07: Religious Tirades

A man can be himself
only so long as he is alone;
and if he does not love solitude,
he will not love freedom;
for it is only when he is alone
that he is really free.

Arthur Schopenhauer

“Thanks for helping us ferry people,” Al began. “We honestly needed the assistance with this.”

“Yeah, there’s a real ... full load to transport,” Betty said, catching herself before saying something she shouldn’t in front of so many small children.

“Believe me, it was worth seeing you go apoplectic every time someone mentioned Lozzlint,” Xi giggled before turning to her bond-mate. “And you’re going to have to learn to reserve your adult language for telepathic messages.”

“With you two there,” Al said, ignoring the comment, “you can allocate people to different tasks. They’ve each studied for specific shipboard functions, but we’ll have to determine how out-of-date their knowledge is. In particular, since the Peaceful Avenger is a hybrid vessel, we’ll have to train the new additions in the ship’s unique systems. That means you’ll have to schedule the various engineers to review each group’s approaches and procedures.

“They’ll need some real-world experience before we can rely on them. But for now, use your best judgment in assigning administrative roles, based on how much they understand.”

“Even if they expertise not recent, they leadership excellent,” Triznor interjected. “Everyone respect them. They do better than those we still unsure.”

“And what are your plans for their ship?” Betty asked.

“It depends on whether we can repair the faster-than-light drive. Lamar, Taq and I will check it out,” Mai said. “We’ll revive the Lozzlint and see how badly it’s fared since it was shutdown. It may be unusable, if so we’ll gain some additional replacement parts. That’s especially true as most of our environmental controls are entirely Tandorian. We can also recover the ship’s memories like we’d originally planned. I’m sure they’ll appreciating knowing more about their past than their ancestors might have recalled.”

“A spare ship would be beneficial,” Eli said while helping his share of Lozmonom board his shuttle. “Can you imagine someone’s reaction as they watch us approach with two different warships? If we arrive from alternate directions, they’ll agree to anything to negotiate a cease fire.”

“More realistically, an additional ship means we can continue exploring while someone remains home—wherever that ends up being,” Be explained. “The extra people will aid our establishing a sustainable colony, while helping once we start having babies of our own.”

“So...” Al asked, “when are you planning to begin?”

“Conceiving? Xi instructed our aids to resume our egg production as soon as you requested shuttles to transport people. It may take a month or two, regardless of ovulation periods, as we restart the necessary hormones, but we might get lucky right away.”

“Hopefully we’ll schedule it so everyone isn’t pregnant at once,” Al said, eyeing them warily. “I know you’re eager to commence, but one pregnancy per bond grouping seems a reasonable compromise. That way each family can get their feet wet before the next one.”

The two women frowned. “It makes sense, but it may be a bare-knuckle fight over who goes first.”

“How about if we do by age, first in, first out if you will?” Be suggested. “Whoever entered their pair-bonding first gets to have the first baby?”

“I’m sure you love that idea!” Xi countered. “Perhaps we should put it to a vote?”

“I’m inclined to side with Be,” Al said. “It also makes sense putting Myi off, since no one has experience in her species’ childbirth.”

“Nonsense,” she said, approaching from behind. “I could tell from your expressions you were hatching something, and I’m glad I stopped by. “Childbirth is straightforward, and I can tell you anything you need to know. Xi’s already read up on it. However, you’ve got a significant point. Siss’s tentacle fingers are particularly adept at delivering babies of any species—even our egg-layers—and our medical library contains adequate data on each physiology.”

“I hate to break it to you,” Xi said, “but those aids are darn effective. Although they can reverse the process, it’ll take about a month. So you might end up with three pregnant wives, whether you like it or not.”

“You’re not saying that just to buy time, hoping I can’t resist you all for that long, are you?”

“Who, me?” she teased. “Seriously, you’re terrible at abstaining, even when exhausted. With this many people, you won’t have that excuse.”

“Unless I put in the work organizing these people. You know I like to learn everyone’s name, what influences them, and how I can win them over. I can easily exhaust myself just talking to our new additions!”

