Chapter 15: Fewest Strokes Possible

July 29, 1984, McKinley, Ohio

"Your mom hasn't called you yet?" Tasha asked when our small group gathered at her apartment on Sunday afternoon.

"No," I replied. "But I figured it would take a couple of weeks of not hearing from me or Liz before she decides she needs to talk to me."

"You're doing OK?"

"Yes. It's not all that different from you and Sasha, except that your dad figured it out quickly."

"If by that you mean you shamed him into behaving as a Christian should, then yes."

"How is Sasha doing?"

"She wishes they could be in their own place instead of at my parents' house, but until she graduates, that's difficult because she needs my mom or grandmother to watch Viktoriya, and it's much easier to do that at home."

"So the idea of being able to make love in her own bed isn't so attractive now?" I chuckled.

"Would you like to live with your parents once you were married?"

"Not particularly," I replied. "But in her case, finishing High School is important, and she needs the help."

"That would be true of Elizaveta as well," Tasha said.

"Yes, and Lara will have two more years of college, so either way, my wife will be in school. The main difference is no babies before they're out of school!"

"But lots of practice!" Tasha teased.

"And you'll do the same thing when you and Nikolas marry!"

"When will that be?" Jocelyn asked.

"Probably not until next Summer so that Nikolas has a job. Because he's at OSU, it's too difficult to live here in McKinley and drive to Columbus every day, and living there would make it difficult for me to drive to work every day."

"Bummer for you," I teased.

"Don't be «некультурный» (nekulturny)!" she squealed. ("inappropriate")

"If there is one place I can be «некультурный» (nekulturny), it's here!" ("inappropriate")

"Jocelyn, how are things with Bill?" Tasha asked.

"Progressing; the same as Clarissa and Abby."

"And you're taking Dona on those Friday night dates?" Tasha asked.

"Yes. And playing mini golf with her on Saturdays. I like her, and she's fun to be around, but she's not Orthodox and has no desire to go to church."

"Ask him about what he's doing tomorrow," Clarissa said.

"I have a golf lesson," I replied.

Tasha laughed, "Golf?! You?"

"I know," I replied with a shrug. "But Mr. Kozlov wants me to learn to play, and it is a pretty common thing for doctors."

"Are you going to have time for golf, karate, and chess?" she asked.

"Something will have to give," I replied. "And I think it'll be karate. Running is good exercise, and I can change the times and days I run to accommodate my schedule and even run on a treadmill if I need to. But we'll see how things go before I make any permanent decisions."

"Golf is way more expensive than karate," Jocelyn observed.

"That is something to consider," I replied. "It won't be a big deal ten years from now, but in the interim, it would be."

"We'll be gone Friday night and most of Saturday," Clarissa said. "Mike is taking me home to see my parents."

"Where's that?" Jocelyn asked.

"Sylvania. I haven't seen them since I came out to them a year ago."

"They're ready to deal with it?"

"Who knows?"

"All of our parents seem to have difficulty with our choices," Jocelyn observed.

"They're not quite ready for us to be adults," I said. "That was completely clear from my talk with my dad. Liz being eighteen didn't matter to him any more than it mattered when I turned eighteen."

"My mom and dad have NO room to talk," Jocelyn said. "I went to my biological parents' wedding!"

"As did Viktoriya!" Tasha added mirthfully. "Much to my father's dismay!"

"He tried his best to prevent that," I chuckled. "But nature had other ideas. I take it Sasha's blood pressure has returned to normal?"

"Yes. She's perfectly healthy and is trying to lose the weight she gained."

"She's nursing, right?" Jocelyn asked.

"Yes. Once school starts, that will be an issue, but she can express milk for feedings while she's at school."

"Do what?" I asked.

All three girls laughed.

"You can be such a boy at times," Jocelyn laughed. "She'll use a breast pump to remove milk from her breast and store it in a bottle in the fridge for Viktoriya's midday feeding."

"Things I had NO clue about," I replied. "Hopefully, stuff like that will be covered in our Reproductive Physiology class."

"A man admitting he has no clue!" Jocelyn teased. "Now there's a first!"

"Oh, please!" I protested. "How many times did I admit that to you over the years? Especially about girls!"

