Chapter 32: The County Council

I went home and did some paperwork until the kids came home from school. Or kid, anyway. Only Seamus got off the bus and came down the driveway. “Welcome home,” I told him when he came in.

“Hey, Dad.” He was wearing shorts, a t-shirt, and running shoes, pretty much the same outfit I was wearing a generation ago. Barney shook himself awake and jumped off the couch and went over to Seamus, who scratched his ears. “Hey, Barney, how you doing? Busy taking a nap?”

“He got sleepy after a long day of laying around,” I told him.

“That’s the job I want when I grow up.”

I snorted. “That’s what employers are looking for, Seamus, ambition!”

He laughed. “Another six weeks and I’ll be able to help Barney with his job.”

“Another six weeks and you’ll be able to get your working papers and get a job over at the mill. You’ll be able to run an idiot stick for your Uncle Dave.”

“That would be like... work, right? Sorry, Dad, you’re just not selling it,” he told me.

I gave him a dry look. “Do you like girls?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, girls cost money. You’ll need a job.”

He gave me a superior look and puffed out his chest. “Dad, what makes you think I’m going to be spending money on girls? Maybe they’ll be spending money on me!”

“You just keep dreaming, sonny. Maybe you’ll get a job writing science fiction!” Smart ass!

Seamus laughed and headed off to his room with Barney trailing.

Kelly was the next one home, coming in after her last class. “Hey, honey, how was your day?” she asked. She tossed her bag down and gave me a kiss and a hug.

“Good. I had an interesting meeting this morning, and then came home to hear your son decide to become a gigolo.”

Kelly stared at me for a second. “My son? A gigolo?”

“I can’t make this shit up, babe. He told me that he was planning on sleeping all summer, like Barney, and I told him he was going to get his working papers and get a job, so he could afford a girlfriend. He told me that his girlfriends - plural! - were going to be paying him.”

“Well, he’s ambitious, if nothing else. Don’t worry. He asked me last week about getting online for his work permit. He’s just pulling your chain.”

“Think I ought to kick his butt?” I laughed.

“And damage his ability to earn a living as a gigolo? What if he has talents you never dreamed of?” As she said that she held her hands about a foot apart. “Maybe he’s not his father’s son!”

“You want to get smacked? I can do it, you know!”

Kelly just laughed. “Make me a drink, Shorty.”

“Oh, you are pushing it!” I went to the liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and showed it to her; Kelly nodded, and I set it on the counter. “Where’s Riley?”

“Worried she’s out finding a gigolo?” I gave her a look and my wife laughed. “She had some sort of extra credit project for her AP Physics class. She’ll be home in time for dinner.”

“Which is what?”

“You’re the househusband. You tell me!”

I gave her a dirty look. “Then it’s leftovers! We need to clean out the fridge.”

Kelly laughed and nodded agreement.

Riley came home about an hour later and after greeting us she announced she had solved the difficulties involved in controlled nuclear fusion. Seamus immediately fell into her trap and asked her what she was talking about. Kelly and I just rolled our eyes; we would have simply said, “That’s nice,” and let her stew. Riley promptly laughed at her brother and gave him grief.

God save the Coast Guard Academy!

Later that evening, after the kids had gone to their rooms and left their hopelessly clueless and ancient forebears in peace Kelly asked, “Did you meet with the County Executive? How did that go?”

I shrugged my shoulders and rolled my eyes. “God only knows. I met with him this morning, but I don’t know what is going to happen next.” She looked at me curiously and I continued. “The council dumped it on him to solve, but they don’t care or have a clue. They just want somebody to wave a magic wand and sprinkle pixie dust and unicorn poop on it and make it all go away. The only way to fix this is with money, which is the last thing they are interested in doing.”

“What about Bo? Can he do anything?”

Again, I shrugged. “Calling Talbot was probably about as much as he can do. The next step will be when lawyers start suing and the Staties come in and order reforms or else. If that happens, Katie bar the door, shit is going to fly!”

“And that’s bad?”

“That’s bad.”

“Maybe it would wake them up,” Kelly said.

“The most dangerous thing in the world is a politician who needs to do something to keep his job. It’s pretty much guaranteed that they will do the easy but wrong thing. No, what needs to be done will take time and money, neither of which the council will be interested in coughing up,” I explained.

“Well, if you take it, try to hang in long enough to get the kids through high school before they run us out of town.” At that point conversation ended, because Barney came bounding down the hallway and sat down at the front door to be let outside before he went back to sleeping. Useless mutt!

After letting Barney out and back in, Kelly and I headed to bed, where she checked to see if I had the requisite qualifications to become a gigolo. Not satisfied with the first experiment, she demanded a second qualification test before informing me she would sleep on the problem. Fine by me. I was a bit tired by that point myself!

Nothing much happened over the next few days, though we both wondered. Kelly and Samantha decided that the Effners would come over Saturday afternoon for dinner, and Samantha promised Bo wouldn’t beg off for some political dinner. Bo and I talked about it over drinks while we were outside at the grill.

“You met with Jim Talbot?” he asked.

“Thursday morning. You hear anything from him?” I replied.

“Not much. I called him yesterday but all he told me was that the two of you had met and that your answers were interesting but disturbing.”

I nodded. “Sounds about right. I told him the truth, that it would take money and time, but the department could be fixed. Leave it alone and the county comes apart at the seams.”

“There’s some who think that would be a good idea.” I looked at him and he added, “I heard one idiot say that East Matucket should split off from Matucket County and join Paulding or Douglas County.”

I just rolled my eyes and shook my head. “Dumbasses. We are surrounded by Haralson and Carroll Counties. Which one do they think will allow East Matucket to carve out a corridor to join Paulding or Douglas? Not to mention if they ever thought about the property taxes counties closer to Atlanta will cost them. They’d have a better chance joining Haralson or Carroll.”