“Don’t bother. There’s nothing we can do to shorten the time. Once the egg is released, it’s in play until it’s done. Besides, the chances of our becoming pregnant at once are remote.”

“Maybe not,” Be added, “but I intend to stack the odds in our favor. You may talk incessantly, but you’ve got come to bed sooner or later. While you might resist, you know you can only say no so many times before relenting.”

“Geez, you three, and everyone talking me into doing things which terrify me is gonna be the death of me.”

“That’s our man,” Xi said, hugging him. “He’s fearless facing a Zssizliq vessel singlehandedly, leading a small fleet of warships to the Tandorian Emperor’s door, or beings who can decimate his ship in minutes. Yet three women declaring we want a little loving terrifies him.”

“At least something does. I was beginning to think he’s not mortal,” Betty quipped.

“Don’t worry.” Myi hugged the new crewmember, whom Al would interact with on a daily basis for months. “Have a word with Lozzlint for us, will you? If you do, we’ll definitely make it worth your while.”

“You’re on, giving him some extra loving is the least we can do to repay him for finally taking us home!”

“Damn, I’m done for,” Al called into the heavens. “I’m tellin’ ya, Lozzlint, I’m doomed!”

__________
‘All right, our engineers have taken the faster-than-light drives offline. It’s time to restart your ship and conduct a comprehensive systems check to see how viable it is. It’s time to unlock the system to restore its functionality. This is what your people and your ancestors have been waiting for. The honor is all yours.‘

‘Geers faster-light down, ‘ Chich’k translated. ‘Start she. Big tribute.‘

‘Gladly, ‘ Triznor said, via the normal communication channel in her borrowed suit. ‘I wait this whole life. It almost big as returning with you to home.‘

‘Yeah, we’ll get to that, but first we need to determine how you’ll get there. Whether we’ll all travel in a single ship, or split your people between the two so we have more capacity and options.‘

‘One she, two, ‘ Chich’k repeated.

Al glared at her. ‘I could have said that much.‘

‘Yet you not, stead talk, talk, ‘ she replied with a cheeky grin, her encased tail twitching.

‘I understand what involved.‘ Triznor turned as Taq turned the final release, once again revealing a small display offering the Tandorian prompt: “Password?”

“Lozzlint,” she calmly wrote, as if she’d done it hundreds of times.

“Welcome aboard the Lozzlint, Captain,” the screen displayed.

Al’s expression darkened, his fists clenching, as the larger board lit up behind them as the system booted up. ‘Hold on. Everyone gave me such grief about your supposed goddess determining my fate, leading me here, and watching over my shoulder my entire life. And now I learn it was never anything more than a metaphor for your ship, which was deactivated centuries ago?‘

‘I ... it... ‘ she fumbled, trying to formulate an answer.

‘Did NO ONE think to read the name of the damn vessel?‘ Al demanded of his crew, or at least the previous day’s crewmembers.

‘We couldn’t, ‘ the One explained. ‘It was emblazoned on the side of the vessel in a language we couldn’t translate.‘

‘And no one thought of asking when we met the Lezmonom?‘

‘I had an inclination when they kept referring to her in the abstract, ‘ Kaci said from behind him.

Al spun, glaring at her. ‘You KNEW, and didn’t think to mention it? I would have asked!‘

‘Me know, and me ask, ‘ Chich’k offered, with a hint of mirth in her voice. ‘Funny no tell.‘

‘Are you INSANE?‘

She shrugged. ‘Harm what no tell? Still start ship, Lezmonom still return home, but fun watching you mouth foam.‘

‘I just might... ‘

‘Relax, ‘ Myi cautioned, holding his shoulder and hugging him with her other arm. ‘Unclench your jaw, otherwise you’ll give yourself a stroke. As Chich’k said, it doesn’t change anything.‘

‘It won’t? You all conspired to hoodwink me, when this was nothing more than an allegory for missing a life you never knew?‘

Rather than defending herself, Triznor backed up, cowering before his wrath. Everyone tensed, unsure how this might unfold. This behavior was uncharacteristic of Al, and no one was sure what it signified.

