Chapter 4

“We sort of need to talk about the weird, preachy part,” I said.

“Why?” she moaned.

“Because you’re my sister, Cat. It was incest. If anybody found out, they’d arrest me and we’d probably never get to see each other again. Our parents would be devastated. It’s a big deal, Cathy!”

“I know all that, you idiot,” she snapped. “I’m not an imbecile.”

“Well pardon me for being worried about it,” I said, all snarky-like.

“Okay, you can worry. But I’m not going to worry, because I know how to be careful and keep a secret!“ she hissed.

“You don’t get it,” I said, my voice intense. “While you were gone, all I could think about was wanting to do it again, and how if any guy ever puts a finger on you I’ll have to kill him and bury his body in the woods somewhere. I kept thinking of how fantastic it would be to be able to sleep with you all night and stuff like that. You may not be scarred for life, but I sure am!“

“Finally,” she said.

I blinked.

“Finally what?” I asked.

“Finally you say something I can agree with.”

I blinked some more.

“Which part?” I asked.

“I’m fine with you wanting to kill any guy who touches me. You can’t actually kill them, but I’m happy that you want to. I’ll have to keep going out on dates, because it would look weird if I didn’t. I can get away with not having a boyfriend. I can blame that on Dad. But I have to at least go on dates. You won’t have to worry, though, because the only guy who has touching-Cathy-rights is you. I’d love it if you could sleep with me all night, except that you snore and the bed isn’t big enough. But I love it that you want to do that.”

“Cathy,” I moaned. “We can’t keep doing that.”

“Of course we can,” she said. “That’s our business and nobody else’s. Nobody’s going to know. We can’t sleep together every night, but we can make love, sometimes. And we’re going to make love, Bobby. You don’t get to do that to me, and make me feel that way, and then just take it away. You don’t get to do that, Bobby!“

She had taken another step towards me and her right hand had formed into a claw. I imagined that claw fastening onto my balls, ripping them off my body and I covered my crotch with both hands.

“Okay!” I blurted. It was purely defensive, but I said it.

“Okay?” She required confirmation. And, after everything she’d said, it was obvious that she wasn’t going to let it go. In a sense, I felt relief, because half the problem wasn’t really a problem. It was like I had stepped on somebody’s toe and said, “Ooops, I’m so sorry!” and the person said, “Doesn’t matter. I’m wearing steel-toed shoes.”

“Okay,” I said. “But we still have to talk about this.”

“We are talking about this,” she sighed, like she was talking to a five-year-old.

“Right,” I said.

“Now,” she went on, “about this period thing.”

I stopped her with a hand gesture.

“I’m over that. The internet says it has tons of likes.”

She gaped at me.

“While you were gone I did some surfing. Believe it or not, there are people who say menstrual sex is great for lots of reasons.”

“Eww,” she said. It was an abbreviated eww, though, like she felt obligated to say it, but didn’t really feel it all that much.

“Wait a minute,” I said. “Last night you were telling me it was no big deal.”

“You were freaking out,” she said.

“I was,” I admitted. “But I’m not anymore. Remember how you said you didn’t cramp? They talked about that online. A lot of women like having menstrual sex because it eases their cramps.”

“Really?”

“Didn’t you call that a bonus?”

“You were freaking out,” she said. “I was trying to calm you down. I didn’t actually know having sex would do that.”

“Well, I’m calm now. Except for the incest thing.”

“Do you love me?” she asked.

I blinked. I wasn’t used to talking about this stuff.

“Do you?” she insisted.

“Yes,” I said. It felt odd saying that to the girl I had been in competition with for years, but at the same time I felt so giddy that I thought I might float up in the air. “Yes!” I repeated.

“I feel something for you that I’ve never felt for another human being,” she said. “Why do you think I let you put it in me?”

“It doesn’t feel like you let me do anything,” I said. “It still feels like I raped you.”

“I told you, you didn’t rape me,” she groaned.

“Okay, then, what happened?”

“So you really can’t remember? I don’t get it,” she said.

“It’s true. What is there to get?”

“We talked and you got boners for me and I got to look at you and we were naked together. And you groped me and fingered me. We even talked about having sex, and about Crystal and David and you don’t remember doing it?”

“I honestly think I went crazy for a little bit,” I said. “I remember kissing you and feeling like I was suddenly in an alternate reality, and then I remember being in you and moving and realizing what was going on, but between the kissing and the being in you part is a big empty blur.”

“I remember all of it,” she sighed.

