Chapter 10: Preparing the Way—Meredith

Patching Things Up

Meredith was unhappy. She hadn’t planned to be home to shock Liam when he brought Hana back. And she could tell he was shocked to see her but there had been something else in his eyes she could not fathom. Then she talked to her roommate.

“I told Liam, I hope you had as much fun on your date as I did.”

“You told Liam I was on a date?”

“Why? Was it supposed to be a secret? I assumed you arranged things so you and Liam would both have dates on the same night. Oh, and he is a good kisser. He lived up to that advertisement.”

“So, you kissed.”

“At the door. Just one goodnight kiss. The boy was so shocked that it took a moment to respond, but when he got into it ... I nearly brought him in. It’s just too bad I won’t be able to see him again for a while.”

“Well, I promised him next weekend I would date him.”

“Maybe he didn’t recall that when he asked me out again. But you have him. I’m starting my new rotation next weekend and it promises to keep me either at the hospital or at my books around the clock for a while.”

“Liam can be ... possessive. I’d better be ready for his call in the morning.”

Meredith considered her options. It was Sunday and she would probably meet with Liam in the afternoon. If he didn’t suggest it, she would. Until then, she was stuck within her own rules and had to wait until ten before Liam would call. She wished she had told him seven!

It was after eleven before her phone rang. Hana’s had rung promptly at ten o’clock. She told Meredith Liam was being a perfect gentleman and just called to tell her how much he enjoyed being with her. He also reminded her that she had forgotten her chocolates and offered to bring them by. Hana said to just enjoy them and she would be more alert the next time they got together. When he called Meredith, she was already a wreck. But when the phone rang, she took a deep breath and smiled.

“Good morning. This is Meredith.”

“Good morning, Meredith. It’s Liam. I hope you’re well this morning.”

“I am, Liam. I’m always happy to receive your calls.”

“Just as it makes me happy to speak with you. It’s a beautiful day. I wondered if you would be interested in a ride this afternoon. Who knows how many good trail days there will be before we are both too caught up in school to make use of them?”

“What a lovely invitation, Liam. Would two o’clock be a good time?”

“I’ll have your favorite mare saddled and awaiting you.”

“Liam, about last night...”

“We’ll have lots of time to talk on our ride, dear. Please let’s have this conversation face-to-face.”

“Yes, that would be best. I will see you this afternoon then.”

“Goodbye for now, dear Meredith.”

“Goodbye, Liam.”

Meredith stood staring at the phone. She wondered if Liam had plastered a smile on his face before he called in order to make the call.

Her date on Saturday night had been less than satisfactory. Rich Biggers was definitely tradesman class. He was nice enough, but the fact they had once been lovers definitely motivated his invitation. He hoped to pick up where they left off months ago. He’d called several times after their breakup but Meredith had just found out she would be invited to the Cynings’ and she had no time for anyone else. Perhaps she had felt sorry for herself when she accepted a date for the same night Hana would be out with Liam.

Even in the movie theater, Rich had been all hands, attempting to hold her, kiss her, and even pet. She had spent her time in the dark pushing him away until she got up and walked out. He rushed after her, apologizing for his bad behavior.

“The problem, Rich, is that your apology is only good until you have another opportunity. If any part of you is a gentleman, please take me back to my home.”

She had been angry with Liam when he became aggressive without her permission. But Rich was beneath her anger. She should have expected nothing less of him. He drove to her dormitory and she stopped him from getting out.

“Please don’t call again, Rich. We don’t have anything else to say to each other.” She’d marched straight to her room, took off her clothes, and put on pajamas and a dressing gown. It was as she sat at her desk dressed in this fashion that Hana had opened the door and she made eye contact with Liam. What he must have thought, seeing her in nightclothes!

She dressed in her riding clothes, even though it was difficult to drive with her boots on. She packed a bag with everything she might need, including overnight clothes and a fresh dress for the evening and another for morning. If Liam asked it of her, she would stay the night. Either in the guest room or with him. One thing being with Rich had taught her was that she cared deeply about Liam and would do anything for him. But she would leave the bag in her car just in case this was a short visit.

