Chapter 37: Nativity, 1984

December 24, 1984, McKinley, Ohio

On Monday, which was Christmas Eve, I slept in, ate a light breakfast, then made some tea and went to sit in the music room to start reading Foundation. I read for about fifteen minutes before Doctor Blahnik came into the room.

"What time are you leaving?" she asked.

"About 11:00am."

"And you'll be back tonight?"

"Around 9:30pm, most likely. We'll go to Vespers, then have a light meal."

"Will you join Milena, Joel, Derek, and me to decorate the tree? I know you can't join us for dinner."

"I'd love to. I wondered why the tree was bare!"

"Traditionally in Czechoslovakia, it's decorated on Christmas Eve. Would you be able to bring Elizaveta with you?"

"I think so. I'll speak with Viktor about bringing her home afterwards. It technically violates her curfew, but given we'll be here, I'm sure he'll give his blessing."

"Wonderful. Is there anything I can do for you? Any help you need?"

"You've already done so much for me; I can't imagine what that might be!"

Doctor Blahnik smiled, "We did miss the chance to have that glass of wine together because you went and got yourself engaged much sooner than expected!"

"There was also the whole problem of me being a student."

"A problem which would no longer exist after May! But that is all out of the question now, given your strict understanding of fidelity."

"I don't think my understanding matters at this point," I replied with a silly smile. "What matters is Elizaveta's understanding!"

Doctor Blahnik laughed, "Self-preservation is VERY motivating!"

"Especially when we're talking about a Russian woman! But I also want to be a man of my word."

"As you should. I'll leave you to your book, then."

"Thanks."

I read for about an hour before Milena and Joel arrived, then spent time with them before heading to Elizaveta's house. As usual, she greeted me with a tight hug and a relatively chase kiss as we were under the watchful eye of my soon-to-be grandmother-in-law, Yekaterina. That didn't stop the thoughts which the feel of Elizaveta's young, firm body against mine caused, but it certainly ensured that we didn't act on those feelings.

"Lunch will be ready soon," Elizaveta said as she led me to the living room where her brothers were sitting. "This is my brother, Iosif. Iosif, this is Mike."

I shook hands with her very good-looking, dark-haired, deeply tanned brother. I could only imagine the rampage he was on was something akin to the one Dale had engaged in during his first semester. Iosif, on the other hand, was a Sophomore and still appeared to be 'doing college right', as Dale had put it. He had a firm, strong grip when we shook hands.

"Nice to meet you," I said. "How is California?"

"Sunny, blonde, and very warm!" he grinned.

I chuckled as Elizaveta and I sat down on the loveseat.

"I hear you've been suckered into the black-robe gang," he said.

"Joe!" Elizaveta protested.

"It's OK, «Котёнок» (katyonak)," I soothed. "First of all, we Orthodox know that good guys wear black! Second, I wasn't suckered into anything. I fully understand what I'm doing and what's required of me because I agreed to accept ordination of my own free will." ("Kitten")

"I don't get why anyone would sign up for that."

"Joe, mind your own business!" Elizaveta said sharply.

"Kitty has claws!" Joe teased.

"Joe, enough," Gennady said. "We know you've abandoned the Church, but there's no need to denigrate our faith."

"Fantasies and fairy tales," Iosif said, shaking his head. "All used to control people. They pull the string, and you move; they play the tune, and you dance."

Elizaveta was about to respond, but I put my hand on her forearm.

"That's entirely possible," I replied.

"What?!" Elizaveta gasped in horror.

"Faith, little sister," Gennady replied with a smile. "Mike has FAITH that it's true. In the face of the possibility that it is not, he still believes."

"But..." she protested.

"Do you remember the story of Thomas, don't you, «Котёнок» (katyonak)?" I asked softly. ("Kitten")

"Yes, of course. You have doubts?"

"At times, yes. But I persevere."

"Which is the entire point," Gennady said. "Don't ask for additional challenges, Liza; life brings too many of them as it is. And the world provides plenty of opportunity to fall without inviting doubt into your mind."

