Chapter 4: Colonel Schumacher

June 2, 1984, McKinley, Ohio

On Saturday morning, Clarissa left for her volunteer job at the local free clinic, and I headed to the dorm to move my things from Rickenbacker 8 to Rickenbacker 2. It took about an hour to move everything and get it set up again. I'd just finished when I heard a very familiar voice call my name.

"Hi, Jos!" I replied happily, holding out my arms.

We hugged and exchanged a gentle kiss, and then I pushed her cart down the hallway to her room.

"You could have come up to get me to help load your cart," I said.

"I didn't bring everything with me, so this is it. Is Clarissa working?"

"She's at her volunteer job at the clinic. She's skipping Vespers tonight to hang out with you. Maggie, Tasha, and I are going to church. Tasha wants to host Sunday evening dinner at her apartment, at least during the Summer. Clarissa and I thought that would be a good idea."

"Just the four of us?"

"Yes. I'll see Maggie for church, we have a regular Friday night date arranged, and I'll see her one other evening during the week. That means we see each other five times a week, which to me feels more than sufficient."

Jocelyn unlocked her room, and we went in.

"Have you and Tasha ended things?"

"Yes. She's telling her dad today when she goes home to see Sasha and Vika. Her mom already knows."

"How bad will this be?"

"Not very. Deacon Vasily will be upset, but Tasha's logic is sound, so he'll come around pretty quickly. Especially if she begins seeing Nikolas."

Jocelyn started unpacking directly from the cart.

"Who's your roommate?" I asked.

"A girl named Dona Bingham from Milford. I called Clarissa earlier in the week to find out about her. She's an incoming Freshman and business major; she took a year off after graduating from High School."

"Hopefully, she'll be cool. I have a two-hour orientation meeting at 10:00am, and I planned to meet Clarissa for lunch at 12:15pm. You're welcome to join us."

"Cool. Can I ask an important question?"

"If you can't, who can?"

Jocelyn laughed, "Which is always your answer, so I should just ask, but it seems like the polite thing to do."

"To warn the other person, a potentially difficult question is coming?"

"I guess so, yes. Who keeps your appointment book?"

"Appointment book?"

"For sleeping with you."

"Clarissa. You and I need to talk about how we're handling our relationship in that regard."

"I sort of figured that when school starts in the Fall and Lara is back, you have to be on your best behavior, so to speak."

"A lot depends on what Lara decides. And she is absolutely not the 'jealous bitch' type. She knows I'll have close female friends, and I've talked to her about you and Clarissa."

"Does Lara know?"

"That Clarissa is a lesbian? Obviously."

Jocelyn smirked, "That's what I thought. Tasha, Liz, and I know, but that's it, right?"

"No, she's out openly now. Tasha and Clarissa are becoming close friends, which I have to say, given Tasha's original reaction, is downright miraculous."

"Tasha just needed to break away from her dad," Jocelyn observed. "I think I got a very good picture of her over Christmas break and some insights into who she really is. I think you got those when she arranged her overnight visit last Fall."

I nodded, "Very true. How about you and I talk after lunch? Clarissa has to go back to the clinic, and I can't imagine any crisis occurring as kids move in today."

Jocelyn laughed, "THAT kind of talk? Like you and Milena?"

"If you have no objections."

"Given the last time I saw you was Spring Break, none at all!"

She finished unpacking, and I went with her to return the cart. When she went back upstairs, I headed to the Administration building for the brief orientation. I was glad I'd been able to skip the day-long orientation for new RAs, which had been held on Friday and would only have to sit through what amounted to a refresher. Dean Anderson spent the first hour going over the dorm rules, focusing on the changes from previous years, which mostly revolved around overnight guests. After she finished, the school nurse talked about handling health emergencies, which reminded me that I needed to renew my CPR card.

"I don't put up with any shenanigans, Loucks," Kelly Prager said, coming up behind me as I walked down the hallway towards the doors.

