Chapter 53: There’s nobody else here...

March 9, 1985, McKinley, Ohio

On Saturday morning, Clarissa and I had breakfast together at Doctor Blahnik's house, where we were both staying during break. I'd slept at the dorm the previous night because it didn't officially close until Saturday at noon, and I had walked over from the dorm. I'd made my toast with jam, sliced a grapefruit, then poured a glass of grapefruit juice and joined Clarissa at the kitchen table where she was eating bacon and pancakes with maple syrup.

"How are things at home?" Clarissa asked.

"Fine. Mom showed Elizaveta our photo albums."

"All Jocelyn, all the time!" Clarissa laughed. "I've seen them. You two were basically inseparable!"

"No kidding. And I'm glad we're close again, though it's not like it was before."

"It's not like it was before between you and me, either."

"You mean because of Elizaveta?"

"Obviously. I really enjoyed cuddling, and we can't do that now."

"Things are good between you and Abby, right?"

"Yes. But despite my orientation, having you cuddle me is different from cuddling with Abby."

"Hugs are OK," I replied.

Clarissa smiled, "Those I will take in whatever quantity your pussy cat will allow!"

"It translates as 'kitten'," I replied piously.

"And what I just said NEVER crossed your mind? Not even once after six months of celibacy?"

"Remember, I promised Angie I'd be celibate for as long as it took and did the same with Lara."

"But as active as you were..."

"Do I miss it? Yes. Do I think about it? YES! Is that enough for me to do something stupid? Emphatically, NO!"

"You're not worried about Doctor Blahnik sneaking into your room?" Clarissa asked with a smirk.

"No, because she's ethical. And while she may be free to do what she suggested, she knows I'm not."

"Exactly right!" Doctor Blahnik said, coming into the kitchen.

"How long were you listening?"

"I wasn't," she replied. "I just came downstairs. You two are up early, especially given you didn't sleep here last night, Mike."

"We wanted to spend some time together before my sister and her husband show up to have lunch with Elizaveta, Abby, and us."

"She's bringing her ABBA albums?" Doctor Blahnik asked with a silly smile.

"Yes. And thank you very much for announcing that to the world!"

Both Doctor Blahnik and Clarissa laughed.

"ABBA?" Clarissa asked, tittering.

"A very annoying professor of music decided to yank my chain with an assignment that has NOTHING to do with our literature class!"

"You played ABBA at the concert!" Clarissa declared.

"I backed José on that one — he sang and played lead."

"And I encouraged Mike to look past what he calls 'bubblegum pop' and see the true talent that Björn Ulvaeus and Benny Andersson have. Did you get the Chess album, Mike?"

"Yes," I replied.

"And?"

"Everyone liked it, and you were right."

"What does that have to do with ABBA?" Clarissa asked.

Doctor Blahnik smiled as she had in the music room on Thursday, "The music was composed by Benny Andersson and Björn Ulvaeus, with the lyrics created by Ulvaeus and Tim Rice, who did Jesus Christ Superstar and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat."

"Seriously?" Clarissa asked.

"Yes," Doctor Blahnik replied.

"I would never have guessed!"

"Ditto," I added. "She asked me to listen to a set of ABBA songs, as well as the Chess album, and report back on my impression of how talented Andersson and Ulvaeus are."

"Your sister is going to give you serious grief!"

"She did when I called her to ask to borrow her albums!"

"I'll leave you two to finish breakfast," Doctor Blahnik said.

She turned and left before we could say anything, so Clarissa and I finished eating, cleaned up the kitchen, then went to the great room to sit close together on the rug in front of the fireplace.

"Can you believe it's been four years?" Clarissa asked.

"Time has flown," I replied. "It seems like yesterday I graduated from High School, and in six months, we'll start medical school."

"A lot is going to happen in those six months!"

"No kidding! And we've all changed quite a bit."

"You more than anyone."