"Lunch is ready!" Mrs. Kozlova announced from the doorway to the living room.

We went to the dining room and had a fasting-compatible lunch of homemade vegetarian vegetable soup. When we finished eating, I spoke with Viktor about taking Elizaveta to Doctor Blahnik's house and received his blessing. That accomplished, Elizaveta and I donned our Winter gear and went out for a walk in the light snow that was falling, guaranteeing a 'white Christmas'.

"Why didn't you tell me about doubting?" Elizaveta asked as we walked down the driveway.

"Because it's more about doubting myself than anything."

"About?"

"My worthiness to be a deacon."

"But what matters there is that others see you as worthy, right?"

"That is basically what Father Nicholas and the bishop have said, but it doesn't make it any easier."

"And I'll be by your side the entire way, Mike. It's a shared ministry. I believe you can do it, and I'll be there with you."

I squeezed her hand, "I know. And I'll need your support just as much for my secular calling as well. Both are going to put a severe strain on us individually and on our relationship. It's going to be difficult."

"That is what Maria told me, as did Matushka Anastasia; but I want this, Mike. I want to be with you, and be your wife."

"And I want you to be my wife."

"We're out of sight of the house," Elizaveta said impishly, "could I have a kiss like a wife?"

"In about five months, I'll kiss you EVERYWHERE!" I teased.

"Don't be mean!" Elizaveta protested.

I took her in my arms, and we exchanged a soft, loving, deeply sexy French kiss. She moaned softly and pressed against me, though our heavy Winter coats prevented us from close contact. We held the kiss and hug for a minute, then resumed walking hand-in-hand.

"The snow is beautiful," Elizaveta said. "I really like how peaceful and quiet it is."

"Me, too," I replied.

"Do you have any specific things you want in the house? I mean both decor and anything else."

"Not really, so long as there is a quiet place to study."

"The second, smaller room, at least until we have children. And that's at least two years before we start trying, right? After LOTS of practice!"

I chuckled, "Yes, once you graduate from High School. The babies, I mean, not the practice."

"I'm going to change the curtains, the cover on the couch, and do some painting. Most of the things we need for the house will come from our wedding gifts — my grandmothers are coördinating with the ladies from the church."

"When do they plan to send out invitations?"

"In February. That gives everyone three months to make plans if they need to. Besides your grandparents coming from Chicago and your godparents coming from New York, does anyone have to travel?"

"Dale," I replied. "His exams are the following week, so he's flying down on Friday and has to fly back on Sunday."

"Won't that affect his grades?"

"He already has a job lined up with Boeing in Seattle, so unless he fails to graduate, it's not all that important. For me, if I were to blow my grades, I could lose my place in medical school."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. Everything is 'pending graduation and final transcripts'. But I don't foresee any difficulties of any kind. And you know how much I study. That won't change. You and I will still have our Friday dates, and I'll have lunch at the house on Saturdays, and we'll spend Sundays with Tasha and Nik."

"How much are you going to study with your friends once you start medical school?"

"A lot, obviously, but I'm not sure what that means in terms of actual hours just yet. We'll figure it out once we figure out the optimal study group size."

"You should come home for dinner every day."

"I agree with you on that. Let's wait until August to worry about things in that level of detail, please. But I will include you in any decisions."

Elizaveta squeezed my hand, and we continued walking in silence, returning to the house about twenty minutes after we'd left. After we'd taken off our Winter gear, Viktor asked me to join him in his study. He had his wife bring us hot chocolate, then shut the door.

"I heard from my attorney," he said. "It turns out, that in Ohio, you only need permission from me and Yulia."

"Then what happened with Sasha Antanova? I mean, if you know."

"I do. My attorney spoke to Deacon Vasily's attorney. That was about Yaroslav adopting Viktoriya Alexandra. It only became about the marriage because Family Services filed an objection, which they could do because the case was before a judge. But, so long as you and Elizaveta simply proceed with our permission, which we give by signing the marriage license application and having it notarized, Family Services can't normally intervene."

