Chapter 38: Stumbling Down the Path

December 27, 1984, Rutherford and McKinley, Ohio

"Marie, this is my friend Dale Melrose. Dale, this is my friend Marie De Santis."

I could tell by the look on Dale's face he was VERY attracted to Marie, and knowing Marie, she'd be more than happy to entertain him, if that's what he wanted.

"Dale," Jocelyn said, "this is my boyfriend, Bill Ebersole. Bill, Dale."

They shook hands, and I suppressed a chuckle at the thought that Dale didn't look at Bill the same way he had at Marie. We walked into the restaurant and were greeted by Liz.

"Table for six?" she asked.

"Yes, please," I replied.

"I didn't know you worked here," Dale said to Liz.

"I started right after graduation. I'm going to Rutherford Junior College. You heard I got married earlier this month, right?"

"Mike told me. Congratulations! Where does your husband work?"

"He's the night manager at the motel across the street."

Liz led us to the large semi-circular booth, which would comfortably seat eight, which meant we had plenty of room. Despite that, Elizaveta sat very close to me, and I noticed Marie did the same with Dale, though Bill and Jocelyn kept a more typical distance between them.

"What's your major, Marie?" Dale asked.

"English Lit, with a Secondary Education certification. I'm student teaching next semester."

"Is that a five-year program?" he asked.

"Yes, but I'm finishing in four because I went to Summer school my first two Summers at Taft."

"Where do you want to teach?"

Marie laughed, "My old High School in Mason. It'll totally be worth it to see the looks on the faces of some of my teachers who thought I was a 'party girl'!"

"You ARE a party girl!" I chuckled.

"True! But they meant that I'd accomplish nothing in my life."

"Dale seems to have done OK for a 'goody-two-shoes' who turned into a 'party boy'," Jocelyn teased.

"Hey, at least I know how to do college the RIGHT way!" he protested.

Marie laughed, "I told Mike a bunch of times he wasn't doing college right!"

"Me, too!" Dale agreed.

"Why do you think you have to behave badly to go to college?" Elizaveta asked.

"Because college is the last time you can really just do whatever you want," Marie said. "I mean, so long as you go to class and keep your grades up. Once you graduate, there will be work and bills and family considerations. So you should have your fun, then be ready to settle down once you graduate."

"That just makes no sense to me!" Elizaveta protested.

"Me either," Jocelyn said. "But it is a pretty common attitude. I saw lots of kids like that at Purdue. Most of them get it out of their system by the end of their Freshman year. Dale did, at UW-Madison."

"I'd make the same 'makes no sense' argument about being engaged at fifteen," Marie said.

"Let's not start an argument, please," Bill counseled.

"It's OK," Elizaveta said confidently. "I'm absolutely sure I'm doing the right thing."

"Did you even have a boyfriend before Mike?" Marie asked.

"No. But so what? This is exactly what I want, and I see no point in waiting."

"But you haven't really experienced life!"

"Again, so? And what experience do you mean? Sex? I see no good argument for having sex with anyone except my husband. Partying? I don't see the point."

"What about college?" Marie asked.

"I don't need college to be fulfilled," Elizaveta said firmly. "I have all the training I need to be a wife and mother, and those, together with being a Deacon's wife, are more than a full-time job! And Mike will earn enough as a doctor so that I won't need to work. That is what I want. I approached Mike, not the other way around! Maybe that doesn't work for you, but it is exactly what I want!"

"And you're sure, at fifteen, that you know?"

"Mike knew he wanted to be a doctor at ten," Jocelyn said. "And I knew I wanted to be a lawyer from around age thirteen."

"But those aren't permanent," Marie protested.

"On the contrary," I interjected. "To be a doctor, you basically commit to an additional twelve years of education following High School, and then that's what you are. Could you change? I suppose, but given the cost in time and effort, and the stress and other things you give up, it's about as close to a lifetime commitment as anything I can think of short of marriage or being ordained."

"And you're doing all three!" Dale declared. "I think it's nuts, but they both have a point about the commitment they're making. And so does Jocelyn."