"I had to," I replied. "Or I would have failed at some point. You do remember me sitting on a bench in the middle of a snowstorm, right?"

"We thought you were suicidal! Not that you would have done it intentionally, but because you were so out of sorts, you didn't care you were freezing to death."

"I appreciate everything you did."

"And Milena, Deb, and Angie."

"If I could change just one thing," I said longingly, "it would be for Angie to have been healthy enough to finish school."

"That would have changed everything," Clarissa replied.

"Only if she was healthy enough to have a relationship, and that I don't think was ever possible."

"Are you still blaming yourself?"

"No, not really. You know the problem, though."

"That you're a trigger. But it's not really you, Mike. It's her illness."

"I know that, and it's why I don't blame myself, but I still feel bad about it. All I can do now is wait."

"Have you thought more about your speech?" Clarissa asked.

"I'm pretty sure I'm going to stick to the first theme I thought of — growing up. That said, I have a lot more growing up to do."

"I'd say you have about three months to complete that task."

I chuckled, "Not a chance! As my grandmother likes to say, she raised two sons and a husband."

Clarissa laughed, "Nice!"

"But it fits with what Mr. Sokolov said — God gives us wives to make us better men."

"And your little pussy cat is going to 'whip' you into shape?" Clarissa teased.

"Oh, stop!" I protested, but I was laughing.

"I could get Doctor Blahnik, and we could both tease you!"

"So this is how it's going to be?"

"Why change now?" she asked with a smirk.

"Lissa, you're as bad as Liz ever was!"

"Good! I'll take that as a compliment from the likes of you, Petrovich!"

"You would!"

"How about we go watch some MTV?" Clarissa suggested. "I want to see the new music video."

We got up and moved over to the television. I turned it on and used the remote to change the channel on the cable box to MTV. We were rewarded about thirty-five minutes later when they played We Are the World. The song was catchy, but what was truly amazing was the sheer number of musicians who were participating.

I could identify nearly all of them, from Lionel Richie, who had the first solo part, to Ray Charles, who had the last, with the likes of Billy Joel, Bruce Springsteen, Michael Jackson, Kenny Rogers, Steve Perry, and Diana Ross, to name a few others, singing solos as well. I was surprised to see Dan Aykroyd in the chorus, along with Michael Jackson's brothers and sisters and a host of others.

"That was much better than Do They Know It's Christmas," I said when the song finished. "I wonder why Michael Jackson didn't sing with everyone else, and they spliced in his parts."

"No clue," Clarissa said. "I liked it, too. Do you know if it's available for purchase?"

"No idea, but we can stop by the music store before we pick up Elizaveta for lunch."

"Why don't we leave now? We'll have lots of time to browse."

"Sounds good."

We went to the front hall, put on our Winter gear, then headed out to my car, which was parked in the street in front of Doctor Blahnik's house. I opened the passenger door for Clarissa, and once she had climbed in, I shut the door and went around to the driver's side to get in. Once we were buckled in, I started the car, pulled away from the curb, and headed for the music store. We arrived a few minutes later, and I parked in the small lot behind the building.

We got out of the car and went inside and found the singles of We Are the World, and after a moment's thought, I picked up a videotape of the music video, which I would be able to play in Viktor's VCR. We browsed for a bit, and after talking with the clerk, Johnny, whom I'd known for almost four years, I bought a copy of No Jacket Required by Phil Collins.

"A drummer who isn't hopeless?" Clarissa asked.

"Call him one of the exceptions that prove the rule," I chuckled.

"Are you dissing drummers?" Johnny asked.

"Yeah," I chuckled, "But we're equal opportunity, and we make jokes about bass players, too!"

"Spoken like a guitar player!" he chuckled.

"You know, it's been over three years, and I never asked if you played an instrument," I said.

"Keyboards mostly. I play the organ at the local Catholic church."

"Saint Augustine? Where Father Jacobs is the pastor?"

"Yes. You know him?"

"He was our professor for Latin and for World Religions," I replied.

