Chapter 1

“I need a dick.”

The statement resounded throughout the luxurious room. Or rather, what was once a luxurious room. Most of the extravagant furniture had been shoved into a corner, leaving only a bed and nightstand to take up most of the cavernous room.

The speaker, a gorgeous woman in tight clothes, sighed, sinking further into her chair. She was tall, white haired, with gleaming blue eyes and a messy haircut. Her clothes were of fine make, if somewhat used and modified, speaking of someone who preferred practicality over looks.

Sitting on a mound of cushions in the corner, the succubus yawned and replied.

“You do.”

“See, even you agree with me. How can it be so hard to get laid? It’s not my figure or my face, that’s for sure.”

She was right on that. Blessed with bountiful hips, straining breasts and a perfect face, she was a sight to behold. Muscles were visible on her and and her belly was fit and toned. Neither were to the degree where they became too obvious, lending a well toned and taut look to her already perfect body.

Again, the succubus sighed.

“No, it’s not, Keralia. It might, however, be who you are.”

Kera slumped even further at that and groaned.

“Don’t remind me. Save the damn world one little time, and every dick in sight starts tuckering up when you walk past.”

“That just might be because you, quite brutally, eviscerated The Demon, dear.” The succubus smiled at that. “And saved me in the process. So, no matter how many dicks ‘tucker up’, you will always have me.”

Kera perked up just a bit at that, then slumped back down.

“Don’t get me wrong, Val, your tongue is great and all, but it doesn’t match a dick.”

A shrug was her only reply.

“Only so much a girl can do, Kera.”

“I know, I know. I still want that dick, though.”

Kera groaned, rubbing her sore ass. There was only so much riding a person could take. Some people rode horses and enjoyed it. She did not.

And yet, here she was, days away from civilization, all by herself, on another Divine Quest. Well, not really a full-blown quest, but a personal favor to Arritakmu, Goddess of Joy.

There was something in the mountains that had been troubling the Goddess, and she had called upon her most experienced Champion to investigate. Around her, golden fields slowly gave way to rocky hills, then to the Dragon’s Teeth, a gigantic mountain range. In her ten years of fighting, she’d never been here, although she had passed a few times in the distance.

She’d started young, barely at fifteen summers when she’d set off, following the voice of the Goddess as she began her fight against the Darkness. And ten winters later, here she stood, having saved the world. Everyone had expected some young farmboy to spring up at the last moment and save everything. But, no it had been the daughter of well-to-do merchant that had taken on the task.

She smiled, thinking back at the journey. It had been long and harsh, fraught with danger and lost companions, but they had done it. The result was a world at relative peace. Well, except for the usual bickering between Kings and kingdoms. Even that had been brought to a stop when half a pantheon had descended from the skies and told the rulers of each land that, on no uncertain terms they would be destroyed if they broke the peace in any way.

To no one’s surprise, they had put aside their egos and complied. Oh, they were pouty and sulking about it, but they had the common sense not to try anything. Although, they had descended for a second time in Chambrane and told the king that trying to lure others into breaking the truce counted as well.

Looking back at the horse, who’s name she had promptly forgotten once he had tried to buck her, she groaned. More riding. She hated riding. Why couldn’t she just have asked for wings or something as her reward?

There was a village. Of course there was a village. It wasn’t on the maps, no one had ever talked about it, but it was still there. She walked ahead of Nag, leading him with the reins in a deathgrip as she walked up the rocky trail, sun roasting down on her back.

Even up here, it was hot. Wasn’t the air supposed to get colder the higher up she went? Or maybe she wasn’t up high enough.

Ahead of her, a large village, or maybe a small town, was in plain view. From what she saw, it had no organized structure, with buildings made of wood spread everywhere. There was one in the center, much larger than the others. Only a handful of actual roads were there and they either led out, like the one she was on, or into the mountains.

This was going to be fun.

The next few hours played out just liked she’d predicted. Find a villager, try to get directions to the current residence of the head honcho. Find another villager and reaffirm those directions. Curse first villager for lying. Try to find said head honcho. Run around village, with that horse laughing at her (she saw it in it’s eyes). Finally find out that head honcho was in the caves behind the village.

Follow crumbly little dirt trail behind village into the mountains, and finally, hours later, find the cave.

Someday, she’d find a village where everything went smoothly. Someday.