Chapter 16: Family Values

August 4, 1984, Rutherford, Ohio

"Hi!" Liz exclaimed when Lara and I walked into the restaurant in Rutherford on Saturday morning.

"Hi!" I replied, hugging her.

Paul and I shook hands with a nod, I hugged Emmy, and then the five of us sat in a round corner booth.

"Liz said you did really well on your test," Paul said.

I nodded, "I'll get into the school I want, which is all that really mattered to me. Well, I have to have an interview, but I don't foresee any problems there. Clarissa did just as well."

"You beat her by a point!" Liz declared. "Something you couldn't do with Jocelyn even after she had mono!"

I chuckled, "Don't remind me!"

"How do they pick the valedictorian at Taft?" she asked.

"A committee selects the valedictorian and salutatorian from anyone who graduates summa cum laude. Fortunately, a certain dean is no longer at the university. She was on that committee, so I'm sure you can imagine my chances if she were there."

The waitress came and filled our coffee cups and took our orders.

"What happened?" Lara asked when the waitress left.

"You missed the entire 'Dean Parker Saga'," I replied. "Basically a radical feminist dean who felt gender trumped grades. And anything else, for that matter. She was my absolute nemesis until she overstepped and had to resign."

"Why?"

"It's immaterial now. She's gone. If you want the whole sordid story, Melody is your best bet because she's been involved in Student Government from her first day on campus."

"The future ACLU lawyer, right?" Liz asked.

"Yes. And according to her, first female Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court. She wanted to be the first female justice, but Reagan appointed Sandra Day O'Connor, and that ended that part of the dream!"

"Did you talk with Mom?"

"Yes, but no change, really. Grandpa called me at work on Thursday and asked me to come to lunch and bring Lara."

"Why?"

I shrugged, "Who knows? Maybe Mom called him. Or, perhaps, she said something to Father Herman, and he called my grandfather. Or, as a longer shot, maybe Lara's grandfather called him."

"Mine?!" Lara asked in surprise. "Why?"

I laughed, "Is that a serious question?"

"Never mind! Duh!"

"Exactly. There are all sorts of forces at work here, each with its own agenda. And, before you ask, no, it doesn't bother me. I'll make my own decisions, and they can deal with it! How are things here, Liz?"

"No different from Wednesday when we talked," Liz answered. "Well, except Emmy had a date last night."

"A fireman," Emmy said. "It was our first date. I met him at Lou's earlier in the week, and he asked me out."

"Cool. When do you guys start school?"

"The day after Labor Day. You guys start a week earlier, and I guess Mindy has to be there for orientation even before that."

"The 23rd," I replied. "José is going to come back early so we can do a concert with Milena the next evening."

"That's where I first spotted Mike," Lara said. "He was singing with Milena. But Kimiko got to him first!"

The waitress brought our food, and we began eating. Paul, Liz, and Emmy all described their jobs, and Lara talked about how she had been promoted two grade levels and what it was like to be two years younger than her classmates. When we finished breakfast, Lara and I had several hours before we needed to be at my grandfather's house, so we accepted an invitation to hang out at the apartment with Liz and Emmy, while Paul went home to get some sleep.

We had a nice time hanging out with Liz and Emmy and left the apartment with enough time to fill my Mustang with gas and then drive to my grandfather's house.

"Hello, «Дедушка» (dedushka)! This is Larisa Sergeyevna Federova." ("Grandpa")

"«Привет, Михаил Иванович» (Privet, Mikhail Ivanovich)!" Lara said. ("Hello, Mikhail Ivanovich")

My grandfather laughed, "We'll have pity on Mischa and speak English. Come in!"

We followed him into the house, and he offered tea, which we accepted and my grandmother brought. I wasn't surprised when she sat down, which telegraphed the purpose of this lunch.

"Mischa, tell us what happened between you and your parents, please."