"And sex!"

Tasha and Clarissa laughed.

"You trained him well, Jocelyn!" Clarissa smirked.

"Yes, you did!" Tasha said primly.

I laughed hard for a good minute.

"Natalya Vasilyevna you are «некультурный» (nekulturny)!" I declared. ("inappropriate")

"This is a special situation, and sadly, soon enough, it will change. When you and I both marry, we'll need to behave differently."

"Unfortunately," I sighed.

July 30, 1984, McKinley, Ohio

"Michael, this is our PGA pro, Ron Franks," Viktor Kozlov said to me on Monday at the country club.

"Hi, Mr. Franks," I said.

He smiled, "Call me Ron, everyone does. I'll take it from here, Viktor."

"OK. Subdeacon, come find me in the Clubhouse when you're finished."

"Yes, Sir."

He walked away, and I turned to face Ron.

"OK. We'll start with a brief overview of the game. Can you tell me the object?"

"Complete the course in the fewest strokes possible. I've played mini golf, so THAT much I know."

"Good. Anything else you know?"

"Besides having seen Caddyshack?" I asked with a grin.

"That might not be the best instructional video!" he said with a wry smile.

"Then, beyond that, not really. Other than meeting Mr. Kozlov for lunch here, this is actually my first time on a golf course."

"Then let's take ten minutes and review the basic concepts."

He described the layout of the course, including tees, fairways, rough, hazards, and greens, as well as the range of clubs which might be used, and the basic rules. We then went to the driving range, and he handed me a club.

"This is a 5-iron," he said. "It's a middle-range club and is generally used from the fairway. It and the 7-iron are pretty much your go-to clubs for distances from about 120 yards up to around 200 yards. The most common use is for the second shot on a par 4 or the third shot on a par 5. Let's work on a basic stance and swing, and we'll take it from there."

"How many clubs are usually in a bag?"

"Fourteen, and you can select the clubs which you find most useful. Normally, that's the odd-numbered irons starting with the 3-iron; a pitching wedge; a sand wedge; a putter; a 1-wood, or driver; a 3-wood, or fairway wood; and then whatever other clubs you find useful, be they even-numbered irons, wedges, or woods. But don't worry about that at the moment.

"A bag of fourteen clubs is heavy, so for a casual game, you might only carry a driver, 3-wood, 5-7-9 irons, pitching and sand wedges, and a putter. In theory, you could play the entire course with a 5 iron and putter, but the eight-club bag is reasonably lightweight and easy to carry for eighteen holes. We don't allow golf carts except for senior players. Let me show you the stance."

He showed me how to 'address' the ball, focusing on the position of my feet and ensuring that my knees, hips, forearms, shoulders, and eyes were all aligned parallel to a line which went through the ball to the point for which I was aiming. He pointed out that the width of my stance would change based on the club I was using, but for the moment, he wanted to just deal with the 5-iron.

Once I had the stance correct, he showed me the proper grip, then how to align the club. He picked up the ball and had me take several practice swings, correcting me each time. He placed the ball back on the spot and asked me to hit it. I did, and it flew about 35° from the straight line.

"That would be a slice," he said with a gentle smile. "And it's pretty common for beginners. Your swing was a bit off, and you struck the ball with the clubface 'open', which resulted in a slice. Let me see your grip in the proper stance, please?"

I showed him, and he nodded.

"OK. First tip, when you grip, check the 'V' between your thumb and forefinger of your right hand points to your shoulder. Second, you rotated your hands a bit too much when you made your backswing. I know that might feel right, but it opens the clubface. Let's try again."

He put down the ball and had me hit it, and this time, it only went about 10° off true.

"Much better. You're still rotating the club a bit. Let's hit a dozen or so and try to keep a proper grip, and don't rotate your hands on the backswing. Try to be smooth as well."

I hit the twelve balls, most of which went off the center line, and Ron made some adjustments to my stance, then had me hit the rest of the bucket of balls, making minor corrections along the way. By the time I was done, I could hit the ball relatively straight, though the distance was lacking.