‘If you think you can play me for a fool, wrapping me around your little finger, you’ve got another thing coming. You’ve lived here for centuries, I’m sure you’ll do fine until the next sucker comes along!‘

‘Al, don’t say anything you’ll—‘

‘Don’t lecture me!‘ he screamed. ‘You were a part of this, drawing fantastical parallels between them and us. You clouded my judgment, playing on my doubts until I wasn’t sure what was happening.‘

‘Please! No leave us, ‘ Triznor cried, still groveling. ‘There no one else. You only one rescue and lead us home. Lozzlint promise—‘

‘No! You can’t play that wildcard again. You pulled it early and bet everything on your little con. Appealing to my reason and sympathy would have worked, but you’ve proven everyone on this planet are manipulative charlatans!‘

Triznor glanced desperately at the others in the room. ‘Please, I no know what those mean.‘

‘Lax, ‘ Chich’k urged. ‘Nothing change, why I nothing say. Mere funny think.‘

‘You think?‘ Al bellowed. ‘You find deceiving your captain—the person who determines whether we all live or die—humorous? You don’t find trusting those beside you worthwhile? You’d trade everything I’ve offered you since Kaci and Ivan took you in for a damn NUT? As you agree with them, maybe I should leave you here with your Lozmonom friends. You seem to favor them over us! Of course, we’ll see whether they’ll remain behind with you, or dump your treacherous ass, deciding they prefer fresh air, a healthy environment and freedom.‘

‘Al, you’re getting crazy, ‘ Myi cautioned. ‘This isn’t like you. You’re normally so calm in the face of adversity—‘

‘No! This is what happens when I’m betrayed by those I trust.‘ Al’s face was flushed, his eyes constricted. Condensation formed inside his visor. His hands swung like yardarms, threatening to sweep anyone near into the abyss. ‘I’ve danced around everybody hating us for too long! My family, my friends, my country, my planet, the Tandorians, Quichoq, the Emperor’s minions. I’ve played nice with everyone who wanted nothing more than to stick a knife in my back. Now, I discover those I loved and trusted the longest were manipulating me for their own amusement! No more! I’m done playing peacemaker. When my friends and family no longer respect me, and mock me by playing perverse games with my head—‘

‘Please!‘ Triznor pleaded, dropping to her knees and bawling the words. ‘You no abandon us. Punish me. Sacrifice me. I give you weapon, but mercy have my people. My life nothing, but for everything which—‘

‘Don’t you DARE use that name again!‘ Al shrieked, this time even frightening Solomon, who the last anyone knew was still asleep aboard the shuttle. He now broadcast a song of fury and terror, ratcheting up everyone’s angers and fears, then fell silent, unsure what was unfolding. ‘You will NOT play me, or us, again! Whatever you think of me, I represent the future of everyone onboard. You can have your damn ship, but you WON’T accompany us any farther. Right now, I want nothing to do with the rest of you either! If anyone dares as much as breathe, I’m likely to strangle you before Lozzlint and all her lackeys!‘

‘What ... what I say?‘ she implored, searching the others’ faces for what brought forth the tirade. Everyone backed up at his latest volley, no longer recognizing the man before them.

As silence descended, Chich’k whispered to her privately via the suit-to-suit microphones and speakers.

‘He think deceive him. There no Lozzlint. There only she.‘

She blinked through her visor, trying to make the logical connections. She then turned to Al, who still towered over her, daring her to utter another word.

‘Me no mean that. Lozzlint real! She guide you, us, everyone. Bring you here, to she Lozzl—‘ Her words died on her lips as she realized where the heart of the confusion lay. She struggled to stand, and Al seemed like he might strike her.

‘She name after Lozzlint. She not She! We name to honor goddess, like we name ourselves, and my mother name me. She our everything. For her bring you all this way, only for you storm off, leave friends and family—‘

Triznor’s pupils expanded, her brows rising.