I nodded, "They don't approve of the man Liz is dating, and while I don't approve of her choice, there is little I, or anyone else, can do to change her mind. In fact, I suspect any attempts to change her mind will only harden her resolve. I told Mom and Dad that I was going to love and support Liz, no matter what, even if I didn't approve of her choices."

"This man has some kind of criminal record?"

"He does. He works the night shift at the motel which Yuri Valentinovich owns."

My grandfather's eyebrow raised, "If you call him by that name, then I suspect you had something to do with this Paul getting the job?"

I nodded, "I did."

"And this man's crime?"

"Consensual sex with an underage girl," I replied.

My grandfather laughed. "No wonder Yuri Valentinovich had no problems hiring him!"

"That old goat thinks he's twenty!" my grandmother said, shaking her head. "But his wife keeps him in line!"

"Like every good «бабушка» (babushka)!" I said with a grin. "We all know who is really in charge!"

"Mischa, we do," my grandfather said, "but we don't ever admit it to them!"

"Oops," I replied, then laughed softly.

"He's a wise boy, my grandson," my grandmother replied.

"And our granddaughter seems to be just as headstrong and rebellious as our daughter was at this age!" my grandfather said.

"And I wonder where she gets this from, hmm?" my grandmother asked.

"Yes, yes," my grandfather acknowledged. "Mischa, do you think this man is a danger to Elizabeth?"

"No," I replied. "And because I believe in repentance and forgiveness and that anyone can be saved, I have no choice but to help him, purely out of Christian love, if nothing else. And to help Liz as well. For me to do what my parents want, and reprimand Liz and refuse to have anything to do with her, would belie the Gospel, and it would be contrary to the service to which I am called."

My grandfather nodded, "I assume you said this to your parents?"

"I did. It's similar to what I said to Deacon Vasily. I believe he told you about that."

"He did. You were very wise, Mischa. A bit out of line, but called for, I think. These kinds of things happen with young people, and God forgives. Sasha married, appropriately, and faithfully attends church. Because God forgives, we must as well."

"Exactly," I replied. "And that's where I think, in the end, Mom will relent. It will just take some time. Do you think I've made a mistake?"

My grandfather laughed, "I'm sure of it because none of us are perfect, including my friend who managed to get himself burdened with a crown and staff! But I think you did the best you could, given the circumstances."

"You know if you tell Mom that, she's going to be just as angry with you as she is with me, and Dad will be even angrier."

"As if THAT hasn't happened before!" my grandmother said with a wry smile, "Rachel and her father did not see eye-to-eye when she was in High School or when she went to college. And, to tell the truth, we didn't approve of Peter when she met him, either. But he loved her and agreed to be chrismated, so we kept our mouths shut from that point."

"Does she know?" I asked.

"That we didn't approve? Yes. But as you've done with Liz, once we told her, we knew that anything we did would simply drive her to do the opposite of what we wanted. Your uncle was more like you, though, as you know, he had no interest in the clerical ranks. But he and his father got along very, very well, just as you did with your mother."

"And you?"

"Your mother and I were fairly close, and as Mikhail knows, I mediated between him and Rachel."

"Was she that bad?" I asked.

My grandfather smiled wryly, "She had modern sensibilities but managed to avoid getting into trouble."

I couldn't help but laugh. My grandfather knew, or at least strongly suspected, what my mom had been doing and had just admitted as much to me. And while I found it funny, it also bothered me from the standpoint that my mom was following my dad's lead, not what her parents had modeled for her. That was an interesting revelation in and of itself and was something I'd need to take into account in my own marriage.

"So what do you suggest, «Дедушка» (dedushka)?"

"«Исподволь и ольху согнёшь» (Ispodvol i olkhu sognosh)," he replied. ("be patient"; lit. "You can bend an alder tree, if you do it gradually")

I nodded because patience was, indeed, the correct strategy, and was the one I was following.

"I'll keep reaching out occasionally," I said.

"Good. Now, Larisa Sergeyevna, how is your grandfather? I haven't spoken to him in at least ten years."

"He's doing well and said to say 'hello', should I meet you."