She rang at the door and it was opened promptly by Liam himself. She held her riding gloves in her left hand and Liam took her right, tugging her slightly into the hall and bowing over her hand to kiss her fingers. A chill ran down her spine. She knew Liam and knew he must be angry or unsure about last night. What was he playing at?

“Liam, I’m so happy to see you.”

“As am I to see you. Your smile fills my heart with joy. Ray has the horses saddled. Shall we go?”

“Wonderful.”

Liam chattered on about what a beautiful day it was and that he had spent the early afternoon currying the horses himself. It would only be another week before he returned to school and he wanted to make the most of his remaining vacation.

“Dear Meredith, that includes spending as much time with you as we can arrange. Will you vault into the saddle, use the mounting block, or take my offered hand?”

“I thank you for your offered hand. Please give me a lift.”

When they were mounted, Liam led the way to a different trail than the one they had previously ridden with Leonard trotting faithfully alongside.

As they ambled side by side, Meredith was crazy with anxiety and guilt. Why did she feel guilty about this? She would need to see people just like Liam did. And she had no fun on her date. Still, it felt wrong. She sympathized with Liam.

“My love, about last night. We really need to talk.”

Liam sighed. It was as if he’d been delaying this as well as he could.

“I am sorry. I did my best last night and Hana is a charming woman. I did not mean to kiss her with such ... fervor. I know I could have stopped her advance but I was lost in it. She had just told me that you were on a date at the same time we were and I was stunned with surprise when she closed on me and kissed me. I suppose there was some part of me that kissed her out of a sense of ... betrayal. Or perhaps even revenge. I am truly sorry.”

“Don’t blame yourself for the kiss. I hope you relaxed and enjoyed it. Hana can be a tantalizing woman. And you would not have felt betrayed or that you needed revenge if I had told you about my date in the first place. I should have done that but was afraid you would react negatively.”

“Oh, I did!” Liam looked quickly at Meredith and slid from his saddle. He went to her side and offered his hands to lift her down. She flowed into them willingly. He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a sure and confident hug. “I was invited to breakfast with my grandmother this morning. I’m afraid I vented all my anger in her presence. And then she set me straight. I admit I was insanely jealous, confused, and hurt. I might not be completely over that. But I know and understand the necessity. It is just as important for you to be seen with a variety of people as it is for me. It may even be important for you to choose an appropriate husband. I know this and I understand this. But in my heart, I am yours and you are mine.”

“Please know that in my heart, I am yours and you are mine.” Meredith turned to Liam as they walked and lifted her lips to kiss him. The kiss went on until both were breathless. They walked on, leading the horses. “Now for specifics. I thought I would simply go out and watch a movie. I’d have a good time and that would keep me from thinking of you and Hana together. The man who asked me out was a former lover. Former, Liam. Long before I came to your party. He thought we could pick up again where we left off. He was quite aggressive about it, attempting to take what I was not offering. I finally left the theater and put an end to my date. That’s why I was home in my dressing gown when you brought Hana home last night. I am so sorry I hurt you, Liam.”

“Thank you. And let us not think of that again. But Grandmother is correct. Anything you and I have together must be out of the public eye. I am sure people will know, but no one—including us—should speak of it. I will make this declaration to you though. I love you, Meredith Sauvage. I am certain of it and I am certain I shall remain in love with you for all time.”

“I pledge myself to you, Liam. Within the bounds of what our world requires of us, I will always be yours. We will have this until our dying days.”

The afternoon, with its frequent breaks for personal affirmation in the form of kisses, went by quickly. When they returned to the house, laughing all the way from the stable over a silly pun, Liam knelt before Meredith to remove her boots. He spent several minutes massaging her feet and ankles and, when she did not object, her calves. She fairly purred at the touch of his hands. She insisted on returning the gesture and he got to experience the sensation of a lover’s touch on his legs.