"You don't think fifteen is too young to decide to get married?" Marie asked.

"Hang on!" Elizaveta interrupted. "The only person who gets to decide that is ME! Why should you, or anyone else, decide when I should marry? I asked Mike, and my parents, priest, and bishop have all given their blessing! Who are YOU to say I shouldn't!"

"Careful," Jocelyn warned Marie, "she's a Russian woman..."

"That's right!" Elizaveta declared. "I am a woman! And it's my right to decide who and when I marry!"

"I think we should change topics," Bill suggested.

"I agree," Dale said.

"Are you going to be able to come home between graduation and starting work at Boeing?" I asked.

Before he could answer, the waitress came to take our orders. Once she had them, the conversation continued.

"Not really," he said. "I'll pack up all my stuff and ship it to Seattle, but I need to find a place to live, get moved in, and all the other stuff. I start work on June 18th. I will be here for the wedding, but it's going to be 'zip in, zip out'. And besides, you'll be gone, won't you?"

"That's true," I replied. "We'll be in Europe with Sandy, Jason, Clarissa, and Abby from June 8th to July 21st."

"Is that your honeymoon?" Dale asked.

"We're going to Niagara Falls for a few days after the wedding. And then we have four days in Paris at a very nice hotel courtesy of my friend Laura, and we're staying a few days at my professor's villa in Spain. Otherwise, we'll be in hostels."

"What will you do at Boeing, Dale?" Bill asked.

"Same as I have been for my Internship — working in the Program Office for the 767. I'll be assigned some specific task in that office, but as yet, I don't know what that will be. In my three internships, I've done parts logistics, maintenance standards, and aircraft delivery. What about you?"

"I'm finishing up a political science degree, and I'll start on a Master's in Foreign Relations at OSU in the Fall."

"What's your plan after that?"

"I'm not sure. I could work for the government either as an analyst or in the diplomatic corps, teach, or work for a global consulting firm as an analyst. I have two years to figure it out."

I wondered about that because I knew Jocelyn wanted to stay in the general area, and except for teaching, I suspected Bill's jobs would take him overseas or to DC or to one of the bigger cities like New York or Chicago. But Jocelyn hadn't said he was 'Mr. Right', and it was entirely possible they hadn't slept together, based on our conversation when she'd asked my opinion.

"Jos, which law schools will you apply to?" Dale asked.

"UC and Ohio State. I'll also apply to Kent State and Case Western for security. I figure four is the right number of schools to apply to so that I ensure I get in someplace."

"You plan to practice around here, right?"

"That's the plan. We'll see where life leads me."

"Mike, what is Liz studying?"

"Accounting," I replied. "She's going for an Associate's, and she'll probably find a job as a payroll or accounting clerk."

Liz brought our salads, and we began eating. The conversation moved to current events, sports, and anything except relationships. When we finished eating, we went for ice cream, and as I expected, Dale and Marie left together while Jocelyn, Bill, Elizaveta, and I got into Jocelyn's car, with Bill driving and Jocelyn in the passenger seat and headed for West Monroe.

"Did you know Marie had a concern about your plans?" Jocelyn asked.

"No," I replied. "Well, not specifically, but her response is pretty much what I hear from most people outside of church. Heck, even Clarissa questioned me about it. And that's OK because what Elizaveta and I are doing is considered crazy by societal standards. The thing is, the law contemplates what we're doing, which is why she can marry at sixteen with her parents' permission. So, it's actually NOT as crazy as people seem to think it is."

"Jocelyn said it's like an arranged marriage," Bill said.

"And I did the arranging!" Elizaveta declared, causing the rest of us to laugh.

When we arrived in West Monroe, where I'd left my car at Jocelyn's, Elizaveta and I bade 'goodbye' to Jocelyn and Bill, then got into my car for the rest of the drive back to McKinley.

"What's the plan for tomorrow?" I asked.

"My friends will be at the house at 11:30am. You can come over at 11:00am. We'll have lunch at noon, and after they leave, we'll spend the rest of the day together."

"Who all is going to be there?"

