and me to spend time together, given that it was our only possible date night. We decided that we'll go tomorrow, as it's the last one before Holy Week starts. A week from tomorrow are the Vespers and Compline for Saint Lazarus. So, if there's nothing else, then I'll see you tomorrow night!"

They said 'goodbye', and after they left, I practiced with the balalaika for about an hour, then headed back to campus to have dinner with the gang.

March 29, 1985, McKinley, Ohio

On Friday, we had no exams, so I drove to Elizaveta's house to meet her when she arrived home from school. I had just parked in the driveway when the bus dropped her off, and I got out quickly so we could hug. She hurried to me, we hugged, and I took her book bag from her and followed her into the house.

"How was school today?" I asked.

"Just another day. I need to go upstairs and change. You can wait in the great room. Mom is home, but nobody else."

"OK."

She went upstairs, and rather than go to the great room, I went to find Yulia Kozlov, who was putting bread in the oven for dinner.

"Hi, Mom," I said.

She laughed, "Not quite yet, but thank you! How are you, Mike?"

"Good. I figure if Elizaveta is calling me 'husband' then I should be OK calling you 'Mom'!"

"Of course! Just don't take that 'husband' bit TOO far before the end of May."

"I believe that goes without saying, but I understand the reminder."

She smiled, "I know all about being a teenager. It may have been a few years, but I do remember!"

"What year did you marry?" I asked.

"June of 1961. Gennady was born just under two years later. Iosif two years after him, and then there's a gap of about five years to our little surprise!"

I chuckled, "Babies have a way of doing that, don't they?"

"To be honest, we had tried and, after four years, assumed we weren't going to be able to have another. About two months after we gave up hope, I was pregnant with Elizaveta."

"I think the phrase is 'God works in mysterious ways'! And I'm not about to complain about the sequence of events!"

"I should think not!" she replied with a soft laugh. "We'll have dinner in time for you two to get to church for Compline."

"Thanks."

"Mike?" I heard Elizaveta call out.

"My master's voice," I said in a conspiratorial way.

Yulia winked, "And she won't let you forget it!"

I left the kitchen and met Elizaveta walking towards me.

"I was just saying 'Hi' to your mom."

"What did you do today?"

"Just turned in my papers for Abnormal Psych and Russian Literature, then hung out with whoever wasn't sitting for an exam."

"Peter Systov agreed to be our DJ. Dad worked out how much to pay him, and he's happy. He does want to borrow some of your albums."

"I think I might have to make a list because neither of you can come into my room to see the collection."

"That's just SO dumb! It's a special occasion!"

"Maybe I can move most of the collection to the cottage," I said. "I can keep a dozen albums and my new CDs and swap them out to keep from hearing the same stuff too often."

"Are you sure?"

"It's only eight weeks," I replied.

"Fifty-eight days!" Elizaveta declared.

"Fine, eight weeks and two days! But it'll be OK. And if I buy new stuff on CDs, then there won't be any concerns at all. Well, except for not being able to play those songs at the wedding, but that's not really a big deal. I'll get the guys to help me box everything up and bring them down to my car next Saturday."

"If you're sure."

"I am."

"Can I come to your band practice tomorrow morning? Dad said he'd bring me to campus, and you can bring me home."

"Is that a question or a command?" I asked with a silly smile.

"I asked, didn't I?" Elizaveta protested.

"After already having talked to your dad and presenting it to me as a fait accompli!"

"Are you upset with me?" she asked quietly.

I chuckled, "No, I'm just teasing you! Of course, it's OK. 10:00am in the Humanities Building, which is just past the Administration building. The music room is on the first floor."

"Thanks. Do you think I order you around?"

I smiled, "Only with regard to marrying you! And that was probably necessary because I was a total blockhead!"

"Probably?"

"Definitely."

"I don't want to control you, Mike."

"Said no Russian woman EVER in the history of the world!" I teased.

"I just said it!" Elizaveta protested.

"You are very easy to wind up!" I chuckled.

She narrowed her eyes, "Why are you teasing me?"

"Because I can?" I replied with a smile. "But seriously, if it really bothers you, I'll stop."

Elizaveta smirked, "Got you!"

"So you DO want to control me?"

"I do happen to be a Russian woman!" she said mirthfully. "But I think you'll like the benefits that come with marrying me!"

"I'm sure you're right!" I agreed.

March 30, 1985, McKinley, Ohio

"Kim, Sticks, this is Elizaveta, my fiancée," I said when she walked into the music room on Saturday morning.

"Fiancée?" Kim asked, clearly surprised.

"We're going to marry on May 26th," Elizaveta said.