"What? He can't pick up the telephone?"

Lara smirked, "I believe you have one as well, Mikhail Ivanovich!"

"So I do! So I do! Mischa, this girl is already on the path!"

"It's in the chrism, «Дедушка» (dedushka)!" I replied.

"Indeed! What are you studying, Larisa?"

"Mathematics with the plan to teach High School."

"Good. A very appropriate job for a Matushka which does not interfere with grandchildren!"

"Assuming I choose to marry Mike, yes."

It was my grandmother's turn to laugh now.

"You were saying about who is in charge, Mischa?" she asked my grandfather with a twinkle in her eye.

"Trust me! I know!" my grandfather said with a wry smile.

"Let me get lunch on the table, please," my grandmother said. "Come to the table in five minutes."

"I'll help you," Lara said.

She got up and followed my grandmother to the kitchen.

"Well?" he asked quietly.

"Things are going fine," I replied. "I'm also seeing Elizaveta Viktorovna Kozlov."

"I don't think they allow a Deacon two wives, Mischa!" he teased.

If they did, I might actually be able to work something out with Clarissa, but alas, my grandfather was exactly right.

"No, of course not! It's really a question of whether or not Larisa Sergeyevna is willing to put up with fulfilling the role of Matushka. If she is, then I think things will go the way you suggested earlier."

"You think that's truly a concern for her?"

I nodded, "It was for Natalya Vasilyevna. From the beginning, she made that point about being a deacon's wife. She wasn't thrilled by the microscope under which her mom had to live. Tasha was under that microscope as well, though it wasn't quite as harshly focused."

"So that was her real issue?"

"That plus she would have felt neglected while I was studying and working, and she wanted a family immediately, something to which I could devote very little time until after Residency. She couldn't accept the conditions, so to speak."

"I have to say it was surprising to many of us, but what you say makes sense. Being the wife of a clergyman is no easy task, and you will be training to be a doctor as well."

"Shall we go eat?" I asked.

"Yes!"

We went to join my grandmother and Lara and had a very nice lunch of Moscow borscht and black bread. As with anything my grandmother cooked, it was awesome, and the homemade black bread was out of this world, as usual. I could fill myself with bread and creamy butter and not have a single regret. When we finished, we thanked my grandparents for their hospitality, then headed back to McKinley so we could attend Vespers.

August 5, 1984, McKinley, Ohio

When Lara and I left the church, we headed back into town, where we'd go to Tasha's apartment to join Jocelyn, Clarissa, and Tasha for the afternoon. I'd survived both the Saturday night and Sunday morning services without any kind of incident between Lara and Elizaveta, but the looks Elizaveta's friends had given Lara were brutal. One weekend was OK, but once school started, the 'open warfare' that Clarissa had suggested might come to pass, though, with Elizaveta's friends acting as her proxies, even if she didn't encourage them to do so. I wasn't the only one who noticed, either.

"The junior «бабушки» (babushki) had the long knives out for me," Lara said as I pulled out of the church parking lot.

"I noticed," I replied. "But Elizaveta was very polite, as were you."

"Pistols at ten paces?" Lara teased.

"Except Oksana and Serafima would bring machine guns!" I chuckled.

"They're just trying to protect their friend's interest. And given you wear a cassock at church, you can't really display any affection to anyone."

"That does have its advantages because it allows me to remain neutral, at least outwardly."

"ARE you neutral?"

"Do you realize just how dangerous that question is when I'm still getting to know both of you? And trying to balance the fact that she's here full-time and you won't be for another few weeks?"

"And if I told you today, I was ready to make a commitment?"

"ARE you ready to do that?"

"Humor me."

"That's not fair, Larisa. I'm not saying it's an inappropriate question, but don't you think that answer commits me?"

Lara smiled, "The fact that you're answering that way tells me how you're feeling. You're sufficiently sure we're compatible that if I tell you today that I'm ready to make the lifetime commitment, you'll do it."