"And I don't put up with nosy busy-bodies who have WAY too much free time, which must be the case if they're worried about what goes on behind closed doors."

"You heard Dean Anderson; the rules are to be enforced."

"Then enforce them," I replied.

"That means YOU have to follow them. I know about your sleeping arrangements."

I stopped, "Whatever you think you know is irrelevant. What I do is my business, and I expect you to stay out of it."

"The lezzy isn't a student this Summer, and you have to sleep in the dorms every night unless you get express permission from Dean Anderson."

Which nobody had EVER bothered with in the past. Everyone was casual about it, and that included Dean Anderson, so long as someone agreed to cover. But if Kelly made an issue of it, then Dean Anderson would have to do something about it. And that created a real issue for Clarissa and me.

"Call her that again, and I'll bring you before the Student Arbitration Committee. And you know as well as I do that if you lose there, you lose your RA position permanently. The campus has a clear non-discrimination policy. I expect YOU to follow it."

"Perverts are taking over the world!" she protested.

"Look, if you want to be president of the 'Junior Anti-Sex League', that's your business. Leave me and my friends out of it!"

"The what?"

"Run — don't walk, run — to the library and check out a copy of Nineteen Eighty-Four. Read it. Learn it."

I turned on my heel and walked away, fully realizing that the rumors about Kelly were true. Now, I had to figure out how to survive the next eight weeks without killing her. I quickly walked to the dorm, where Jocelyn was waiting for me in the lobby. We left immediately and headed to the burger joint, where Clarissa was waiting for us in a booth. She hopped up and hugged Jocelyn, and then all three of us sat down.

"I had a nice chat with Kelly Prager," I said, by voice dripping with sarcasm.

"The rumors are true?" Clarissa asked.

"In spades," I sighed. "She made it clear she won't accept the casual 'cover for me' arrangements that everyone always used, AND she made a point of saying, and I'm quoting here, 'the lezzy isn't a student'. I told her if she called you that again, I'd take her to the Student Arbitration Committee for violating the non-discrimination policy. That's when she declared that 'perverts' were taking over the world."

"What rock did SHE crawl out from under?" Jocelyn asked.

"No clue," I replied.

"So now what?" Clarissa asked.

"Well, if we follow the rules to the letter," I said. "You could spend three nights a week with me, so long as no more than two were consecutive. So, something like Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday? But I won't be able to escape sleeping in the dorms without written approval from the Dean if Kelly decides to stick to her guns."

"What IS her problem?" Jocelyn asked.

"Well," I replied, "given the 'pervert' comment, I'd say she has a fatal case of toxic evangelical fundamentalism. That's the basic tack that the, ahem, 'Reverend' used to try to prevent ANY overnight guests."

Jocelyn put her face in her palm and shook her head.

"Right," she said, "because sex is only biologically possible after 11:00pm and before 6:00am, and only in a bed. Probably with all the lights out, too."

"My interest in Kelly's sex life, or Reverend Saddler's sex life, or the lack thereof for either of them, is in the negative range," I said. "I'd simply appreciate they give me the same courtesy."

"Fat chance," Clarissa said. "I suspect they also believe it's impossible to share a bed without sex and probably impossible for guys and girls to be close friends without having sex."

"Well..." I chuckled.

Both Jocelyn and Clarissa laughed.

"Did you meet your roommate yet, Jos?" I asked.

"No."

"Don't you have orientation, Jos?" Clarissa asked.

"Transfer students aren't required to attend if they have enough credits to be a Junior, which I do."

"Back to the earlier question — what do you think, Lissa?"

"It's not perfect, but the last thing I want is for you to get in trouble. And I know you need the stipend and free room and board."

"I've actually thought about taking Doctor Blahnik up on her offer for Senior year, but Michelle is pretty cool, so I think I'll stick with the original plan."

The waitress took our orders and brought our Cokes.

"What if you marry?" Jocelyn asked.

