Chapter 48: Two Dates

September 6, 2000, Chicago, Illinois

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Cindi growled at the ‘Kitchen Cabinet’ meeting on Wednesday. “What a bunch of pussies!”

“This is what Deborah predicted,” I replied. “I agree that it sucks.”

“No lawyer I know thought the government would prevail in the end,” Liz said. “The handwriting was on the wall. Now that the government has said they won’t pursue a break-up, we’ll see a settlement by the end of the year.”

“And right back to business as usual,” Cindi complained. “Microsoft will just keep doing what they’ve been doing all along and everyone gets fucked and doesn’t enjoy it!”

“Microsoft shareholders probably do,” Elyse said. “But that’s about it.”

“We’re seeing some traction on MySQL servers,” Cindi said, “but Samba just isn’t ready as a full-blown replacement for file and printer sharing. And it can’t even begin to approach Active Directory services, but, given most places have some kind of Windows server we can piggyback the file and print sharing without having to sell them a beefy DB server at inflated Microsoft prices.”

“How is the ‘read only’ browser version testing coming along?”

“The two Bens and Ned are using the Alpha version at their firms.”

“What’s your licensing plan?” I asked.

“It’s read-only, so it’ll just be another optional add-on module. We’ll base the fee on the total number of seat licenses that the client has purchased, but it’ll be affordable. Fortunately, IIS ships with Windows 2000 server. Unfortunately, it sucks compared to Apache, so we’ll use Apache on Windows as well as on Linux, except if we have to run on a shared server, which would mean using IIS.”

“Changing topics, has there been any pushback on the sexual harassment prevention training?” I asked.

“A bit of grousing, but nothing serious,” Charlie said. “Lots of eye rolls from the Club, too.”

“I was hoping Steve could personally demonstrate!” Kimmy teased.

“In THIS office, teasing is OK,” Elyse said. “But we have to be VERY careful otherwise.”

“Obviously,” Kimmy agreed. “But this group is special.”

“And it bugs the hell out of Bob,” Liz said. “Steve and six women?”

“So, like his trip to St. Martin, then?” Cindi asked with a smirk.

“Hah!” Liz said gleefully. “I was there!”

“Braggart!”

“Says the woman who participated in what had to be the world’s longest ever seduction!” Elyse teased. “Sixteen years?”

“We met in ‘82, but the actual seduction didn’t begin until after I’d broken up with Dave, so that would have been ‘83. Call it fourteen years because it was finally consummated in ‘97.”

“I got him the same day I met him!” Elyse said smugly. “So, not even fourteen hours!”

“Speaking of braggarts!” Liz teased.

“Can we please get back on topic?” I asked.

“With you, sex is ALWAYS the topic!” Charlie said with a laugh.

“And you know I love all of you, but please, back to the training.”

“I think you doing the Town Hall made it such that nobody can legitimately complain,” Kimmy said. “If you’re behind it, nobody can really oppose you. If they did, they’d get landed on like a ton of bricks by someone who joined in the ‘Before Athena’ age of NIKA.”

“I’m curious,” Charlie said, “what else might the liability carrier ask for?”

“Mandatory drug testing is something that’s gaining steam,” Liz said, “though mostly for people who work in dangerous environments or with heavy equipment, or like truck drivers, and so on. We don’t have any situations like that, so unless there was some third-party requirement, say by a company where we were sending consultants, it’s not likely we’d ever need to do that. I can’t imagine Steve or Stephanie thinking it would be a good idea to implement something like that unless their hands were forced.”

“It makes no difference to me what people do on their own time,” I said. “If it affects their performance, we’ll address it through our Employee Assistance program. That has worked well, according to Elyse, though obviously I don’t know specific details.”

“I recall you having a hissy fit about not being able to see that part of the files,” Elyse said with a bemused look.

“Because YOU implied it was a material risk for NIKA. But you got your way.”

“Things are different now,” Kimmy said. “Back then, there was nobody who worked here who would have been bothered by you knowing what was in their file. Now? Not so much.”

“Anything else?” I asked.

