Chapter 24: Betrothal

September 29, 1984, McKinley, Ohio

At the close of Vespers, Father Nicholas, I, and two acolytes left the altar. Father Nicholas completed the prayers, which served as the Dismissal, then turned to the congregation.

"One announcement," he said. "Tomorrow, immediately following the Divine Liturgy, we'll have a betrothal ceremony for Subdeacon Michael and Elizaveta Kozlova."

There were a few gasps, but otherwise, no real reaction because we were in the nave, where applause or chatter was completely inappropriate.

"They intend to marry on May 26th, and, God willing, His Grace, Vladyka ARKADY, will ordain Subdeacon Michael to the diaconate on July 28th."

"Axios!" several people called out, using the traditional Greek version of 'He is worthy', something which was actually necessary for ordination. The bishop would ask for the congregation to publicly approve the ordination before it was performed, and that would be their response, assuming they agreed.

Father Nicholas signaled for the congregation to come forward to kiss the cross, which they did. I, as was the norm for subdeacons, went last, after the acolytes, and then followed Father into the altar and then into the vestry to remove our liturgical garments.

"I assume there will be some kind of special treats at lunch tomorrow?" he asked.

"I know Elizaveta's grandmothers were preparing something, but I'm not sure what. I told them yesterday that I was leaving all the planning in their hands."

Father Nicholas laughed, "You do have a keen sense of self-preservation!"

"I suggested to Elizaveta that we allow them to just do their thing to ensure we're on good terms with them."

"What about pre-marital counseling?"

"I want to follow a dual track," I said. "The usual Orthodox one where we meet with you, and we also spend time with the Sokolovs, as well as with the psychologist I've been seeing."

"The one who's helping Angie, right?"

"Yes, but me, too."

"I have no objections to that. She's aware of Elizaveta's age?"

"Yes, and she gave me a bit of grief about that."

"I'm not surprised. So you prevailed on her?"

I shook my head, "No. She objects. I actually chose her because she'll be keenly aware of the kinds of difficulties we'll run into."

"Taking the bull by the horns, so to speak?"

"How many chances do I have to get it right?" I asked.

"Exactly one."

"Which is why we need someone who's going to be very direct with us and challenge us."

Father Nicholas nodded, "That's very wise. Let's begin meeting before Vespers. We'll need about thirty minutes each week."

"We'll be here."

I received his blessing, then left the altar. I walked out of the nave to the narthex where Elizaveta was surrounded by the High School and college girls, with other women forming another circle around them. I was greeted and congratulated by a number of men and boys, then waited for the gaggle of women to break up. While I was waiting, Tasha stepped away, so I walked over to her. We moved out of earshot of the rest of the congregation, but to a place where we were still visible.

"Would you and Nik be willing to have dinner together on Sundays?" I asked.

"Yes, of course!"

"Good. We can alternate between your apartment and Doctor Blahnik's house if that's OK."

"We can just be at the apartment. The girls and I are already having lunch on Saturdays, so Sundays are free. I assume we'll start next week?"

"Yes. When are you announcing your engagement?"

"When he asks! It won't be too long."

"Which way will you go?"

Tasha laughed, "Western, believe it or not. He wants to buy an engagement ring, and so on. He's more conservative than you are but not as traditional."

"Just so you know, I confessed to Elizaveta that I wasn't a virgin, and I'm pretty sure she suspects it was you."

"I told Nik I wasn't a virgin, and he was pretty upset, but he calmed down. I'm sure he suspects it was you."

"Maybe these dinners aren't such a hot idea," I said.

"It's fine," Tasha said firmly. "I think it's actually better if they both assume you and I were together, given our history. It protects you, and that's important. You know my dad assumed we were, and my mom knew we were, so that fits the assumptions as well."

I nodded, and we moved back to the throng, which was finally dispersing enough to allow me to move next to Elizaveta, who was beaming.

"You look happy, «Котёнок» (katyonak)," I whispered in her ear. ("Kitten")

She nodded her head rapidly.

"We should speak to Mr. and Mrs. Sokolov," she said.

I nodded, and we disengaged from the well-wishers and found the Sokolovs. Elizaveta asked Mrs. Sokolov if we could speak privately, and the four of us moved into the Parish office. Elizaveta made her request, to which they immediately agreed. After congratulations and an invitation to dinner the following evening, which we accepted, Elizaveta and I found Lara and walked out to my car. I removed my cassock, exchanged a hug and chaste kiss with Elizaveta, then walked her to where her parents were waiting. After handshakes and hugs, I walked back to my Mustang so Lara and I could head back to campus.

