Chapter 77: Sex Ed?

December 13, 2000, Greater Cincinnati, Ohio

After I left Rutherford, I called Donna’s house and caught her before she had to leave for work. We agreed to meet for lunch after my meeting with Doctor Mercer. After I hung up, I followed Route 50 from Rutherford to downtown Cincinnati, parked in a garage on Vine Street, then walked to the building which housed the offices of van Hoek, Mills, & Rice.

“Steve Adams to see Ben van Hoek,” I said to the pretty brunette behind the reception desk.

“Hi, Mr. Adams! Mr. van Hoek, Ms. Mills, and Ms. Rice are expecting you! Just go through the door to my right and walk all the way to the end of the hall. Mr. van Hoek is in the corner office.”

“Thanks, Anne,” I said, reading the name plate on the reception desk.

“You’re welcome. If you need anything just dial 00!”

“Thanks again!”

She buzzed me through the door and I walked down a long hall to a corner office with a view of the Ohio River and the stadiums. Despite having given up on baseball, I was singularly unhappy with the demise of Riverfront Stadium, and none-too-pleased that the new stadium was set to carry a corporate name. I flashed back to the wonderful times I’d had at the old ballpark, and the great things which had happened there.

“Morning, Ben!” I said from the door to his large, well-appointed office.

“Steve! Come on in! How are you?”

We shook hands heartily.

“Good,” I replied. “How are things here?”

“Good, in general. I hear from Deborah you’re having some trouble with my former partners.”

“Just a bit, but my sister and Liz are handling it. I’m doing my best to be more coder than executive, but I’m not always successful.”

“I know how THAT goes. We have an office manager, but it seems like there’s always something I need to attend to. How is the family?”

“Everything is good. Jesse’s hockey team is fighting for first place; Matthew has landed some starring roles in plays and is singing in the choir when he has the time; Michael’s robotics team has won a competition; Albert is learning to fly...”

“Hang on! He’s what? Ten?”

“Eleven. One of my Navy friends is teaching him to fly. It doesn’t count for hours or anything like that, but he has flown cross-country. He uses his flight simulator setup all the time. He’s also busy with Scouts. The girls are focused on karate and their little girl gangs. Kara and Jess are both doing really well. How’s your side?”

“Becky and Andy are doing great, and the grandkids are awesome. It’s so nice to be able to hand them back when they’re fussy or misbehave!”

“I have a few years before the grandkids start arriving in waves,” I said. “But I’m looking forward to that.”

“Most parents do. What brings you to town?”

“A checkup with my therapist,” I said. “I haven’t seen her in some time. I’m also seeing my dad and Joyce, plus all of you.”

“If you go out of my office and down the short hall, the first door on your right is the nursery.”

“Nursery?” I asked.

“Deborah and Krissy are in Deborah’s office with John and James. Come back and see me after you talk to them. Jocelyn is in the corner office past the break room.”

“Thanks.”

I left his office and went down the hall to another well-appointed office, though it wasn’t as large as Ben’s.

“Any ‘cousins’ around?” I asked from the door.

“Uncle Steve!” John and James exclaimed, rushing to me.

I scooped them up, one in each arm.

“Wow, you guys are getting big!”

“I’m two!” John exclaimed.

“Me, too!” James added.

“Hey, Steve,” Deborah said.

“Hi!”

“Hi, Steve,” Krissy added.

I put the boys down and hugged Deborah and Krissy, and got a quick peck from each of them.

“How are things at Cirque du Steve Sud?”

“Not quite as crazy as the home base, but we’re working on it! You heard Connie had her baby, right?”

“No, That must have happened in the past two weeks.”

“Last Wednesday. A baby boy named Anthony Joseph. I guess you haven’t talked to Joyce?”

“Not since I made plans to come down here. I was at Mayo and wasn’t in the office.”

“Liz told me,” Deborah replied. “OK to talk?”

“Sure, Krissy can hear it. The kids won’t repeat something random?”

“They won’t. How are you?”

“OK at the moment. Did Liz tell you why she sent me home?”

“Yes. I think I’m the only one who knows besides Liz and anyone you’ve told. Does that include Joyce and your dad?”

