Chapter 6: Making Common Cause

March 17, 2000, Apple Orchard Bed-and-Breakfast near Montpelier, Vermont

“KATY!” I squealed.

“BIRGIT!” she squealed back.

My dad and moms laughed, and I ran to Katy for a hug. She scooped me up, gave each other a peck on the lips, and then she put me down so I could hug Davey.

“Hi, Birgit!” Davey said.

“Hi!”

We hugged and he kissed me, too. Then I hugged Amy. I saw Dad hug Katy, and wondered if they were going to have sex again. I could ask Katy because she’d tell me. We shared all kinds of girl secrets and she was the only person who knew everything I wrote in my journal. I called her about once a month to talk, but it was better to be here, and even better when I was here during the summer for a whole week without my parents, aunts, and uncles.

“Steve, Tom, Kurt, bring the bags in,” Katy called to my dad and uncles. “You have your usual rooms, so just take the bags right up. Then we’ll give you a tour of the addition, which is actually bigger than the original house!”

“Drill Sergeants have nothing on that woman,” Uncle Tom muttered.

“I heard that, Tom Quinn!” Katy said trying to sound annoyed but she was smiling.

“To run this zoo she HAS to have that kind of demeanor,” Uncle Kurt said. “Can you imagine having forty houseguests every day for the entire year?”

“Can I take my bag to your room, Katy?” I asked.

“Yes. Davey, go with Birgit, please.”

“Yes, Mom!” he replied.

I got my pink roll-along suitcase from my dad and pulled it into the house. I had to push down the handle so I could carry it up the two flights of stairs to get to Katy’s room where she had a roll-away bed for me. I put my suitcase on the bed, then Davey and I went back downstairs. He and I got along great, not like my dumb brothers. Well, Albert was really nice, but Matthew was like Jesse, and Michael was kind of in between.

“What can I do, Katy?” I asked when I saw her in the large room with the fireplace.

“I was just about to show everyone the new addition. After we do that, then you and I can bake some apple pies and make some maple ice cream.”

“Yes!” I quickly agreed.

I followed along to look at the new rooms, new kitchen, new dining room, and new fireplace room. It was nice, but not very interesting. Katy showed us the new sauna which was even bigger than the one we had at home, and then everyone went to do other stuff while I went with Katy to what was now the ‘old’ kitchen.

“How have you been, Birgit?” Katy asked.

“Good! Davey keeps getting bigger!”

“Yes, he does. He’ll start first grade in August. You’re in sixth, right?”

“Yes! I’ll be in seventh after the summer.”

“You’re getting big, too!”

“But I haven’t got my period yet!” I complained.

“You’re only eleven, so that’s not surprising. But periods aren’t any fun!”

“But it means I’m a woman! And I’ll get my boobs and get pubic hair and look like a woman!”

“Look out world,” Katy laughed.

“How old were you when you had sex?”

“Eighteen, and it was the night of my Senior Prom. Do you know what that is?”

“Yes, a big dance at the end of High School. My mom wasn’t allowed to go so my dad took Aunt Bethany. I wonder if they had sex?”

Katy laughed, “I suspect if you ask your dad or Bethany, they’ll tell you. They don’t keep any secrets from you, do they?”

“If they did, how would I know?” I asked. “They’re secrets!”

Katy laughed, “I suppose that’s true, but your dad tells you anything you want to know, right?”

“He won’t tell me all about the first Birgit until I’m older. But we saw where she’s buried, so I don’t understand.”

“I think your dad wants to explain everything about her, and he thinks that even though you’re very mature, you aren’t ready to understand just yet.”

“They loved each other very much,” I said. “I think Dad still misses her sometimes. Especially when he sees Aunt Karin.”

“I think so, too.”

“Are you going to have sex with my dad?”

“We might,” Katy replied. “We have to talk about it, first. We never assume.”

“But you like it?” I asked.

Katy smiled, “I do. You know I like being with Amy most, but your dad is very special to me.”