September 30, 1984, McKinley, Ohio

"Mike Loucks in a suit?" Jocelyn teased. "What's next? 'Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together ... mass hysteria!'?"

I was tying my tie on Sunday morning, just before it was time to leave for church.

I chuckled, "It does happen."

"You wore a sports coat for your interviews, right?"

"Yes. Wearing a dress shirt and tie was considered the base standard, and I really didn't feel like wearing a suit while being interrogated!"

"You did say it was like you imagined a KGB or Stasi interrogation would be!"

"Actually, that was the background verification part. The interviews were actually fun and interesting. You have something similar, right?"

"Just a background check by the Bar — they pull your transcripts, test scores, and your 'rap sheet'. There is also a form to sign that says you told the truth on your application. Oh, and your credit report, not that I have one."

"They did that for me, and I actually have one because of the secured credit card I have.

Jocelyn laughed, "Mr. and Mrs. Mike Loucks?"

"That one, yes," I chuckled.

"Is that how you checked in to the hotel?" Clarissa asked.

"Yes!" Jocelyn exclaimed. "And it was Mike's mom's idea!"

"Things kind of went downhill from there with his parents," Lara observed. "Think they'll show?"

I shrugged, "I have no idea, and right now, I can't let it bother me. I need to focus on Elizaveta. Liz will be at church, as will my maternal grandparents."

"The others are in Chicago, right?"

"Naperville, which is outside of Chicago," I replied. "I'm ready."

"Funeral march or wedding march?" Jocelyn teased.

"Oh, shut up," I replied dryly.

"We'll see you at church," she said.

"OK. Are you waiting until noon, or will you be there for the Liturgy?"

"Bill and I will be there just before the Liturgy starts. Clarissa and Abby are riding with us."

"Sounds good."

I got hugs and chaste kisses from Clarissa and Jocelyn, and then Lara and I left the dorm to head to church. We were early, as I had my regular duties to perform despite the day being special. As I helped Father prepare for Matins and Liturgy, I kept an eye out for my family. My grandparents were the first to arrive, about fifteen minutes before Matins. Liz and Paul arrived five minutes later with Emmy and a guy I didn't recognize with them but who I assumed was her boyfriend, Ken.

A number of others from Holy Transfiguration arrived just as Matins was starting, including the Zhuravlyovs and the Nikatopolises. A number of my friends arrived a few minutes later, including Sophia, Robby, Lee, José, Dona, Pete, Sandy, Jason, and Fran. The real surprise was when, about halfway through, Matins, Milena, and Joel arrived with Doctor Blahnik and Derek. Clarissa, Abby, Jocelyn, and Bill arrived just as the Divine Liturgy was starting, as they'd suggested they would.

When I went out to sing the first 'Little Litany', I suppressed a sigh as my parents weren't in the nave. I had hoped they would find it within themselves to attend, but it appeared they couldn't get past the fact that Liz and Paul were in the church. I sang the Litany in front of the icon of the Theotokos, then when it was finished, I moved in front of the icon of Christ to sing the second one.

The rest of the service proceeded as normal, and after the 'Dismissal prayers', I received Father's blessing to remove my vestments and cassock, which I did. I put on my suit coat, then went to stand next to Elizaveta in the narthex to wait for the betrothal ceremony to begin. My grandfather moved next to me.

"Mischa, where are your parents?" he asked quietly.

"It appears that they chose not to attend," I replied.

"Why would they do that?" he asked.

"Because Liz and Paul are here," I replied.

My grandfather swore under his breath in Russian and moved back to stand next to my grandmother. I was surprised that he would swear in the church, but then again, I knew just how upset he was and knew my mom would be on the receiving end of a serious dressing down.

"Brethren and honored guests," Father Nicholas said. "Welcome. For those of you who are not Orthodox, or for our Orthodox brethren who have never seen a fully traditional betrothal separate from a wedding, please let me explain a bit about the ceremony. First, you'll notice that Subdeacon Michael and Elizaveta are standing in the narthex. That is traditional, and this ceremony will be performed at the doors to the nave, where everyone except the couple and their sponsors is now standing.