“They don’t know, either. I’m keeping this close to the vest for the moment, I think I messed myself up with the trip to South America - changed sleeping patterns and not following my diet the way I should have. The recovery period was a lot longer than usual, and it was accompanied by a hypomanic episode. That seems to have passed now, but...”

“They can come one after the other or there can be a long lull,” Deborah said, “or you can have a period of depression. Liz was right to send you home. I’d have done the same thing.”

“You and Liz are both more than just lawyers to me. That’s why I used the term Consigliere - you know, like an advisor, and very important to the family.”

“If you call me ‘Kay’ you’re going to need a doctor, not an attorney!” Deborah said with a laugh.

“Actually, wouldn’t that be me?” Krissy asked. “You know all about ALL of his business, or at least you implied you did.”

“True!” Deborah replied.

“You aren’t teaching today?” I asked Krissy.

“An afternoon class. I’ll take the munchkins to Mama Grossi before I head to campus.”

“She’s still going strong.”

“That’s because neither God nor the Devil want her anywhere near their place!” Deborah said. “That said, we’ve talked to Joyce about getting someone to come in to help out. Mama Grossi is resisting, but she can’t do as much as she used to be able to do.”

I nodded, “It comes with the territory. That said, I still haven’t met a better cook in my life.”

“Us either!” Krissy replied. “Are you seeing Amelia and Joseph?”

“No. They’re coming up to Chicago during Christmas break so I’ll see them then. You guys are staying here, right?”

“Yes. Our parents are coming to Cincinnati. It’s like with your kids’ grandparents.”

“That makes sense. Jake’s parents are in Wisconsin, so he and Joyce will take the kids there after they stop in to see us, and then they’ll come back for the New Year’s party.”

“OK to talk a bit of shop?”

“Sure.”

“Krissy will stay here with the boys and we can go to Jocelyn’s office.”

Deborah and I left her office and headed down the hall past the break room to a corner office which was the same size as Ben’s, but clearly showed a more feminine touch.

“Hi, Steve!” Jocelyn said hopping up from her desk.

I moved to her because I knew her hips weren’t in great shape. We exchanged a chaste hug and a ‘society’ kiss.

“How are the hips?” I asked.

“Ready for replacement in about a year. It’s mostly a matter of timing. I want to make sure I can make the trip my husband and I have planned to Russia next summer.”

“You have Lyudmila’s contact information, right?”

“Of course. I’ll get in touch with her, and with her dad, given you’ve made the introductions.”

“Moscow and St. Petersburg, right?”

“Yes.”

“I enjoyed both cities. How are things here?”

“Liz talked to us last week and I have to say I agree with her analysis. There is no way you can get that information into the Bar Association’s hands short of a court order or managing to get it into the public record at a trial. And even if you managed to get it into a trial as evidence, they’d move to have the details sealed.”

“But wouldn’t the judge be able to refer them?”

“That’s tricky, and most likely wouldn’t happen given how long ago it was, and because it was settled with an NDA. About the only trick you could use would be to use it as ‘unclean hands’ evidence and force it into open court in front of a jury. But to do that, EB would need to sue you, and it would have to be relevant to whatever it was they were suing over. That’s basically why they dropped the last suit. To put it bluntly, they’re pricks and there isn’t much you can do about it except keep your knees pressed tightly together so they don’t screw you!”

“Wonderful,” I replied, suppressing a sigh.

“From our perspective, they’re not doing anything which could be considered unfair competition, even if it is unfair. Do you get my meaning?”

“Yes. Making the legal case for that requires a set of circumstances which don’t exist. They’d either have to be breaking some other law or be in a monopoly position. The fact that they’re smaller than we are allows them a lot of leeway, not to mention the fact that there’s strong competition.”

“Exactly. We’ll keep our eyes on them, obviously, but you’re going to have to weather this storm and beat them on the playing field.”

“Oh, I know,” I sighed.

“There is one area of concern I raised with Liz, Stephanie, and Cindi, and that’s providing assistance in migration without the customer paying EB for migration services.”

“Why?”