“Shall we go out for dinner?”

“I left my bag in the car.”

“Give me just a moment.” Liam stepped just around the corner and pulled the switch for Erich’s signal. He arrived in just a few moments. Hearing the situation, he immediately went to Meredith’s car and returned with Lupe and Meredith’s bag. Lupe conducted Meredith to the guest room and Liam went to his own with a pledge to be ready in an hour.

Meredith stepped into the shower to rinse the horse smell from her body and simply luxuriate in the hot water. She was filled with daydreams of Liam touching her. Her body tingled with the erotic thoughts and she wondered idly whether tonight might be the time for them to consummate their love. She discarded the notion, vowing to save that for a while yet to make sure he was truly ready and to convince herself that it was not merely her duty calling her to his bed.

At the appointed time, they met in the hall and left for dinner.

Understanding Societal Roles

“Rights or privileges? What are your expectations?” Dr. Parolini addressed her three students at an informal roundtable. For the past year, it was how most of Meredith’s classes were held. Some few were one-on-one with this instructor or that. Her classmates had been with her for eight years. Peggy Anne and Karen—the same girls who had been invited to Liam’s eighth birthday party. All three women had received a full scholarship and allowance to attend Green Hill. All knew they were being groomed as a mentor to royalty. They had all three been interviewed by Mrs. Cyning before Meredith was selected. Dr. Parolini continued.

“We all have basic rights: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. Our constitution guarantees certain other rights that fall in the category of civil liberties. But society gives privilege to some people and not to others. We all have equal rights, but not necessarily equal privileges. Privilege is afforded to those with rank, wealth, or class and it often comes with attendant responsibility. Now you three were chosen to train for an mentor role but are not of the same class. Meredith is servant class. Peggy Anne is artist class. Karen is professional class. Any one of you may make an excellent mentor but your privilege will not be the same.”

“Doctor Parolini, now that Meredith has been chosen, what is the likelihood that Peggy Anne and I will ever find a mentor role? We’ve known from the outset that the Cynings would choose one of us but we have never considered what will become of the other two.” Karen was the most outspoken of the three girls, focused on a career as a lawyer. She was advancing quite nicely through her studies and Meredith wondered how she would have responded to Liam now that they were older. When they were eight, they’d all been somewhat intimidated.

“That is a difficult question. You have the opportunity to have a career that has been afforded to you by your education. You might apply that to any number of things. Perhaps you would one day want to teach law. Or to become an adviser and mentor to a politico. It is not only royals who can use such guidance. Dear Peggy Anne has the very soul of an artist. But it remains to be seen as to whether she will fulfill her dream of becoming a concert pianist. It is a field far more competitive than becoming a lawyer. But she might also find a role in teaching her art or might become a mentor to any number of people who are soothed by music. And either of you might yet be called upon to mentor a royal. Liam Cyning is not the only one in the world.”

Dr. Parolini had worked with these young women for eight years. She was not much older than they were now when she began teaching. “I was also trained as a mentor. Sadly, the young woman I was brought to was a frail girl. She succumbed to a fever when she was just growing into her womanhood. Let me tell you that losing your disciple is an emotional tragedy I would wish on no one.” Meredith was shocked. Katherine had become much more than a professor to her. Meredith considered the woman her best friend.

“Dr. Parolini, how did you cope with it?” Meredith knew she was too deeply involved with Liam to ever recover. At least that was what she thought.

“I was invited to stay in the household and await the blossoming of a second child. But I chose to leave. I was brokenhearted. Everywhere I looked there were reminders of my precious Leah. I wandered for a year, simply traveling. I got my advanced degree in Social Studies and then I was contacted by this college and asked to mentor three bright young women. You three have made me very happy. I am so proud of all of you.”

“Dr. Parolini, I understand your grief, but what does this have to do with Rights, Privileges, and Expectations?” Peggy Anne seldom challenged her teachers but she did want to get to the point.