‘I amend make!‘ She stood, reached into her waist pack and removed a ceremonial knife no one had seen her carrying. ‘I sacrifice self. I guilty. I say wrong, but please, take Lezmonom home!‘ She swept the blade down, aiming for her heart, but Chich’k, Kaci and Myi all leapt forward, trying to save her. Only, they weren’t fast enough. Although they grabbed her arms, the point cut into her suit at her side. Yet the Tandorian material, designed for hand-to-hand combat against a multitude of foes, was stronger than she suspected. As they restrained her, the knife stood at an angle, swaying in place, partially embedded in the suit’s thin skin.

‘NO!‘ she cried, forlornly. ‘I must! Lozzlint demand me die save Lezmonom. I betray with careless words.‘ She struggled, wresting her right arm free, spinning out of Chich’k’s grasp and grasped the stylized handle again.

‘No!’ Al shouted, wrapping his own hand around the blade and yanking it from her suit. ‘You won’t die!‘ He turned and flung it, where it clattered against the wall, but doing so he accomplished what she couldn’t. He heard a telltale hiss inside his helmet.

“Suit breech,” his suit announced. “Repair immediately!” Everyone in the chamber saw the air escaping, as the moisture condensed into tiny free-floating bubbles which shot across the room.

The others released Triznor as they turned towards him. Her hands went to her faceplate, realizing what she’d done. Myi and Kaci rushed to assist, but he was twisting in place. Like all Tandorian vessels, the gravity from the ship’s dark-matter flooring kept them stable. Yet Al struggled to stem the loss of air, clutching his hand while shielding it with his other glove.

‘I’ll get my emergency repair—‘ Taq shouted. But before he could, Chich’k leapt on Al’s shoulders. She wrapped her legs and tail around his helmet, dangled down his chest and shoved his hand apart. When they separated, and the air streamed out, she sprayed a suit-repair capsule, which foamed and hardened against his glove.

‘Lozzlint!‘ Myi yelled, though her words had no way of reaching the new ship’s AI. ‘We need oxygen!‘

The lights had come on during the excitement. Al pulled his arm up and away from Chich’k and examined her emergency repair. It looked stable, but his helmet continued blinking numbers in red. The alarm in his suit halted when the breach was stemmed, but his oxygen was depleted. He found himself gasping, trying to get sufficient air. The Tandorian suits fit tight to allow for maximum flexibility in the field, meaning they didn’t have much spare oxygen. Instead it delivered air to the mouth and skin, recycled from a compact pack on their back. They each had repair kits—essential in combat, where life and death was determined in minutes—but no one envisioned this as a potentially fatal encounter.

‘I’m getting dangerous reading from your suit, ‘ the One warned, broadcasting it to everyone in his crew. ‘Your oxygen levels are critical.‘

‘What the hell happened?‘ Betty demanded. ‘Don’t you dare die on me, especially not since everything was going so well!‘

‘I’m sorry, Be, ‘ Myi responded. ‘I wasn’t fast enough to stop it.’

As the numbers in Al’s suit dropped, his vision blurred and he crumbled to his knees. ‘Need ... air, ‘ he gasped telepathically, swaying unstably in place.

Triznor, realizing what she’d accidentally done to her benefactor, was aghast. Seeing her knife, resting against a nearby wall, she scrambled for it, distracting those trying to assist Al. Clamoring to it, she knelt, holding it up and pointing at her chest.

‘I killed he who destined save us! I destroy my people only hope with careless words, thoughtless acts. Lozzlint, I bequeath me to you care. Ensure I suffer for harm do Lezmonom!‘ She lifted the knife high, and plunged it towards her with sufficient force to finally puncture the suit she couldn’t before.

Only, her arms were knocked aside as Chich’k flung herself against her, having leaped off Al’s chest, knocking him over. The ceremonial blade once again skittered across the floor, bouncing off the ship’s energy casings. ‘No one else die!‘ she insisted. ‘One death too many!‘

Al thrashed on the deck, clutching at his throat with no one was prepared to intervene, until Taq rushed in. He slammed something in Al’s side, once again puncturing his suit.

“Suit breach! Danger! Danger!” He closed his eyes, preparing his final thoughts, when the numbers shining on his face switched from red to green. Hesitating, he realized he was finally able to draw a breath. Unsure what happened, everyone turned to Taq.