“And to me! What’s it like to kiss a girl?”

“Probably the same as kissing a boy!”

“I’ve never had an adult kiss!”

“You’re only eleven, Birgit! You can wait a bit for your first kiss ... and even longer for your first...”

“Fuck?” I giggled, interrupting her.

“Yes, you little brat! But I was going to say ‘love affair’! Come help me with the pies!”

“Your daughter is a real trip,” Katy said as we sat close together in front of the fireplace.

“You’re telling me?” I chuckled. “What did my Pumpkin do now?”

“She’s just being her eleven-going-on-twenty-one self! She’s itching to get her period and to develop.”

“She’s been bugging Kara about that, but Kara didn’t develop until she was fourteen and my sister was thirteen, so I think Miss Birgit has another year or perhaps two, before she gets her wish.”

“Every girl dreams of getting her period, then immediately upon getting it wonders why she ever wanted it!”

“I believe that!”

“She also complained about not having had an adult kiss, and about you not telling her all the details about Birgit yet.”

“Those two complaints Kara has heard. The second one is the only complaint about me that she’ll utter to anyone else.”

“She also asked if we were going to make love.”

“And what did you tell her?”

“That we’d talk about it, the way we always do. Amy is supportive.”

“She feels I’m safe, and it lets you fulfill your very specific need.”

“You?”

“Me,” I replied. “And the ultimate question, which we have to ask each year, is what you need from me.”

“Besides expansion capital?” Katy asked with a silly smile.

“You were always pretty good at getting something ELSE to expand!” I teased.

“Perky breasts and freckles do it for you every time!”

“Very true. Did my precocious daughter have anything else to say?”

“Not for her dad’s ears.”

I nodded, “Understood. Whatever it is, she’ll tell me when she’s ready.”

“I love the faith and trust you put in your kids, and in me. Not many parents would even consider allowing their kid to have the kind of relationships you allow yours.”

“Because society has gone ‘full retard’ on childrearing,” I groused. “I swear, it’s like my mom wrote the ‘How to fuck up your kids’ book and everyone is not only buying it, but taking it as Gospel. What are you doing for Davey?”

“Don Edson, the Sheriff, took him camping last fall. He’ll take him hunting this summer.”

I chuckled, “You’re going to let your son shoot Bambi’s mom?”

“You know I’m a libertarian! And have no trouble with guns, despite being from Boston. Amy grew up around here, so it’s a normal thing for her, too. And our guests love venison when we can serve it. Don brings us some of his every year.”

“Very cool. We’d like to have Davey visit this summer, if you and Amy are OK with it.”

“I’d offer an exchange, but your daughter would kill me if I sent Davey away when she was going to be here!”

“A boy who doesn’t mind her bossing him around!” I chuckled.

“There will be plenty of those in a few years! And you never complained about women bossing you around. Heck, you sought them out! Your entire company is women in the executive suite except for your HR guy.”

“True. We kind of drifted from the question.”

“Tomorrow afternoon, I’d like to make love with you for a few hours, if you’d like to make love with me.”

“Absolutely.”

March 18, 2000, Apple Orchard Bed-and-Breakfast near Montpelier, Vermont

“Did you have fun?” I asked Katy when I saw her on Saturday afternoon.

“I love your dad.”

“I love him, too! But you love Amy more, right?”

“I love Amy differently. Just as your dad loves me differently from how he loves your moms, or how he loved Jorge.”

“Jorge was really nice,” I said, feeling sad. “I miss him.”

“And so does your dad. Do you know about his friend Stephie?”

“Jason’s wife before Abbie? The one who died from cancer?”

“Yes.”

“Mom told me about her; she died before I was born. Dad has her picture next to the ones he has of Jorge and the first Birgit. He misses her, too.”

“That’s what happens when someone dies, we miss them.”

“I miss Uncle Nick, too. What happens when we die?” I asked.

