Chapter 63: Not so Momentous After All

October 29, 2000, Chicago, Illinois

Birgit followed me as far as the stairs, then scooted upstairs when I went to the front door and opened it.

“Hi!” Sophie said.

“Hi!” I replied and held the door open so she could come into the house.

I closed the door behind her then led her to my study where I waited until she went in, and then walked in, closing the door behind me. I nodded to one of the wingback chairs, she sat down in one, and I sat down in the other.

“Is something wrong?” she asked.

I smiled and shook my head, “Not at all. I just wanted to make sure you had your test and that this is what you really want to do.”

She opened the small purse she had slung over her shoulder, extracted a paper and handed it to me. It was a clean test dated nearly two months previous. Thinking back, I was sure she’d done the test and then taken a couple of weeks to work up her nerve to ask. I refolded the paper and handed it back, and Sophie stuffed it back in her purse and snapped it shut.

“You don’t think I should do this, do you?”

“I think my opinion is of little importance, so long as you’re doing it for reasons you understand and which make sense to you, not because of what you think other people think about you.”

“You’re concerned about how I reacted to what Becka and Mattie did back in January?”

“Yes. You called it strange that someone would just casually have sex without being together for a while.”

“I’m not allowed to change my mind?”

“Of course you are, so long as you’ve thought through the issues. You also said, if you recall, that nothing that was said in any of the Rap Sessions or in the sauna, or anything that happened that day, hadn’t made you want to have sex with me. Remember?”

“Yes.”

“That’s all I’m going to say. Ask me again, if you want, and I won’t debate you further.”

Sophie was silent for a moment then nodded her head firmly.

“I don’t want to be a virgin any longer. I want you to be the one to solve my ‘complaint’. Today.”

“Then let’s go find a bed,” I replied.

I stood, took her hand and led her from the study to the nanny room. While I had been napping, Kara had changed the sheets after Eduardo, Elyse, and the boys had left, and had mentioned it to me in case of this particular eventuality. We went into the room and I closed and locked the door behind us.

“How did you want this to go?” I asked.

“Mattie said the best thing to do is simply put myself in your hands. She said you would read me like an open book and play me like a piano! She said she had complete faith in your skills!”

“What have you done?”

“Just some kissing. Well, and we saw each other naked in the sauna.”

“Shall we undress and get into bed?”

She nodded and, very likely because of her experience in the sauna, pulled her sweatshirt over her head, wriggled out of her jeans, then removed her socks, bra, and panties while I undressed. Sophie was what I would call ‘nice looking’ - not pretty, not cute, but pleasant looking with long, brown permed hair, full lips, modest breasts, neatly trimmed pubic hair, and long, shapely legs. She didn’t exercise, so she was soft, rather than toned, but she wasn’t overweight. She got into the turned-down bed and I got in next to her.

Things progressed as they normally did with a first-timer - kissing, suckling her breasts, and pressing my tongue into her virgin pussy to coat it with her musky juices, and then moving between her legs and positioning my glans against her plump labia. She was sufficiently wet from my ministrations, allowing me to slide completely into her virgin tunnel, unblocked by any barrier. After a few long, slow thrusts, Sophie wrapped her legs around mine and began moving with me. We screwed at a modest pace, with Sophie having just one small orgasm before I had my release. I pulled out of her, moved next to her, and pulled her into a cuddling position.

“How do you feel?” I asked.

“Certain that I did the right thing,” she said quietly, but firmly.

“We have a couple of hours,” I said. “It’s up to you if you want to do it again.”

“I think so, yes, but can we talk first?”

“Sure. What’s bugging you?”

She laughed softly, “How did you know?”

“Just a feeling,” I replied.

“I liked it, and please don’t take this the wrong way, but it wasn’t as momentous as I thought it would be.”

“Like a movie where the previews looked amazing, but the movie was only so-so?”

“That’s just it - having sex felt good, and I do want to do it again before I leave, but I guess I expected some kind of radical transformation.”

“I think that happened when you had the courage to take off your clothes in the sauna combined with your decision to have the STI test. At that point, you were already an adult in your mind, you just didn’t realize it. Sex simply confirmed what had already happened.”

“Can I ask you a question and get an honest answer?”