"He's a good guy," Johnny replied. "He's leaving at the end of the Summer, though. He's been reassigned to a parish in Columbus."

"I am so happy our priests are not rotated or moved around except in very limited and exceptional circumstances."

"What church?"

"Saint Michael the Archangel Orthodox Church."

"I would have never pegged you for a Russian."

"My dad is Dutch, and I take after him."

"That explains the last name that doesn't end in a 'v'!"

"My mother's maiden name is Borodin, so not every Slavic name ends in a 'v'!"

"And not every drummer is hopeless!" he replied.

"True! Anything on your upcoming release list that looks good?"

"Slade has a new album later this month — Rogue's Gallery. And next month, Around the World in a Day by Prince and the Revolution. I already planned to set those aside for you when they come in. The other one I think you'll be interested in is Brothers in Arms by Dire Straits. That's in May."

"Thanks. We're off to lunch with my sister and her husband and my fiancée."

"See you in a week or two," he replied.

"Absolutely!"

We left the store and got into my car to head to Elizaveta's house. She was ready and waiting, and the three of us headed to Frisch's to meet Abby, Liz, and Paul for lunch.

"Here are your ABBA albums!" Liz said loudly, handing me a brown paper grocery bag.

"I love you, too, Lizard Breath!" I replied.

"She uses mouthwash now, so it's not quite so bad," Paul said deadpan, causing me to double over in laughter.

"Paul!" Liz growled in protest.

"Hey, announcing the contents of that bag was a swipe at EVERY red-blooded man on this planet! We have to stick together!"

"What's wrong with ABBA?" Abby asked.

"Don't ask!" Clarissa said, laughing softly.

"It's for an assignment," I said firmly.

The hostess led us to a large corner booth and after we sat down, took our drink orders. When she brought them back, she took our food orders and left to put them in with the kitchen.

"Everything going OK?" I asked Paul.

"I don't think things could be much better, really. I talked to Mr. Zhuravlyov to see if there was any way Liz and I could buy the motel from him when he retired."

"Wow! What did he say?"

"That it was something he would consider. The biggest problem will be our ability to get a business loan with a felony on my record. But it's a few years off, so we have time."

"I hope that works out for you both. That would be awesome."

"We think so, too. Anything new on your front?"

"Not since the last time we had breakfast. Things are moving along."

"And Dad is still being Dad," Liz added.

"I know," I replied. "I got looks from him when I said Amy was moving to Chicago with Clark and they weren't getting married, and when I said something about Clarissa and Abby."

"What about us?" Abby asked.

"My dad has very conservative views on anything to do with sex or sexual orientation. He doesn't approve of ANY of our choices, be they Paul's, mine, yours, Clarissa's, or Liz's. He does approve of Elizaveta, though he gave me grief about her age."

"WE gave you grief about her age until we got to know her," Abby said.

"I just don't get why everyone is so freaked out about me being fifteen and being ready to get married!" Elizaveta fumed. "It's not like anyone is making me do it or that I have to do it; I WANT to do it. Mike is the perfect guy for me, and he needs a wife, so I asked him to marry me!"

"It's true what they say about Russian women," Paul said soberly. "Even half-Russian!"

"HEY!" Liz protested.

I chuckled, "Right, Liz, because you aren't every bit as headstrong as EVERY Russian woman in either parish!"

"He has a point, Liz," Paul said with a smirk.

"Guess who's sleeping on the couch?!" Liz threatened.

"Uh-huh," Paul said smugly. "We'll see who gives in first on THAT topic!"

Everyone other than Liz laughed, though Elizaveta also blushed slightly.

"You walked right into that one, Lizzy," I grinned.

"All you Russian girls are VERY passionate but VERY headstrong!" Clarissa teased.

"So true!" I agreed.