"You look really young for your age!" Kim said.

"I AM young!" Elizaveta replied. "I turn sixteen in about three weeks."

"Whoa!" Kim exclaimed.

"Robbing the cradle?" Sticks teased.

"Careful!" José warned with a big smile on his face, "She's Russian. You do NOT want to mess with her!"

"Let's just play," I said with a grin. "If she makes the same argument to you that she made to me, we won't get any practice in this morning!"

"Where should I sit, Mike?" Elizaveta asked.

"Anywhere you like," I said.

She sat down, and I unpacked my guitar and music.

"Let's play through our three songs a couple of times each," José directed, "and then we can talk about what kind of songs we'd want in our sets."

Everyone agreed, so we did as he suggested and played through the three songs — Born to Run, Piano Man, and It's Still Rock and Roll to Me — twice each. We were getting better, but there were still mistakes.

"You know," I said, "it might not be a bad idea to ask Doctor Blahnik to listen to us and give some advice. I'll talk to her, if that's OK."

"That's probably not a bad idea," José agreed. "Any ideas what songs all of you would like to sing?"

"I think I almost have to do In the Air Tonight by Phil Collins," Sticks said. "The drum break near the end is just out of this world!"

"Well, if that's how we're going to roll," Kim said, "I have to do Great Balls of Fire! I could do it either on keyboards or with an actual piano."

"Then I think Born to Run is my song for the guitar riff," I said.

"Given Mike's aversion to ABBA, which I know you other two share, I'll go with You Are So Beautiful by Joe Cocker."

"Nah, Man," Sticks said, "if it's your song, it should be what you want, right guys?"

"Yes," Kim said.

"I think that's right," I added.

He grinned, "Maybe I should sing Does Your Mother Know for Mike and Elizaveta," he teased.

"Her mom knows," I chuckled.

"What?!" Elizaveta exclaimed.

"Later, «Котёнок» (katyonak)," I said. ("Kitten")

She gave me 'that look' with narrowed eyes but didn't say anything more.

"I was actually joking about ABBA because pretty much all the songs are written for a female lead. I'll stick with You Are So Beautiful. I've been playing that for Dona."

"OK," Kim said. "If we're laying out sets, I'd say those four songs are sung right before the last song of our second set, and I have a suggestion for our closing number — Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen."

"That seems like a serious stretch," I said.

"We're not planning on playing in public anytime soon, right? I mean, the earliest would be sometime in the Fall?"

"Given my schedule, yes."

"Then I'd like to do that," Kim said firmly. "In fact, I'm getting a picture of how we do this. We start off with I Write the Songs and close the first set with Piano Man. We open the second set with I've Got the Music in Me by The Kiki Dee Band, finish with our individual songs and Bohemian Rhapsody, and our encores are It's Still Rock and Roll to Me and Thank You For the Music. That all hangs together with a theme. We can pick pretty much any songs to fill out the playlist."

"Mike, could you play While My Guitar Gently Weeps?" Sticks asked. "That would be a great song for the first set."

"I don't have the tabs or music for it, but I'm sure I could learn it," I replied.

"I think this theme is cool," Sticks continued. "How about adding I Love Rock 'n' Roll by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts?"

There were nods of agreement.

"Maybe Listen to the Music by the Doobie Brothers?" José suggested.

"Hang on," Kim said. "Let me get my notebook and write these down. I'll put together a sample set list."

She reached into her bag and pulled out a tattered blue notebook, opened to a clean page, and wrote down the songs.

"Old Time Rock and Roll, by Bob Seger," Sticks suggested.

"How about Radio Ga Ga?" I suggested. "And maybe Video Killed the Radio Star?"

"If you guys are up for AC/DC, we have Rock and Roll Ain't Noise Pollution," Kim suggested.

"Are we going to be able to learn all of these songs?" I asked.

"Mike, you practice your guitar every day, right?" José asked.

"Mostly, yes."

"Then you practice these. If you're playing rhythm guitar, once you get them down, most of the work is on us. You could even record your practice sessions, and we could use those if you aren't available."

"I suppose," I said.

"You should do it, Mike," Elizaveta said. "It'll be a good way to get your mind off school, which I think you'll need to, so you don't get too stressed."

"I thought that was why I was marrying you!" I teased.

"Behave!" she said sternly, but with a slight smile and a twinkle in her eye.

"Yes, Dear," I deadpanned.

"We need to do The Entertainer by Billy Joel for sure," José said. "Mike knows that one."

"I've heard him," Kim said. "I agree."

"We Will Rock You by Queen," Sticks suggested. "A great song would be American Pie, but I think it's way too long at eight-and-a-half minutes."