"Normally?"

"I don't know the details; that's just what the attorney said. His opinion is that there are no impediments, and the legislation is clear."

"That's good news!"

"We'll apply for the marriage license the first week in May."

"Good."

"Also, Gennady said that Iosif was being irreverent. I apologize for that."

"There's no need," I replied. "He spoke his mind, and I wasn't offended. My Uncle Aleksey often says things like that, and it doesn't bother me, either. My grandfather, on the other hand..."

"I think your upcoming ordination will ameliorate some of those hard feelings towards your uncle."

"It will make my grandfather happy and give him peace, but it won't solve the problem between them. But that's a minor issue, really; Uncle Aleksey will be at the wedding along with his family."

"Do you get along with your cousins?"

"I don't really see them all that often — just at family gatherings. Once my uncle and his family moved away, they didn't come around all that often because so much revolved around church. I think it's the same with Iosif, right?"

Viktor nodded, "Sadly. I've given up asking him to join us for Vespers and Liturgy when he's home, as it only leads to more hard feelings."

"I think my grandfather and uncle have proved that to be the case as well. I talked to my mom about it when I was younger, and she couldn't point to anything that caused the problem. It was just Uncle Aleksey deciding to go a different path. And you know my sister has done the same thing."

"But she'll at least come to church if you ask."

"True. Will Iosif not come to the wedding?" I asked.

"Classes don't end for them until the first week in June. The same is true for Gennady, but he's going to fly home. He's made arrangements with his advisor. Of course, it's a two-hour flight for him from Boston, while it's more than four hours from Los Angeles for Iosif, plus the time change. I've encouraged him to come back, but I don't think he will."

"Is that going to be a problem for Elizaveta?" I asked.

"No. She never expected him to come home. We weren't even sure he was going to come home for Christmas. I don't have all the details, but I believe he was planning on going home with a girl, but they broke up a few weeks ago."

"I thought he was playing the field," I replied.

"Oh, he is. I didn't say she was his ONLY girlfriend!" Viktor said, shaking his head.

"What's his major?" I asked.

"Formally undeclared, though it will be some kind of engineering. He has to decide next semester."

"He's a Sophomore now, right?"

"Yes."

"Maybe that will help him buckle down."

Viktor sighed, "I wouldn't count on it."

"Gennady is coming to work for you when he graduates; what's he going to do?"

"Start at the bottom and work his way up!" Viktor laughed. "He'll actually work in several of the businesses to get a good feeling for how they operate."

"When do you plan to retire?"

"About ten years, I think. But it'll mostly be reducing what I do and giving more responsibility to Gennady. At one point, I assumed my son-in-law might be involved in some way, but obviously, that's not going to be the case. And, to answer the question I suspect is forming in your mind, Iosif never expressed any interest in being involved."

"As my sister Liz has said to me many times, we have to live our lives the way we think best, even if it doesn't make sense to other people."

"I suspect Iosif agrees with her. Anyway, I'll let you return to Elizaveta now."

I left his study and found Elizaveta in the living room with her brothers. We spent the afternoon talking, and everyone except Iosif went to Vespers. After Vespers, we had our last fasting meal of the Nativity season, and then Elizaveta and I went to Doctor Blahnik's house to participate in the Czechoslovakian tradition of decorating the tree on Christmas Eve.

"We're cheating a bit," Doctor Blahnik said. "The strings of candy are store-bought rather than homemade. My mother used to do everything from scratch — make the sweets, wrap them, string them, and so on. It's a huge amount of work!"

"That sounds similar to Jocelyn's family tradition — strings of popcorn and candy canes."

"The lights go on first," Doctor Blahnik said. "Derek, if you and Mike would do that, Joel can tie the strings on the apple stems."

"Apples?" I asked.