“Do you know about the Digital Millennium Copyright Act?”

“How the heck can that cause trouble? I read it and the Supreme Court ruling in MAI v Peak was codified.”

“There is a theory that it applies to decrypting ANY data for ANY purpose without a license to do so. That hasn’t been tested in court yet, nor have any charges been filed in the US. There is a lot of speculation around DeCSS, because of DVD Jon in Norway. I take it you heard his home was raided?”

“It’s bogus, because all he did was demonstrate how to remove the copy protection. That shouldn’t be an issue; dissemination of the material should be. And civil, not criminal.”

“Before the DMCA, I’d say you were spot on. We don’t think that’s the case. We talked with Megan at FJF in Los Angeles, and she generally agrees that it’s very likely we’ll see a prosecution for removing encryption. If it goes the way we fear, not only could YOU not decrypt the data, but you couldn’t tell the customer how to do it.”

“I cannot believe that there is ANY possible way that it could be criminal for me to decrypt my own data! Or do so for a customer as their agent, for that matter,” I protested.

“We don’t think that’s the case, but if you created the software or the instructions or came up with a decryption key somehow, that might be a violation.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” I sighed. “Now I know why EB is doing this the way they are. They think that’s the case, and they think that gives them permanent lock-in on the threat of civil damages and criminal prosecution if you don’t pay what amounts to ransom.”

“Yes,” Jocelyn said.

“It’s too bad the Feds locked up all the Chicago Outfit guys,” I said, shaking my head.

“But who are you going after? EB? Volstead and Braun? The politicians who passed the legislation?”

I chuckled, “Don’t give me any ideas!”

“Far be it from us to suggest ANY criminal activity,” Deborah said.

“So, the bottom line is, EB found a legal way to fuck their own customers. Have you told Cindi this?”

“Yes. She’s working with Stephanie, Liz, and your Regional VPs to come up with a way of explaining to customers what they’re risking. We have to be VERY careful not to suggest any criminal intent.”

“But we CAN suggest they’re assholes, right?”

“In so many words, yes, so long as it’s true,” Jocelyn replied.

“Tell me it’s not!” I demanded.

“Oh, I can’t. You know what happened between Ben and those guys and why.”

“I do. Just once I’d like to see a competitor actually compete properly instead of being underhanded!”

“I thought your two main competitors played nice.”

“Oh, they do,” I admitted. “But BLS, Lone Star, and EB have all shown me just how ugly business can be.”

“Is Steve Adams calling for regulation?” Deborah mocked.

“No,” I chuckled, “because that ties my hands more than it does theirs. I can trace this all back to Jamie’s advice to settle and sign the NDA.”

“Which was exactly the right thing to do,” Jocelyn said firmly. “They’d have tied you up in court for years, and you might not have gotten anything at all from it and it would have cost you a fortune.”

“I know. Any OTHER good news?”

“Everything else seems to be humming on all cylinders from a legal perspective,” Deborah said. “Liz has things well in hand.”

“Cool. I’m going to go back and spend some time with Ben before I head to lunch with my dad and Joyce.”

“It was good to see you again,” Jocelyn said. “Will I see you at the User Group meeting?”

“That’s the plan; it’s in Chicago this year, so that makes it easy.”

Jocelyn and I exchanged another chaste hug and ‘society’ kiss, then Deborah and I went back to her office so I could say ‘goodbye’ to Krissy and the boys. Once they’d left, Deborah closed the door to her office.

“How are things on a personal level?” she asked.

“I’m doing OK. I underestimated the emotional effects of losing Maria Cristina and Liz almost back-to-back. I mean, they aren’t gone, but you know what I mean.”

“I do. I know you don’t do ‘What if?’ or speculate about things in the past, but she’s the one you should be married to. And before you protest, I know it’s an issue of timing, given your age difference.”

“Considering she was ten when I got married, that’s kind of an understatement!”

“That said, I don’t think you can name a girl other than Jennifer you’re more in love with than Liz.”

“I can’t argue with you, but it’s different from my love for Kara and Jess. Or for you, for that matter.”