“Meredith, how do your rights compare to your disciple’s rights?”

“I believe our rights are the same. Isn’t that what you are getting at? Rights are guaranteed to all of us. I think that was why Liam was so confused about the revelation of the class structure. He felt that everyone had the same rights. And they do. But he thought his privilege was a right. He has more or different privileges than other people who have the same rights.”

“Very good. And I think you saw a change in him. That had to do with his expectations. He expected everyone to have the same privileges. A generous trait in a royal. In a laborer, that expectation might cause great frustration and anger. Your own expectations will play an important part in your happiness. You need to know your role and what privileges have been extended to you by a benefactor rather than either earned or yours by right.”

“Like our education.” Karen nodded her head as she spoke. “We were given a superior education. We were even given an allowance. We did not earn it. It was not our right to receive it. It was a privilege granted to us.”

“Very good. And what did you expect would come of that?”

“I suppose we all expected to become Liam’s mentor, even knowing only one person would be chosen.”

“Even that was not guaranteed. There are other people in other places who have also been trained as a mentor. Mrs. Cyning might have decided none of you were fit for the position. But she chose Meredith. Now I want to ask you to put your heads together and find this solution. What should Meredith’s expectations be now that she is attached to the Cyning household? And what should your expectations be now that you know you will not be attached to that household?”

The young women let the weight of that question sink in. Meredith understood better than most, she supposed. At least she knew many things she should not expect. The loss of those expectations—those fantasies—brought a tear to her eye.

“Meredith, please stay a moment.” Meredith returned to her seat at the table with Dr. Parolini. “We are going to graduate you. I believe it will be best if you begin at once at the university.”

“Isn’t it too late for me to get enrolled? Classes begin next week!”

“Arrangements have been made. Your tuition and expenses will continue to be covered. Your major task this term will be to find suitable housing. For yourself and your disciple. You will need to think carefully about what is suitable. Your quarters should be near but not the same. I have no doubt that by the time Liam matriculates to the university, you will be lovers. I laud your careful pacing but it is obvious by looking at you and from our previous discussions that you are very much in love with each other. However, Liam will need private quarters, both to keep you from being declared a couple and to entertain his other ... ah ... dates. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Katherine. I can’t say I am comfortable moving to the university, but it is certainly clear why it is necessary.”

“When you locate suitable housing, the Cynings will rent it or buy it—whichever is appropriate.”

“Katherine, it has come to me that I need an official place on the Cynings’ staff. I feel...”

“Discuss it with Herself when you see her next. I have no doubt that will be soon.” The two women stood from the table and Katherine moved around it to embrace her student. “I am very proud of you, Meredith. You have one of the most difficult and at the same time most rewarding jobs possible. You won’t become wealthy. What servant ever does? But you will be provided for. What other person of any class has that assurance?”

“It has many rewards. I have discovered a few. I will serve the family by serving the son. And that, frankly, is reward enough.”

“You should take this week to prepare for your move. Temporary housing will be available in the university dormitory. I don’t, however, believe that is the right place to stay. I’m very fond of you, Meredith. And very, very proud.”

Playing the Game

“Grandmother suggested we join her for tennis Saturday afternoon. Can you make it?” Their Tuesday morning phone call was well underway, having begun with murmured words of endearment by both of them. When Liam said, “I love you,” Meredith felt a warm flush come over her.

“I promised you the weekend. We will do whatever you want.” She blushed again at making such an open declaration.

“There are a great many things that I want,” Liam said. “But I promise to let you guide me when the time is right. You mentioned once that you didn’t play tennis. I wanted to make sure you were okay joining Grandmother. She is quite accomplished.”

“Well, I don’t often play, but I think I am proficient enough not to embarrass you.”

“Perhaps we should refresh you. Can you play this afternoon?”

Meredith looked at the box she had begun packing that morning. She didn’t really have much to take with her to the university but wanted to be sure her clothes were all neatly folded and packed. She should check out the dormitory at the university but that could wait until tomorrow.