“To the best of my ability and without violating anyone’s privacy.”

“Did you like it? I mean, I know guys can get off easily.”

“I did,” I said. “I very much like the way you taste and, if I may be blunt, your pussy felt very nice around my dick! And, if you want, I’m happy to do it again with you.”

Sophie laughed softly, “I suppose guys don’t turn down available ‘pussy’, as you put it.”

“Oh, they do,” I replied. “I certainly have.”

“Uhm, not to be nasty, but you have WAY more access to ‘pussy’ than any guy I know!”

“And yet, even if that weren’t true, there are girls I’d turn down; even very pretty ones.”

“Why?”

“I want my sex partners to also be friends; I wouldn’t have sex with someone I didn’t think could be a friend, even if our lives diverge and we don’t become friends. And that means at least some level of philosophical agreement. And, honestly, it helps if they’re friends before, because then sex serves its true purpose, at least as I see it - bonding.”

“Which explains the girls at the Rap Session.”

“Yes. But they didn’t all start out that way.”

“You mean Becka? She told me a lot more than what’s been discussed at the Rap Sessions. I guess she was a major bitch.”

“Misguided,” I said.

“She called herself a bitch.”

“She’s free to do that, but it was really more a matter of getting her thinking straight than anything.”

“And she really had sex the first time with you AND a girl?”

“Becka does not discriminate,” I chuckled.

“She said that was the only way she could be truly free.”

“And I think I agree with her.”

“I’m curious; why nothing fancy or crazy?”

“Because you aren’t Mattie,” I replied. “Or Becka.”

“You guessed Mattie told me a lot.”

“I did. And that’s OK. Education is the key, always. And, I’m willing to bet that conversation happened AFTER you got your test. You couldn’t have had it before.”

“You’re right. How did you know?”

“Experience. And given your personality, what we did was exactly right for you. All the other stuff? Do with your boyfriend or husband. Bethany’s book has good information, and there is a bibliography in the back of other books which can help you figure out how to do those things if your partner never has.”

“I’m not sure when I’ll do this again after today.”

“That’s entirely up to you. Maybe it’s a few weeks, maybe it’s a few years. Maybe it’s even on your wedding night. Remember what we say about sex - only you can decide when it’s right for you.”

“Mattie encouraged me to tell you to, and I’m quoting, ‘fuck my brains out’ and do everything possible.”

“Mattie was wrong; you chose wisely. What worked for her, worked for her. You aren’t her and that wasn’t what you needed. You needed what we did - a bit of foreplay and then a conventional, moderate, enjoyable screw.”

Sophie laughed, “You use ‘pussy’ but then you use ‘screw’! Why?”

“Usually, at least when I’m talking about sex, ‘fuck’ is combined with ‘senseless’, ‘unconscious’, or ‘brains out’.”

“So screwing is less, uhm, energetic?”

“That’s probably the best way to say it, yes. The thing is, you have to do what you like and want, though with a partner you’ll need to discover together what you each need. If your needs aren’t compatible, then you probably should find a different partner rather than try to change radically.”

“You just basically said nobody should marry without sleeping together first.”

“I’d say, in the usual case, that’s true. That said, sometimes that isn’t possible or even desirable. And I respect everyone’s decision on what to do. If they ask, I’ll give my advice, but encourage them to think it through and make their own decision.”

“You don’t have to answer, obviously, but do most girls just do it with you once? I mean, on one occasion?”

“It depends. I do try to avoid long-term sexual relationships for the most part, but there are some which are longer term. Even with those, what usually happens is they start dating, so it comes to an end.”

“How long was the longest one?”

“Besides the mothers of my children, about seven years, I guess, but that was off-and-on. Though, now that I think about it, another off-and-on relationship lasted longer - about fourteen years. That one started in High School.”

“Not to pry, but was there a reason you didn’t marry her?”

“As bizarre as it sounds, we were way too close to marry. We had been best friends and lovers, but every time we tried to be a couple, something terrible happened.”

“It’s Doctor Bethany, isn’t it? I read her other book, on sexual abuse, because my cousin was raped. I put all the pieces together and figured out you were the one who helped her. And then in her book for teens, she discussed a long-term relationship and used it for examples.”