“I received preliminary numbers from the insurance brokers for next year,” Elyse said. “Double-digit percentage increases in premiums look unavoidable. California and New York are the worst, in that regard.”

“It’s a cost of doing business,” I said. “Have you talked to Stephanie about it?”

“I have a meeting with her and Bob to go over the numbers later in the week.”

“Anything else?” I asked.

All of the women shook their heads.

“Keep your fingers on the pulse, please.”

“Yours?” Kimmy asked invitingly.

“Take three kisses from petty cash,” I replied with a wink.

“Not quite the same,” she replied. “But thank you!”

She left and I watched her cute little butt sway as she walked away. She stopped at the door and looked back over her shoulder.

“I knew you were watching!” she said, winking.

I smiled and when she moved to her desk, I turned to my workstation and saw the AIM icon flashing.

Petra1983: @}-;-’-
NIKASteve: Hi! Nice rose! <3
Petra1983: Thanks! You made Val’s day! She loves Belinda and Elizabeth!
NIKASteve: Cool. She spent the entire party talking to them except for one dance.
Petra1983: She liked that, too!
NIKASteve: Aren’t you in class?
Petra1983: Computer class. The teacher can’t see my screen!
NIKASteve: Don’t get into trouble!
Petra1983: I won’t. How was your Leigh? 😛
NIKASteve: She pronounces it ‘Lee’.
Petra1983: Not MY fault she doesn’t know a good pun!
NIKASteve: LOL
Petra1983: Does she have AIM?
NIKASteve: She’s LeighR83.
Petra1983: Cool. Oops, gotta go! L8r!
NIKASteve: L8r!

I wondered if I could get away to see Suzanne, but given that I was going to be gone for two weeks in October and that I was very likely going to spend a few days in St. Martin in November, I had to be careful about any additional travel because I didn’t want to neglect my family, work, or karate. I’d also have to work around the Rap Sessions. And Suzanne was going to be in Chicago during Christmas break. Going for a weekend was possible, but I needed to think about it. In less than a year it would be moot, because she’d be living at the house. I’d have to make up my mind soon, because I was running out of time before my South America trip.

“Steve?” Elyse said, coming into the office.

“What’s up?”

“I forgot to give you Matthew’s play schedule. We obviously won’t know what parts he has until they have tryouts, but this way you can reserve the dates. Fortunately, the Fall play is after you come back from South America.”

“Thanks. I’ll put them on the calendar now. Did you find out anything about the robotics competitions?”

“No. They didn’t give Michael a schedule at the club meeting yesterday. If we don’t get one next week, I’ll call the club advisor so you can put them on your calendar as well.”

“OK. Just keep me posted.”

“Will do!”

She left and I scanned the sheet she’d given me. They were putting on Arsenic and Old Lace in November and You Can’t Take It with You in March. The musical was Grease, which would be in May. I put the dates onto the calendar and put the schedule into my satchel to take home. Juggling all the kids’ activities was becoming a serious challenge, though fortunately my girls were focused on karate and Dave and Tom handled scouting for Albert which relieved me of the need to sleep in a tent!

September 8, 2000, Chicago, Illinois

“What time will you be home tonight?” Kara asked at breakfast on Friday.

“I’m not sure,” I replied. “Val and I are having dinner at Italian Village. That’s all that’s planned.”

“And I have my monthly doctors’ dinner tonight,” Jessica added. “Gina is hosting.”

“And Ashley and I are going with Winter to pick out her wedding dress,” Kara said.

“I think I might be the first one home,” I chuckled. “Though Jess does have to be up early for work tomorrow.”

“Even if I’d stayed out all night it wouldn’t be as long as those crazy shifts my first year! I have nothing this afternoon, so I’ll get a nice warm bath and a good nap!”

“What are the other girls doing?” I asked.

“Penny and Maria Cristina are hosting a Girl Gang party,” Kara said. “Lieutenant Knox has duty tonight and Terry is hanging out with Tom and Dave and their boys. He’s taking Albert. What time will Aimee be here?”

“She’s flying in late,” I replied. “She said she’d probably be here around 10:00pm.”