“What time shall I be there?”

“Let’s play at two o’clock. That will give the midday meal a chance to settle before we run around.”

“Excellent. Perhaps we will have time for a walk afterward.”

“Yes, my love. I believe we will.”

“You’re what?” Hana returned from her morning class to find Meredith folding freshly laundered clothing and placing it carefully in a cardboard box.

“I’m moving to the university, dear Hana. I was only just informed yesterday but you were on a long shift at the hospital and this is the first chance I’ve had to tell you.”

“I can’t believe you’re leaving. Whatever shall I do without you?”

“I’m sure the college will have a new roommate for you in short order. You have been a treasure as a roommate. And I promise we will meet again soon.”

“I don’t know what I’ll do with another fifteen-year-old as my roommate. I suffered through my own teen years and then I had to suffer through yours. I don’t know that I can take the Sturm und Drang of yet another blossoming young woman.” They laughed and Hana began helping Meredith with her ironing as her young companion folded clothes. “I’m afraid that will dictate my future encounters with your friend Liam. I like him very much but we are definitely at different stages of our emotional growth and needs. I would almost have called him shy for the first two hours of our date. But let’s be honest, I’m at a stage of my dating where I would like something more than a perfect gentleman sitting quietly beside me. I thought he would never get around to kissing me.”

“Give him a little time. I find him to be interested in little else.”

“You’ve a special relationship with him. I’m sorry you have to go through this process of fixing him up with someone else. It must be very difficult.”

“It has been most difficult getting him to agree with it. His grandmother had a stern talk with him Sunday morning, however. He seems to have made an adjustment. We will have plenty of opportunity as well. He is just coming to understand that there are different types of relationships.”

“Well, if he calls in a week or two, I’ll be happy to go out with him once again, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep my hands off the merchandise. I haven’t had a lover in six months.”

“The problem is that you need a gentleman who can be as devoted to you as you are to medicine.”

“What an interesting idea. I know very few religious people who are also happily married. The devotion to the calling tends to curtail relationships.”

“Perhaps you could find another religious who is called to take care of you.”

Meredith arrived at Buxton House promptly at two o’clock. Lupe met her as she parked her car and immediately took her clothing bag. Meredith carried her own tennis racquet. Lupe held the door for her and Liam met her in the entrance hall. As soon as Lupe was out of the way, Liam softly kissed Meredith. Then he stood back and looked at her.

“Is there something wrong with the way I’m dressed?” Meredith had taken great pains to be sure she was correctly dressed for tennis. She wore a sleeveless white blouse and a short white skirt over her tennis shorts. She wore white socks and freshly whitened tennis shoes. She thought she looked rather smart. Liam was also dressed in white with shorts and a knit shirt.

“You’re just. So beautiful. I ... Your ... legs ... You will make it difficult for me to focus on the game.” Meredith blushed, the pink in her cheeks contrasting with the white of her shirt.

“You’re too kind, Liam. Please, let us quickly go to the tennis court so you can help me with my serve.”

Until Liam called it to her attention, Meredith had not considered the fact that her legs had always been covered to below her knees and when she wore a skirt, she always wore hose. She suddenly felt very ... exposed. While it was embarrassing, it was also somehow stimulating to have Liam looking at and appreciating her legs.

Once they were on the tennis court, they settled into the game. Perhaps Meredith was marginally better at tennis than she had let on. She had been taught at school as a normal part of her curriculum to ride, play tennis, and golf. Soon they progressed from instruction to playing a game and enjoying the sense of competition in the sport.

“Have you still enough energy to take a walk? That was a fairly brisk workout. You are either a natural at tennis or you tried to deceive me and have played a great deal.”