“Of what NOT to do,” I said. “We messed up pretty badly. And that’s good deductive reasoning on your part.”

“You really still call her ‘Sweetheart’, even though she’s married and has kids?”

“I do.”

“What happened to her first husband is just tragic!”

“Oh, I know,” I sighed. “Nick and I were close friends. If I regret one thing, it’s that he won’t be around to see his son and my daughter marry.”

“You realize how strange that is, right? That they basically got engaged when she was a toddler.”

“As strange as that might be, it’s true. My kids have their own views on sex and relationships, and it’s not my business to interfere unless I think they are in some kind of physical danger.”

“My dad would NEVER be so mellow about my relationships. He’d completely flip his lid if he found out I wasn’t a virgin.”

“So don’t tell him!” I chuckled.

“Duh!” Sophie said, laughing softly. “If you want, we can do it again.”

“Is that what you want?”

“Yes.”

“Did you have fun, Dad?” I asked when he came back from walking Sophie to the door.

“Nice smirk, Pumpkin! I thought you went upstairs!”

I giggled, “Only partway until I saw who was at the door!”

“Are you keeping a list?” Dad asked.

“Who? Me?”

“Yes, you!”

“I’d never do anything to hurt you, Dad! You know that!”

“I know. But even things which are funny can turn out to be dangerous.”

“I know. Do you think it’s OK to call Rachel?”

“I actually have no idea. I wouldn’t invite her here for a few days.”

“Afraid she’s going to attack you?”

Dad shook his head, “I don’t want Carla to think anything is going on between me and Rachel.”

“Her mom is SO dumb! It already happened! The horse is out of the «barn»! Well, after it was IN the «barn» for a long time!”

Dad laughed hard, “How the heck did YOU learn that play on words?”

“When Aunt Karin was here, she gave me a book they use for immigrants to learn Swedish.”

“I think I have a copy of an earlier edition in my boxes in my closet upstairs. But you know what that word means, right?”

“‘Kid’. But it can be used for any age, like ‘I am your child’ even though I’m not a ‘child’!”

“All grown up at twelve?” Dad asked.

“I wish! I told Suzanne it takes too long to grow up.”

“I’m sure you think so, Pumpkin. But enjoy being a kid, even if you act like an adult most of the time.”

“MOST of the time?” I asked, glaring at him, and putting my hands on my hips.

“Ah, mini-Kara returns!” Dad teased. “You look just like your mom when she’s unhappy with me!”

“What? Once a decade?”

“Your moms just show their unhappiness in different ways.”

“Not with me! Mom gives me that look a lot!”

“Oh really? Just how often is your mom upset with you, Pumpkin?”

“Rarely! Yes, that’s it. Rarely!”

“Uh-huh!” Dad chuckled. “But you don’t get into too much trouble.”

“Coupons?” I smirked.

“Yes. Go call Rachel and let me know what happens.”

I held out my arms for a hug and after Dad hugged me, I went to the kitchen to call Rachel’s house. Her mom answered and sounded PISSED but put Rachel on the phone anyway.

“Hi,” I said. “How bad?”

“If she would just do what she wants to do, everything would be fine!” Rachel whispered.

“But it’s OK for us to hang out together?”

“Yes.”

“Dad says you probably shouldn’t come over until your mom calms down.”

“Ugh. Let’s meet at Tiff’s tomorrow after school. We can do homework together there. Hopefully Mom takes a chill pill.”

“See you tomorrow!”

We said ‘goodbye’ and I hung up.

October 30, 2000, Chicago, Illinois

“So what did you tell your mom, Rache?” Tiffany asked when Rachel came into Tiffany’s house on Monday after school.

“That she should just get over it and have SOMEBODY fuck her brains out!”

“NO WAY!” Tiffany gasped.

“Well, that’s what I wanted to say to her,” Rachel replied. “I just told her that we had different opinions and she could do what she wanted but I should be allowed to do what I wanted. And you know what I want!”

Tiffany giggled, “Duh!”

“Your mom would lose her mind,” I said.

“She’d have to have one to lose it!” Rachel said testily.

“She’s not as bad as Francesca’s mom,” I said. “She got divorced and moved to Iowa to try to keep Jesse and Francesca apart!”