"Doctor Blahnik was totally cool with me having a girlfriend live with me, so I don't think she'd have a problem with a wife living with me. And she made it clear we were welcome to have our study group at the house. With Milena gone and Derek away during the week, the house is basically empty, and I think Doctor Blahnik needs company."

Clarissa smirked, "So it's THAT offer you're going to accept!"

"What did I miss?" Jocelyn asked.

"According to Sandy, Doctor Blahnik has made it clear that she'd very much like some very personal attention from Mike."

"She flirts," I replied. "But she and Derek are a couple."

"Sandy was one hundred percent sure that they'd have swapped if you were game!"

"I have no interest in Derek," I replied, doing my best to sound serious but failing because I smirked.

"I think I might pay to see that!" Clarissa teased. "Though you'd greatly upset Robby!"

"I can't wait to meet this group," Jocelyn said. "They all sound like fun."

"You should talk with Sophia about rooming together for your Senior year," Clarissa said. "Mike, Sandy, and I will be out of the dorms, but she's just starting her Junior year now."

"I'll worry about that next Spring. Did you guys schedule your MCAT?"

"July 13th in Cincinnati," I replied. "I'll visit Angie and see Doctor Mercer that weekend as well. That reminds me, I need to put in the request to Dean Anderson for two nights away. Mr. Sokolov will cover that Friday at the Quick Mart."

The waitress brought our burgers and fries, and after we ate, Clarissa headed back to the clinic and Jocelyn and I headed back to the dorm and went into my room. I locked the door, we undressed, got into bed, made love gently, then cuddled together, leaning against the long pillow pushed up against the wall.

"Still planning on the reset?" Jocelyn asked.

"Yes. I think I actually let myself get a bit out of control in the past year."

"You have regrets?"

"That's a good question," I replied. "If I look back, each individual encounter makes sense, but the overall set of encounters doesn't."

"Your number is 'too high'?"

"Also a good question. I think, ultimately, I got used to having sex and allowed my weakness to define me. That, combined with my desire to have a regular sex partner, led me to where I am."

"Feeling that you somehow failed?"

"I certainly missed the mark," I replied.

"Besides Janey, who I know you think was a mistake, is there anyone else you wish you'd handled differently?"

"Mindy, for sure, but that's mostly because of how she's behaving now. And the situation with Janey is more one of not understanding what it was she was looking for. It's kind of like the situation with Nancy, though there, Nancy herself didn't know what she wanted. In both cases, I received mixed signals that they wanted both a casual and a serious relationship, which is somewhat contradictory."

"Not just 'somewhat'," Jocelyn observed. "But weren't both of those important to learning about how to have an adult relationship?"

"Sure, but I'm not sure sex was necessary to do that. The same is true for Melody, actually."

"I'm surprised you didn't mention your threesome."

"The end justifies the means," I said with a smile. "Milena and Joel are together because of that, and I learned a lot about myself, about relationships, and about life from Milena. That couldn't have happened except for she and I doing exactly what you and I are doing right now."

"I'd say it sounds as if you're conflicted about sex, which was your problem three years ago."

"Welcome to my world," I chuckled. "I've struggled with this from the beginning. And now, looking back, I'm disappointed in myself. Not in a way that's going to depress me or mess me up, but in a way that says I need to focus on proper intimacy BEFORE sex. And maybe I wait until I marry before I do it with anyone."

"Not to be selfish, but what about us?"

"You tell me what you need, I tell you what I can offer, and we find a solution which honors who and what we are."

"Did we just make love for the last time?" she asked quietly.

"I do NOT feel guilty or remorseful or depressed or any other negative thing about what you and I have done together. We let that damned accident define us for too long."

"And my lies to you?"

"All part of that same incident, Jos. Everything that happened from that moment until we reconciled has to be set aside."

"Or reset to before Cincinnati?"

"No. That can't happen for obvious reasons. I was WAY too immature three years ago."