“You’re going with them tomorrow, right?” Kara asked.

“Yes. After karate we’ll have lunch here, then we’ll head for Meigs and fly a circuit around the lake. Well, Albert and Aimee will. I’ll be sitting in the back holding on for dear life!”

“Oh you will not!” Kara laughed. “His feet can’t reach the pedals, so how does that work?”

“According to Aimee, you almost never need the rudder,” I said. “He can learn the controls, and he’s been studying the book she gave him on radio procedures. Lizzy will stay here and hang out with the girls.”

The kids had left for school, so I kissed my wives and headed to the office. It was a good day and I managed to get a lot done, with minimal interruptions. Just before I left for the day, I booked a round-trip ticket to Colorado Springs, flying out on the 15th and returning on the 17th.

“Would you like to go to the Fall dance with me?” I asked when I got to Kelly’s house on Friday evening.

“Yes!” she gushed. “I’d love to, Jesse!”

The timing had worked out perfectly. I’d told Cynthia that I would have the threesome with her and Libby, and that would be on the last day of the month. The Fall dance was two weeks later, and I could ask Kelly to go steady at the dance.

“Is it OK if we double with Robby and Missy?” I asked. “We can have dinner at Medici before the dance.”

“Sure! What are we doing tonight?”

“Dinner at the diner and then I thought we could go see Space Cowboys, if that’s OK with you.”

“That’s fine. You owe me a RomCom, though!”

“When there’s one rated PG or PG-13, I promise we’ll go. The dumb rules say we can’t see R movies, even though I can turn on HBO or Showtime or get them from Netflix!”

“With Netflix, could you get Never Been Kissed? It’s PG-13 and has Drew Barrymore.”

“Sure. I can put it on the list when I get home tonight. How about when it shows up we eat dinner at my house and then watch the movie on my dad’s DVD player?”

“You don’t have one?”

“My moms usually have their ‘stay home date’ on Friday night and I don’t want to interfere. Nobody will bother us in my dad’s house.”

“OK!”

We left her house and she slipped her hand into mine and we walked south towards the diner where we’d have dinner.

“What’s good here?” Val asked me after we were seated at Italian Village.

“Everything!” I replied.

“Hang on! What can you eat here?”

“I’ll have the veal Parmesan with mixed seasonal vegetables instead of the pasta. It comes with broccoli, too. Salad is obviously OK, so long as there are no croutons. Dessert is problematic, so I’ll pass on that. A friend of mine owns a place in Bucktown and he whips up all kinds of berry concoctions that I can eat without trouble.”

“Do you like get sick, or what?”

“It puts me at risk for a syncopal event - you know, a fainting spell. It also would very likely trigger a manic episode.”

“Bipolar?”

“Not officially, because it’s totally controlled with diet, sleep, and exercise.”

“So you have an endocrine problem AND you’re bipolar?”

“Maybe. I have the symptoms of bipolar disorder, but they might actually be symptoms of the endocrine problem, which itself is likely related to some congenital defect in my hypothalamus. But they can’t truly diagnose that given the currently available technology. I also have low blood pressure, a normal temperature which is a few degrees below what’s typical, and naturally low blood sugar.”

“How does your bipolar disorder manifest?”

“Agitation or depression, in addition to the possible syncope.”

“So what do you do?”

“I can mostly prevent it by following my diet and exercise regimen and by getting enough sleep. In the past, before it was figured out, I would self-medicate. I drank gallons of Coca Cola to combat feeling sluggish because of my low blood sugar. I used sex to combat both the mania and depression.”

“Seriously? From what age?”

“Fourteen.”

“FOURTEEN?!”

“Times were different,” I said. “That was the late 70s. The societal freakout over a normal teen rite of passage from childhood to adulthood hadn’t manifested itself.”

“Normal rite of passage?”

“It was one of the two big deals - getting your driving license and having sex. With few exceptions, my friends lost their virginities by the time they were seventeen. HIV changed things, and then the blatant attempt to suppress teen sexuality as part of an intentional plan of infantilizing teens began.”