“She was too late!” Tiffany exclaimed. “Francesca and Jesse did it before her mom moved.”

“At least Heather’s mom chilled,” Rachel said.

“And Paul still hasn’t got his blowjob!” Tiffany giggled, causing Rachel and me to laugh.

“And he never will if he keeps being an idiot!” I declared.

“Can you guys come to a sleepover on Friday night?” Tiffany asked. “I’ll invite Missy and Sally, too. I’d invite Kelly, but I think she has a date with Jesse.”

“Ask her,” I said. “You never know.”

“Trouble in paradise?” Rachel asked.

I shrugged, “I just think you should ask her anyway.”

“We should invite MC!” Rachel said.

“I’m sure she has a date with her sailor!” I said. “She’s spending lots of time with him. But she promised she’ll hang out with us on Saturdays.”

“Cool. We should do homework.”

Rachel was right, so we all got out our books and started working on our assignments.

“I have a very unhappy med student,” Jessica said as she, Kara, and I cuddled on the floor cushions in the ‘Indian’ room after getting the kids to bed.

“She’ll get over it,” I replied.

“I listened to a ten-minute tirade about you reacting so badly to her comments.”

I shrugged, “Whatever. She’s the one who called casual sex abusive. Of course, at that point she didn’t realize I had more partners than James Bond by the time I graduated from High School!”

“The School Stud even bagged the leader of the Holy Rollers before graduation!” Kara said mirthfully.

“‘Bagged’ isn’t quite the way I’d describe what actually happened, as opposed to what we both intended to happen.”

“True,” Kara replied. “So what did you do, Jess?”

“Listened to her whine, told her to get a grip, get her shit together, and act like a doctor. And to actually think about her audience before she says things which turn out to be very stupid. Tiger isn’t responsible for her saying what she said. And, honestly, her behavior caused me to reconsider my opinion of her.”

“Shit,” I sighed. “Jess, that’s not right.”

“Not her interaction with you; her interaction with me this morning. She put all the blame on you and wouldn’t take responsibility for what she said, claiming you overreacted and then used rhetorical tricks to trap her. That’s what I meant by telling her to get her shit together. I see that attitude amongst some doctors - everything that goes wrong is the fault of the nurse, or the equipment, or the hospital, or the rules, or,” Jessica smirked, “the government, never their own actions. I live for encountering them in M&M. Those are the ones I’m ruthless and merciless with. If Ivy doesn’t get over herself, she’ll be one of them, to the detriment of her patients.”

“I recall someone like that,” I replied lightly.

“And Neela Sinha, Jorge, and you helped me NOT be that doctor.”

“You didn’t say anything about Lieutenant Nicholson.”

“No change. A couple of the Burn Unit Residents think that’s a good sign, but without improvement in his PO2, he’ll never make it. His blood chemistry is a train wreck, too. Dad agrees with me, by the way. It’s our opinion that Lieutenant Nicholson will probably die in the next day or two if his O2 levels don’t improve. And if he does somehow survive, he’ll need extensive reconstructive surgery.”

“I take it the fire company is keeping vigil?”

“Yes. There’s always one of his fellow firefighters with him. The hospital waives the rules in cases like this.”

“And the little girl he rescued?”

“Improving. Kids are pretty resilient. She’ll need plastic surgery on her legs and she’ll likely have diminished lung capacity, but otherwise, she’s responding well to treatment. Changing subjects, did you hear from Carla?”

“No, and I don’t expect to. Even if she gets counseling, I’m not the guy to help her through this. What she needs is a long-term, loving partner, but she’s had trouble with every relationship she’s ever had, even before she and I met. Things look like they’re going fine and then suddenly she’s not with the guy any longer and he disappears.”

“Well, at least she let Rachel hang out with Tiff and Birgit.”

“I don’t know if she heard anything else, but I guess she heard what I said about wrecking Rachel’s life by cutting her off from her friends.”

“At least Heather’s mom finally relaxed,” Kara said.

“Only because Joan wants Tiger to bang her senseless but can’t ask because she’s married!”

“Oh, she does not!” I exclaimed. “She and I spoke, briefly, about the kids, and I made sure Paul’s parents had a good talk with him about appropriate behavior. And that’s the limit of our interaction for the past few months.”