Deborah smiled, “Thanks. How are your extracurricular activities?”

“More frequent than usual. It may have been the hypomanic episode, but that’s gone away and it seems like opportunities are popping out of the woodwork!”

Deborah laughed, “Is that a problem?”

“It can be if it’s a product of a manic or hypomanic episode.”

“How bad?”

“Thirteen this year, with a potential for fourteen.”

“A bit higher than average, but if you take into account the preceding two-and-a-half years, it’s actually low.”

“That is one way to look at it,” I said.

“And it’s been cyclical, right? There are times when there are quite a few in a short time, then periods when there aren’t any.”

“Also true. Did you run stats?”

“Liz did,” Deborah laughed. “And she shared.”

“Of course she did!” I chuckled. “I suppose I should update her on the numbers from after she came aboard.”

“Mind if I pry? The fourteenth?”

“You remember the ‘sex lessons’ girl? Her cousin.”

Deborah laughed softly, “So word of mouth strikes again.”

“Yes.”

“OK. I’ll let you get back to Ben. We’ll see you sometime in the spring.”

“Sounds good!”

We hugged and she gave me a soft kiss, after which I left her office and went back to Ben’s office. We spent an hour doing the rest of our catching up, and talking a bit about business, though he wasn’t directly involved in the cases because Jocelyn was managing them. We said ‘goodbye’ about 11:15am and I left to head to Joyce’s office which was about six blocks away.

“Hi, Steve!” Nancy Blanchard exclaimed when I walked in.

“Hi, Mom!” I grinned.

She quickly got up from her desk and we hugged.

She laughed, “You only call me that when you’re being goofy! You must be in a good mood.”

“I am. How are things?”

“Fantastic. I spoke to Kara last week. Paul and I will be up to see the grandkids during Christmas break. It’ll be the usual madhouse, I’m sure!”

“With so many sets of grandparents and all of our friends who visit, that’s for sure!”

“Joyce is on the phone, but she’s expecting you. Just have a seat.”

“Thanks.”

It was less than thirty seconds later when Joyce came out of her office and we exchanged a hug and a soft kiss.

“Oh sure,” Nancy teased. “SHE gets a kiss like that!”

I laughed, “Do you REALLY want one?”

“I think I’ll pass. That would be what the kids are calling ‘creepy’ these days.”

“True!”

“Ready to go?” Joyce asked.

“Absolutely.”

We said ‘goodbye’ to Nancy who got another hug but not a kiss, and then we left the office to walk to the diner where we’d meet my dad, which was about two blocks away.

“How are things?”

“OK.”

“Bullshit! You don’t disappear from the office for two weeks for nothing.”

“How about we wait until we’re with my dad?” I asked.

“How bad is this?”

“I don’t know how to answer that question without a full explanation. We have one block before we get to the diner. Keep your skirt on!”

Joyce laughed, “That has to be the first time in history you ever told a girl to keep her clothes ON!”

“I’m sure there was at least ONE time in the past twenty-three years! And it’s not like you’re actually going to take yours off for me!”

“You know all you have to do is ask, but we both know you won’t, and why, and that we both know that’s the right thing to do, so we don’t.”

“That sentence should be taken out and shot!”

“You know what I meant! We’re still attracted to each other, but Jake isn’t open-minded enough to accept it.”

“Speak for yourself!” I said flatly.

“That’s as much bullshit as you saying you’re fine, and you know it!”

“All kidding aside, there is something VERY strange going on. I mean, Nancy NEVER teased me like that before! Ever! And you haven’t flirted that way recently. And there have been other offers that seem to appear with no warning.”

“Pheromones?” Joyce asked. “There was a study in the 80s that showed that androstenone had a galvanic effect on skin, and that it has much more significant effects around ovulation. You are virile and were certainly very fertile.”

“But if I understand how pheromones actually work,” I replied, “we don’t have a functional organ to detect them. It’s only sweat or other secretions we smell that affect us.”

“I’m not sure exactly what that study did; I only know about it because of an article I read a couple of years ago. But I’ve always loved how you smell, and I don’t just mean your soap or deodorant. I’m sure others have said the same thing.”