“I guess I missed that stuff because I spent so much time with my telescope and reading. I’m really not sure what was going on at our school.”

“I talked to Suzanne about it and it’s pretty much what passes for normal now - lousy sex ed and concerted efforts to demonize sex.”

The waiter came and took our drink orders.

“Your wives really let you play around?” Val asked when he left to get the drinks.

“The short answer is ‘yes’.”

“You have those two beautiful women; why me? No guy has ever been interested.”

“I explained why that was - you decided nobody would like you and so you gave off a vibe that said ‘stay away’. And that vibe was about being friends, too. Suzanne ignored the vibe and became your friend. I’m doing the same thing. As for why you, I happen to like smart girls. For me, sex is about bonding with close friends. I’m straight, so that doesn’t apply to guys. I have other ways of bonding with them, though sadly my closest male friend died when the car he was riding in was hit by a drunk driver.”

“And you expect me to have sex with you if I want to join your little cabal?”

“No, I’m inviting you to have sex with me, if you choose to. You can join the group without having sex with me.”

“Why do I get the idea that it’s like membership levels, or whatever?”

“There are various levels of intimacy; that said, sex is NOT intimacy, but a sign of intimacy. It kind of depends on the relationship, but it can be anything from purely physical to the joining of two kindred spirits, or just about anything in between.”

The waiter brought our drinks and we placed our orders.

“Doesn’t there have to be attraction?” she asked when he’d walked away.

“As I said, I’m attracted to smart girls. Jessica is a trauma surgeon; Kara has a PhD in chemistry; Elyse, mother to two of my sons has an MBA; Jennifer, mother to my eldest, has a Master’s in Electrical Engineering. I find intelligence incredibly sexy.”

“But looks?”

“There is a specific body type to which I’m attracted, but as I think I said, only a fool judges a book by its cover. Have you read Harry Turtledove’s short-story anthology, Agent of Byzantium?”

“No. Is it any good?”

“I think it is. Anyway, the cover shows a man dressed in Western Roman Empire military dress, with a laser rifle and what appears to be a satellite radio, overlooking a city which has minarets. All of those things are wrong and, in fact, contrary to the story!”

“Then why?”

“Somebody probably gave the artist a synopsis which said the Eastern Roman Empire developed technology earlier, and didn’t say much else about the story. The artist got it ALL wrong. If I were Turtledove, I’d have disowned that cover, but I’m sure his publisher had total control, unfortunately.”

“Wrong how?

“The ‘Agent’ is in Byzantium, not Rome, and was a secret agent, so he wouldn’t have been wearing a Roman military uniform, not to mention we’re talking centuries after the Western half of the empire collapsed. Second, the advances in the story are early development of smallpox vaccinations, black powder, and printing, not electronics or laser weapons. Third, there would have been no minarets in Constantinople because in the anthology, Islam never appears. Mohammed is known as the second greatest Christian evangelist after Paul of Tarsus, and his religious statement is ‘There is no God but God, and Jesus is His son’.”

“I’d have had that artist shot!”

“Probably the publisher, not the artist, but yeah. I’ll give you a real-life example which you’ll discover once you start coming to the Rap Sessions. Will you acknowledge that Elizabeth is one of the smartest people in the room?”

“One of,” Val said with a silly smile.

“The only reason we didn’t bond the way I’m talking about is because her ethical system tells her not to sleep with married men, even if they have what amounts to an open marriage. We actually talked about it in pretty much the same context.”

“I guess I was lucky to meet her on Monday; she’s about to burst!”

“She’ll miss a few Rap Sessions for sure, but she lives for them, so I suspect she’ll be back within a couple of weeks of having her baby. And you’ll be able to witness another thing we all agree upon.”

“What’s that?”

“She’ll nurse him or her in front of all of us. It’s a natural biological function and nothing that should be hidden.”

“She told me about the sauna and the ‘naked Rap Session’.”

“Nudity is also natural. We’re all born that way. We have to be taught to be modest and taught that nudity is wrong and that it’s ALWAYS about sex. It’s not.”