"This ceremony is the first part of the full marriage rite and involves an exchange of rings. You should consider this the equivalent of an engagement, though both will wear rings according to Orthodox tradition. It's also normal for Russian Orthodox to wear their rings on their right hands, so you'll see the rings placed on their right hands during the ceremony. Afterwards, they'll move them to their left hands to conform to the American social norms. We wouldn't want anyone to think they weren't promised to each other!"

There was soft laughter, and Father Nicholas went through the Royal Doors to retrieve the rings from the altar table and brought them to the doors between the nave and the narthex.

"Mike, are we waiting on your parents?" he asked quietly.

I shook my head, and he frowned. One of the acolytes brought the censer, and after Father Nicholas handed the other acolyte the rings to hold, he made the sign of the cross three times over our heads, then censed us. He handed the censer back to the acolyte and began the Great Litany, which normally would have been done by a deacon.

When the Great Litany was completed, Father Nicholas began to sing the prayer of betrothal.

The choir responded with "Amen," and Father Nicholas continued.

"Peace be to all!" he sang, with the choir responding, "And to Thy Spirit."

"Bow your heads unto the Lord," he continued, with the choir responding, "To Thee, O Lord!"

Father Nicholas continued praying.

The choir responded with "Amen," and then he took Elizaveta's silver ring, held it over my head, and prayed three times:

"The servant of God, Mikhail Petrovich, is betrothed to the handmaiden of God, Elizaveta Viktorovna, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen."

He then placed the ring on my right ring finger, retrieved the gold ring from the acolyte, held it over Elizaveta's head, and prayed three times:

"The handmaiden of God, Elizaveta Viktorovna, is betrothed to the servant of God, Mikhail Petrovich, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen."

I was wearing Elizaveta's ring, and she mine, and Father stepped back so that Mr. and Mrs. Sokolov could stand before us. They each removed our rings and transferred them to the other three times, such that in the end, I had on the gold ring and Elizaveta the silver ring, and then they moved to stand behind us once more. Father Nicholas then said the final prayer:

The choir responded with "Amen," and Father Nicholas prayed the prayers of Dismissal.

The choir and congregation sang Many Years, and then Mr. and Mrs. Sokolov each put a diamond earring in Elizaveta's newly pierced ears. Once that was completed, everyone moved to the church hall for lunch, though Father Nicholas had to remove his vestments first. There was a special table set for Father Nicholas, Elizaveta, the Sokolovs, and me, so Elizaveta and I took our places to the right of Father Nicholas' seat while the Sokolovs sat to the left. Father blessed the food, and then we were served by others in the congregation.

"What happened with your parents?" Father Nicholas asked quietly.

"They're upset with Liz because of her fiancé and with me for not agreeing with them and cutting Liz out of my life."

He shook his head, "That's terrible! We'll speak later."

"Yes, Father. I believe my grandfather is going to have words with them."

"I'd be shocked if he didn't. Let's celebrate now!"

"Yes, Father!"

As we ate or tried to, there was a continual procession of well-wishers, including my friends.

"Well, THAT was out of left field," Robby said, shaking my hand.

"I see Clarissa got you here without giving away the secret."

"With all due respect, you're certifiable!"

"And in other news," I grinned, "water is wet!"

"I guess we'll have to stay past the end of the semester," Lee said.

"You have until Sunday at 6:00pm to be out of the dorms, so it'll probably work out OK. If there are problems, we'll sort something out."

"Congrats again, and we'll let others harass you!"

I chuckled and they moved off, and others came by as we continued to eat. When we finished eating, there was cake and ice cream, and after that, all six grandparents took pictures.

"I'll pick you up at 5:30pm for dinner," I said to Elizaveta. "Mrs. Sokolov said we should dress casually."

"Good! I love this dress, but I don't want to mess it up! I have to wear it again in May!"

"Did you want your kiss?" I asked with a grin.

"Perhaps when you pick me up," she said demurely. "I want a really good one!"

I nodded, we hugged and exchanged a chaste kiss, and then I walked her to her parents' car. Once she was in the car, I walked back to the doors to the church where my grandparents, Liz, and Paul were waiting with Lara.

"You look sharp, Mikey!" Liz said, and we exchanged a brotherly hug.

"Thanks, Liz. You look nice, too, but a dress?"

"You're in a suit!"

"True! Hi, Paul!"

We shook hands.

"Congratulations, Mike, and thanks for inviting us."