"That's not inaccurate," I replied. "But I also know you have some qualms about what amounts to, at least for you, enforced social conservatism."

"You've pretty much hit the nail on the head."

"And unlike any normal marriage, the room for negotiation is fairly limited."

"Trust me, I'm well aware," she replied. "It's one of the points my stepdad raised. Not in a 'trying to talk me out of it' way, but just making sure I went into this with my eyes wide open."

"And?"

"And I can't give you an answer just yet, but I think that's actually best because, as you say, you need time to get to know me better. And I agree with that. We're still on the same page. Mike. Baby steps, if you will. At least while there's still lots of time left on the clock."

I chuckled, "I'm not sure anyone else on the planet would call ten months 'lots of time'!"

"But it is, really, if you think about it logically. Either we decide to do this, or we don't, and I honestly don't feel that thinking about it for two or three years changes anything. It's a commitment, and once you give your word, you move forward and solve each problem as it arises."

"You haven't told me what happened with your parents," I said.

"My mom cheated with my stepdad. I take it that explains quite a bit?"

I nodded, "It does, especially why she might leave the church. Was your dad completely innocent in the matter?"

"As far as I'm aware, yes. He was granted a non-penitential second marriage."

"That's basically the bishop declaring your dad was a completely innocent party."

"That's what my grandfather said."

"Was your stepdad single at the time?"

"Yes. His marriage to my mom was his first. He's a good guy, generally. I guess he had a weakness for pretty Russian women. Or at least one specific pretty Russian woman."

"She initiated it?"

"Evidence certainly points that way."

"I never asked, what kind of law do they practice?"

"Mom does corporate law, which is how she met my stepdad. My biological dad is a tax attorney; my step-mom is bottom-feeding scum."

I chuckled, "What Jocelyn calls a plaintiff's attorney?"

"An ambulance chaser. Very lucrative, but the kinds of settlements she extracts are outrageous. Guess who her favorite targets are?"

"Doctors," I replied.

"Right the first time. Don't get me wrong, she's a sweetheart and I love her, but what she does for a living? No thanks. What does Jocelyn want to do?"

"Litigation. She'd like to be a federal judge at some point."

"Can I ask you about that conversation with your grandfather?"

I chuckled, "I was wondering when you'd ask. Mom was a 'wild child' and it appears my grandfather knew she was running around with a boy."

"'Running around'? What is this, Leave it to Beaver?"

"We're talking my mom here," I chuckled. "I'll use whatever euphemisms limit the amount of brain bleach I'm going to need!"

"You do realize how you came into the world, right?"

"Yes, of course! I'm not denying it happened; I just don't need to think about it! And yes, I know it still happens. But I also don't need to think about THAT either!"

"You didn't know your grandparents didn't approve of your dad?"

"No, but in hindsight, it doesn't surprise me. And that disapproval was likely related to my own problems with my dad. He has this Calvinist mindset where the world is divided into the saved and the reprobate."

"Which is why he thinks Paul isn't redeemable?"

"Yes, but I do have to grant him the point that, from his perspective, as well as that of the State of Ohio, Paul actually did rape Liz. I don't think so, and you and I discussed my unease with the whole thing."

"More about infidelity than anything, which is what your problem would be with my stepdad."

"Don't you mean your mom? She broke her vows. Sure, your stepdad broke the social compact, but it was your mom who broke her vows."

"Very enlightened!"

"Logical," I replied. "He didn't break any promise; he violated social customs. Your mom is the one who broke her promise. That doesn't make it less sinful on either of their parts, but to me, violating your vows is a direct attack on your own soul."

"As a clergyman, what would you do about a cheater?"

"That's a priest's job, not a deacon's, thank God!"

"Hypothetically?"

"As with any sin, it depends on repentance. And you have to take their family situation into consideration as to what the appropriate response would be. The same is true of the person who was cheated on. Reconciliation would be ideal, but I know I'd personally have a very hard time reconciling to a spouse who cheated."