“Well share, then,” I moaned.

She looked at me.

“We started kissing, and it was amazing. I’ve kissed a lot of boys, but it was never like that. I felt like you might inhale me, somehow. And you sucked my nipples and I thought I was going to pee, it felt so good. Then there was more kissing and you got on top of me and you were kissing me and kind of trying to fuck me, you know, moving your hips that way, except you weren’t in me. So I opened my legs and let you rub all against me down there, but you still didn’t go in me, so I reached and found your cock. It was so strange, because somehow I knew right where to put it, and I did that, and you went all the way in me in like half a second. I couldn’t breathe for a few seconds, but it didn’t hurt or anything. I was just kind of shocked, you know? But it felt fantastic. It was like you went from rubbing all over the outside with your cock, to rubbing all over the inside with it. And I started to breathe again and you were going crazy, pumping really fast. It takes me ages to cum when I rub myself, but with your cock in me and your whole body rubbing, I came so fast it made me dizzy. And then you groaned and I felt this delicious ball of warmth inside me, and I got confused because I thought you were shooting, but then I realized my period had started. It never started like that before. It was weird.”

“I sucked your nipples?” I asked, trying hard to remember doing that.

“A lot. I love that so much.”

“And you put it in you?”

“Uh huh. The first time I touched it was to put it in me. That was weird, too. It felt really different than it looks.”

“I remember kind of coming to, and realizing I was in you and was fucking you,” I said. “But before that, all I remember is kissing you.”

“You must have done stuff by instinct,” she said. “You were definitely trying to fuck before I put you in me. That felt good, too, but I knew I had to have more.”

“Because David and Crystal did more,” I suggested.

“No, you idiot. Because I wanted to do more.”

“With me,” I sighed.

“Yeah, well, I guess you weren’t the only one who went crazy.”

We took a break to fix lunch. My restlessness was gone. It was too obvious that Cathy was okay, and not warped in any way by what had happened. I also felt a lot better, knowing for sure I hadn’t forced anything. I was a little freaked out that she had put me in her. Okay, freaked out isn’t the right word. I guess excited is a better description. I got hard while we were making sandwiches, as I watched her move around. I got really hard. I started thinking about telling her I was hard, and wondering how she would react. Would she drop her sandwich and say, “Let’s go!” and take me back to her bedroom for some hot sex? Or would she just smile and think about how much she owned me right now. She could use sex to get me to do anything in the world, because I would do anything in the world if she’d let me have sex with her again.

She was halfway through her sandwich, and mine only had one bite out of it when I realized how preoccupied I was with all this. My bite of ham and cheese sandwich was just mush in my mouth. I swallowed and looked at her. She was examining her sandwich, deciding where to take the next bite. Suddenly her eyes swung over to pin their stare to mine.

“You’ve got a boner, don’t you,” she said. It wasn’t a question.

I swallowed again. It wouldn’t do any good to lie. This was a new Cathy, a Cathy I was no longer sure how to read. She might actually come over and feel the front of my pants. I nodded.

She grinned.

“This is so cool. I give my big brother boners!”

“You’re not supposed to be happy about that,” I pointed out.

She sat back.

“How old am I?”

“Fifteen,” I responded.

“Normally, I’d remind you I’m closer to sixteen than fifteen,” she said, “but let’s go with fifteen. So I have four years of school left, and then four years of college before I can start thinking about finding some guy to fall in love with and get married and all that. That’s eight years of not having sex with anybody who might misunderstand what that means and get all clingy and all that. Before last night, that meant not having sex at all for the next eight years. You, however, have made my life a lot brighter, because now I do have somebody to have sex with for the next eight years.”

“If we have sex for eight years I’ll get you pregnant two or three times,” I groaned.

“Not if we’re careful.”

“Careful how?”

“Well, we could have safe sex right now, for example,” she said.

If I hadn’t already been hard, it would have happened in three seconds.

“You want to help me pick out a dress for my next date?”

“That won’t be for a whole week,” I pointed out.

“So, I get ready early,” she said.

“Do you want to?” I asked. I knew what I meant. Did she?

“Oh, I want to,” she sighed. She pinched her nipples through her shirt.

She did know.

I was to find out that “helping her pick a dress” now meant getting naked together. It was kind of funny, in one sense, because she had way better control over her body than I did over mine. Take for example how, as soon as she got into her room, she just stripped naked and did a little pose for me, with this half-smile on her lips. The way she took off her clothes made it look like they just fell off of her.