"We'll work on distance next time," he said. "Your stance and swing are the keys to playing an enjoyable round of golf. If you develop bad habits, you'll find yourself frustrated and be one of those people who think 'golf' is a 'four-letter word' or a way to ruin a nice walk in the countryside. If you develop good habits, you'll enjoy a round of golf with your doctor and lawyer friends, and it'll be a wonderful social time. See you next Monday at the same time?"

"Sounds good," I replied.

We shook hands and I went into the Clubhouse, found Mr. Kozlov, and we went to the main dining room to have dinner.

"How did it go?" he asked.

"I haven't been banned from the course," I grinned. "So, I suppose I did OK. I'm having trouble with slicing."

"Normal for a first-timer and not all that uncommon amongst amateurs. It just takes a lot of practice. After a few more lessons, we'll play a round. Of course, once the weather turns, golf is out unless we go to Myrtle Beach or someplace warm like that. What did you think?"

"Ask me when we play," I replied. "It's kind of like trying to judge what karate would be like from the first lesson."

"Did Ron tell you to come next Monday?"

"Yes."

"Good. We'll have dinner again. I'll see if some doctor friends of mine might join us."

"I'd like that," I replied.

I was, very obviously, being drawn into Mr. Kozlov's orbit, and he was showing me the value of being there, with the obvious goal of me marrying Elizaveta. And if I took it as a sales pitch, I'd have to say he was doing a very good job. And Elizaveta herself was doing a good job as well, showing off her cooking and baking skills. And her teasing about kissing indicated she, like certain other conservative Orthodox girls I knew, had the desire to enjoy what Tasha always called 'the marriage bed', though Tasha and I had made extensive use of it without actually being married.

"What courses are you taking this year?"

"Cellular biology, analytical chemistry with a lab, reproductive physiology, and Modern Social Issues during Fall semester. Then in the Spring, physical chemistry with a lab, a biology stats course, Russian Literature, and abnormal psychology. Normally, we'd have a research project, but the one we completed last year covers both."

"Who did you do your research with last year?"

"Clarissa and Sandy. Clarissa is the young woman who has come to church with me fairly regularly. We intend to go to medical school together and do our Residencies together, and ultimately, practice together."

"She's just a friend?"

I nodded, "A very close friend. We've been studying together since Freshman year. Elizaveta has spoken to her a number of times."

"And your closest male friend?"

"Is at UW-Madison, but I have some good friends at Taft, though none of them are pre-med, which is why they aren't study partners. We have a fairly close group of about a dozen students who hang out together. Only Sandy and Pete are a serious couple. The rest of us are just close friends, and most of them were at church for Pascha."

Well, Robby and Lee were a couple, but I wasn't about to get into that discussion.

"I've met your parents, but I don't know what they do."

"My dad is a supervisor in the Harding County Property Division, and my mom is a legal secretary."

"You have a sister, right?"

"Liz. She's living in Rutherford now. She's working as a hostess and will attend Rutherford Junior College in the Fall. She's studying accounting."

"I'd like to invite your family to dinner. Would you ask your parents?"

I'd talked to Lara the previous evening about the likelihood that we wouldn't be able to visit my parents, and it hadn't been an issue for her, but this was different. I wasn't quite sure how to resolve the issue, given I wasn't really speaking to my parents.

"I expect to talk to them later this week, so I'll ask them."

"Good."

The waiter came and took our order, and once he'd done so, we continued our small talk as we got to know each other. When we finished our meal, I thanked him, said I'd see him at church, and on Thursday, then headed back to campus.

August 1, 1984, McKinley, Ohio

"Mike!" Clarissa exclaimed. "Our results are here!"

"I'm about to leave for church," I replied. "I'll open mine later."

"What?!" Jocelyn demanded.

I laughed, "Wow, you're gullible!"

"I'll show YOU gullible, Mik!" she said menacingly.

Clarissa handed me my envelope, which had been sent to Doctor Blahnik's house, as that was my legal residence.

"You first, Lissa," I said.

She nodded and carefully opened the envelope. Her eyes lit up, and a broad smile spread across her face.

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "Biology 13; Chemistry 13; Physics 10; Science 13; Reading 13; Quantitative 12; 74 composite, which is the 97th percentile!"

"Wow!" Jocelyn gushed. "Congrats!"