I moved my hand to touch Elizaveta's and gave hers a soft squeeze, causing her to smile. The waitress brought our food and I gave the blessing, for which Liz rolled her eyes, and then we started eating. When we finished, we drank coffee and chatted, and then Paul and Liz headed back to Rutherford while Clarissa went with Abby, and I took Elizaveta back to Doctor Blahnik's house so we could spend some time together before Vespers.

When we arrived, we went to the music room, and I put on one of Doctor Blahnik's classical albums I very much enjoyed — The Planets by Gustav Holst. Once I'd adjusted the volume, I went to sit with Elizaveta on the loveseat. I put my arm around her, and she snuggled close. We exchanged a few soft kisses, but then they became a bit more heated and eventually searing.

"Mike," Elizaveta whispered, "there's nobody else here..."

I was VERY tempted, but doing anything beyond kissing was a recipe for disaster.

"We can't, «Котёнок» (katyonak)," I replied as gently as I could. "I want to, but we both know we'd have to confess, and that would create serious issues with my ordination. Father Nicholas was very clear — no slip-ups in that regard." ("Kitten")

She pulled away and crossed her arms.

"So you could do it with Tasha and Jocelyn? But not me?"

"No, I couldn't. But I did. And it created significant questions in Father Nicholas' mind. I promised him, before I even came to dinner at your house, that I was going to be chaste. He made it clear that if I wasn't, that would mean I wouldn't be ordained. You know I can't lie to him."

Elizaveta frowned, but I knew she didn't really have an answer. I wanted to be with her as much as she wanted to be with me, but the price was just too high.

"No," she said slowly, her voice clearly communicating her frustration. "You can't lie. But it's just so wrong!"

"I'm sorry you're frustrated," I said. "And I'm sorry I disappointed you."

Elizaveta smiled, "I forgave you for what you did with them!"

"But not for refusing you now, even though we'd both be in trouble with Father Nicholas, and I'd be in trouble with the bishop?"

Elizaveta screwed up her face because there really wasn't a resolution to what she so clearly wanted except time. There were only about eleven weeks to go, and in the scheme of things, at least for me, that wasn't a long time. For her, though, it might be an eternity.

"Promise me something?"

"What?"

"We don't stay too long at our reception!" she said fiercely.

"I think that can be arranged!" I agreed.

March 11, 1985, McKinley and West Monroe, Ohio

"So what are we going to do during the day while Elizaveta is in school?" Clarissa asked as we ate breakfast on Monday morning.

"I just planned to chill, so if you aren't with Abby, we can just hang out."

"She's working days at the clinic, so it's just you and me, Petrovich. Tasha is working, right?"

"Yes. We could get together with Jocelyn and Gene; they're just hanging out at Jocelyn's house."

Clarissa smirked, "I bet she's frustrated!"

I chuckled, "I know, right? Her parents are making Gene stay in the guest room. That's kind of my fault, too."

"Oh, please! She basically dragged you to bed with her! She told me that herself!"

"True, but it did disrespect her parents. I made the same mistake, if you will, at my house with Becky."

"Your mom was supportive, though; it was just your dad."

"That's true, but it doesn't change the facts."

"I'm curious; what will you do about YOUR kids?"

"I think you're asking the wrong half of the relationship!" I chuckled. "But that would present a potential issue with the bishop because of my position. It's one thing if they're sexually active, and I don't officially know about it; it's another thing to condone it in my household."

"You're really going to be living under a microscope!"

"Voluntarily. Fundamentally, everything I believe conforms to what people expect of me. And, to be honest, it's how I should have conducted my life for the past four years."

"And then you would still be basically the same person you were in High School, and THAT would be a disaster of epic proportions!"

"There had to be another way," I replied. "One that would have created a similar result without bedding a score of girls."

"And yet, I can't imagine you regret all of them."

"No, and if you mean you, then absolutely, positively no!"

"And there is no way you could have avoided being with Tasha, right?"

"Yes, and you can go down the list and probably find justification for most of them, but that doesn't make it right. I knew I was sinning, and I did it anyway."