"Oksana, Britney, Johanna, Serafima, and Viktoriya. All of them except Britney are bringing their boyfriends. She doesn't have one right now."

"And Johanna's is on a leash?" I asked.

Elizaveta laughed, "You mean because I told you she controls boys with kisses?"

"I suspect it's more than kisses, given she told you that sex was bad."

"I think doing it with every guy you date is a bad idea, but I think your friend Marie disagrees. And I think you disagreed before we began seeing each other."

"It wasn't like that," I replied defensively.

"Wasn't it? I believe you've slept with at least four girls."

"Is this a conversation you really want to have?" I asked.

"I don't know," Elizaveta replied. "It's just ... no, please forget I said anything."

"If it bothers you, then we do need to talk about it."

Elizaveta shook her head, "No, at least not now."

"We can't put off a conversation like that," I replied.

"No," she sighed. "I guess we can't. But not tonight."

"OK," I replied with trepidation.

We rode the rest of the way to Elizaveta's house with just the music playing from the radio and the hum of the tires on the road. When we arrived, I walked her to the door, we exchanged a hug and a soft kiss, and I got back into my car to head to Doctor Blahnik's house. When I arrived, I checked my watch and decided to take a chance despite it being a bit late, and called Clarissa's house.

"Hi, Lissa," I said when she came to the phone.

"You don't sound right, Petrovich. What's wrong?"

"You know I set Marie up with Dale, right?"

"Sure. What could possibly have gone wrong with two people who agree on how to 'do college right'?"

"She questioned my relationship with Elizaveta, but that wasn't the specific problem; it was the attitude towards pre-marital sex, or perhaps 'casual sex', that was the concern. On the way home, Elizaveta made a comment about me agreeing with Marie and then accused me, for want of a better word, of having slept with at least four girls."

"More like five times that," Clarissa replied.

"You're not helping, Lissa," I sighed.

"What else did she say?"

"Nothing, and that's what concerns me. She started to, then decided not to, and when I asked, she said, 'Not now'."

"And you're worried that this will bother her if you don't talk about it, but you're frightened that if you do talk about it, it might end in disaster."

"It could end in disaster either way," I sighed. "I told her I wasn't a virgin to try to head off what I knew would be a difficult conversation fraught with all kinds of peril."

"I don't think you have a choice now. I'm no expert on relationships, but if you leave it unresolved, it'll fester and create huge problems in the future."

"I'd say that's very likely to be the case, which means I need to have an uncomfortable conversation with her."

"One you would have needed to have with Tasha as well."

"I think once she had her confrontation with Janey, there wasn't ever going to be a problem. And you know what she said to Janey!"

"That was epic! I just wish we could have actually heard the conversation instead of having it reported! And the confrontation in the school hallway, too!"

"I was happy to be outside the blast radius, though I almost got caught in the fallout! But anyway, after that, Tasha basically knew the score and chose not to make an issue of it."

"Strategy and tactics," Clarissa replied. "She knew she wanted to marry you, and she wasn't going to let you getting a little nookie on the side beforehand stand in her way. Elizaveta is more, well, sensitive, I guess is the right word."

"That's certainly part of it, but I think it also has to do with how Elizaveta viewed me beforehand — a crush, I guess."

"Tasha had a crush!"

"Tasha wanted to screw!" I declared mirthfully. "That was lust, plain and simple. Marriage was secondary to passionate lovemaking."

"But she did plan to marry you, right?"

"Yes, until we concluded that we couldn't align our lives properly. I also think once I was being considered for the diaconate, her experience with living with a deacon of the Church gave her serious pause."

"You did manage to align your bodies properly!" Clarissa teased.

"Yes, which is precisely the problem. Well, not just Tasha, but the other girls."

"I don't know what to tell you other than to talk to Elizaveta, admit your failings, and listen to what she says. You really can't do anything else. If she can't deal with it, well..."

"I know," I sighed. "You wouldn't consider coming back to McKinley early, would you?"

"I'll come back tomorrow, if Doctor Blahnik is OK with me using the guest room."

"I'm sure she will be, but let me double-check."