“Nobody knows for sure. Your brother Jesse would say people go to heaven, and a lot of people would agree. Your dad would say he doesn’t know, but he’s sure that there is something. Other people would say nothing.”

“What do you think?”

“I think we’ll be together with everyone who we ever loved and who ever loved us. Have you asked your dad about this?”

“No. Should I?”

“He’s one of the smartest, most thoughtful people I know. I think it would be good for you to talk to him about this.”

“And sex?”

“That you should probably talk to me or your moms about.”

“Why?”

“Because we’re girls and we know how girls think and feel.”

“Do you know how boys think?” I asked.

“NOBODY knows how boys think!” Katy said.

We both laughed but we had to stop talking because my dad and my mom and mom came into the room.

“Dad?” I asked.

“Yes, Pumpkin?” he replied.

“Can we go for a walk?”

“Just you and me?”

“Yes.”

“Sure. Let’s get our coats.”

Dad and I went to the closet by the front door, got our coats, put them on, then went outside. I put my hand in his and he squeezed once, the way he always does, and then we walked down the driveway holding hands.

“What’s the matter, Pumpkin?” he asked.

“What happens when we die?”

“Are you thinking about the first Birgit?”

“And Jorge.”

“I don’t know the answer for sure,” Dad said. “But I can tell you something that happened to both me and Aunt Bethany before you were born.”

“Can I ask you a question first?”

“Sure.”

“Katy said you took Aunt Bethany to Prom because my mom couldn’t go. Why couldn’t she go?”

“Because her dad was mean, like my mom.”

“Did you and Aunt Bethany have sex at Prom?”

Dad laughed, “Not AT Prom, Pumpkin! They would have arrested us! But after Prom, at a hotel, yes.”

“Is that normal?”

“It used to be, but now with the way parents are, no.”

“Rachel’s mom was OK with her having sex.”

“The parents of the ‘cousins’ are mostly going to be OK with that. But remember, we don’t talk about it with anyone.”

“Rachel said she really liked having sex with you!” I giggled. “And she wants to do it again!”

“That’s between Rachel and me, Pumpkin. Remember what I said when you made the coupons.”

“What were you going to tell me about?”

“Uhm, Pumpkin, I just realized that I can’t tell you that without explaining something that happened when I was sixteen, and I’m not sure you’re ready to hear it just yet.”

“Another thing like that?”

“Yes, and I’m sorry I’m exasperating you.”

“What does that mean? Ex-ass-purr-ating?”

“Frustrating and annoying.”

“So, like Jesse!” I declared.

“So you say,” Dad chuckled. “Anyway, what I can tell you is that Aunt Bethany and I both had the same dream, about the same people who died. I had it many, many years before Bethany did, and I never told her about it. Then, when she had her accident, the one where she almost died, she had a dream just like mine. She told me about it, and that’s when I realized there was a lot more to the universe than I thought. So now, I think there is something after we die. I just don’t know what it is.”

“Jesse says it’s heaven.”

“It might be, Pumpkin.”

“Do you believe in God?” I asked.

“That’s another thing I don’t know about.”

“But Katy said you were really smart!”

“Katy’s sweet,” Dad said with a smile. “But I’m smart about computers and business, not about God or heaven or things like that.”

“Sex?”

Dad laughed, “I suppose so. Some people would question whether I was smart or stupid.”

“Because they don’t like that you have two wives and Maria Cristina and Liz and dall-yances?”

“Yes.”

“But they all want to be with you!”

“Yes, that’s true. And that’s why we don’t talk about these things outside our family. And that’s true when you decide you’re ready to have sex.”

“Who can I tell?”

“If you need to tell someone, your moms or Katy.”

“Not you?”

Dad smiled, “Pumpkin, some things dads don’t need to know!”

“But you think it’s OK, right?”

“Yes, of course. When you’re old enough, it’s up to you to decide who you want to do it with. I promise to get you whatever birth control you need, but you have to promise to always use it.”

“I like babies, but I don’t want to have one for a LONG time!”

“Good!”