"You mean to do what we did?"

"I mean to have the relationship we needed to have. You told me that, and I objected."

"And our time apart led you to do what I had hoped — grow into the man I knew you could be. I knew there was a risk I would lose you because of that; I just didn't expect it to be the way it happened. I had to take that risk, Mik, because otherwise, you would never have come out of your shell."

"I know," I sighed. "The entire situation sucks."

"Let me ask you this — do you need to be completely chaste?"

"It's something I've considered, but I also don't want to hurt you or fail to provide for your needs."

"But not at the expense of what you need, Mik. We both agree this has to end, eventually. We both know I have to move on and that I intend to. It's really a matter of picking the time and manner."

"Just tell me what you need, Jos," I said.

"Let me think about it. You have karate this afternoon, right?"

"Yes. And then church. We planned to get take-out Chinese and spend the rest of the evening at Doctor Blahnik's house."

"What time should I meet you there?"

"Call it 7:30pm to be safe."

"Mik?"

"Yes?"

"Make love to me?"

I smiled and very willingly did as she asked.

June 3, 1984, McKinley, Ohio

"I had a very interesting telephone call last night," Father Nicholas said when I joined him in the vestry on Sunday morning.

"Oh, I can imagine," I replied. "And what did Father Deacon Vasily have to say?"

"The bottom line? He asked me to invite you and Natalya Vasilyevna for what amounts to pre-marriage counseling."

"A tempered response compared to what I would have expected."

"I believe he controlled his emotions because he was speaking to a brother clergyman."

"What do you suggest we do?" I asked.

"I spoke at length with Tasha last night in confession, so I have a good idea of her view of the matter, and I've heard yours as well. I would suggest the three of us sit down together, talk it through, and then I can report back to Father Deacon Vasily."

I hadn't spoken to Tasha, so I didn't know if she'd approached Nikolas, and that might be a complication, but otherwise, I felt a couple of hours spent talking to Father Nicholas, if that's what it took was well spent to make things better for Tasha.

"I have no objection," I said.

"Are you free this afternoon?"

"I am."

"Then, if Tasha is free, we'll meet after lunch. I'll ask her when she arrives for Matins."

About four hours later, after Matins and the Divine Liturgy, I went to the parish hall, where I filled a plate for lunch and sat down at the table with Clarissa, Maggie, and Tasha.

"Lissa, will you take Maggie home in my car?" I asked. "Tasha will bring me back to town."

"Sure. Why?"

"Deacon Vasily called Father Nicholas and suggested Tasha and I needed relationship counseling."

"Of COURSE he thinks that!" Clarissa said with a knowing smile. "Sure, I can take Maggie home."

"I thought you guys decided you couldn't marry," Maggie said apprehensively.

"We did," Tasha replied. "My dad, on the other hand, does NOT agree. Don't worry at all, Marina Andreyevna! Mischa and I are not going to be a couple."

"Marina Andreyevna?" Maggie asked.

"That would be the closest Russian version of your name! There is a Saint Marina, who is also known as Saint Pelagia, and her feast day is July 20th. She is known as Saint Margaret in the West. And I asked Mischa, who said your father's name is Andrew. So you would be Marina Andreyevna."

"And Clarissa?"

"Svetlana Yakovovna," Clarissa said. "But this parish really isn't very Russian, unlike Mike's parish back home."

"Which isn't all that Russian these days," I replied. "And the Cathedral hasn't used Russian from the time it was founded. It's not a requirement for the OCA, but Tasha is VERY Russian."

"And Mischa is Russian when it suits him and not when it doesn't!"

I shrugged, "I'm an American of Russian heritage, and that heritage is important, but the key is that I'm an American. And Tasha agrees with that sentiment!"

"You two are just too funny!" Maggie said.

When we finished our lunch, I gave Clarissa the keys to my car, and after she and Maggie left, Tasha and I joined Father Nicholas in his office.