I put the phone down and went to find Doctor Blahnik, and she agreed. I went back to the phone, let Clarissa know it was OK and that I'd see her in the evening when I came back from Elizaveta's house.

"Are you going to talk to her tomorrow, then?"

"I'll offer, but it's up to her. I can't insist, but I also can't let it drag out."

"No, you can't. See you tomorrow, Petrovich."

"See you tomorrow, Lissa. And thanks."

We said 'goodbye' and hung up, and then I went to say 'good night' to Doctor Blahnik. I went upstairs, drew a very warm bath, undressed, and got into the tub. I realized as I settled in that I'd forgotten to lock the door, but as I thought about it, I knew Doctor Blahnik wouldn't violate my privacy nor ask me to violate my word. And then, of course, with the way my mind worked, I thought about what that 'glass of wine' would be like. It took a supreme effort to push those thoughts away, and when I felt completely relaxed, I got out of the tub, opened the drain, dried off, then got into bed. I mulled over the situation with Elizaveta, and it took a long time for me to fall asleep.

December 28, 1984, McKinley, Ohio

On Friday morning, I had breakfast with Doctor Blahnik, then went to the music room to read, but I couldn't concentrate on the book because I was thinking about the difficult conversation I needed to have with Elizaveta. I finally put the book down after a half hour, put on my coat, gloves, boots, and new fedora, and went for a walk. It didn't help much because I had no idea how Elizaveta was going to respond.

After about twenty minutes, I gave up and went back to the house, got out my guitar, and managed to lose myself in the music. I eventually put the guitar away, changed into casual clothes, and headed to the Kozlovs' house. I had a bit of trepidation when I walked up to the front door because I wasn't quite sure what Elizaveta's mood would be. My unease grew when it was Viktor, rather than Elizaveta, who opened the door to greet me.

"Hi, Mike!" he said. "Come on in. Elizaveta is still in her room; I'm not sure what's keeping her."

I had a pretty good idea, and I wondered if she'd hide out in her room until her friends arrived. I'd thought she was more mature than that, but I also realized that the conversation we needed to have couldn't happen until after her friends had left and we could have some privacy.

"How were things at home?" he asked as we walked into his study.

"Fine," I replied. "It was good to see my friend Dale. I'll see him at the wedding, but then he's off to Seattle for a job with Boeing."

"Aerospace engineering?"

"Business. He'll be working in the 767 Program Office, where he's interned the past three Summers."

"I'd say he's done very well, then, and has a great start to a very lucrative career. The deregulation of the airlines should continue to reduce fares and increase air travel, which ought to be a good thing for Boeing. Of course, there will be negative effects because some of the big airlines don't have sustainable business models without government protection. But I know you abhor politics, so we'll just leave it at that."

"I have FAR too many other things on my mind to worry too much about politics."

"Elizaveta told me about the run-in you had with someone related to those boys who beat up your friends. Is there a concern?"

"No. It was just someone venting their spleen," I replied. "And there was already bad blood, if you will, because of the theological debate. If there's a next one, which I'm not seeking, I suspect they'll send someone who is better prepared. A mid-twenties youth pastor whose only experience is whatever seminary he graduated from was never going to do well against someone with two thousand years' worth of resource material! And honestly, we've heard all the arguments and responded to them. All I had to do was make use of the things which the Church has provided."

"Is it true that your friends are homosexual?"

"Yes."

Viktor gave me a hard look, but then his face softened, "You realize that might cause an uproar at the party if it should come out."

"I do. They're planning a party the night before the one you and my grandfather are organizing. The last thing they want to do is cause a scandal. That said, they have been to church — they were at the betrothal ceremony, my ordination to subdeacon, as well as Pascha both of the last two years."

"Is anyone aware?"

"Father Nicholas, Tasha, and Elizaveta. Vladyka ARKADY, Mr. Sokolov, and Mr. Orlov know I have gay friends, though they don't know who they are."

"How is it that those men know?"

"A long story," I replied, "but the bottom line is that because they knew, I went to the bishop to discuss the situation. Those two guys are my best friends here; do you have a specific concern?"

"I'm not quite sure how to answer that," Viktor replied.