“Well, Green Hill requires students to learn several different sports and social activities, like dancing. But we are always told that if we do not devote ourselves to the activity, we will never excel. I simply assumed that meant I was no match for anyone who played regularly.” Meredith hooked her hand through Liam’s arm as they walked away from the sports court and toward the woodland trail. When she was certain they were out of sight she slid her hand down to take his.

“I’m going to the university.” Her simple statement hung in the air between them.

“When?”

“Monday. While you are settling in for the fall term at Elenchus, I will be learning the ins and outs of a new environment as well.” She leaned slightly against him as they walked.

“That’s wonderful. When I get there in January, you’ll be able to show me the ropes. I thought you were returning to Green Hill.”

“I was told on Monday that I could matriculate to the university. I would like to continue my social studies and have gone as far as Green Hill can take me. It will be a good opportunity. And it is true that I could help get you acclimated when you arrive. Do you mind that terribly?”

“Mind it? My mind has jumped to the possibilities of us both being at the same school. Practically living together.”

“Would you like that, Liam?” Meredith stopped along the trail and pulled him around to face her.

“Meredith, you must know by now how you affect me. To wake up each morning to your smile is my dream.”

“Ah ... You should modify your dream somewhat. I am seldom smiling when I wake up. So, imagine me near but not with you until I’ve had a chance to awaken my smile for you.”

“Yes. I suppose we will need to maintain the fiction we are not a couple. Do you know how difficult that is, my dear?” Meredith raised her lips to his and answered with a kiss that slowly deepened. They held each other in the depths of the forest and let the world disappear.

“One thing being at the university will mean is that I can find more appropriate dates for you. I’m afraid the selection at Green Hill, for all it is a girls’ finishing school, is narrow when it comes to girls appropriate for you.” Meredith took his hand and they continued on their walk.

“Here is my pledge then. Meredith Sauvage, I will date others as my class dictates, but I will never do more with another than I do with you. You shall be my first in all things.” Meredith sighed and leaned toward him more firmly as they walked.

Leonard interrupted their reverie just as they stopped to kiss again. His sharp bark drew their attention. He paced back and forth across the path ahead of them herding them back the way they had come.

“What is it, boy?” Liam asked. Leonard kept them moving back down the trail, constantly looking over his shoulder at the area they had been. From a distance they heard a snarl and brush moving. Leonard no longer needed to herd them as they turned and hurried their steps back toward the sports courts.

They picked up their racquets and headed to the house where Erich met them.

“Erich, it seems there is a wildcat loose in our woods. Leonard would like to go hunting but I suspect it is just passing through on a fall migration. Nonetheless, it would be wise to notify Ray in the stables. He’ll want to keep an eye on the horses.”

“Indeed, Mr. Cyning. I will take care of it. Miss? Lupe will show you to your room and be available for you. Sir, cook has prepared a treat and hopes you will both stay to dinner this evening.”

“What fun. We’ll be delighted.”

Meredith tried not to visit Liam every day, though they talked frequently. She did have work to do and couldn’t drop everything all the time. She went to the university and registered for her fall classes. She received a room assignment in the dormitory and checked to see how much space she had. Unlike her dormitory apartment shared with Hana, she would sleep in a single bed across the room from her roommate. The dormitory apartments at Green Hill had sleeping rooms separated by a common study area and shared bath. Just seeing this room made Meredith feel that her privacy had been stripped away. But seeing the room made her determined to have apartments for herself and Liam before the end of the year.

She took most of her personal items home. It was amazing how three years in the same apartment had allowed her to collect so much. She carefully separated out the clothing she would take to the university from what would be hung in her bedroom at home. She could foresee that she would often need to come to her parents’ house when a date required special clothing. She determined not to bother ‘decorating’ the temporary quarters, as she referred to the dormitory.

By the time Saturday rolled around, she had moved all her belongings out of her shared room with Hana and was ready to move what she was taking to the university. But first, she packed her overnight bag, including night clothes, day clothes, evening clothes, and even her riding clothes. She felt that no matter what Liam suggested, she would be prepared. The bag was considerably heavier than she normally carried.