"In place of large globe ornaments," Milena said. "Another Czech tradition. Do you follow American traditions?"

"Yes," I replied. "Tasha's family does a very Russian Christmas, but ours was pretty much typically American. The only thing my grandparents really passed on was the language. Elizaveta's family is similar to ours."

"Elizaveta, do you speak Russian at home?" Joel asked.

"When we were little, my grandparents spoke Russian to us, but that was about it. My Russian is about as good as Mike's."

"Will you teach your kids Russian?"

"We haven't talked about it in any detail," Elizaveta replied, "but I doubt it. Mike and I are both basically Americans and prefer that, albeit with an Orthodox take. Tasha and Nik, on the other hand, will have a very Russian household, in addition to being Orthodox."

"Even Tasha won't take it as far as her dad did," I added. "When we were discussing a possible way forward, Tasha and I had talked about teaching our kids Russian, but beyond that, it was mostly about keeping certain Russian traditions she valued. But with few exceptions, neither Elizaveta's parents nor mine tried to hang onto the Old Country ways."

"That sounds like Mom," Milena said. "A few traditions, like Christmas and Easter, but otherwise, mostly we're American."

Milena put on a CD with Christmas music, and we set about decorating the tree. It took nearly an hour, and when we finished, I drove Elizaveta home and then returned to Doctor Blahnik's house. I found Milena waiting for me in the living room. She invited me to have some tea, so I sat down with her.

"Where's Joel?" I asked.

"In the guest room," she replied.

"I feel bad about sleeping upstairs."

"We're guests!" she replied. "Besides, the bed in the guest room is just fine, and the bathroom is the same as mine. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Are you absolutely positive you're doing the right thing?"

"You're talking about Elizaveta?"

"Yes."

"You're worried because you married your soulmate, and I'm going into what amounts to an arranged marriage? You know I can't marry my soulmate and why. And you know why I'm marrying in May."

"All of which is logical, but is it the right thing for you to do?"

I had a thought, which was probably silly, but I decided to voice it.

"If you tell me your mom put you up to this..." I grinned.

Milena laughed, "No, but we talked. And while that might be a disappointment, she's not foolish enough to think interfering in your plans is a smart thing to do. We both have the same concern about what amounts to rushing into something. That's especially true given Elizaveta's age."

"You're the LAST person I would suspect who would raise the age issue," I countered.

Milena laughed softly, "I wasn't talking about fucking; I was talking about marriage! Two very different things."

"And I wasn't talking about sex, either. You think she's too young to marry?"

"I think only she can make that decision, but I'd certainly counsel caution. And that's all I'm asking — are you sure she's the one you want to spend your life with, and are you sure you need to decide now?"

"You know my take on betrothal, so it's a bit late to ask those questions. And they were asked by me and others. I could have told the bishop, 'Not yet'."

Milena smiled and shook her head, "No, you couldn't have. Not because anyone is compelling you but because it's what your faith tells you to do. That's not a bad thing, so long as it's tempered with some common sense."

"And you think I'm not acting with common sense?"

"I've never known you to not think things through, though you often overthink them."

I smiled, "You and Deb?"

Milena smiled, "I may have changed my opinion about your approach to that, given the eventual outcome. But remember, even logic needs to give way to doing what's best for you. You're a romantic at heart, just as I am. But you also have to acknowledge reality at times."

"And yet, you and Joel got back together."

"That was reality!"

I shook my head, "No. That was your romantic nature overcoming your reality. If you recall, I had to push you to ignore what had happened and try to recover what you had."

"And weirdly, only you could have helped me do that because of your unique personality."

"What are you trying to say?" I asked.

"I guess I'm not sure. If you were any other guy, I'd say that there is an endless supply of sixteen-year-old nookie available for smart, good-looking, well-hung medical students. But I'm positive you aren't getting married because it's the only way to get laid."

"I'm getting married because it's what I want to do, what I need to do, and what I'm required to do. And Elizaveta has all the qualities I believe are important to be a good wife."