"Great job, Lissa!" I exclaimed.

"Your turn, Petrovich!" Clarissa declared.

I opened the envelope and extracted the contents. I quickly scanned them and realized I'd beat Clarissa by a single point.

"Biology 14; Chemistry 14; Physics 10; Science 13; Reading 12; Quantitative 12; 75 composite, which is the 98th percentile."

"Congrats, Petrovich! One point! You beat me in biology and Chemistry, but I beat you in reading."

"There were no science fiction questions," I replied.

"Great job, Mik!" Jocelyn said, hopping up to hug and kiss me.

"Those are really good scores, right?" Dona asked.

"98th and 97th percentile means only one or two percent of students who took the test did better," I replied. "That means we'll get into basically any medical school we want, but we want McKinley Medical School here."

"Neither of you did very well in physics," Jocelyn observed.

"A score of 10 is basically average," Clarissa replied. "It's pretty much what both of us expected. We studied with the intent of being average there but excelling in chemistry, biology, and general science. It worked."

"Physics doesn't seem all that important with regard to being a doctor," Dona said.

"Part of it is ensuring you have a solid science background," Clarissa said. "But there are advances in what's being called 'nuclear medicine' for treating cancer and tumors. But neither of us is going to do much in that area."

"What's next then?" Dona asked.

"Interviews," I replied. "We're both interviewing at McKinley Medical School on September 13th. We'll hear from the other schools very soon. And I hate to read my results and run, but I need to get to church."

"Celebrate with Chinese food and wine at Doctor Blahnik's house?" Clarissa asked.

Everyone agreed, and I left for church, where I shared my results first with Father Nicholas, then after Vespers, with Tasha and Viktor Kozlov, both of whom congratulated me. I left the church and headed to Doctor Blahnik's house, where the girls were waiting with Chinese food.

"Just a splash of wine," I said when Jocelyn began pouring.

"Sticking to your self-imposed limits?"

"I'm going to abstain almost completely once I finish my second year of medical school," I said.

"What about you, Clarissa?" Jocelyn asked.

"I'm not sure, but I certainly have to be careful. I'm just not sure complete abstention is necessary."

"I'll probably allow myself things like champagne on New Year's or some drinks when I'm on vacation," I said. "But if there's a chance I'll be called in, then I have to have 0.0."

"That makes sense," Jocelyn said. "Are you going to call your parents with your test scores?"

"I hadn't decided. I'll call Liz after we eat. I'll tell Lara when she arrives tomorrow. I talked to her last night to confirm our plans."

"But not seeing your parents?"

"I expected my mom to call, but she hasn't. I suppose I'll call to tell her my MCAT results and see what she says. Lara and I will go see Liz on Saturday, no matter what."

"It would be the right gesture to call your mom," Jocelyn said.

We toasted our success, ate our dinner, and I went to use the phone in Milena's room to make my calls. I called Liz first, and she shrieked so loudly I had to move the handset from my ear.

"Mikey! You did great!"

"And I'm now permanently deaf in one ear," I teased.

"Sorry! How did Clarissa do?"

"What?" I teased, pretending I couldn't hear her.

"Oh, stop!" Liz laughed. "I know you heard me!"

"I did," I chuckled. "Clarissa scored only one point lower. Basically equally well."

"Cool! Are you still planning on breakfast on Saturday?"

"Yes. We'll meet you at the restaurant at 7:00am. Did you hear from Hannah or Violet?"

"They told me what happened. I can't believe Maggie reacted the way she did. I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to apologize for. Just so you know, I'm going to call Mom to tell her about my test scores."

"I figured you would. She tried to talk to Emmy, but Emmy told her she wasn't going to get involved."

"Good. That should be everyone's response. See you Saturday morning!"

We said 'goodbye', I pressed the switchhook, then dialed my parents' house.

"Loucks residence," Mom said when she answered.

"It's Mike," I said. "I called to tell you I scored a 75 on the MCAT, which is the 98th percentile."

"That's very good," she replied. "Congratulations."

"Lara's going to be visiting this weekend, and I had planned to bring her to meet you, possibly for lunch on Saturday, but I'm not sure I'm welcome."