“But you want grandkids, right?”

“Yes, of course. But not until you and your brothers and sisters are ready. And that’s going to be awhile.”

“I think Matthew and Chelsea will have them first!”

“We’ll see.”

“How come Francesca’s mom is being so dumb?”

“Remember what I said about some parents? She’s one of the ones who thinks you have to be married to have sex.”

“But Francesca said that her mom had sex with Stan before they got married!”

“Did you hear that from Jesse or Francesca?”

“Francesca! I talk to her at school. She’s really angry with her mom because she hasn’t been able to fuc ... be with Jesse for two weeks!”

Dad laughed, “You know I don’t mind that word, but it’s probably better you don’t get used to using it because lots of people don’t like it.”

“How come we have to be how other people want us to be instead of how we want to be?”

“Well, sometimes, it’s because that’s what the law says. Other times, it’s because we need to have a job or go to school or do something that other people have to approve. So we have to act a certain way to get those things.”

“But that’s wrong!” I protested.

“Yes, Pumpkin, it is. So long as nobody is being hurt, it’s wrong to make other people do what you want instead of leaving them be.”

I didn’t answer, and Dad knew that meant I just wanted to be quiet so I could think about the stuff we talked about. I liked cuddling with my dad and not saying anything, or like now, walking with him, holding his hand. I thought about other things, too, which I wrote in my journal, but I couldn’t tell Dad about them, at least not yet. Maybe when I looked like a woman I could tell him and he would do what I wanted.

March 19, 2000, Apple Orchard Bed-and-Breakfast near Montpelier, Vermont

“She’s working her way up to the question,” Kara said.

“I know,” I replied. “And you know what I’ll tell her. It simply can’t happen. It nearly destroyed my sister and I don’t even want to begin to contemplate what it would do to my own daughter.”

“She’s not your sister, and I don’t think it would end that way, but neither you, nor Jess, could EVER contemplate it, for a myriad of reasons; and I could never agree for my own reasons.”

“Kara, whatever your reasons, or my reasons, or Jessica’s reasons might be, it’s wrong. Period. Of that I am completely confident. There are no gray areas. None.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply you should. Did she have anything else to say you can share?”

“We mostly talked about death and the afterlife, but she also told me that Francesca is very angry with her mom.”

“Gee, there’s a surprise,” Kara deadpanned.

“I know, but there really isn’t anything any of us can do. Jesse is singularly pissed at Carol as well. But Carol has Francesca going to a friend’s house to be watched by the friend’s mom after school and when Carol is out, so that pretty much makes it impossible for them to get together. She did say one other thing.”

“What?”

“It appears Rachel talked to Birgit.”

Kara laughed, “Of COURSE she did! And that means Tiffany got the story, too. Those three are like the Borg collective and their hive mind!”

I laughed, “Resistance is futile?”

“When have you denied your daughter ANYTHING?”

“Point taken. She said Rachel wants to be with me again.”

“So give her a fucking she’ll never forget, but let her know that’s the end of it. In fact, give her what Elyse got her last time - take her around the world twice!”

“Jesus, Kara,” I said through my laughter.

“Hey, if these little girls want to fuck, then show them what fucking is all about!”

“I’ll take it under advisement,” I grinned. “And speaking of that, I’m seeing Misty next Saturday.”

“To fuck her brains out so she can’t walk, talk, or see straight?” Kara smirked.

“That is what she wants.”

“Then give it to her, Snuggle Bear!”

“You get off on this, don’t you?”

“Perhaps,” Kara said primly. “And I may have a candidate for my fantasy.”

“You have to be absolutely sure, Kara. And I have to talk to her. And Jess has to approve.”

“I remember the parameters, and I think you’ll be very happy if it comes to pass. But I’m still not sure she’s the right girl.”

“If and when you are, then I’ll talk to her.”

“I suppose we should pack,” Kara said. “We have to leave in about an hour.”

“Unfortunately. These times away always seem so short; even the week in the UP.”