“Never going to happen. It would take both an act of the state legislature and an act of God to carve Matucket County into something even smaller,” he replied. “I don’t know how much more I can do to change things. I’ve dropped your name in their laps, but some people are determined to touch the stove no matter how many times you tell them it’s hot.”

“Amen!”

Talbot called me back Monday afternoon. “I’ve talked to some of the council members. They would like to meet you at a council meeting later this week.”

“Is this a public meeting?” Politicians and the public are a dangerous mix, and not one guaranteed to generate intelligent responses.

“No, thank God! That is the last thing any of us want! It’s more of a job interview. The plan right now is that whoever they hire, they are simply going to announce his name and do a press conference and leave it at that.”

I grunted an acknowledgement and he told me to show up at the county office building at seven on Wednesday night. He also told me that some of the council members weren’t interested in hiring anybody; they wanted the hiring process to collapse. Terrific.

I was at the office building at quarter of seven on Wednesday, and Talbot grabbed me and pulled me into his office. “They’re running half an hour late, so I figured I’d better let you know.”

“It’s not worth going home just so I can drive back here,” I commented. “What’s the latest?”

He threw his hands up in the air and shook his head. “I’m just not sure. You’re the third person they’ve had in here to talk to. Fourth, actually, but one woman dropped out when she got a better offer. That works in your favor, since the other two are men, and white men at that. I think if they had a woman or somebody of color, you’d be SOL. At least one of the men has told me that unless the county council gets off the pot sometime soon, he’s out of it as well.”

“So, what’s the latest? There’s seven council members. What do they think?”

“All I know for sure is that Pendergast won’t vote for you. He hates the cops, and he hates you. Beyond that, I’m just not sure.”

“Harlan Alderdyce hates me, too.” He represented the Fourth District, from the East Matucket suburbs at the southern end of Lake Matucket.

Talbot looked at me curiously. “Oh?”

“I put his brother in jail and got him disbarred to boot. Didn’t sit well with the family.” Talbot’s eyes widened. “Clinton Alderdyce was the Holden family lawyer and fixer, and when they went down, so did he, and the family blames me. Not without reason,” I said, with a tired smile.

“You are just making my day. Two others and you are history. From what Thadwicket says, they plan to decide sometime next week.” Sue Thadwicket was the President of the council and represented District Two on the western side of Matucket.

“Or not. We’re dealing with the Matucket County Council, after all. As for Pendergast, you’re right. He represents the black vote out of District Three. He thinks he’s the next Martin Luther King Junior, but nobody else agrees, including his constituents. The Holdens also had a piece of him, but he was able to slip through that noose. For the last twenty years he has voted against every police budget and every police hiring decision ever brought before the council,” I told him.

“Figures.”

We talked a few minutes more and then there was a knock on the door. Talbot yelled out, “Enter!” and a woman opened the door. “Ready?” he asked.

“Everybody’s here,” she replied. She entered and came up to me. “Doctor Reaper?” I nodded and she said, “I’m Ruby Keller. I’m your councilperson, from District Six.”

“Pleased to meet you. I thought you looked familiar.” We shook hands.

“I hope you can sort this mess out. Anyway, everybody’s here. Time to go.”

She led us to a conference room on the second floor. That proved that the meeting was not public, since it wasn’t large enough for any kind of audience. Most of the people were seated, but an older woman was standing. “Welcome,” she said. “I don’t think we’ve met, but I’m Sue Thadwicket and I’m the Council President. Thank you for coming in, Doctor Reaper. Please, have a seat.” She pointed at a seat at one end of the conference table and then sat down at the other end.

I nodded and sat down. “Thank you for inviting me.” Talbot sat down at my left.

“You’re welcome. Let me introduce everybody.” She started to the left of Talbot and worked her way around the table. There was Bill Wellman from West Springs, a Republican, somebody I had met through Grandpa. Next to him were Bob Smollett and Ruby Keller, both Republicans from East Matucket. Thadwicket was also a Republican from the west side of Matucket. Then the Democrats were seated, Harlan Alderdyce from the East Matucket suburbs, Reverend Pendergast, and finally George Wilson from Matucket.

By pure party politics, the Republicans outnumbered the Democrats four to three. On the other hand, the districts were all mixed up. East Matucket was notoriously liberal; even the Republicans were liberal. George, on the other hand, was a conservative Democrat. I wasn’t sure what any of that meant. I just knew I had two NO votes no matter what, Pendergast and Alderdyce.

The council president started by saying, “Doctor Reaper, your name has been submitted for the position of Chief of Police for the Matucket Police Department by the Lieutenant Governor. Would you agree that this is an unusual state of affairs?”

I smiled and nodded. “Pretty much. On the other hand, the standard method of advertising for a replacement chief and hiring by way of recruiting agencies hasn’t really worked out so well, has it?”

“You’re out of line, Reaper! I move we end this farce and send you home!” said Alderdyce loudly.

“Second the motion!” added Pendergast.

Thadwicket sighed and said, “This is not a formal meeting of the council, and we are not going to be playing Robert’s Rules of Order so knock it off, you two. This is a job interview. The only vote is going to be after we review all the candidates.” She looked down the table at me. “You don’t think much of the way we’ve been running the search?”

I shrugged. “It’s a standard method of finding candidates. The problem is that it’s also expensive and inefficient. The county has been using this technique for the last ten years and the last four chiefs. None of the chiefs selected have lasted even three years, and some much less, before quitting, or being fired, or going to jail.” I noticed a few grimaces at that. “You end up with people who are more interested in themselves than in Matucket County.”